ALL Jeth did was to continuously apologize to Jethan. His body unknowingly acted on its own and went all the way to greet Jethan—by knocking him down to the floor. "Sorry talaga."

The sudden increase in his hearbeat the moment he heard Jethan's voice, the way he ran towards the door zealously, the way he jumped towards him out of overflowing joy, and the way his tears fell when it was confirmed by his eyes that Jethan did not leave him.

He is a hopeless case.

"Tapos ka nang umiyak?" Jethan grinned at him making him more flustered than before. Of all the things that would add up to his embarrassment, ang pag-iyak pa habang nakapatong sa ibabaw nito.

How could he do such thing?

Mabilis siyang tumayo sa pagkakahiga sa ibabaw nito, "No, I did not cry. Namalikmata ka lang."

"Pero jokes aside, Sir, inisip mo bang umalis na ako at nalungkot ka dahil do'n?" Jethan asked him suspiciously with his two brows raised. "Hindi ko ugaling umalis nang hindi nagpapaalam nang harap-harapan."

"Why would you even ask such embarrassing question?" Hindi ito ang gustong ipakita ni Jeth kay Jethan. He just wanted him to learn about his story in silence, hindi para madescribe siya nito na isang crybaby.

How did it come to this?

"Let's come inside first. Baka may makakita pa sa atin dito and I would become a laughing stock." Nang makapasok sila ay hininaan kaagad ni Jeth ang volume ng speakers. Umupo silang dalawa sa iisang sofa sa harap ng isang glass table.

Ni hindi magawang tingnan ni Jeth sa mukha si Jethan dahil sa hiya, "You wanna eat first?"

"Ay 'di na, Sir. Uuwi na rin naman ako." With those words, Jeth become uneasy. "Pwede bang hindi ka muna umalis, Jethan?"

Nagtatakang napatingin sa kaniya si Jethan, but Jeth refused to face him, "You know, Jethan, my main purpose on having you with me today was to talk about something with you."

"Ako? Walang dadating na mga kasosyo mo?" Nakailang tango si Jeth habang nakatingin lang sa karaoke TV screen.

After a few sighs, Jeth faced Jethan and asked, "Naalala mo no'ng inaya kitang mag-tsaa kasama ko sa bahay?"

Tumango si Jethan dahil mas malinaw pa iyon sa tubig na umiinom nila. "I was just inviting you because I want to get even better."

"Ha? Better saan?" Jethan looked puzzled and focused his attention to Jeth even more as if he heard something interesting.

"The tea mom is making is a means to make me calm. Common knowledge na kung may kasama kang uminom and you'll have small talks with them and will eventually notice that the effect is even better than drinking it alone." Jeth explained but it is invalid at some point.

"Bakit naman ako, Sir? Pwede namang iba riyan." Lumikot ang mga ni Jethan at parang hindi mapakali sa kaniyang inuupuan.

And at that moment, Jeth already knew that Jethan thinks of him as a weirdo or better called a psychopath.

"Babae! Pwede ka maghanap ng mga babaeng kasama, 'yung mga sexy." Pagpumilit ni Jethan. So, he badly wants to go home? Or all of this are making him uncomfortable?

"You don't understand, Jethan. I cannot just get someone to talk with me about my personal matters while idly drinking tea." Jeth stated the truth, but it doesn't seem to explain everything.

Jethan looked into his eyes and impatiently asked, "Bakit ako nga?"

"The first time I met you, I felt warmth. Mas nangingibabaw ang komportableng init na iyon kaysa sa sakit na noon lang ay dinadaing ko. Hindi ko lang kaagad nakompirma iyon because I lost my consciousness. But by the time I opened my eyes at the hospital, I was immediately engulfed in the familiar warmth that I've been wishing for." What Jeth said is true.

Never in his entire life that he would thought that anyone beside his Mom would make him feel comfortable, happy, and safe.

Hindi ang kaniyang Mom ang bumungad sa kaniyang paningin pagkatapos niyang gumising sa pagkaka-aksidente so he should be sad, right? But he did not, he smiled and immediately flew away from the scene.

"All those years, I felt really empty inside. Alam mo ba iyong parang nabubuhay ka lang dahil humihinga ka pa at gumagana pa nang maayos ang katawan mo, hindi dahil gusto mo pang mabuhay? I worked hard and now I'm investing in everyone's business, pero I don't really understand what I am doing this for. Gusto ko bang mas yumaman pa o dahil sa pagta-trabaho lang naba-blangko ang isip ko?" Is he tearing up again?

Jeth looked up to stop his tears from leaking, "We're not struggling financially, pero why is Mom like that? I would often ask that question to myself when I was young. She was just overly suspicious of everything. Ni ang paghawak ng lapis ay kinatatakutan nito because she'd think that she might die in that simple event and maiiwan akong mag-isa. It took years for her to overcome that."

"Mabuti nalang at may iba na siyang pinagkakaabalahan. Her flower shop is making her happy. She's got suitors too that are eternally giving me headaches!" Jethan trembled when Jeth suddenly shouted.

"But at the end of the day, the two of us will remain the same; tahimik lang sa kwarto, nakatulala at nagtatanong sa Panginoon, why is this happening to me? Why am I like this?" Nilingon ni Jeth si Jethan, tahimik lang itong nakikinig, walang emosyon ang mukha.

"I've always imagined having a father. How it felt, how it looks like, mga ganoong mga bagay. Kung hindi ko pa nababanggit sa iyo, my Dad died two decades from now and I was born few days after his death." Napangiti nang mapait si Jeth, "And jeez, you two, have the same name."

"My mom, I haven't seen her genuinely smile hanggang ngayon. It felt really suffocating. Then, I grew up, 'di ko na namalayan, nahawa na rin pala ako sa kaniyang negativity."

"It's just some overdramatic story, 'no? But then, gaya nga ng nabanggit ko, Jethan, you brought a foreign feeling to me. It embraced me at ginawa akong alipin nito. I have never felt complete in my life, and when I found the last piece on you, it felt amazing, Jethan. And I really want to feel it again..." Nginitian ni Jeth si Jethan na matiim lang na nakikinig, "You truly are heaven-sent, Jethan. You are a miracle to me."

Hindi pa rin mababakasan ng emosyon ang mukha ni Jethan, "Bakit hindi kayong dalawa kumunsulta sa isang psychiatrist? Baka..."

"Baka kailangan na naming mag-move on?" Napakuyom si Jeth. Puro nalang ganiyan ang naririnig niya sa mga tao. Napakarami lang para sa mga taong sabihing ang mga katagang iyan dahil pa nila nararanasan ang mga nararanasan ni Jeth noon hanggang ngayon.

Kinuha ni Jeth ang mga kamay ni Jethan na nananahimik lang, "I even let that Denvin into our lives at baka may magbago, but there is none. If you had lost your father before you were even born, you would likely set a higher standard in finding a new father. Hindi iyon gano'n kasimple, Jethan. Hindi iyon simple."

Ibinalibag lang ni Jethan ang mga kamay niya na parang galit na galit, "So, ano, Sir? Gagawin mo akong tatay? Dadalhin mo ako sa bahay niyo at ipapakilala sa Mom mo dahil kapareho ko ng pangalan ang Dad mo? Grabe naman, mas matanda ka pa nga sa akin, Sir."

"No, that's too overboard?" He told him with a hint of asking na nagpatindi ng galit ni Jethan sa kaniya. "Aalis na lang ako rito, Sir."

"Hindi mo ba ako tutulungan, Jethan? Look at this face, matagal na akong hindi nakakatulog. Ngunit no'ng nakilala kita, hindi lang ako nakatulog, nakatulog pa ako nang mahimbing. I did not stare at the window at night and I did not have the time to ask about those questions." Of course, Jeth knew that it would not pique Jethan's interest. Nagda-drama lang siya para maawa ito.

"Hindi sa isinasawalang-bahala ko lang ang mga binanggit mo sa akin, Sir. Ngunit hindi kaya gawa-gawa mo lang iyan lahat. H'wag mo naman akong pag-tripan. Ampanget na nga nang buhay ko, dadagdagan mo pa. Ako nga, wala rin akong tatay; pareho lang tayo." Pagrereklamo ni Jethan.

"Try mong kumayod, Sir. Swerte mo nga at binigyan ka ng buhay ng Panginoon atsaka sigurado akong masaya ang tatay mo para sa iyo... para sa inyo ng Mom mo. Kaya h'wag mo na akong damayin pa." Dagdag nito na nagpataranta kay Jeth. He's bad with words and now it's making everything complicated.

"Kung gugustuhin mo, pwede kang gumawa ng sarili mong rules, Jethan. If you want money, I can give it to you. If your job is exhausting, I'll give you a job. I'll do everything just to make this warmth stay."

At 'yon na nga lumuhod na si Jeth at nagmakaawa, "Maawa ka naman sa 'kin, Jethan."

I'm giving him the best offer that I can give, Jethan would not be that heartless, right?
Tanong ni Jeth sa kaniyang isip.

Ibubuka na sana ni Jethan ang kaniyang bibig ngunit biglang tumunog ang cellphone niya. Kinuha ito ni Jethan mula sa kaniyang bulsa at sinagot habang si Jeth ay nakaluhod pa rin sa harapan nito.

Tahimik lang na nakikiramdam si Jeth sa kung sino mang tumawag rito. It would be bad if Jethan had girlfriend at ito ang dahilan kaya gustong-gusto na nitong umuwi.

Baka makasira pa ng relasyon si Jeth.

"Ano?! Si Nanay?!" Bukod sa pag-aalala para sa Nanay ni Jethan, nagawa pang magdiwang ni Jeth sa isip niya nang mapag-alamang hindi pala girlfriend nito ang tumawag.

"Sige, papunta na ako!" Mabilis na binuksan ni Jethan ang pinto at tumakbo na palabas na parang may bad news na narinig.

And with just a second, naiwan si Jeth, nakaluhod at lumuluha... nang mag-isa.

Oh God!
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