CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHO YOU ARE

IT'S MORNING A day and a half later when we're traveling in a stolen car. Now, the car is parked on the side of a small gas station and Seth and I are leaning against it as we wait for Kate. She's our current errands-girl since Seth is wanted and we're not sure if my face has left the news. I did see last night that it was shortly reported on several channels that I contacted my family and the searches for me stopped. It's weird to see yourself on TV but I'm mostly relieved that my mother did let the police know that they can stop searching.

Since two nights ago, Kate and Seth have been careful around me, which is nice of them but not necessary. It's somewhat easier to handle what happened since I'm in another country and don't have to face or speak to my parents again. On top of that, most of my hurt turned into anger with time. So, unless I think about what happened or about my parents, I'm fine.

Next to me, Seth is facing the car with the map I bought almost two weeks ago open in front of him. His gaze is set on the map and a focused frown is set on his face. Bags have started to form under his eyes from a night of no sleep and driving around. He got a feeling that the police were closing in on him after his last robbery and we took off without any objection from Kate or me.

My gaze wanders to the black flames that are tattooed on his shoulder and suddenly, I feel an urge to touch them. Quickly enough, I get my senses back and look away, silently scolding myself for almost letting my feelings get the best of me.

"You okay, May?" Seth asks and I turn my head towards him to see that he's already looking at me.

A bitter chuckle escapes my lips and I say, "You and Kate got to stop asking that."

"Noted," he replies. Then, he slightly raises his eyebrows. "So, are you okay?"

Having him wait for an answer makes it feels like time drags by while I try to decide what to tell him. I could pour out my heart to him but I don't think that either of us wants that. I could also lie, but his expression makes it seem that he does want to have this conversation and I sigh.

"You don't have to this... personal stuff, Seth," I say and hope that he realizes that I'm not saying it as a bad thing. "You and Kate talk about me, I know, so..."

Instead of completing the sentence, I shrug even though I know what I want to say. I want to tell him that he can save himself the effort and get the information from her like he already did. However, I know he won't like it if I'll say that and I don't even know why I'm suddenly like this around him.

As Seth faces me, he leaves the map aside and I think he looks annoyed. Great. I look away from him, ready for him to snap at me and hope that Kate will be back soon so I could avoid this.

"You don't think that you can talk to me?" he asks. I purse my lips, slightly frustrated with myself for making a small, unnecessary mess. "Look... first of all, Kate was worried about you—"

"I know. I'm not accusing you of anything," I comment and look hopefully at the door to the bathroom, where Kate is. Unfortunately, I don't see her coming out.

"Second of all," Seth continues. "Your parents are messed up. I get that, trust me. You're supposed to know that from what you've seen of... my... family." He sighs and he doesn't have to say it for me to know that he's talking about Richie. Richie, just like Jacob and Scott, hasn't been mentioned and this moment is all I need to know that Seth doesn't want to talk about this younger brother. He sighs. "What I'm trying to say that I know I don't come across as a heart to heart conversation type of guy, but you can talk to me."

We look at each other in silence for a few seconds and I forget all about Kate. I feel the annoying flutter in my chest and it makes me look away from the caramel colored eyes that are staring at me. Then, I start talking.

"My mom is... she has this idea in her mind of how things should be and if you don't fall in line, she thinks your life is going to be awful. She's the most stubborn person I know," I start explaining and the more I say, the angrier I start getting. "She just lashed out at me like I'm the worst kind of person there is. It didn't surprise me because ever since I told her that I was going to be a police officer, it was like a switch was flicked. And she isn't the only one, my entire family is like that but she's the source of it all."

Even though I'm looking at Seth again, I'm busy thinking about my family and the way our relationship got so bad. It's like as soon as I took a different turn in my life than they did, I found this ocean between us. And no matter how many times I've tried to fix it, it just felt like the change that happened is permanent. Like there is a mist between us and they can't see me the same way they did.

Seth listens tentatively, his gaze not leaving mine. His expression softens as my explanation goes on but I don't like the idea of him pitting me. Or maybe it's my irritation towards my family getting to me.

"I can't even say that she acted that way because she was worried," I add with a dry chuckle. "People can act up when they're nervous but it wasn't that. I mean, she accused me of running away to use drugs. She said that I'm a disgrace and that I should stay away from my family until I'll "get back on track" and those are just the things that I remember of the top of my head..."

A frown appears on Seth's features and I guess Kate hasn't mentioned this to him. I blurt out the information until I realize Seth looks positively annoyed and that's when I stop talking. I didn't expect this kind of reaction from his and I wait to hear what he'll say.

"That's bullshit, okay?" He says eventually, his feelings well heard in his voice and I look at him, surprised. Then, he swallows as if he realized how he's reacting and calms down a little. "You've been to hell and back without giving up for one minute. You're constantly been trying to do the right thing. That's who you are and don't let any asshole tell you otherwise, okay? Even your own family."

My heart flutters in my chest. His words encourage me and help me feel better, yet I don't know what to say because, again, I didn't expect something like this from Seth and after a while, he turns back to the map. His words echo in my mind for several moments, bringing up my confidence again.

"Thank you, Seth," I tell him.

He gives me a short nod and a few moments later, Kate comes back and we get into the car again. This time I'm in the backseat, but it was a mostly random choice to sit there when we hurried into the car last night. Now, however, I feel satisfied with sitting there, since I can stay out of any conversation that could take place between Seth and Kate, and take time to clear my head and get my spirit back up. And when Seth glances at me through the rear-view mirror, I feel like he could help me with those things.

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The sound of cars passing by follows well heard inside of our new motel room. This place is worse than the others we've been in before — the walls are dirty in three different places that I noticed so far, the furniture is obviously been here for a while with scratches and its color coming off in a few places — but it's all what we can allow.

Seth is looking through the window, possibly studying our surrounding and I'm getting out a plastic bag that contains the few clothes that I have. I organize them in one of the drawers and when I finish, the sight of the extra pair of pants and the two other shirts that are taking up barely a fourth of the space almost makes me crack up.

Once I finish, I take a seat on the only armchair in the room, in front of Kate, who is sitting on the edge of one of the beds. My body feels tired and uncomfortable from sitting in the car for a long time and not getting any sleep. Having to leave in the middle of the night was an unpleasant surprise, I just hope that we managed to get off the police's radar.

"Seth, you know you can't stand there all day long, right?" I ask tiredly.

For a few seconds, all I can do is stare at his back since he's facing the other way, but then his shoulders relax a little and he turns around. I can tell that he's tired as well just by taking one look at him.

"I know. I'm going to take a shower. I won't be long but knock if you need me," Seth replies, speaking mostly to me, his eyes staring into mine to make sure I understand. "Keep your gun in reach and I'll have mine with me."

Nodding, I show him that my gun is on me. Without saying anything else, Seth walks into the bathroom and lets the door slam behind him. I don't hear the lock turn, which means he probably wants to be able to get out of there quickly if needed. Honestly, I'm not sure it's paranoia or concern on his side. If it's the latter, his concern is appreciated yet it's slightly too much because we both know I can handle difficult situations on my own.

Leaning my cheek against my fist, I close my eyes; sleep is not easy to resist when you have nothing to do. Seth practically assigned me as the one in charge while he's gone, but I don't worry because I know that I'm not going to be able to fall asleep in a sitting position.

"Why does it have to be like this?" Kate's voice breaks the silence.

My eyes open to see the slightly grumpy expression on her face. I'm sure that it can be fixed with some sleep, but when her gaze meets mine, it's sharp and I know that I need to respond somehow. On the other side of the wall, I can hear the water in the shower running.

"What does?"

"Seth ordering us around, always doing things his way," the girl replies.

It seems that today's events have put her in a mood and I'm not sure I like where this conversation is heading. "Okay, we can talk about it together when Seth will come out of the shower," I offer.

Kate bites the inside of her cheek and stays quiet for several seconds. Thinking back, I recall that she was also rather quiet on the way here. If she has any problems with how things are being handled or with anything specific, we can talk about it when Seth is back. Or, after getting some sleep.

Then, Kate stands up and paces around the room a few times. "I don't get why Seth has to do everything on his own. I mean, if he messes up, no one's there to help him. And then this is what happens," she says, referring to our sleepless night before coming to stand in front of me. "He needs help, June."

It sounds like she wants me to step into his robbery business, but I hope I'm wrong. "You have to talk to him about it. No one can force Seth to do anything he doesn't want to, at least not without a good reason."

What I tell her is what I believe. She and I can insist for weeks that Seth should let someone help him, but it won't matter cause he won't listen. Honestly, I don't blame him for that because like he said, he's the only one here who knows how to pull a successful robbery.

"I want to go home," Kate says, drawing my attention back to her. She looks as young as these words make her sound. "And it's going to take forever like this. You can literally do magic. All it will take is a week of you two working together and we'll be done. We could be free."

My tiredness is pushed aside as I listen to her and feel the need to defend myself building up. "It's not that simple. Plus, those fake passports cost a lot. I know this isn't ideal, but we're moving towards our goal."

"We've been running from the police the entire night," she snaps in return and my eyes widen slightly at the volume of her voice. "Why do you have to be so selfish?"

Her question makes me freeze and I stare at her, not sure what to say and partly waiting for an apology. It doesn't come. I can still hear water running in the background and I silently hope that Seth will be out soon. Maybe he'll be able to calm her down.

However, I can't stop myself from asking, "You think I'm selfish?"

"Yeah," Kate replies without hesitating. "Don't act like you're not. You can make things so much easy for us, but you choose not to. What else am I supposed to think about you? You couldn't wait to get out of the Twister with or without us and now you can't let go of your useless principles, again, for us."

"Magic isn't as easy as it seems. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not able to do much aside from light a fire or make something explode," I say, thinking about all the times she witnessed me practice my magic.

"It just proves my point!" she calls back. "That is already so much. But no, you can't do even that much. And all it takes is a literal flick of your fingers."

Even though I do feel somewhat angry that she's standing in front of me, blaming of things that aren't necessarily true, I mainly feel sad. I'm not perfect and I don't pretend to be, but I've done things to help both Kate and her family. I'm not out there spitting blood and sacrificing everything that I have, nor have I done so little to be considered selfish. Or at least it's what I think.

The door to the bathroom finally opens, but I barely pay attention to it and nor does Kate. Seth walks towards us as he dries his face with a towel and says, "Can't I leave you two alone for more than five minutes without something happening?"

"You're not dying, Kate, get over it. There are other ways to get money, so yes, I don't want to put my name up on the 'wanted' list here," I tell her and move to the edge of my seat.

Of course, my words only make her angrier but I don't think that at the moment there is anything that I can do right in her eyes. We maintain eye contact, with her probably wishing my head would explode and me just wishing she'd leave me alone.

"Because God forbid you'll do something wrong, right?" Kate chuckles dryly. "You can stop trying to pretend now, we can see you for who you really are... or at least I can."

The last swing she takes at me makes me purse my lips and I simply stare at her as she glares right back. Seth starts saying something but I'm not listening more. Kate, on her part, turns around and leaves the room with the door slamming behind her.

"June," I hear Seth's voice say probably not for the first time and my attention finally moves to him. I can't pinpoint the emotion in his expression, maybe worry or confusion. "What just happened?"

My eyes start getting watery when I try to think of how to explain it to him. I'm not quite on the verge of tears, but Kate has definitely managed to hurt me. That along with the events of last week make me more vulnerable than usual. Leaning back in the armchair, I run my fingers through my hair until they get caught in the ties from it not being brushed recently and wonder where to start.

"You went to take a shower and Kate started saying how she didn't like that you make all of the decisions. Then, her accusations somehow turned to me. She claimed that I'm selfish because I don't use my magic to help you get us out of here... she also said she wants to go home and... well, you heard the rest," I ramble, the words come out quickly at first, but then I slow down when I get to the parts that sting me.

Throughout my explanation, Seth frowns. I bet he's surprised by Kate's lash out and by the fact that he was somehow included in all of this. So am I, even though she and I had a similar fight before. For a moment, as bad as it sounds, I wonder why she's turning all of her anger mostly to me and not to Seth.

Sighing, I push myself to stand up. "I'm just want to sleep. How are we going to sleep?" I say.

My gaze moves between the two beds in the room. Unfortunately, this motel only has two beds per room. It could have been fine if Kate and I didn't fight, but now we need to find a new sleeping arrangement. It all comes up to who will have to give up some personal space and share a bed while we're here.

Seth puts his hands on his hips as he thinks about an answer. "You take whichever bed you want. I'm not going to sleep yet anyway," he says eventually and takes my place on the armchair.

"You'll have to sleep at some point," I remind him.

He puts his gun in his lap and stretches out his legs. The armchair almost looks too small for him. Trying not to stare, I give him a questioning look and hope he isn't planning to sleep like this.

"I'm gonna wait until she'll get back, okay? Got to make sure nothing happens to her," Seth replies, leaving me no way to try and convince him to do anything. "I'll figure out the rest when the time comes, stop worrying about me."

"Then don't give me a reason to," I say, hoping that 'figure out the rest' doesn't mean I'll find Seth sleeping on the floor or in that chair. 

In return, Seth titles his head to the side and says, "Look who's talking. And July, don't forget what I told you earlier at the gas station."

While I appreciate his reminder of the encouraging things he told me earlier, I'm too tired from this day and effected by everything Kate blamed me for to start recalling every word he said. I nod and he holds my gaze but fortunately leaves things at that.

About ten more minutes pass by until I get to the bed across from Seth. Even though it isn't the best bed I've been in, just lying down feels great. Being the only one who's going to sleep, especially when Seth is right there and Kate is out somewhere, feels weird. However, no matter how much I think about what's really keeping Seth awake and what really made Kate snap, I can't keep myself awake anymore.

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This chapter feels like such a mess, I'm sorry. But thank you so much for over 2.5k views on this story!

ALSO HERE'S A POORLY MADE FAN MADE VIDEO BY YOURS TRULY FOR THIS STORY (the song in the background requires turning up the volume a little).