The next two weeks were a blur. If I wasn't sitting an exam that day, I was in my room studying. I was really grinding for those grades, working hard every night to ensure I did well. I even opted to stay at Mum's house over the weekend, rather than going to Daxx's. I would rather not revive a certain unwelcome visitor to my balcony right now. 

I felt pretty confident coming out my exams, in a non-cocky way- I had definitely smashed them. They were only mocks, but if they were any indication of how the real thing would go, I would be fine. That gave me hope, an end to the torture of school in sight.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror, my school football team uniform on. It felt odd to be back in it after five weeks of not playing. I had decided to join again, purely just for the scholarship money. Plus, Mum and mama Daxx didn't raise no bitch. I wasn't going to stunt my own personal growth just to avoid facing the idiots on the team. Sure, I'd avoid them before and after the games, but I wanted to play football and so I will.

I left the bathrooms and headed to the playing fields, spotting the team already out doing drills with coach. Against my own will, my eyes zeroed in on Jimmy. He had a sheen of sweat on his forehead already, glistening in the sun. I noticed he had changed his hair- it was in slim, neat braids now. It was very different from his usual hairstyle, but I really liked it on him. His stubble suited him too. I sighed, shaking those thoughts out of my head. Stop it.

I jogged over to the group and coach gave me a nod, silently watching me join in the drills. My presence rewarded me with several groans and glares from my teammates, but I ignored them. I was more than ready to work my body hard after my five week hiatus. At first, I felt stiff; it was hard to keep up. My ribs had recovered, but lounging around for so long meant I was quickly out of breath. Coach noticed this and sent me to run laps while the other practiced. Stamina was just as important as skill. If you get tired, you get sloppy.

It felt good to push my body, my lungs aching as I ran. I could sense eyes trained on me, but I didn't bother looking- it would be a bad thing either way. Either it was one of the guys glaring, or it was Jimmy watching me. I didn't know which one was worse. I didn't hate Jimmy anymore- don't get me wrong- I just don't want to get caught up in emotions, just to be hurt when he withdraws. He clearly has a lot going on and he needs to work through that before I get myself involved. 

Coach blew his whistle and I ran up to him- alongside the other guys- as he set up a game of five a side. He chose Jimmy as one team captain and a meathead as another. Obviously I was chosen last, being put on the meathead's team. I didn't even look at Jimmy, but I knew he felt bad about it. Clearly he didn't want anyone to suspect anything. That's fine. I didn't expect anything from him, anyway.

We all got into position and I did some quick stretches, ready to kick ass. They didn't want me here, but I was going to prove to them that I could play better than all of them combined. I deserve to be here more than any of them.

 The whistle blew and I ran towards the ball, receiving it from the meat head. I dribbled past the other team and sprinted to the other end of the pitch, passing it to my team mate as I ran through their defence. He passed it back to me and I continued running, dodging around players. Somebody tried to tackle me, but I stepped aside, letting my foot swing back and pelting the ball towards the goal.

I looked up and Jimmy jumped to stop the ball from going into the goal, his hands outstretched desperately. He missed it by an inch and the ball flew into the back of the net, making my team cheer. They were cheering for the guy who passed it to me, however, not for me. They were acting as if he scored the goal. I shrugged it off. Sore losers. I ran towards the goal to collect the ball and Jimmy made eye contact with me, a million emotions passing through his eyes as I took the ball from him.

"I haven't seen you at Daxx's, I..." He started to say.

I didn't let him finish, turning around to run back to the centre. If they see him talking to me, they'll give him shit for it in the changing rooms. Besides, I wish he hadn't told me he'd noticed I'd been gone. I was hoping he'd make it a bit easier for me. Now that I knew he had noticed, I knew he had been looking out for me and that made my stomach flip. The hope he just gave me stung bitterly, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. 

We played the rest of the match and I absolutely killed it. My team won, clearly because of my determined effort. They were pretending they had done anything to contribute, dismissing my efforts to the win. Coach even patted me on the back as I ran past, giving me silent praise. By the time practice was over, my lungs were burning and my calves were in pain. Going that hard after a long time off may have been a mistake, but I didn't have any regrets. We gathered around Coach at the end, red in the faces.

"I know a lot of you have been looking forward to football camp next week, but I must remind you, this is not an opportunity to get drunk and act stupid. It is a training camp before some of the biggest matches this year. Come ready to train, not ready to drink. That's all. Hit the showers."

Everyone ran off, but Coach called me over to talk.

"I know this might be hard for you to attend, but I expect you there. No special treatment." Coach told me matter of factly, his stare intense.

He handed me a letter and walked off towards school. I dropped to the floor, still red in the face and started to read it over. It was, as he said, a football training camp. It was only for two nights, but the thought of spending three consecutive days with nobody but the football team made my mouth dry. I groaned, falling back on the grass.

My lungs were burning and I couldn't bring myself to get off the floor just yet. I looked up at the clouds above and tried to make out shapes as I calmed myself down. School was coming to a close. It was a weird feeling, to know that life as you know it will change drastically soon. I won't see Angel, Mum, Daxx or Connor every week. Mary won't give me compliments every time I see her.

I thought about the positives. I wouldn't have to run or hide in the toilets every day at school. I could play on a football team that actually respected me. Maybe I would get a romantic partner. Felix had introduced me to a whole world; I was no longer scared of parties and socialising. I felt like I could open up to people, let them see the real me. That's one thing that made tears swell in my eyes.

I would be leaving Felix behind. I frowned at that. Even though we had only known each other for like a month and a half, we had grown inseparable. We texted every day and hung out pretty often. I enjoyed working with him, since it was pretty empty a lot of the time we mostly just talked. He was the reason I had done so much growth and improved my relationships and social skills. I would miss him. Would he visit me? I hope we don't grow apart.

I was deep in thought when a shadow blocked my view of the sun.My breath caught for a second, how dumb could I be? Laying in the school field without a care, as if the goons couldn't find me here. As my eyes adjusted, I made out who the figure was.

"I was waiting by your car, came to find you." Felix grinned down at me, flopping beside me.

He laid down, staring up at the sky with me. I relaxed again.

"If I move away for University, we'll stay besties, right?" I asked, not daring to look away from the sky.

"Are you joking?" Felix laughed, shoving me lightly, "You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm crashing your dorms looking for cute guys this time. I want a guy better than Will, though."

I laughed at that and smiled. I feel like everything had finally come together. I was pretty at peace.

"I've decided to study maths." I told Felix, looking over at his face.

"Ew. Why?" He joked.

"I wanna become a maths teacher."

I laid my head on Felix's lap and he grinned down at me. I smiled back up at him dopily and he snorted, saying I looked like a tomato. I laughed at that. I remembered the letter and passed it to him silently, pulling a face. He scanned the contents and shook his head.

"You're not crazy enough to actually go on this, right?" He laughed, dropping the piece of paper.

"Coach says I have to. Need to the scholarship money so I can't upset him. He gives my reference." I shrugged, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him.

"You're royally screwed." He shook his head, "Great time to face your demons before you leave, I guess?"

"That's one way of looking at it." I laughed, "The other is that I'm giving my demons one last opportunity to drag my ass to hell."

"At least you'll have a cute ass. You'll go kicking and screaming."

I scoffed at that, swatting his arm. However, he was right about one thing: I certainly will go kicking and screaming.