Due to Daxx's excessive worrying, he told me that I had to be bedridden for at least the next week. 

Jimmy had left pretty quickly after Daxx got here, not wanting to get in the way when my whole family were worried about me. They had been fussing over me all evening. Angel and Mum had came to visit with Mary, checking up on me too. Mum brought me my favourite food, but I wrinkled my nose at the sight. I didn't have much of an appetite at the moment.

They were all super shocked that something like this would happen in our sleepy area of town, let alone on school property. Mum was worried sick. I felt bad lying to them, of course I did, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them all the truth- not now that I was so deep into the lie. Hell, the police had even been lied to. The consequences of that alone were too much to even consider. 

I had texted Felix, telling him the truth and he was incredibly worried. He said he would come see me tomorrow, to keep me company and get the full story. I felt bad he was going to be ditching lectures, but I honestly do need somebody to talk about this to. He said he'd told Will what happened, but I hadn't heard from him. I bit my lip every time I thought about it. I don't think he cared.

It was midnight right now, but I couldn't sleep. My ribs were throbbing and my eye had swollen a bit. I slowly made my way to the bathroom, groaning in pain as I went. Apparently it was good to try to stand up occasionally while my ribs were healing, but it felt horrible. I made my way back to my room and slid my balcony door open, going to stand out there for some air.

I leant against the rail and looked straight down. My thoughts were a bit dark, despite me trying to suppress them. I couldn't stop thinking about the feet and fists pounding into me today, their hatred for me leaking out of every possible pore as they attacked me. It was peaceful at night. The wind whipped against my bare chest, sending a shiver down my spine, but it was refreshing. It felt nice to just be alone with my thoughts, everything quiet. Nobody looking at me, worrying about me, hating me.

I can understand why Daxx used to go out at night with Connor. We were forbidden from ever doing it, because of what happened. Not that I was in any shape to shimmy over the balcony and down the tree at the moment anyway. I would have quite liked to have explored the city at night, experience a different side to it. Obviously I wouldn't though- I couldn't do that to my Mum. Plus, Connor would murder me. He still went on about that day Daxx was admitted to the hospital- how his heart shattered. 

I was torn out of my thoughts by a shadowy figure walking up the hill. I watched them draw closer and stop outside my house. We were clearly looking straight at each other, but I couldn't make out who it was. I considered the possibility of a very bold murderer or robber, but I had a pretty good idea of who it actually was. 

"Can I come up?" They whisper-yelled into the dark, confirming my guess of who the shadowy figure was.

"Jimmy?" I asked, uncomfortable and slightly shocked, "What are you doing here?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he made his way to one of the trees next to my balcony and jumped for a branch, pulling himself up onto it. I was slightly impressed. I had tried that once, but I didn't have the upper body strength. In fact, it had ended with me on my ass. A rather large bruise had appeared not long after, reminding me of how weak I was every time I sat down.

Jimmy balanced along the branch carefully and skilfully jumped onto the balcony ledge. He hopped over the barrier and I could see his face clearly now. He looked just as rough as earlier, if not rougher. The bags under his eyes seemed to have grown. I blinked in surprise- why the hell was Jimmy Wellot on my balcony? 

"What are you doing out of bed?" He asked, ushering me back inside.

I scrunched up my eyebrows, making my way back to bed. I laid down, propping myself up with pillows and looking at him expectantly. He looked around before kicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable in the chair by my bedside. I looked at him, surveying his every move. It wasn't like I expected anything bad to happen, I just didn't trust him.

"I came to check on you. I feel responsible." He shrugged, studying my room, "I like your room. Didn't notice it earlier; bit preoccupied."

My room was pretty minimal. I didn't have many hobbies, or obsessive interests. My room reflected that, the only noticeable feature being my large wall of records. I kept them here, rather than at my mums, because Daxx and Connor had gifted me a great number of them. Plus, Mum didn't exactly like my music taste. Too much screaming and electric guitar for her. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, snapping out of thoughts of my room. Was I living in dreamland? Maybe the blow to my head earlier was making me imagine things. Jimmy Wellot and I had barely exchanged more than a dozen words between each other in the last ten years, before these two weeks at least. All of a sudden he's checking up on me, just because I got the shit kicked out of me? 

"You didn't answer my question."

"Yes I did... I came to check on you."

"No, I mean my question from earlier."

"No clue what you're on about. Is lover boy worried about you?" He questioned, scanning over my bruised body.

I frowned. Will hadn't texted me. He might have just been busy though, or unsure what to say. He could message me tomorrow. Plus, why the hell did Jimmy care? I had a good suspicion as to why, but I didn't want to make him freak out when he was blocking my bedroom door and the only other exit is a balcony. 

"I'll take that as a no, then." Jimmy shook his head, a smug smile on his lips.

"Don't act as if you're hero of the hour." I snapped.

His startled expression made me regret saying that. I couldn't control the anger I felt towards others sometimes. I shook my head, forget feeling sorry. I had every right to be angry at him. He caused this, even if he does regret it now. He's had ten years of missed opportunities to say sorry, to regret it or to do something about it. It's all entirely too convenient that he chose our senior year to say sorry. The room was silent.

"I really am sorry. If I could change it, I would. I really didn't know they were being that hard on you. I thought it was just pushing around and name calling- stuff you could handle."

I scoffed audibly, making him cringe. 

"Oh, that makes it okay does it? You thought it was just light bullying?"

Jimmy went quiet at that and dragged his hand down his face, looking over me once again with sorrowful eyes. Maybe I was being too harsh on him. He had cared enough to come check on me and he had stopped the attack. I was incredibly conflicted. I sighed, leaning back onto the pillows.

"It's fine. Just forget about it. I'm fine." I told him, "You should just leave, forget about it. I've handled it by myself for this long."

"You aren't fine." He snapped, "It's my fault. I take full blame. I've hated myself ever since that day."

"Hated yourself for what you did or what you are?" I joked lightly, touching a sensitive area.

Jimmy let out a bitter laugh and shrugged. We settled into another silence and I looked over Jimmy. Despite looking worn out, he was undeniably attractive. His features were incredibly pronounced, his jawline sharp enough to cut. His eyebrows were curved into a neat, dark arch that made him permanently look smug or cocky. His full lips looked soft, too. 

No wonder he has a new girl every time I see him. I'm pretty sure that he could convert a nun with just a wink and a smile. However, a smile seemed to be a rarity at the moment. If he wasn't angry, he looked sad- even when he was with his friends. Not that I was looking...

"Would you have told anyone what I did, if I hadn't said anything?" Jimmy suddenly asked, referring to the infamous birthday party incident.

I shook my head. I wouldn't have done that to him. Even back then, I knew kids were mean. Besides, who would I have told? I had no friends, other than Daxx. Plus, I'm not even sure if I knew what it meant. I had always known Daxx was gay, so I thought it was normal. Daxx was my main male role model, after all. Jimmy sighed dramatically, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry." He stated, for what now seemed like the millionth time.

"The night of the party, the other day, what was going on? What made you like that?" I asked, hesitantly.

He seemed pensive for a second, reluctant to tell me. I had only asked because I was so curious- since it happened I couldn't stop thinking about how vulnerable he looked. He seemed desperate for somebody to tell him it was going to be fine, and for me to forgive him.

"Seeing you with a guy who isn't me."

That came like a smack in the face. I was still processing it when he abruptly stood up. He slipped his shoes back on and headed across the room, sliding the balcony door back open. I tried calling his name to get him to stay, but he was gone in a flash. I stared at the balcony door for a good five minutes, trying to understand what had just happened.

I knew he liked me! My intuition really is spot on. I mean, why else would he have cared so much about who's hoodie I was wearing and whether Will had texted me or not. I felt smug at being right, but it was mixed with another emotion I couldn't identify. I don't know whether I'm happy about this or not. I mean, sure he's hot, but he's been a dick to me pretty much since we were five. Today's the only exception. I understand he's conflicted with himself, but is that really an excuse to be the cause for ten years worth of hell?

I laid down fully in bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about him.

He was so back and forth with his emotions. One moment he was trying to open up, the next he was cold again. It wouldn't surprise me if he was back to his usual self next week. Jimmy has problems of his own he needs to sort out. I didn't want to get involved. I wouldn't get involved. 

If the little smile playing on my lips was any indicator, my heart seemed to be a traitor to my brain.