37

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It's really easy to imagine saying that I don't have any intentions of talking with him again, but very difficult to do and say when he's already in front of me. I don't know... I don't really know. I just found myself wanting to watch him until he melted. I'm in total shocked. I can't even moved my body. He totally made me stilled.

How come I didn't recognized him at first? How come I became so foolish on the day I saw him on that party? Oh God! It's because of that mask and those unique pair of eyes of him! But still... myself is the only one to blame this time.

I swallowed hard as I took my second step backwards. Wanting to turn back and wanting to stay for more.

Why would I turn my back anyway? It will just make him think that I am pretending to not know him when in fact it is now too obvious to do so. But... but my body wanted to stay more.

Crap! Snap back to your senses! Gusto mo pa bang balikan ang taong nagpaiyak at sumira sa iyo noon?! May asawa na iyan at parang gusto mo pang hawakan! Huwag na huwag mong susubukang sumunod sa puso mo kung ayaw mong bumalik ang lahat ng nangyari sa'yo noon! Keep in mind na masaya ka na sa buhay mo ngayong nasa opisina lang at minamahal ang panghabang-buhay mong propesyon! Huwag na huwag kang magkakamali Phoebe! Amputa! Ba't ko ba kinakausap sarili ko?

Tss. But what should I do now? Should I... be casual? Should I greet him casually like there's no painful thing happened between us back then? That's more cringe. Hayst. Ano ba ang gagawin ko?

"Hi."

I gasped so shockingly at his cold icy voice! But his eyes... it's smiling. It's not... It's not his cheerful and energetic voice that I always dream to hear again. His hair, his eyes, his bodybuilt, does his attitude change too? He became more mature. He became more masculine. Ang layo na niya sa dating si Chrispher. No. How could he change this big for just one an a half year?

By the way... What should I reply to that?!

"Phob! Is everything okay?" Napakurap ako ng marinig ko ang humahangos na boses ni Andrew sa aking tabi, pero hindi lamang iyon, napasinghap at napatalon pa ako sa gulat nang maramdaman ko ang dahan-dahang paglapat ng kaniyang mainit na kamay sa aking baywang!

Anong ginagawa niya?!

"A-Andrew..." Kinakabahan at maang labi akong napatingin kay Chrispher. Ewan ko... pakiramdam ko lang ay may masama akong nagawa sa hindi ko alam na dahilan!

I saw how Chrispher clenched his jaw and folded his fist firmly like he wanted to punch someone right here and now. His eyes are now turning violent! My heart beated so crazily inside me. Anong nangyayari sa kaniya?! But before I could moved away from Andrew he turn his back fixing his cap and mask and walk fast across the pedestrian.

"Phob..." Tawag ni Andrew pero hindi ko na siya napakinggan. Nanatili ang nanlulumo kong titig sa papalayong si Chrispher. Bagsak ang balikat akong napalunok dahil sa panlulumong nararamdaman.

Hay. Ano ba itong nangyayari sa akin? Bakit hindi ko mapigilan ang mga emosyon ko? Palagi akong natatalo ng sarili ko!

"Phob..."

"Andrew?" I replied tiredly at him. Napasuklay ako ng buhok at kuyom ang kaliwang kamao na pinahinga sa aking hita. My hands are still shaking and the excruciating feeling within me didn't change! I can't even think properly! Mayroon sa aking gusto siyang sundan at pigilan, mayroon din namang pabayaan na lang dahil para saan naman kung susundan ko siya 'di ba? Chrispher... ano ba itong ginawa mo sa akin?

"Let's eat. I'm hungry..." Andrew's cold voice made me look at him attentively. A hint of sadness came across his face before he turn his back.

Nanatili akong nakatayo sa pwesto ko nang mga ilang segundo bago sumunod sa kaniya. Habang papalapit sa aming upuan ay pakiramdam ko'y mas lalong bumibigat ang enerhiya sa pagitan naming dalawa. Parang pakiramdam ko... kailangan kong humingi ng tawad sa kaniya.

"P-pasensiya ka na—"

"For what?" He chuckled. He's faking it. "You didn't do anything wrong. Come on. Huwag nating sirain ang mood. Minsan lang tayo magkita, ganiyan pa itsura mo."

"Nakita mo siya 'di ba?" I asked. He stopped from eating. Tiim bagang siyang napalunok.

"Chrispher?" Nanatili ang titig niya sa pagkain. "...akala ko ba limot mo na siya?"

"Ha?" Tuliro akong napatitig sa kaniya. Nakakaramdam na ngayon ng pagdududa sa sarili. "...t-tama—"

"Really?" He raised a brow before giving me an intense look again. It's as if I'm his client na guilty pero hindi pa rin umaamin.

A-anong nangyayari sa kaniya? Bakit ganiyan siya makatitig sa akin? Mariin akong napalunok at unti-unti nang nawawalan ng gana. I can't still not get over with meeting Chrispher and now... Andrew is making me confused with his strange stare.

"A-Andrew—"

"Kung limot mo na talaga siya... let's date, then."

Maang labi akong napatitig sa kaniya. "A-anong pinagsasabi mo? Andrew magkaibigan tayo, paano ko gagawin 'yan?!"

"Simula pa lang hindi na kaibigan ang turing ko sa'yo, Phob," from being intense his eyes turned soft. There's something about it that I could only see through Chrispher's eyes before. Everytime Chrispher smile and laugh with me, it's on his eyes now.

Nagsimulang bumigat ang hininga ko dahil sa narinig sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Masiyadong mabilis ang lahat. Masiyado akong nagulat sa mga nangyari sa akin ngayon. Naguguluhan na ako. Mariin kong nilunok ang butil nang kaba sa aking lalamunan bago napatayo.

"P-pasensiya na A-andrew... T-tatawagan na lang kita mamaya." I then left hurriedly in the restaurant.

Para akong nakakulong sa hawlang maski hangin ay hindi nakakapasok. Masiyadong nakakagulat ang lahat. Una si Chrispher... tapos ngayon, si Andrew. M-may gusto siya sa akin? P-paano? B-bakit?

Parang hangin lamang akong nakarating sa headquarters. Agad na akong pumasok sa opisina na kumakalam ang sikmura. Bagsak ang katawan akong napasandal sa aking swiveling chair at pabaling-baling at hindi mapakali ang mga mata dahil sa kakaisip. Kalaunan ay inis na napasabunot sa buhok. Isa lang ang alam kong makakausap sa ngayon.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone sa bulsa at tinawagan ang numero ni Beansey. Siguradong nasa Spa ang babaeng 'yon ngayon. After three rings ay sinagot din naman niya agad. Nagulat pa ako ng mapansing ang bagong gising niyang boses.

"Asan ka ngayon?" Tanong ko sa kaniya.

"Nasa condo mo ako. I just woke up! I'm in the middle of kissing your brother on my dream and you ruined it! Argh!"  Maktol niya. Tikom ang bibig at pikit mata akong napailing.

"May pupuntahan ka ba?"

"Ngayon? Wala na. I'll stay here. Buy some groceries outside and cook for our dinner later. Why?"

"M-magkita na lang tayo mamaya. May pag-uusapan tayo—"

"Are you going to kick me out here?!" Nagulat ako dahil sa matinis niyang sigaw.

"Wala akong sinabi!" I tsked. "Basta. M-may sasabihin lang ako sa'yo mamaya, tungkol sa ibang bagay..."

"Okay, I'll wait for you. Bye, ingat diyan."

"Mmm. Maya na tayo ulit mag-usap."

I ended the call. I sighed heavily and decided to make myself busy on paperworks. Alam kong hindi pa rin ito sapat para kalimutan ang nangyari kanina lang pero... kakayanin ko.

Natapos ang duty ko alas-sais ng hapon. Habang nasa byahe pauwi ng condo ay lumilipad na naman ang isip ko sa maraming bagay lalo na sa pagkikita namin ni Chrispher.

My fingers tightened around the wheel. How can he do that?! How can he say hi to me like that?! Jusko. Chrispher... ba't ka pa bumalik? Bakit mo pa binabalik ang lahat ng nararamdaman kong akala ko'y patay na?! Bakit mo na naman binuhay 'yon sa akin?! Sobra ka na!

Kagat labi kong pinunasan ang luhang basta na lang nagdantay sa aking pisngi. Hindi ako dapat umiyak. Ayaw kong matalo. Kung kailangan kong magpanggap at piliting magpaka-artista ay gagawin ko. Ipapamukha ko sa kaniyang wala na akong pakialam at nararamdaman. Hindi na ako uulit sa pagkakamali ko dati.

Nang makarating sa harap ng condominium ay kinalma ko muna ang sarili. I stayed inside my car for about 15 minutes. After that, I decided to buy beverages inside the mini grocery store bago pumunta sa aking condo. Pagkapasok ay bumungad sa akin si Beansey na naka-apron at naglalagay ng pagkain sa mesa. Nakangiti siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin ngunit agaran ding napalitan ng pagtataka.

"Oh? Bakit?" Tanong ko at dirediretsong tinanggal ang uniporme kong suot at ang holster sa aking bewang.

"Did you cry?" Her eyes is squinting. I bit my lower lip before looking away from her. She's really good in reading people's faces.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Now her face turned brighter and softer.

I swallowed the bile on my throat before sitting on our sofa. She sat on the other couch, looking so confused and worried at the same time.

"I... I met Chrispher."

Her eyes widened in surprise. Dumapo ang kaniyang kamay sa nakanganga niyang bibig. Now her face became more curious. I sighed.

"T-tapos si Andrew..." I paused. Parang hindi ko kayang sabihin. Napaka-imposible naman kasi talaga eh! Si Andrew? Kaibigan ko 'yon mula highschool!

"What about that lawyer?"

Naglalaro sa mga daliri at nakatungo lamang sa sahig ay nagdadalawang isip pa ako sa sasabihin. "G-gusto niya raw ako."

She gasped again. Napatunganga siya ng ilang saglit bago nagsalita. "Can you please tell me all what happened? I wanna here it."

Mabigat akong napahinga ng malalim bago ikinuwento sa kaniya ang lahat nakakagulat na nangyari sa akin sa araw na 'to. She keeps on biting her nails and gasping whenever I say something so surprising to her.

"So you mean... you already met him at the party?! Siya 'yon?! He did follow you! Ikaw nga ang inuwian niya rito!"

"Beansey... baka nagkataon lang—"

"How could you say that?! Come on Phoebe! Did you forget what my devil sister said to you?! Chrispher came back here for you! That's enough reason for me to say that it is not just f*cking coincidence!" She huff for air after saying those.

"N-naguguluhan na ako."

"And about the lawyer. He's Daddy Macia's niece, I think? Omygod! I'm not really familiar with them because I'm a black sheep of the family. I'm an orphan so wala akong masiyadong alam sa mga kamag-anak nina Mommy Loi at Daddy Macias. But... there's no way he wouldn't fall for someone he's comfortable with. You said you were together since highschool so no surprise." She changed her sitting position. "And I know that gesture he did was an act of possessiveness. With that gesture I think he's telling Chrispher that you're already taken. Well, 'yun naman talaga ang gusto mong mangyari 'di ba?"

I was immediately caught off guard at her last sentence. Damn!

"Ganoon ba 'yon?" Nagkakamot ng ulo kong saad. Wala na sa sarili kakaisip.

"Will it depends. Anyone could fall in love anytime or any moment. And it all depends on the things that person did to you that made you feel so special and wanted. Those things other people hasn't done for you before."

Hanggang sa matapos kaming maghapunan at maghanda sa aming pagtulog ay wala pa rin ako sa aking sarili. The time when I saw Chrispher... the butterflies inside my stomach flew all over, pero no'ng nagconfess sa akin si Andrew, pakiramdam ko'y lahat ng masasayang paru-parung iyon ay namatay.

Ang sama ko. P-pero kasi... kaibigan lang ang turing ko kay Andrew. He's just... a trusted friend. Ayaw kong masira 'yon. P-pero ayaw ko siyang saktan. Anong gagawin ko? I took a heavy sighed as I let myself doze off to wonderland of dreams and envision.

I woke up around five o'clock in the morning. A loud sound of my phone woken me up. Kinuha ko ito sa bedside table at tinitigan. My heart started to race excruciatingly inside me as I read all Andrews message.

Andrew:

I'm sorry. Did I make you feel uncomfortable? I'm really really sorry. I am not thinking clearly that time. My feelings clouded me out. Can we meet after your shift? Can we have dinner instead? It's my way of saying sorry. I'm so sorry Phob.

My sight landed on the floor. I don't know what to reply. Kikitain ko ba siya o hindi? Would we be casual? Sighing I glance at Beansey who's still sleeping deeply beside me. After seconds of thinking I decided to ignore the message. I stood up to go wash myself on the bathroom and cook for our breakfast. Maya-maya lang ay lumabas si Beansey sa kwarto na nagkakamot ng ulo habang ako ay naghahanda ng pagkain sa mesa.

"Kain na." I said.

"Are you going to work today?" She sat on the right side of the table.

"Oo, ikaw? Saan lakad mo ngayon?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Tambay muna sa pinapagawa ko pang Spa? I don't know..."

"Ang busy mo, ah?" Ani ko habang nagsasalin ng tubig sa baso.

She pouted her lips to hide her kikay smile. "Pwede ba ako sa office mo?"

"Hindi. Bawal doon."

"Ang boring!" She exclaimed. I shooked my head while stopping myself into smiling.

Nauna akong umalis nang condo. Sa headquarters ako dumiretso. While doing some works a loud knock from the door made me stopped.

"Pasok!"

Lupin went in with his manly police uniform that suits him well. Pero ang kaniyang mukha, medyo tensyunado.

"Hey!" He walk fast near me and sit on my visitor's seat in front of my table, carrying a brown envelope.

"Ang tagal mong hindi nakabisita, ah? Anong meron?"

"Inspector, I will be forward with you right now." Naglabas siya ng isang dokumento. Kinuha ko iyon at binasa. Natigilan ako ng mabasa doon ang case isa't kalahating taon na ang nakalipas tungkol sa mga Magno at Ignacio.

"Para saan 'to? Binitawan na 'to noon 'di ba?" Kunot-noo kong tanong.

"Well, Chief Manulo gave this to me."

"Para saan?"

"The Magno's heir came back. And I heard General Villegas is making his moves to catch him and put him in prison."

"Ano?!"

"It will be on us for now. Let's hide it for ourselves. I came here for this..." He tapped the document on my hand. "...Year ago, I investigated General Villegas myself. His properties, his informations and his one an only weighty company. His Security Agency."

I tilted my head while reading the document while he keeps on talking. "Chief Manulo and I found something so mysterious."

"B-bakit hindi niyo ako sinali?" Napanguso ako.

"Oh... about that," he laughed. "Your Tito cared for you so much so he hide it himself not letting you know about this. Don't be mad at him. You should be thankful though."

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

He smirked. "He will help us. Uunahan natin sina General Villegas sa pagkuha kay Chrispher Magno. Chrispher will be a very big help to gather some evidences for this case. He knows everything, I'm sure of that. Pakiramdam ko rin mayroong blackmail na nangyayari dito."

Pansamantala akong natigilan bago mariing napalunok. "So? A-anong... magagawa ko?"

He grinned. "Get him, Inspector. He's our only chance. I know you're the only one who can do that, without force or anything. We need him on our side first."