The possibilities are endless, i wasn't sure if harry would get a ticket or the officer would ask me what the hell i was doing standing out of the sunroof during a storm, " if you get a ticket it's not my fault, you were the one who was speeding " lacing my arms around my chest as harry lets out a exaggerated scoff, leaning towards where i sit in the passenger seat to grab his registration out of the glovebox.

" says the one who was sticking her head out of the damn sunroof, if i go down, you're going down too sista' " he turns to the officer that waits by the window, gasping when he realizes who it is, " zayn, what're you doing here ?" harry asks, getting out of the car and pulling this so called zayn guy into a hug.

his registration on the driver's seat getting wet from the rain that comes in from the open window, this man really doesn't care about his car, i can't hear what they're saying because it's muffled from the sound of thunder, the two of them catch up as they stand in the rain, not caring that they're wetting their clothes, the leather jacket zayn wears with nothing underneath worries me, he doesn't wear the police uniform instead he has his badge clipped onto the waistband of his jeans

" it was nice seeing you again, you should stop by the church and see how good of a preacher i am " he flips his wet hair, but all it does is stick to his neck which makes zayn laugh.

zayn runs his hand through his hair, fingers tearing through the knotted waves, i can kind of see the tattoos that decorate his chest and some designs of ink on his hands, " i was there thursday, you didn't even show up haz, but there was this girl, couldn't take her eyes off f'me " he explains, hands moving with each word he said to add more accentuation to his words.

it was then that it clicked, this zayn guy must be that man hazel saw last thursday, " i was uh, busy, couldn't make it, but come sunday and i'll be there " harry tells him, pulling him into one last final hug before he takes a seat in the driver's seat, crumbling his registration in the process but not seeming to care, like always.

" and who's this harry, how come we haven't been properly introduced " zayn flashes me a grin, " m'zayn, and you are ?" he sticks his hand into the car for me to shake, and when my warm petite hand wraps around his wet cold one, his grip is firm.

" luna marie, and i honestly don't know why harry hasn't mentioned me yet " we let go of each others hand as we both turn to harry with our eyes formed into slits, the only thing he does is raise his hands in defense.

he turns to zayn, " you love to start shit don't you " he chuckles after, " i'll call you alright, see you sunday " with a farewell to me zayn leaves, and harry and i watch as his cop car drives off, harry turns the key in the ignition making the car come to life, driving off with his eyes only on the road.

" i'm in the mood for some steak n' shake, but i'm fine with getting whatever you want "

i look at him, turning in my seat fully, " harry we just ate like less than an hour ago, what are you a vacuum cleaner? " i laugh, harry pouts pretending to be offended by my comment.

" first of all, i only want a shake, and second of all that was really rude of you to say, and i will expect an apology from you sooner or later " he says a-matter of factly, " so is it a yes or a no, my little marie ?" i mentally swoon at the new pet name he called me, but try not to show it.

pretending to think, i can see the way he's growing impatient, his eyes drifting from the road to me as i act like i'm deep in thought, " it's a yes from me " he grins contentedly, within a few minutes we pulled into the steak n' shake drive through.

-

laughing from some stupid joke harry told as he holds the front door open for me, milkshakes in hand, somewhere on the way home we traded, i told him that he needs to stop being scared and try mint chocolate chip for once, which soon made him give me a lecture on how good the birthday cake milkshakes are, which then lead to us trading and liking it.

harry closes the door behind us making sure to lock it as we went upstairs, " you should've seen your face when you heard the sirens, i've never seen someone so scared " he mocks me, following me into my room and taking a seat on my bed.

" imagine if you were in my position okay " i lean against my dresser, watching him as he gestures for me to continue as he leans against my headboard, legs wide open with white socks adorning his feet, sipping on my milkshake with ease.

i turn off my room light, grabbing my phone and turning on the flash to accentuate my face only in the now dark room, the only source of light rather than my phone was the moon seeping through my slightly opened blinds, allowing me to see the grin dancing on harry's lips.

" a small seventeen year old girl " i narrate in a lower octave trying my best to sound like the narrators in the movies, this only makes harry let out a loud laugh, mouth open and eyes squeezed shut, " standing out of the sunroof of a large black infiniti truck, rain covering her hair and clothes as the driver mr. harry styles "

i watch as he gets off of my bed, walking towards me and taking my phone out of my hands, bringing it to his face as my mouth hangs ajar, slightly mad but immensely amused by the way he talks, " a twenty eight year old, charming man, with curls that make any person look twice, and legs that even models look at with envy " i take the phone away from him and place it on my dresser, laughing at his too accurate description of himself.

" don't get too ahead of yourself there mr. styles " he gasps, placing his hand over his heart while pretending to be offended.

he walks closer, his hands behind his back much like that time in the kitchen, " you know what you owe me, luna ?" he tilts his head, and i can't think straight, i can feel his breath hitting my nose, the faint smell of mint from the milkshake hitting my senses, i shake my head no, not trusting myself to say anything.

" that apology, and i'm willing to do whatever i have to just to receive it, a little birdie told me that miss. adams here is quite ticklish " our chests flush together, his damp shirt meeting mine, harry was doing this purely for laughs, but oh did it feel much different for me, it felt like if there was that invisible rope again, and even though i enjoyed the feeling i hated it as well, because harry for sure didn't feel the same.

his hands come in contact with the sides of my stomach, and i try my best to push him away, running towards my bed with him right behind me, landing back first he hovers over me, his body keeping me positioned on the bed with no way out, hands roughly tickling me, " say you're sorry and i'll stop " i can't answer because of the continuous laughs that leave my lips, my feet moving in every direction as i attempt to push him off of me.

pinning my hands above my head he stops all of his movements, " apologize or i'm never speaking to you again " he sounds like a child as he hovers over me, one hand on my bed for support to hold himself up and the other holding my hands above my head, i can feel the way my shirt hikes up my stomach, " i'll do it, luna, i'm quite the expert at the silent treatment "

i let out a loud sigh, making sure to make my exhaustion evident, his face leans in closer to mine with his eyebrows raised as he waits for my apology and i kind of don't want to say sorry just so that he can stay close to me but i speak, " fine harry, you win, i'm sorry and i promise to never be mean to you again, happy ?"

grinning like a maniac he lets go of my hands but doesn't move from his position, knees near my waist as his chest is only a few inches above mine, " see?, that wasn't so hard was it ?" i mumble a no, feeling the way i start to fiddle with my fingers from the silence that overcomes us, we just stare, and i'm not quite sure what i'm looking for.

perhaps a sign that he wants me too, or even him admitting that i'm not the only one who feels this sudden urge to kiss him whenever  were alone or when the sun hits his lips and brings out the natural pink color of them more, i need something to know that i'm not driving myself insane over a man who looks at me like i'm some little girl, even though i am a little girl.

" i'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now, luna, " he admits, and i tell god that i owe him one mentally as i bring my hand to his face to caress his cheek, liking the way my heart flutters in my chest when he leans into my touch, letting me swipe my thumb across his skin.

even though his words say otherwise i can feel the way his face moves closer to mine from time to time, " do it harry, kiss me " i tell, not caring if i sound desperate or look like an idiot as i lay under him and beg for him to just press his lips against mine once.

he closes his eyes in frustration, trying his best to think about what he wants to do, and if he should do it and risk the relationship between him and my aunt, break the covenant that they hold together by the ring that's on his finger, but just for confirmation i sneak a peek at his finger, mentally grinning at the fact that the ring isn't wrapped securely around it.

i am so going to hell for all this, but am i willing to face that eternal punishment in order to share intimate moments with harry?, yes the fuck i am, harry's voice brings me back to reality, " i want to, luna, i really do, but i can't " he pauses, and i can see the pity that washes over his features once he sees the way my face has hurt written all over it.

" i simply can't do that to your aunt, or to god, i hate to say this but you're not worth it, not worth me losing an incredible wife to be and a perfect relationship with god, you're just not" it feels like someone just ripped my heart out of my chest, rejection hurts worse than anything i've ever felt in my life, and trust me i've had my mother tell me how she should of aborted me to my face, yet this hurts more.

as he pulls away from me i feel retarded, stupid for even hoping for him to feel the same way, for me holding onto some fake outcome of harry and i being together, and like the idiotic person that i am i can feel the way a tear slides down my cheek. i hated crying in front of people.

how stupid of me to mix his kindness with actual want, things that he would do out of pure generosity i thought was because that maybe deep down inside he looked at me the way that i looked at him, " i'm sorry, luna, i'm so sorry but it isn't even realistic, how would i look, a twenty eight year old man, messing around with a eighteen year old girl, i'd look pathetic "

even if this sounds crazy i felt as if i was talking to my father, another man who only cares how i will make them look, how i would break their perfect reputation, i was mad, not only pissed at myself, but harry for saving me from arguments with my father, and making me think that he was possibly different from everyone else in my life.

reality sucked, and as he stood in my doorway, trying his best to make me realize that him and i couldn't ever happen and would never work, i said something that i knew i would soon regret, " just leave harry, and it'd be better if we don't hang out or talk to each other anymore endless it's completely necessary " i could feel the way my chest heaved up and down from the sobs that left my mouth.

god, i'm such an idiot, " luna, i didn't mean it like that, we can still hang out and go eat ice cream a-" i cut him off with the lift of my hand, just looking at him hurts, it fucking hurts to want something you know you can never have.

" go, harry, save it for someone who cares " this time the roles are reversed, the hurt on his face is more than evident when he closed my room door with a harsh slam, and when i went under my covers and closed my eyes it was all i saw, realizing something for the second time that night, no matter how much i want to believe that i'm not alone, the painful reality comes and smacks me in the face, it doesn't make any difference of how much i try to sugar coat it, at the end of the day i have nobody, and the reason why it hurt so bad, is because i did care, i cared too much.

-

i'm not crying, you are.