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Oh dear, oh HOW?! (Oneshot)

This story was requested by 'marine1324'. The original prompt belongs to 'Kimmay94'

---This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the How to train your dragon world, which is trademarked by DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. and originally written by Cressida Cowell, and I do not claim any ownership over them or make any money from them. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official storyline.

Oh dear, oh HOW?!

It was a day like any other on Berk, the Terrors were singing from the rooftops, the Nadders were preening in the square, Mildew was being his cranky self and the twins were blowing stuff up. Yes just a normal day on Berk, which means anything could happen.

"Get back here you two buffoons!!" Snotlout yelled as he chased the twins, who were madly cackling, with his mace. "How dare you put a squid in my pants!!"

Snotlout chased the twins through the square. They were heading in the direction of the blacksmith's stall. "Haha I got you now!" Snotlout said as caught up with the two menaces.

Toothless was lounging on his side in the sun not so far from the stall, where his rider currently was. The dragon's earplates twitched and he grumbled. Toothless looked up at the commotion which woke him and saw the twins and Snotlout coming in his direction.

Snotlout made a dash for the twins and jumped onto them, crashing into the ground with an 'oof' right in front of Toothless. The Night Fury became annoyed and growled at the three.

"Hey it's not my fault!" Snotlout defended and then pointed towards the twins. "They started it!"

"Did not!" Both Ruffnut and Tuffnut shouted back which caused Snotlout and the twins to end up in a fist match in front of a very annoyed and cranky dragon.

Gothi who had wanted to test a new powder was walking through the square when she came upon the fight. The old woman rolled her eyes and marched through the crowd, who were cheering because apparently Vikings will be Vikings, intend on stopping it.

For once Snotlout had the upper hand with the twins and he shouted triumphantly when he managed to push them back. "Snotlout! Snotlout! Oi! Oi! Oi!" He shouted.

The twins grunted as they fell onto Gothi who in her shock had let go of the bag of powder. The bag sailed through the air and its contents emptied over both Snotlout and Toothless.

"Hey what is this shiny stuff?" Snotlout asked as he wiped it from his hair. "Ah, who cares. I won. Who's the Viking!" He exclaimed and kissed his muscles.

Toothless was less amused. The dragon licked his paws and used those to wipe the powder off of his scales. He gave Snotlout and the twins an annoyed growl before heading into the stall for some attention from Hiccup, as Toothless passed he made sure that his tail hit Snotlout in the face.

Gothi frowned and proceeded to whack the twins on the head. She looked at both Toothless and Snotlout and was perplexed that the powder did nothing. She would be giving the shaman who sold it to her a stern talking too.

The following day on Berk, wasn't a day like any other. For once the Vikings weren't awoken by the singing Terrors, instead a high-pitched bloodcurdling scream echoed through the village. The Vikings raced outside, weapons at the ready, expecting to find an armada at their doorstep. Instead they looked perplexed when they found the source of the scream.

Before them stood a beautiful petite lass with black glossy hair reaching her waist. She was dressed in furs which appeared way too big for her frame and was currently busy screaming at the top of her lungs in panic as she clutched her head. They had never seen her before and hesitantly approached her as they wondered where she came from.

"Easy there lass." Sven said as he approached the girl. "Can you tell us what is going on and who you are?"

The girl whirled in the Vikings' direction and her eyes widened. She had not even heard them coming in her panic. "Sven it's me Snotlout!" She shouted.

This however caused the assembled Vikings to laugh loudly. "Oh lass that is a good one." Sven said as he guffawed.

"I'm serious! It is me Snotlout!! I went to bed and the next morning I woke up like.... Like THIS!" Snotlout said gesturing to his feminine figure. "My beautiful muscles are gone." Snotlout wailed as he gestured to his now thin arms. "WHYYYY!!!"

The Vikings looked at each other perplexed. They didn't know what to believe in this instance. It could just be the delusion of a crazy girl, but who in their right minds would want to impersonate Snotlout, they all thought.

"I think we need to get the Chief for this matter." Mulch suggested.

Meanwhile in the Chief's house Hiccup was also awoken by the scream. In fact he rolled out of the bed in an unceremonious heap. Hiccup was confused when he looked around. The slab of rock were Toothless slept was empty and he knew that this early in the morning Toothless wouldn't voluntarily wake if he wasn't being bribed with fish.

"Toothless?" Hiccup called and heard a small whimper answer back. Hiccup looked in the direction of the sound and his eyes widened when he laid eyes on Toothless, who had pushed himself into a corner. Only Toothless wasn't very big now. In fact Hiccup would guess that Toothless had somehow reverted to the age of a newborn hatchling.

Toothless was staring at Hiccup with wide green eyes. The now hatchling let out a little puff of smoke. Hiccup guessed that that was supposed to be a fireball. His lips twitched as he looked at Toothless. He really should be more shocked but the baby Night Fury was just too cute.

Hiccup crouched down and extended his hand so that Toothless could sniff it. "It's going to be alright bud." Hiccup said as Toothless walked out of his corner on wobbly paws. Toothless let out a happy yip as he recognized Hiccup's scent. He tried to race to Hiccup but ended up stumbling and tumbling on his back.

Hiccup chuckled before scooping Toothless up and cradling him in his arms. Toothless let out more happy chirps as he wiggled and snuggled in Hiccup's embrace.

"Why don't we go figure out what happened bud." Hiccup said as he laid Toothless on his bed while he changed his clothes. Toothless let out a series sad whines when Hiccup had let go of him. But cheered up when Hiccup picked him up again and gave him a scratch. Toothless snuggled close to Hiccup's chest as they headed downstairs.

Hiccup saw his father near the door along with a large gathering of villagers.

"I'm telling you I'm Snotlout!" Was shouted in a feminine voice.

Hiccup quirked an eyebrow and decided to get a closer look.

Snotlout shouted in elation as she saw Hiccup approach. "Hiccup tell these guys that it really is me!!" Snotlout exclaimed.

"Eh.... Who are you?" Hiccup asked as he had never seen this girl on Berk.

"AAH" Snotlout now screamed in frustration. "Don't be so useless cuz! It's me, Snotlout, your awesome cousin!" Snotlout boasted as she tried to flex her muscles but groaned when she only saw thin arms.

"Eh...." Hiccup said perplexed before the girl claiming to be Snotlout whispered something in his ear. Hiccup looked shocked before exclaiming "Snotlout it really is you!!! Wait, why are you a girl?!"

"That's what I want to know!" Snotlout said and then Stoick spoke up.

"Son, are you sure that that is Snotlout?"

"Oh yeah dad. That's Snotlout." Hiccup confirmed as the villagers started mumbling to themselves. "We also have another problem." Hiccup then said and proceeded to show them Toothless.

"Well I'll be a yak's uncle." Stoick mumbled as he saw little Toothless.

"Hey!!" Snotlout now shouted. "Nephew....eh.... niece right here!!"

"Can I see Toothless son?" Stoick asked and Hiccup handed the hatchling to his father. Toothless immediately began to whine as he tried to wiggle out of Stoick's grip. When that didn't work Toothless puffed a small fireball at Stoick's beard.

"Sweet mother of Thor!" Stoick shouted as he quickly handed back the little dragon to Hiccup, who immediately curled up in his arms, as he patted the small fire which now burned his beard.

"Aaaw" Several of the women near the door exclaimed as the watched the little Night Fury gurgle and cuddle in Hiccup's arms.

"Let's pay Gothi a visit." Stoick suggested. Surely the elder must have some explanation for this as he was at a loss.

They all made their way towards the small hut where Gothi and several Terrors stayed. Gobber had decided to accompany them as he was one of the only who could decipher Gothi's scribbles.

Gothi's eyes widened comically when she opened the door and laid eyes on little Toothless, who from Hiccup's arms was watching everything curiously.

Gothi wasted no time and ushered them in. They explained the situation to her end Gothi thought for a bit before she began scribbling in the sand.

Gobber stood next to her and read the symbols. "She says it's probably the effects of the powder that they were covered in yesterday."

"So is this going to wear off?" Snotlout asked in a high pitched voice.

Gothi grabbed Snotlout and proceeded to examine her before scribbling again in the sand. "She says it should wear off in three days and you should be your old self."

"Three days?!" Snotlout exclaimed. "I'm stuck as a girl for three days!! Wait...." Snotlout stopped mid rant realizing something. "I'm stuck as a girl for three days." He now said gleefully. Well I'll be going now!! Bye!!"

Hiccup shuddered. "Well that was disturbing." He said and Gothi, Gobber, and his father nodded.

Gothi scribbled something else on the ground now and Gobber translated. "She says the powder must react differently with humans and dragons, although she wished Snotlout had also turned into a baby. It would have been an improvement."

Hiccup placed his hand in front of his mouth to stop the chuckle that was threatening to escape. "We might as well go as well." Hiccup said as he carried Toothless out of the hut. "Why don't we go see Fishlegs and Astrid."

Toothless cooed at Hiccup and clapped his little paws together as his earplates twitched. Hiccup laughed as he made his way through the village. It didn't take long to find Fishlegs and Astrid. In fact they found him.

"Morning guys." Hiccup greeted as Fishlegs skidded to a stop in front of them. Astrid was not far behind.

"Morning" Fishlegs wheezed as he was out of breath. "Is it true?!" He then asked. "The whole village is talking about it."

"Morning Hiccup." Astrid greeted as well.

"If you mean Toothless being turned into a hatchling then yes." Hiccup confirmed and then showed Fishlegs who let out a squeal of excitement.

"OH MY THOR! An actual baby Night Fury!" Fishlegs exclaimed. "Can I hold him?" He asked.

"Sure, I think he's a little picky about who holds him though. He burned dad's beard." Hiccup explained as Toothless began to whine just as soon as Fishlegs held him.

"Oh I see what you mean." Fishlegs said as a small fireball nearly burned his eyebrows. Fishlegs quickly handed the whining dragon back to Hiccup and observed the instant moodswing.

"I think Toothless thinks that you're his mother Hiccup." Fishlegs explained as Toothless was busy nuzzling him.

Hiccup lifted a brow. "Me a mother?" He asked.

"It actually fits." Astrid now commented with a smirk as she gave Toothless a scratch and started cooing at him. "I think you would make a great mother."

"Then you would be the father then." Hiccup smirked as he said this to Astrid, and he watched her cheeks redden at the implication.

"Oh hush you!" Astrid said and punched him in the shoulder. "Now tell me if what I've been hearing about Snotlout is also true."

"Oh yeah. Snotlout got turned into a girl." Hiccup confirmed and then he looked around questioningly. "Hey, where are the twins? There is no mayhem being caused."

"Hiccup do you want the twins' brand of chaos?" Astrid now asked perplexed.

"It's normal when the twins are blowing something up. It's when it's quiet that we have to be worried." Hiccup countered.

"I see your point" Astrid admitted.

"AAAAAAAHHHH" Was soon shouted through the village as the trio turned to see Snotlout, now in a black dress with an armored top, running away from Tuffnut who had a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"Come back my beauty!" Tuffnut shouted. "Why do you run from me!"

"Okay.... That was weird." Fishlegs stated as they watched Tuffnut chase Snotlout through the village. "Does Tuff not know that that is Snotlout?"

"Oh he knows." Ruffnut said as she joined the three while rolling her eyes at her brother. "He just doesn't care. According to him the fair maiden shall be his." She gagged as she said this. The others did too.

The day dragged on and now everyone in the village was waiting to see what Tuffnut would do to woo the 'fair maiden'. So far, flowers and songs haven't worked. Tuffnut ran determinedly back to his house as he exclaimed that he had an idea. Snotlout sighed with relief as she came out of the barrel that she had been hiding in.

Meanwhile both Hiccup and Astrid had been acting more domestically with now a baby Toothless being thrown into the mix. By the second day, Hiccup had fashioned a sling out of cloth so that he could work while keeping the little bubbly dragon with him. Astrid in the meantime had made it her duty to put food on the table and was now currently fishing for Toothless' lunch, much to Stoick's amusement.

Her eyes snapped up when she saw numerous ships along the horizon. They were approaching Berk and she ran to alert the Chief. Is the ships came closer the scouts could see the Berserker symbol on the sails.

The Berserkers landed on land and the warriors charged towards the village yelling slurs. They were met with heavy resistance from the Berkians. Metal clashed against metal and Dagur cackled as he made his way through the fray.

"Where are you brother?" He asked. "I've come for my Night Fury."

Dagur was making his way to the Chief's house, where Stoick had told Hiccup to stay, as Toothless could not fight with him and he wanted him safe. It was then that Dagur spotted a beautiful girl shouting a war cry while swinging a mace and knocking out one of his soldiers. He motioned for one of his men behind her to wait for his signal.

"Why hello fair creature." Dagur announced bowing slightly and catching her attention. "What is your name?"

Snotlout who had no idea how to respond. First Tuffnut and now this guy. 'The Gods hated her.'

"What!" Snotlout muttered lifting her mace and preparing to charge at Dagur when the Berserker behind her surprised her and knocked her out.

"Bring her with us." Dagur commanded as the Berserker carried Snotlout to the ship. Dagur then continued his trek up to the house and decided to climb to the window. He succeeded in surprising Hiccup that way.

Hiccup who still had Toothless in the sling could not fight adequately for fear of hurting the hatchling. Toothless chirped and peaked out of the sling surprising Dagur.

"Well well" Dagur said as he lunged at Hiccup who took a step back to evade. But a kick to his chest followed which sent him sprawling on the floor. Hiccup was dazed as he had hit his head pretty hard on the corner of his worktable when he fell and Dagur took the opportunity to take Toothless.

The little dragon immediately began to whine and started to cry as Dagur left the same way he came in. Toothless tried to shoot fireballs at the annoying man who dared to take him away from momma but he was being held under a shoulder in a strong grip.

Toothless growled and fidgeted and tried to flap his little wings to get out of the hold but it was to no avail.

Dagur ordered the Berserkers to retreat as he got what he wanted.

Meanwhile Hiccup came to and realized that Toothless was missing. He rushed out of the house to see the retreating armada.

"Astrid! Dagur got Toothless!" Hiccup exclaimed as her eyes widened. "Can Stormfly give me a lift?"

"Hop on" Astrid said.

"Wait for us!" The twins called out as they approached on Barf and Belch.

"He's got my fair maiden as well!" Tuffnut said as he clutched a scroll. "I had just composed a love poem of epic proportions and that...that swine dared to kidnap her!!"

"Egh" Ruffnut groaned and shook her head. "Let's just get Snotlout back before my brother gives me a bigger headache."

The twins along with Fishlegs, and Astrid and Hiccup flew towards the retreating ships. They dodged arrows and boulders as they came closer. When Hiccup spotted Dagur on deck he grabbed Astrid's axe.

"Hiccup what are you doing?" Astrid asked as he indicated for her to go lower.

"Going to teach that moron a lesson about taking my dragon." Hiccup muttered before he leapt off of Stormfly, axe in hand.

Dagur had restrained Snotlout on deck and was busy flirting, or at least trying to not even bothered about the riders, when he looked up as a war cry came from above.

Hiccup landed on deck and the flat end of the axe connected with Dagur's face knocking him out instantly.

"Cuz you came for me!!" Snotlout exclaimed happily but Hiccup ignored him.

"WHERE IS MY BABY!!" Hiccup now shouted, fury in his eyes, as he raised the axe. The Berserkers on deck took a step back from the one who had just knocked their Chief out.

"Wait you're not here for me!" Snotlout now whined as one of the Berserkers pointed to the small cage where Dagur had shoved Toothless in.

Hiccup used the axe to break the lock and scoop up the little Night Fury who wagged his tail as his momma came to pick him up.

Hiccup saw that the others had also landed and were keeping the Berserkers at bay while the twins freed Snotlout.

"Fear not fair maiden, for I the mighty Tuffnut Thornston have come to save you!" Tuffnut exclaimed as he puffed his chest out.

"Oh Thor, just let the last day pass quickly." Snotlout moaned as Tuffnut started reciting poetry to him.

---The End---  

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