The Story of The Lover: PART XV

I am not okay.

Because of that single question that you weren't able to defend yourself from, you left me hanging, and we grew apart. We completely stopped making contact with each other.

But how I wish the campus is bigger than it is, so there would be a lesser chance to see you everyday. You don't smile at me anymore. You don't look at my direction. You treat me like I never existed in your life before.

We became strangers once again.

Just like that.

I realized that I should have bought you a teddy bear or a toy car, so that you wouldn't have to pick my heart and play with it.

How could you?

You should have told me that you only wanted to do roleplaying, I might gladly play with you, and by then I wouldn't have been so dumb.

How fucking could you?

Then you posted on Twitter. A picture of you wearing stripes at the amusement park, and I don't need to ask who's behind the camera.

Congratulations for getting back to her.

I am not ok—

"Hyunji, are you okay?"

I snapped back to reality after hearing your actual voice again.

The screams of the lip-pierced guy get louder and louder, endangering my ears once again. Isn't it fantastic? I couldn't believe I would be able to experience something surreal, to be blinded and deafened by trains of flashbacks, just because you asked me that. The sting on my head has returned, reminding me that I got smacked by a basketball only a moment ago.

Wow. I just recalled a month-long memories when in reality I'm just sitting beside you for few minutes.

Then you asked me again, "Does it hurt?"

How kind of you to ask me that?

It doesn't fit.

Are you okay? Does it hurt?

Yes, so much.

It hurts so much.

You made me fall in love with you. You made me believe there is something between us. You used me. You hurt me. I am not fucking okay, thank you very much! Now stop looking at me like you are truly concerned because I know you're fucking not. You left me alone and confused for these past two weeks, which felt like million years, and now I am certain.

You are a jerk.

You are a motherfucker.

But look . . .

Here I am today, smiling at you.

I can't believe I still find myself smiling at you.

"It doesn't hurt, even a bit." My answers to your questions, assuring you. "I'm okay."

I'm coward and dumb.

Let's just say I'm okay.

Okay, I'm okay.

a/n

So you've reached part 15, how was it?

Thoughts about Jeon Jeongguk?

THIS IS ISN'T THE END OF THE BOOK, guys, only the end of our girl's point of view.

If you still want to know Jeongguk's thoughts, then please proceed to the next chapter.

And who knows how this story really ends?

*winks*