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Oh woe is me.... or not

A oneshot challenge between RedHawkdude, Dragon1010 and I

This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the How to train your dragon world, which is trademarked by DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. and originally written by Cressida Cowell, and I do not claim any ownership over them or make any money from them. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official storyline.  

Date: 16th April 2017

Prompt:Humans are one of the most feared species in the galaxy. Not due to superior strength,speed,skill or strategy. In fact, it's because in comparison to the other species, humans are just batshit crazy enough to try any half-assed plan they come up with.

Rules: Httyd Characters as you main character list, 5000 word limit, must have at least one alien race, and Scifi.

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AN: This is Toothcup. (Humanoid Toothless x Hiccup) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ FURTHER OF YOUR OWN VOLITION.

Oh woe is me.... Or not

Hiccup groaned as he got out of bed. It was monday morning and he would gladly hear that school was canceled so that he could flop right back onto his fluffy pillow. He waved his hand over the alarm sensor, effectively silencing it.

With a sigh he got ready for school. He dressed in a simple green sweater and dark brown khakis. The beige messenger bag was slung over his shoulders as the automatic door of his little apartment opened.

The world that greeted Hiccup was one that many humans of centuries ago thought as science fiction. The sidewalks were filled with alien species going about their day while hover cars raced along the magnetic highways in the sky. Gothic looking skyscrapers dotted the Berk skyline, a testament to the first contact that human civilisation had with an alien race called the Draconians.

A century ago a Draconian ship crashed landed on Earth, and with them their first visitor. Hostilities arose between nations but the Draconian had put that to rest. He extended his hand in friendship to the humans and a glorious age followed. Human technology fused with Draconian technology, boosting both species to new heights. When other alien races learned of the peace between the two races, as the Draconians were a highly respected race for their intelligence and physical strength, they decided to also pay the humans a visit. Soon Earth turned into a hub for intergalactic commerce.

Hiccup made his way through the morning rush and met up with his friend Fishlegs who was at the station waiting for the hover train.

"Hi Fish" Hiccup greeted the other as he arrived just in time as the train was pulling into the station.

"Morning Hiccup" Fishlegs greeted as they took their seats. Once the train started moving he turned to Hiccup with a serious face. "So are you going to do it today?"

Hiccup let out a sigh. "I don't know Fish."

"Breaking up is hard to do Hiccup, but it would be for the best. She's just using you." Fishlegs said.

"I know Fish, I know. It's just that I really don't want any broken bones." Hiccup moaned. "Camicazi is the hit first, hit second, and maybe ask questions later kind of girl."

The train stopped at the next station and Hiccup waved Astrid, his longtime friend, over.

"So what are we talking about?" Astrid asked as she took the empty seat beside Hiccup.

"How to avoid broken bones." Hiccup mumbled dryly. "Remember how I've been considering breaking up with Camicazi? Fishlegs seems to think today is a good day."

"I know Hiccup but you'll just have to risk it. I hate seeing you like this." Fishlegs said as Astrid added. "You might as well get it over with. I hate seeing her threat you like that. I still can't believe you won't give me permission to teach her a lesson."

"I don't want to have to bail you out of jail again Astrid." Hiccup mumbled. "The officers were actually afraid of you after you beat up that gropper and got arrested for assault."

"He had it coming." Astrid muttered. "And no changing the topic. Camicazi treats you like trash. She demands for you to do things for her and openly flirts with other guys while you are around. The whole school knows that she secretly harbours a crush on Talon Night. What made you ask her out in the first place?"

"I.... didn't." Hiccup mumbled sheepishly. "She came onto me and told me we were dating now. If I refused she would ruin me, and you know that she could. She's in the top tier of popularity while I'm just some nerd. Guess who everyone will listen too."

"She got a convenient lacky out of it." Astrid muttered.

"What I need is a plan to avoid getting beaten up. Camicazi is an Andosian and they are really strong. You know what would happen."

"I'm sure you'll think of something Hiccup." Astrid said as they were nearing their destination. "It will probably end up being something crazy or just plain stupid, but you'll think of something."

"Thanks for the confidence Astrid." Hiccup dryly mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

The three made it to the High School and proceeded to their lockers. Astrid's locker was located on the other side of the building so she told them that she would see them at lunch. Hiccup had pulled his books out when Fishlegs nudged him. "It's now or never Hiccup." He pointed down the hall where Camicazi was talking to some other girls in the student council.

Hiccup sighed and sent a glare to Fishlegs. "Fine, but you're paying for my funeral." He grumbled and marched determinedly towards Camicazi. However with every step his determination began to falter.

"Ehhh....Morning Cami." Hiccup greeted but he was ignored. He then tapped her on her shoulder and Camicazi whirled around. Her blond hair slightly flaring. It didn't surprise Hiccup anymore. Andosian hair was alive and reacted to emotion although it didn't change color like their cousin species.

"What?!" Camicazi asked clearly annoyed.

"W....We need to talk." Hiccup tried to say in a determined voice.

"Egh, can't this wait?" Camicazi muttered and then frowned when she saw what Hiccup was wearing. "Didn't I say not to wear those outfits. It makes you look nerdy. I'd don't want to be seen with a nerd."

Hiccup bristled at this. How dare she insult his clothes. His parents had sent them these as presents when they went on their last expedition. Hiccup finally decided enough was enough. Screw broken bones, the bitch needed to be taken down a few pegs. "Well then if you don't want to be seen with a nerd then you're in luck. It's over between us Camicazi." He said loud enough to catch the attention of the students nearby. Camicazi would do the rest.

"YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!!" Camicazi yelled and the reaction didn't disappoint. Those in the hall and in the adjacent halls stopped to stare as Camicazi's hair flared straight up. "NO ONE BREAKS UP WITH ME!"

"Well then first time for everything." Hiccup said as he kept his head high. "I'm tired of you insulting me and treating me like I'm some errand boy for you and your friends. You threatened me to be your boyfriend yet you flirt with every hot guy you see. Somehow it wouldn't surprise me if after High School you end up being the cranky Religian cat lady on the block. Old and alone." The crowed oohed and aahed at this.

"Pfft" Camicazi huffed and then smirked. "Please, me old and alone. If you must know you were just convenient. I already got a real man on the side. He's a much better kisser than you."

Hiccup's brow twitched, they never even kissed but she's going that route by making him out as the awful boyfriend. He could already imagine what rumors she would spread. His entire social life would go down the drain. He had to think of something fast as those watching were already starting to whisper. High School gossip traveled fast and soon even the old man on the corner shop would know what happened and laugh at him. He saw Camicazi smirk and he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Honestly Camicazi, I happen to be a great kisser. My actual lover certainly enjoys our makeout sessions. No need to be jealous though since you never kissed me. You probably couldn't handle all of this." Hiccup said indicating to himself and the audience looked to Camicazi who clearly looked flustered.

"Ah! Like you have a lover!" Camicazi shouted.

"Oh but I do." Hiccup retorted and his brain mentally slapped himself to stop while he was ahead.

"Do not" Cami smirked.

"Do too" Hiccup shouted back and his brain mentally facepalmed; it was time for a vacation.

"Prove it." camicazi now said and the audience was watching captivated at what Hiccup would do next.

"I will!" Hiccup said without thinking and grabbed the nearest person, who had just been innocently walking by, and dipped said person before planting a firm passionate kiss on the lips.

The crowd gasped and Camicazi let out a shriek. Hiccup had finally looked up at who he had grabbed when his brain took a vacation to the Alpha Centauri system. He too lightly gasped and nearly dropped said person when he saw acid green eyes staring back at him in shock. He, and everyone else in school knew those eyes. They belonged to the one and only Talon Night. The biggest, baddest punk in school. The handsome Draconian was on the top of the High School food chain and the heartthrob of countless of girls, and he had just frenched kissed him. What surprised the crowd even more was when Talon grabbed the back of Hiccup's head and pressed their lips together once more, returning the kiss hungrily. Hiccup's mind short circuited and he faintly heard a 'thud' nearby. When he had to come up for air he saw that Camicazi had fainted right there in the hall.

--------------------

That morning started out as a normal day for Toothless, with his little sister waking him up by pouncing on him and clinging to his head.

"Get off of me you little monster." Toothless yelped as she stepped on his stomach. The little Draconian had just begun to learn how to use her wings and had been fluttering through the house every waking moment. Toothless was glad that he was past that stage. He pried his sister off of him and she happily zoomed off to who knows where.

Toothless got out of bed and stretched his black bat-like wings before folding them up again. He had learned long ago how to retract the wings so that he looked just like a human, with the exception of the black scales dotting his body here and there. He turned to look in the full length mirror and muttered when he daw his bed hair. His long waist length black hair was sticking up in each direction. It would be a pain to brush all the knots out but he was loath to cut it. Afterall he hoped to impress a certain someone.

He dressed in his usual style for school, a sleeveless muscle shirt along with black form fitting pants, a studded belt with chains dangling off on one side and his black combat boots.

He joined his parents for breakfast before meeting up with his friends, Stormfly, Hookfang, Meatlug and the twins Barf and Belch. They set off to school and Stormfly couldn't help but remark "Looking good today. Are you finally going to make your move?" She asked while suggestively wiggling her eyebrows.

"Egh... Stormfly, for the last time. As much as I want to he's already got a girlfriend. I definitely don't want to be the homewrecker." Toothless grumbled.

"Oh please Storm. Talon over here is too chicken to make a move even if the guy was single." Hookfang joked. "Heck, even his parents told him to make a move."

"Not helping Hookfang." Toothless grumbled. "And I told you not to call me Talon."

"But seriously. No one would guess that Berk High's resident punk and heartthrob would be so hesitant to make a move." Meatlug stated smugly. "You can't deny that we had to listen to you telling us how perfect your crush is."

"Yeah man. Shape up mr. Badass." Barf and Belch piped up.

"If I ever get the opportunity I'll do it." Toothless stated as they reached the school. He was happy that he only lived a few blocks away. As they entered the grounds heads turned. Girls were waving and guys were trying to get his attention, while others got out of the way. He hadn't earned the nickname Toothless for nothing.

The Draconians paid little heed to those wanting their attention. Toothless especially couldn't care less. He only had eyes for the cute nerd who was in most of his classes.

Draconians had a great sense of smell and he had caught a whiff of the boy's scent when in middle school, Hiccup, he later learned the guy's name, smelled like the forest, charcoal, whipped cream and blueberries. He immediately began crushing immediately much to his friends' amusement. His parents were ecstatic when they learned of this and told Toothless about the Draconian birds and bees, much to his embarrassment. Apparently Draconians could distinguish their one true mate by scent. It happened so rarely that his parents encouraged him to approach the boy. But Toothless was nervous and he couldn't do it. Then high school came and Hiccup got a girlfriend. Toothless didn't want to be the reason to split them apart.

There was some commotion in the halls as students were oohing and aahing.

"I wonder what is happening?" Meatlug said as she tried to see.

"I couldn't care less." Toothless huffed. "You can get the details later. You got like the biggest gossip network in the school. Besides I don't want to be late for AP Astrophysics."

"Fine spoil all my fun." Meatlug pouted as she tucked in her little fluttering wings.

"Come on let's just go." Toothless rolled his eyes at Meatlug's pout and started walking down the hall, intent on passing the commotion.

As he was passing he heard someone shout "I will!" before being roughly grabbed and then dipped. Toothless was about to protest when he was kissed passionately. His eyes widened as he recognized the scent as Hiccup's and his brain short circuited. He let himself be kissed. Hiccup broke the kiss and Toothless heard a gasp when he saw forest green eyes widen. 'It's now or never' Toothless' brain thought as it began operating again. Toothless grabbed the back of Hiccup's head and returned the kiss. He mentally clapped himself on the back as he heard Hiccup moan into the kiss. His fine tuned hearing picked up Stormfly's mutter of "Damn that's hot."

--------------------

Hiccup was in shock for the rest of the time. He walked dazed into the cafeteria where he was suddenly yanked to a table. When he looked up he was surrounded by Astrid, Heather, Fishlegs, Ruffnut and Tuffnut and girls ranging from freshmen to seniors.

"Is it true?! Is it true?!" Astrid shouted as she shook Hiccup by the collar.

"Is what true?" Hiccup asked meekly.

"That you planted one hell of a smooch on the hottest guy in the school." Came from under the table. Hiccup looked to where the voice had come from and raised a brow when he saw Snotlout and Dagur crouched under the wide table.

"What are you doing down there?" Hiccup asked perplexed.

"We didn't want to get trampled by those rabid girls." Dagur stated which earned him a kick from his sister.

"But seriously cuz. Spill the beans." Snotlout said eagerly.

"There's no need to." The twins now piped up as identical smirks crossed their faces. "We got it all on high definition video."

"WHAT?!" Everyone at the table shouted. Hiccup however for very different reasons. He was mortified as the twins played the video while the others squealed in excitement.

"So Hiccup are you two really an item?" Heather asked as all eyes turned back towards the now strawberry Hiccup.

"No NO No we're not." Hiccup quickly said. "It was just the stupid plan my mind came up with to break up with Camicazi and avoid injury."

"Well it worked." Astrid laughed. "Camicaze fainted."

"Are you two ever going to become an item?" Snotlout now asked.

"What.... No!! How can you even think that?!" Hiccup shouted embarrassed.

"Oh I totally ship you two now." One of the girls nearby squealed as others nodded.

"Hiccup you aren't afraid of your parents finding out you like guys right?" Astrid now asked.

"What no! You know the whole bigotry thing was taken care of a century ago. Humanity has become really tolerant. You'd have to be with so many different alien cultures now living on the planet." Hiccup quickly said. "And I'm not actually gay."

"Bi then" One of the girls chirped up while another corrected her by saying "I think you mean Pan."

"I thought that was Polysexual?" Another girl piped up.

"Oh my Thor!" Hiccup now shouted as he wanted to crawl into a deep dark hole. "Are you all seriously discussing this?"

"Then why not get together with Talon?" Ruffnut now asked as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Have you seen me?!" Hiccup now said gesturing to himself. "Why would one of the hottest guys in school go out with a nerd like me?!"

"Because you're cute and fluffy?" Dagur interjected.

"Yes so fluffy!" Heather agreed.

"Oh Thor" Hiccup muttered.

"Besides, Talon did kiss you back." Astrid now said as she was replaying the video. "So he might really like you."

Hiccup's blush intensified as he remembered that.

"So do you think he's cute?" Another girl asked.

"Yes" Hiccup said absentmindedly before quickly changing it to "NO!" but the damage had already been done.

"But you definitely think he's hot? And you wouldn't mind dating him?" Another now asked as the girls crowded around. Hiccup's blush was all they needed to answer their question.

Mischievous smirks crossed the faces of many of the girls and Hiccup let out an audible gulp. He did not like the looks that he was getting from this group.

"Don't worry Hiccup. Leave everything to us." Astrid said as her eyes twinkled. Hiccup's brain was in overdrive. All he could think was 'What the hell have I got myself into.'

-----------------

"Toothless..."

"Toothless...." Hookfang called out again as he waved a hand in front of his friend's eyes. The Night Fury Draconian had been absentmindedly pricking his food without eating it and Hookfang was getting annoyed.

"Will you snap out of it?!" Was grumbled.

"Oh but he can't." Barf now piped up. "He got to kiss his crush!!"

"Well his crush kissed him first." Belch stated.

"Toothless didn't even have to make the first move!" Meatlug now said as she showed the others the video.

Toothless' eyes widened comically as Hookfang held the screen in front of his face. "Where the hell did you get that?!" He shouted.

"Oh from here and there" Meatlug mumbled. "It's been going over the entire school. "Your parents will probably have a copy by the end of the day."

"Oh fudge." Toothless whined as he slammed his head against the table.

"You got to kiss the guy you like so why are you acting like the world ended?" Stormfly asked as she rolled her eyes. "It was pretty damn hot too."

"What if he doesn't like me!!" Toothless now wailed. "What if everything's ruined!!"

"Don't be such a drama queen." Meatlug chirped. "You could start by actually talking to him and asking him out for a cup of coffee or something."

"How am I supposed to talk to him?" Toothless asked as his head remained against the table.

"The same way you kissed him" Stormfly now muttered. "You turn off that brain of yours."

"If you can stare at his behind all day." Belch said.

"Then you can certainly march up to him now that he's single." Barf muttered.

"AND ASK HIM OUT!!" They bout said in unison.

"Why must all of you gang up on me?1" Toothless huffed as he send his friends a glare. He didn't notice Astrid approach Stormfly and them exchanging some hushed words.

"Because you make it so easy." Hookfang muttered as Stormfly then spoke. "I've got something that might help. Follow me." she said yanking Toothless out of his seat.

"Fine fine." Toothless mumbled.

"Should we be worried?" Hookfang asked facing the others as Toothless and Stormfly left.

"Nah" Meatlug said as Astrid gave her a thumbs up from a table not so far away. "Just let them do what's needed."

Meanwhile Stormfly had grabbed Toothless' arm and was dragging him to a supply closet. "Stormfly what is it you want to show me?" Toothless asked.

"Oh you'll see." Stormfly said as she used the keycard that Astrid had slipped her. She quickly yanked the door open and pushed Toothless into the dark supply closet. With a click the door closed and Toothless desperately banged against it while shouting "STORMFLY WHAT THE DEVIL!! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW?!"

"Shouting won't work." came from behind Toothless and he stiffened when he smelled a familiar scent.

"W..what do you mean shouting won't work?" Toothless asked as he turned around and spotted Hiccup, with his enhanced eyesight, sitting on a stool in the dark. He was glad that he managed to say that without stuttering.

"I tried that already when a horde of girls locked me in here." Hiccup mumbled. "So....eh.... I'm Hiccup by the way."

"Talon but please call me Toothless. So...eh... any idea why we're locked in here?"

"Probably because those girls want us to start dating." Hiccup whispered but Toothless still caught it. He was suddenly glad for the darkness as it hid the intense blush that must have been covering his face now.

Toothless took a deep breath. It was now or never he guessed. "I... eh... would actually like that." He said and watched as Hiccup's eyes snapped up in astonishment. "T..That is if you want to."

"I...Eh..I...." Hiccup stuttered and then he whispered to himself not knowing that Toothless could hear him. "Why would someone so hot want to date a guy like me?"

Toothless' eyebrows shot up and he came closer to Hiccup. "Well why wouldn't I?" He asked and Hiccup nearly fell off the stool he was sitting on when Toothless whispered that in his ear.

Outside a mob of girls were eagerly waiting. "Nice going Astrid." Stormfly said as they high-fived. "Who knew you would take the old saying 'Coming out of the closet' so literally."

----The End----   

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