This chapter is dedicated to IAmYourZemblanity for being the most darling and supportive person - and friend - ever. Thank you a million for your relentless kindness. ♡

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There is the gentle tinkle of a brass bell and then Rafe is outside in the cold with me.

"Hey, I thought I saw you out here! Coming in?"

"I, uh, I actually wasn't feeling very well... I was gonna text you to tell you not to wait up for me." I gesture helplessly at my phone. It's true. I suddenly feel very queasy, for some reason.

"It's alright. Come on. There's nothing Pellegrini's can't fix." He steps behind me, arms on my shoulders and steers me into the warmth, into the light. I blink for a few seconds, adjusting to the bright atmosphere and then I'm sitting in the red booth by Rafe, opposite Lara and Gareth. The leather behind me isn't cold in the least and there are those heaters that cast a warm light upon us, interspersed by indoor plants, and yet I still shiver. I fumble over my words, still trying to make excuses.

"I'm actually so tired-"

"I thought you said you felt sick?"

"Both! But especially tired; I haven't been sleeping every well at all and-"

Lara winked at me, "We know whose fault that is though, don't we, Rafe?" She and Gareth both turned to Rafe, smirking. Rafe raised his eyes heavenwards but he looked concerned.

I shook my head at him. "No. Just nightmares mostly." Oh. It sounded so pathetic in the bright light of the restaurant. A girl my age, still haunted by nightmares. Should I tell them they aren't mere dreams, per se, but rather memories? No. Better not worsen my embarrassment. "Anyways, I'm sooo sleep deprived. I really just want to crash, like right now."

"Dude." Gareth unwrapped his arm around Lara as a waiter came by with the menus. "Eat first! This place is the best."

I persisted, recalling some of the persuasive techniques I'd been studying with Madeleine and Lucas an hour prior. The Aristotelian mode of persuasion logos: an appeal to logos. Maybe heightened with an authoritative tone.

"Yeah, but I read a study in Nature Communications that discussed the recent discovery that sleep repairs the broken DNA that builds up in brain cells during the daytime. I'm suffering- my DNA's probably a mess, what with all these sleepless nights."

Lara stared. "You said you were studying history and anthropology, right?"

"Yeah." I frowned slightly. Seriously, everybody nowadays was making me question my life choices. Lara threw Rafe a fleeting glance.

"And do you enjoy? I mean, I'm sure there's a scholarship that would allow you to transfer to a science degree?" I felt a small glimmer of hope ignite within me.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I do." Lara smiled at me, her eyes shining. And Rafe turned to me.

"You'd really like that?" He asked, and I let myself relax against him slightly.

"Yes. I would adore that." Rafe entwined one of his hands in my own as he flipped through his menu.

"We'll have a look then. Although I'll miss our history dates."

"I suck at dates! I never remember when anything happened." Gareth chuckled as Lara hid her smile behind her menu.

Rafe leaned over and kissed my temple, "These kind of dates." Oh. Embarrassing. I force a small giggle, but suddenly I feel so out of it again. Lara flipped through the menu murmuring quietly to Gareth and we are silent for a few seconds, scanning the meal selections before Gareth suddenly perked up.

"You mean to say that my DNA is dying when I'm awake? It's dying right now?" He looked around, horrified, as if maybe he'd maybe be able to see the demise of his genetic information hovering in the air before him.

"Well," I didn't want to scare Gareth but what could I say? "Yes. So, I guess everyone knows that sleep helps us to recharge and restore our bodies, right? But the true purpose of sleep is actually still quite a mystery. Some scientists overseas have hypothesised that perhaps the main reason is to repair our DNA."

Gareth looked freaked, and I pressed on, aware that I hadn't really explained properly yet.

"So, it's kinda normal everyday wear and tear. Everybody's DNA breaks during the daytime when they're awake. There was this study conducted on these genetically engineered tiny transparent zebrafish which had these colourful chemical tags attached to the chromosomes in their neurons that allowed the scientists to observe, using microscopes, how often their DNA was broken when they were asleep compared to when they were awake." Lara stared at me, fascinated. Rafe leaned back, smirking slightly at their expressions.

"Smart girl, huh?" He said, proudly. His phone rang and he started. Lara met his eyes for a second and he nodded at her and she pressed her lips together. "Get me the puttanesca, would you? I need to take this." And he edged out of the booth, and walked out into the cold night.

"Of course you'd want that!" Called Gareth after him. What does that even mean?

I stared at Lara, who sighed and replied, "You don't really want to-"

"-Know what that means in Italian!" Interrupted Gareth. THe faintest memory from A Series of Unfortunate Events flickered in my mind, and I smiled. The waiter came by and we ordered, and he collected our menus, bringing over table water and cutlery.

"Anyways, zebrafish?" Gareth tapped at his glass.

"Right. So when they were sleep deprived, their DNA broke to such an extent that some of their neurons had so much genetic damage that they were in actual danger of dying off; their chromosomes changed heaps. Way more than those of the sleeping fishes."

Gareth laughed drily. "My chromosomes sleep with the fishes."

"Yes, well, there is good news. When the researchers let the fish sleep, there was less DNA damage in their neurons. Chromosomes constantly change shape anyway 'cos our cells have natural mechanisms which repair the DNA but when we're awake, the mending can't keep up with the damage rate, right? Whereas when we sleep, it can. Some scientists believe that when we're seriously tired, like I am right now, neurons accumulate so much damage that they signal to the brain that we utterly must go to sleep in order to fix the damage and, like, avoid going into an unsafe zone."

I tapped my fingers on the table and sneaked a glance at Lara and Gareth, worried they'd be judging me, or making fun of me. They weren't. A smile played on Lara's lips and in that moment she looked so similar to Rafe. Gareth was staring at me in wonder, looking ever so intrigued. I peered around the restaurant, catching sight of Rafe having an animated conversation on the phone. It looked like a vicious argument. Turning back to the people sitting before me, I continued on.

"These are relatively new studies and scientists are still investigating the effects of sleep deprivation on mice and other mammals, but they're very sure that the Same thing happens with humans. There was also this study using blood samples that conducted in Hong Kong that bolstered the link between sleep deprivation and DNA damage in overworked doctors. So yeah, it's pretty compelling evidence and that's why it's sooo important that we get enough sleep."

I yawned. I really was so exhausted. I drowned again last night and woke up before the sun had even risen. Although the streets had been so dark, I went running, and, as if drawn by some magnetic force, I found myself tugged through the forest, to the cliffs again. I had that urge again, to feel myself tip over the edge, but managed to resist. It was so dangerous. I tumbled out of the forest, as fast as I could, caught one of the earliest trams back to the hotel and locked myself in the bathroom for ages. Finally, I'd managed to quiet my rapidly beating heart, buff away some of the shadows beneath my eyes with concealer.

I'd never really gotten into makeup, had no idea how to use a primer, or a setting spray, or whatever, didn't even own a foundation, and so, each and every day, the little makeup I did put on -if any- would disappear by afternoon. Any remnants would have been chased away by the water I splashed on my face at Madeleine's house anyway, allowing my dark circles to shine through. Gareth and Lara could see I was clearly very tired.

"Just have some food, yeah? You can leave early. Actually, we'll all leave early." Lara patted my arm gently. I saw Gareth purse his lips and I remembered his plan to drag Lara to the cinema afterwards.

"No! No, it's fine. I really just want to be alone for a while anyway. Please, don't let me ruin your plans."

Finally, the food came, and Rafe returned, throwing himself heavily into the booth. He didn't say anything about the call, but I noticed that he was tenser than usual. His eyes flickered between Gareth's and Lara's and I noticed him give them an almost imperceptible shake of his head. But I didn't say a word about it.

We ate our dinner quietly. Gareth wondered aloud if the stripes of a transparent zebra fish were also see through and we looked up photos on our phones. He then declared that he needed a genetically modified glow-in-the-dark zebrafish in his life and Lara promised to buy him some. Moreover, he proceeded to enunciate that he wanted a transparent great white shark and queried as to whether or not you would be able to see it digest an actual human. That reminded me of my dreams and made my stomach start churning again. Rafe noticed, asking if I was alright, and I shook my head, excusing myself to the bathroom. I grabbed my bag, inadvertently leaving my phone face down on the table, forgetting to pick it up after our recent searches on zebrafish.

As I was walking back to the table, I noticed Lara, Gareth and Rafe deep in what looked to be a serious conversation. Lara glances about furtively, repeatedly casting glances at the door to the bathroom and I suddenly had a sinking feeling that they were talking about me. I didn't know what to do. I decided it was probably polite to let them finish their little talk and I slumped into an empty booth behind some large indoor ferns. It was only a few metres away from their table and yet not so close that I could hear what they were saying. Suddenly, I felt so curious. But it was too risky, not to mention inherently wrong, to eavesdrop. Whatever. I shook my head to clear such unethical thoughts and opened up my bag to read a book.

I couldn't find one and realised that I'd left it at the hotel. Fine. I'd play with my phone instead and risked a glance back at the table where Rafe was dragging a hand through his hair, looking stressed. Maybe he was going to break up with me? I suddenly felt really very sick again and contemplated running back to the bathroom, but my eyes suddenly alighted on my airpods, nestled deep within my bag.

Should I? But what would I hear? Would I be better off confronting them honestly? But MadeLucky would be so proud! Well, Madeleine would at least; I feel as if Lucas would have some apprehension, would be annoyed at Lena's determination to corrupt me.

I shook my head, as if clearing it, letting my hair tumble about my shoulders. This had nothing to do with Madeleine and Lucas, it was entirely my decision, and I had decided that I wanted to know what was going on. And so I put the airpods on. Luckily -or maybe unluckily?- Lena had not changed my phone to normal after our 'tutoring session' and so I was able to hear the hushed conversation at the table perfectly.

"Dude," Gareth was hissing, "you have got to break up with her right now. It's too cruel."

Oh my god. I suddenly felt so weak. I was already regretting this.

"Gareth!" Now it was Lara speaking. "Don't! Rafe loves her, right? Raffy?"

I guess he either nodded... or shook his head. Or maybe he said nothing at all because I didn't hear any reply from him.

"You know what he's like. There's no way..." I didn't know who Lara was talking to or about. Was she speaking to Gareth maybe about Rafe, or to Rafe about somebody else? Who was he?

Rafe sighed, almost imperceptibly.

"Well, Rafe, whatever you do, don't break her heart." I didn't know how to feel about this. Were Gareth and I friends, or what?

"Yeah, Gareth's right, she seems so... fragile." Lara's voice wavered no the last word. "Is she okay? She's been gone a while... should I go check up on her or something?" I held my breath. Could I somehow run back to the bathroom?

"Just give her a minute. Oh, Angel, what can I do?" Rafe sounded lost.

"She looks so... sad sometimes. What's the deal?"

"I..." Rafe sighed, again. "Honestly, I don't know. She hasn't- doesn't want to tell me. Maybe she'll do it in her own time."

"Yeah, well we know that there's no way that's happening now." I was surprised by Lara's bitter tone. Had I said or done something to upset her? "Rafe! You have to deal with him or else you and Evie will never work out."

Rafe sounded like he was giving up. "Maybe he's right. She has her secrets. If she doesn't trust me enough to tell then there's no we'd ever work out. And..." He lingered on the word. "Okay, you guys know me, right? I wouldn't make a big deal out of nothing. But what she's hiding, it's something serious. More than that Elio drama. Something darker, and I don't know if I can even trust her..."

My breath hitched and my throat suddenly felt tight. But I loved him, surely that was all that mattered? But he didn't know that, did he? ... Because I hadn't trusted him enough to tell him.

"Whatever, dude. Don't hurt Evie though. I'll literally murder you if you do." Oh, Gareth, the word is figuratively, practically, virtually. Unless he meant it?

"I agree, Raffy, you absolutely mustn't break her."

But I'm already broken, I wanted to shout. I didn't.

Instead, I took the airpods out. Tossed them into my bag. Smoothed my jeans over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Pasted a smile on my face. And walked back to the booth, acting as if I never heard a thing.

"Hey." I said.

"You alright?"

"Yeah..." I trailed off, unable to meet any of their eyes. "Actually, no. I don't feel well at all. I'm gonna go back to the hotel. My landlady's supposed to call me sometime tonight; my apartment will be ready soon. Yay. Also homework. And I need to repair my DNA." I try to joke but even Madeleine would be able to see that I don't feel like myself. "I'll just pay up front and leave. Goodnight." I turn around, but somebody grabs my wrist and I feel myself freeze and visibly flinch and shy away from Rafe's touch. He looks wounded and so does Gareth for some reason. Lara just twirls her pasta.

"Wait, you can't go."

"Why?" Oh. Return of the ice queen. Not even the hesitant smile I flash can take away the cold edge from the word.

Gareth speaks up. "Oh, Evie, did you forget? It's my last night here." Oh no. Gareth gets up from the booth as Rafe relinquishes his grip. I force a slightly stronger albeit faux smile at Rafe and Lara, and Gareth accompanies me to the counter.

"Hey, no, I'll pay." I let him, feeling still so queasy. He follows me out into the street, out of sight of his friends. They're no longer our friends. I don't even know if we are friends.

We're in the street and he suddenly has his hands in the pocket, avoiding eye contact. "I'll miss you Evie," He says, still not looking at me. "Look after Raffy, yeah?"

"Gareth... is something going on?" Finally he looks up.

"Oh, Evie. It's not my place to say. But whatever happens, keep in touch, Okay? I've moving to Barcelona next year for soccer and you'd better come visit." He takes a hair tie out of his hair, letting the bun unravel so that the blond strands tumble over his shoulders.

"Even if...Rafe and I aren't?..." I don't really want to finish my sentence. Gareth meets my eyes. He knows that I know that something's definitely up.

"Especially if. You'll always have a friend in me, Evangeline." Gareth looks worried for a second, hesitant, and then he outstretches his arms and I launch into them.

"I'll miss you, Gareth," I murmur, wrapping my arms tightly around him as I breath his familiar scent, his long hair tickling my face.

"And I'll miss you, smart girl. Send me your research papers."

"My research papers?"

"Yup. I wanna be the first to know when you make a new discovery about transparent zebra fish or alpha-helixes or anything."

I smile. And Gareth smiles back.

"Goodbye, Evie." He says into the cold night. And as I start to walk off, I turn back and wave. I never thought we'd become friends. And now I realise that I really will miss him. I blink hard, letting the light of the street lamp above him impress a vision upon my eyelids. Branding my last memory of the boy who saved me that night in the fog in my brain. His hair glints gold in the light, and he smiles broadly and waves back at me.

"Goodbye, Gareth." I whisper, and then I am gone.