Walking onto the pitch for football practice, I was the only one already out here. Dressed already because I wouldn't dare change in the changing rooms in school. I spend a lot of the school day locked in a toilet stall for various reasons.

I had actually tried changing in the proper place once and everyone had stood and gawked at me. Afterwards, I heard whispers of guys teasing each other that I was 'looking'. As if they weren't all the ones staring at me. Hypocrites. As if I'd be attracted to any of those goons; their packages are probably the same size as their brain.

Coach sent me a solemn nod and I nodded back. We have a weird relationship. I could tell he didn't like me in the slightest- like many of my team members- but he recognises my skill, so he allows me to play. However, he doesn't do much to stop the comments on the field, so it's not that helpful. I feel so tired of the whole thing. I may as well quit at this point; take footie up again in University when I'm not at risk of being pulverised by my own team.

I did some stretches to get myself ready before I ran a lap around the field. As a striker, I need to work on my endurance levels, especially after some time off. I was only half way around the field when I suddenly found myself tumbling to the ground- a goon had tripped me while I was running past. My legs were coated in mud and my fresh, white football kit was now covered in grass stains.

I felt anger bubble inside of me, but I tried to push it down. I kept reminding myself that it wasn't worth it and that I had been dealing with this sort of thing for years. I took deep breaths, my anger barely keeping at bay.

"We don't want you on our team. Fuck off with your boyfriend, Felix." He sneered, turning around to walk back to his friends.

I couldn't keep my anger at bay this time. I felt like ripping his head off for talking to me like that regardless. He had been stupid involving Felix in this because it made me snap. I leapt up with a war cry, tackling the gloating oaf from behind. He fell to the floor with a thud and I started kicking him with all of my power. I was fuming. Enraged. He was screaming at me to get off of him, but all I could see was red. They'd put me through hell for long enough.

"Not so strong now are you?" I screeched, my cleated foot stamping on his body.

I must have looked feral because I certainly felt wild. Unchained.

By the time the other goons got me off of him, the guy was covered in blood and muddy footprints. My fists were bloody too, but I didn't notice the stinging sensation until the angry haze lifted. Then I realised what I'd done. I was definitely going to get kicked off the team for this. Not to mention, I had definitely escalated the entire situation. I'd probably jumped after school and beat to a bloody pulp. Fuck.

I looked around and saw one of the guys holding me back was Jimmy Wellot. I shrugged him off and stormed across the football field, much to the Coaches protest. I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to get out of there. My skin was still burning hot with anger, my cheeks flushed. My heart was pounding in my ears; adrenaline pumping through my veins. I grabbed my stuff and headed to my car, throwing it in and locking the doors after me. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them tried to rip the door off of my car after the stunt I just pulled.

I pulled out my phone and rang Felix.

"Hello?" Felix's confused voice rang through, "I thought we weren't meeting for another hour."

"Uh, what I was doing was cancelled. Are you free now?"I asked, my voice wobbling a bit. I bit my lip nervously.

"Uhm..." I've messed it up, haven't I? "Yeah sure, but I'm at my dorm right now."

"I can pick you up? What's your address?" I asked, excitedly punching his response into my google maps, "See you soon."

I felt like a little kid again, excitement flooding through my veins. I was practically bouncing in my seat by the time I pulled up outside the university dorms, shooting a text to Felix to let him know I was outside. I threw my dirty gym bag to the backseat and brushed the seat off, changing the radio station to something more upbeat as I waited.

I saw him walking across the green and I waved at him, leaning across and opening the door so that he could climb in. He slid into the car and immediately gasped, reaching for my hand. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, before I saw what he was cooing over. My knuckles looked like a still from a horror movie, covered in crusted blood and the skin splitting.

"Are you okay? Why are they bleeding so much?" He frowned, inspecting them.

"It's not all my blood." I offered meekly.

His expression darkened and he seemed to go deep into thought, still holding my hands and inspecting the damage.

"We need to talk. Know anywhere quiet we can do that?" He asked gently.

Nodding slowly, I put the car into gear and pulled off. I drove quietly to the hillside I visited the other day; it was getting pretty dark by now so it would have a good view. The only sound between us was the radio blaring some song out, but Felix absentmindedly reached over and turned it down. It wasn't awkward silence, more pensive. I pulled up to my usual spot and switched the engine off.

"We can either sit on the bonnet or stay in here?" I offered.

"This is so cool! Look at the view..." Felix gasped, jumping out of the car and going to the edge, "Scary drop though."

I stilled at that. I had never thought of the drop as scary. Huh.

"I'm sorry for being so cold towards you the other day. I was just in a really bad mood." I tried to explain, feeling bad for being so completely closed off when I didn't even know him.

"It's all good. It seems like you're really going through some stuff right now. I thought you could use a vent."

I nodded and jumped up onto the bonnet next to him, staring out across the city.

"So, you're in University?" I asked the obvious.

"Yep! Studying English Literature. Loving it so far. Are you in Uni? Going?"

"I'm going to uni in September. I'm finishing school soon, but I don't know what I want to study just yet. I just want to get away- I know that much." I shrugged, folding my arms around my knees.

"Want to tell me what's been going on?" Felix asked gently, gesturing to my bloody hands.

"I've never spoken to anyone about this." My voice cracked as I said it, looking anywhere but at Felix.

"People say it's easiest to open up to people who barely know you." Felix offered softly, "Trust me: I'm not going to judge you. Sure, I'm an open book now, but I wasn't always this way. Best thing I ever did was open up about myself to somebody else."

I thought about that. It was so hard to talk to Angel about it because she was practically flawless; I felt like she couldn't possibly relate to me. I couldn't tell Connor, Mum or Daxx because I couldn't stand to put that kind of pressure on them or have them look at me differently and feel like it's their fault because I didn't tell them sooner. I didn't know Felix. He didn't know anyone I know. There seemed to be no consequences to telling him.

"For the last ten years I've been ostracised, demonised and victimised, to put it simply. Something happened at a birthday party when I was seven that just ruined everything for me. In a small town like this, if you fall out of favour there's just no coming back. People at school avoid me or mercilessly bully me. Even my own twin doesn't look at me twice on school grounds. Today I just lost my cool and one of them said something, so I went for them..."

Felix just sat and listened. He didn't look at me like I was pathetic. Even when tears began to brim at my eyes, he just listened to me and encouraged me to go on. By the time I was finished, I was such a mess that I hadn't even noticed he had taken hold of my hand.

"That's horrible of them to do." Felix said sincerely, "I'm so sorry you've had to struggle through this alone. Do you want a hug?"

My lip quivered at this and I nodded, Felix scooting closer and wrapping me in a hug. He smelt like flowers and I started to bawl years of pent up frustration, fear and self-hatred into his Uni sweatshirt. He held me tight until I calmed down and I wiped my tears away, feeling as if a heavy load had been lifted from my chest.

"Feel better?" He asked, his arm still around me comfortingly, "Does that mean I'm your best friend?"

I laughed at that and nodded. We're friends now. That made a smile play on my lips as he started telling me about university, that nobody cared if you liked women, men, both, neither or anything in between. That made me a little hopeful that things would get better once I was out of that shit hole called school.

"What happened at that party, anyway?" Felix asked, leaning against my windscreen.

"I'll tell you another day. Already been through a rollercoaster of emotions today." I joked, "Enough about me. What about you?"

"My high school sweetheart wasn't a good guy." Felix shrugged, "Best thing I ever did was leave that fucker. Don't worry about me though, I've aired my demons."

"Well... Aren't we the messed up pair?" I joked, making Felix laugh too.

"This has been good." Felix stated, turning to look at me with a goofy grin.

"Therapeutic." I agreed, turning to face him too.

"We need to make hanging out a very regular thing." He extended his hand out to me and I shook it exaggeratedly, sending him a goofy smile of my own, "Hungry?"

"Starving."

We piled back into the car and I drove us back into town, heading towards work to grab some food since we both got a discount there. Between the two of us, we ordered a feast. We sat in the car park in my car, telling each other about ourselves and eating. I hadn't laughed this much in... Well, forever.

It felt so good to not be worrying about everything that usually plagues my mind. I didn't have to worry about hiding things because he knew everything; I could relax and just be me.

"You'll never guess what happened to me today." I suddenly exclaimed, already laughing at the memory, "I was in the bathroom stall and this couple thought the bathroom was empty. So they start moaning and stuff, about to have sex, and I just cough to make them stop. I thought they walked away but when I came out, the guy was still there. I had to leave the bathroom, both of us knowing I'd heard him moaning."

Felix was in hysterics, gasping for air through laughs. He was in disbelief that it could actually happen. I chuckled and cracked the window for some fresh air, looking at the time and raising my eyebrows. We had been hanging out for quite a few hours now.

"Gotta get home?" He asked, watching me look at the time from where he was comfortably sprawled out in his seat, his legs resting in my lap.

"I stay with my brothers a lot of the time- I told him I'd be out late tonight, so he's letting me stay at his place instead of my mums." I explained, "He was hospitalised when he was younger while out at night, so my mum's pretty anxious about us staying out. Daxx understands, so he lets us crash at his."

"That's pretty intense, it must have been scary." Felix frowned, sitting up a little.

"I was only a kid so I don't really remember it." I shrugged.

Felix yawned and I laughed, ruffling his hair.

"Somebody tired already? It's not even that late." I teased, pushing his legs off my lap, "I'll drop you back now, if you want?"

"Sure? I could walk." Felix offered, sitting up properly in his seat now that his legs weren't in my lap.

"Don't be silly." I laughed, turning the key in the ignition, "You just need to remind me where to go exactly."

"When am I seeing you next, then?" Felix asked with a bright grin, looking at me with warm eyes.

"Whenever you're free really, not like I have plans with other people." I joked.

"I'll text you? Wanna see you this week again though." He beamed, giving me a side hug.