I walked into McDonald's, scanning the room for the familiar mop of sandy hair.
Pidge said she had something to talk to me about, and honestly it worried me.

You can never tell what that mind of hers is up to.

I spot her by a window, and worked my way over to her.
I smiled at her when she looked my way amd was greeted with a shit eating grin and a pat of her hand to sit down.

"Is this your idea of a date?" I teased giving a chuckle.

She snorted " yeah no stupid. I'd never date you "

"Ouch"

"Suck it up McClain "

"Oh how formal"

She motioned for me to sit again " I'm here on business terms today Lance "

I nodded at sat acrosst from her, placing my elbows on the table I looked at her.

"What kind of business?"

"Well" she said, pushing her glasses up " I have a proposition to make"

"Here we go again "

" No seriously Lance. This time it's actually important "

I looked at her, trying to read her face. She just stared back with a stone cold glare, and raised her eyebrows in question at me.

I sighed " fine, what is it then?"

I could practically see the victory dancing in her eyes.

" well" She started " as we all know, you have been- well. How do I put this nicely"
She paused dramatically.
" Emotionally unstable and have withdrawn yourself completely for those who could help you get back on your feet. "

"WHAT!?" I blurted out " Hows that saying it nicely!"

"It's not, it's the truth though "

"Is not!"

" Is too"

I gave her a disgusted look.

"And I can prove it" she said.

I gave a flustered laugh " go ahead and try "

"Fine " she said grinning " First point of evidence is- you like to bury your emotions with work "

"Whats that got to do with anything?"

"No interrupting McClain "

I rolled my eyes.

"I'll explain more once I've made all my points, so just chill." Pidge said
" Second point- you try not to hang out with us anymore. You now you do, Don't get me wrong, but like I said before your purposefully keeping busy to stay away. "

"And?"

"Dont interrupt!"

"Sheesh "

"Third and most importantly- you spend way to much time, and I mean WAY to much time living in the past.
It's not healthy Lance.
And I know what its all about. "

"You do?"

"Yes Lance. That's why we're here."

I shook my head, and stood up from my seat
" oh no no, nope.  I already made it clear I don't want to talk about it."

"Then don't talk about it" she said, as she reached out for my arm. " write it down Lance.  Get it off your chest. It will help you alot more then you know. "

"Is that all huh?" I asked. " I try not to think about Pidge, writing down would be like reliving the most crippling time of my life."

" I know that Lance" she said.
" But- Hunk and I worry for you. It's been what- 3 years since it happened. We don't want to see you live like this for the rest of your life.
I know it's hard to move on, but you need to."

I gave a shrug" whatever, if it makes you guys happy I'll try to write it down."

Pidge looked at me and gave a sad smile. " Please try. If not for me and Hunk... try for Keith "

~~~~~

I shivered from the cold winter air as I got out of the  "old blue" Honda.
Fumbling for my trailers keys, I stumbled up the icy porch steps.

I barley even made it into the house before the girls ran up to me, their crises and meows of hunger pleading for me to feed them.

I smiled at them.

" Hows my baby girls?" I said to the cats, who rubbed against my legs.

Blue pushed against my out stretched hand, and I felt Red's head rubbing against my leg.

I carefully walked towards the kitchen, getting the cats their dinner.

Once they where fed, I grabbed an apple and plopped down in my office chair, staring at my computers black screen.

I fumbled it open up a new file under my Google Doc's, and stared at the keyboard.

I gave myself a reasuring nod " you've got this Lance "

I ever so slowly pressed the V on the keyboard.

" Nope,  nope no way " I stood up from the chair, backing away towards the door.

I threw my hands up, grabbing at my hair in frustration
"Ughhhhh what an I thinking!

Am I doing the right thing? Was Pidge right? Who am I kidding Pidge is always right "

I gave an exhale before forcing myself back into the chair.

" if not you Pidge and Hunk-" I whispered remembering Pidge's words.

" try for Keith "

I slowly glanced towards the window.

"Violet..." I whispered.

The darkness of the night threw a responding memory at me.
The familiar darkness of the cool of evening.
The window...

Then without running away this time, my hands flew acrosst the keys.

~~~

Violet.
Like the flower.
Or the pale color that most people love.

But for me, Violet means much more.

For me I see a dark Violet, a window, a sky shrouded in twinkling stars, and a boy by a tree.

Thats the last time I saw that boy.

Sometimes I feel like it's still that night.
Oh, how I wish I could forget that violet night.

I was in high school at the time. To most I was still an immature kid. But to me I felt more grown up then I had ever felt before.

I had friends, like every other teenager.
Bit no friend I ever had was as strange as Keith Kogane.

I first met him when Pidge invited him to hang out with us on "our " movie night.
For that, I hated him.
Movie night was for me ,Hunk , and Pidge only.

But because she insisted, he was allowed to come still.

He was a weird yet intriguing fellow.
And I guess that's why we ended up getting to know one another.

How he became one of my best friends.

He was a quiet person. Always was. And he was obsessed with dark clothes, chokers, MCR and knives.

Pidge said she thought he was emo, or something like that.

But for a good few weeks I was convinced that he was either a phantom, demon or an evil spirit. But that faded away the more we become friends.

Now that I'm looking back on these events, I can understand a little more.

I think the events that drove him to his actions started long before I met him. But it got much worse around the time I knew him.

Now that I know, I realize that he did what he knew had to be done. And he must have been scared. Couse I know I was .
The part of his story I witnessed started late one afternoon...

I was sitting on my bed, reading one of my sister mangas, when my door flew open, slamming against the wall.

I remember thinking it was Veronica, storming in to take back her manga, but it wasn't.

I looked up to see non other that Keith.
I looked at him in shock.

" Dude?" I exclaimed " What the heck happened to you!?"

He shrugged and gave me a blank look, and avoiding my question asked
" Can I stay here with you tonight?"

My first response was a short laugh. It didnt surprise me, he would usually spend the night over almost every weekend.
But never during the week.
Now that I realize, I should have been a little more concerned about that small detail.

"I guess, " I said giving him a wide smile.
" if- " I teased " you tell me what happened to you "

The expression on his face looked pinched at my words, but in a split second it went into a bright smile.
" ya know, the usual" he chuckled " I just got into a fight with some kids -thats all"

I raised my eyebrows in question. I saw him roll his eyes at me, giving a snort.

"Pluss, I don't want to go home looking like this, my Dad would probably kill me knowing I was fighting again."

"Fair enough bro" I laughed.

He laughed at my response, then looked at me and gave a nervous smile.
"I , uh- I forgot to bring anything though- sorry"

"No biggie " I said standing up. I sted down my sisters manga and walked over to my dresser.
" I think I have some of my brothers old clothes in her somewhere, the are to big for me still, but they might fit you better then any of my clothes. "

I pulled out a pair of green plaid pajama pants and an old hoddie and tossed them to Keith.

He grabbed them and walked into my room,closing the door behind him.

"Do you have any disinfectant?" He asked.

I looked at him questionablely " For what?"

He shifted his gaze to the window, then looked back at me.
" During the fight, I got a small cut, and I should probably clean it."

" oh yeah, do you need help "

"No!" Was his sudden answer." I mean,I'm good, but thanks for offering."

I nodded.

"It should be in the bathroom  under the sink to the left." I said.

"Thanks Lance" he said, taking the pajamas and headed towards the bathroom.

I waited for him.

The minutes went by. It must have been about an hour before he came back into my room.
I smiled towards him" Ready?"

"Hell yeah "

"Cool, ya know what to do"

We both smiled.

I stood up, and grabbed an extra blanket from my closet, tossing it to Keith.

He caught it and put it on my bed.
As he was getting the bed ready, I ran out of the room and down the hall.

I burst into Veronica's room, startling her from where she lay on her bed, talking on the phone.

"Need this - thanks!" I exclaimed as I  stole one of her many pillows .

I spun around and raced of back toward my room. My sisters upset calls sounds from her room.

When I got back to my room, I found Keith sprawled on my bed ,eyes closed and arms crossed behind his head.

"Comfy?" I asked.

"Maybe, one you give me that pillow." He replied, giving me a teasing smile.

I laughed as I threw it at his face.
We both started laughing, until I tried to launch over him to get on the other side of the bed.

My failure caused me to come crashing down on Keith with a squeak, and him a strangled " What the -"

The sudden weight if my fall caused him to loose his breath.
I heard him gasp for air, a low groan accompanied it.

"Sorry"

He struggled to regain his breath.
"No thats fine " he managed to squeak out.

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it.
And soon we both desended into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

I got off of him, and laued down next to him. Recovering the best for my laughter I said
" Dude you ok?"

He slowly sat up, giving a low chuckle
" yeah, I think "
He looked at me with a humorous smile" But why in the world did you think that was a good idea?"

I gave a snort " I didn't "

"So you knew you'd fall ?"

" No" I laugh " I didn't think"

He smiled at me " Yeah,I couldn't tell."

He pulled the loose blankets over us,laying down.

"Next time" he said" Please think first "

"Says the one who never thinks first " I chuckle.

And for that I got a pillow to the face.

Eventually, we went to sleep.
But I still can't remember, if I actually heard soft sobbing that night.

Now that I think of it again,I do believe he was crying.

And  for that ,I don't blame him.