The days pass by, measured only by calls from lawyers and detectives. I apologise profusely to Gareth for ruining his holiday and even though he is weary now and has only a few days left with us, he hugs me and thanks me for making his visit so exciting. I call my parents but I don't tell them what happened. What can I say? I am an adult anyway, and they don't need to know. Eventually, everything settles. I discover that when you have enough money, you can buy silence and freedom and peace of mind. Elio is thrown into jail. It turns out that he's older than we thought. He's almost thirty. I have no idea what his job is; he told me he was a pianist at The Henley but there is no such position. His name is Elio Aylett and he is an Anna Sorokin-esque conman, trying (unsuccessfully) to seduce the upper echelons of society. I mean, why did he even pick me? Elio reminds me of a foreword to a copy of The Great Gatsby. One I read many years ago, about the patricians and illegal bootleggers coalescing to form the dilettante social group; a social standing which cultures pretensions of sophistication. He was pretending like he was some WASPy kinda rich boy. I tell Rafe about this one night. But I leave out the F. Scott Fitzgerald stuff. I don't think he's read the book.

Curled up in a cashmere blanket in front of the fire with my laptop on my lap and my literature notes sprawled around me, I wonder aloud as to who -what- Elio really is.

Rafe's studying his own work on his own laptop and when I ponder Three Sugar's true nature (even Rafe has taken to calling him that as it seems that nobody knows who Elio truly is), he sighs. His eyes wander towards the screen of the TV which is left drifting through a montage of shows to watch on Netflix. The sound is off and the light casts an artificial glow across his face as the screen flickers from show to show.

"Evangeline," He says as he turns to look at me, "We all wear masks around here."

I turn away. Because that is true. For me, at least. But I wonder, is Rafe different for me than he is with others? I finish my homework shortly and pack my books and things away. I remain on the couch though, rereading The Giver again. Until I get a message. My phone chimes. It's Charlie.

«Evie come visit! Your parents are harassing me now!

Hey Charlie? They saw me like, last week. I videochatted them!»

The question mark is a typo but it's too late now. The message has sent and I don't want to come off as a complete grammar freak- even though Charlie know that I am exactly that.

«What about me? I haven't seen you in so long! x

Once upon a time, that would have made my week. It would be the one thought I return to in daydreams during class. But now? I deliberate over what to say for a few seconds. Leaving him on read. Then he writes again.

«♥∞

Years ago, I remember having a discussion with Kiki and Charlie about how regular emojis are insincere when you're trying to convey love. I'd declared that the only emoji heart which really looked as if it stood for love was the deep red one, located in the deck of cards section. We'd discussed this for hours. At first, Kiki had obstinately declared that the pink heart with the yellow ribbon had epitomised love. Charlie and I had stared her down, until finally she relented, admitted that she'd only said that to annoy me. But she disagreed with the notion of the card heart being better. Eventually, we'd stumbled upon the Japanese Kana keyboard and had decided that the black heart meant a sincere love you and the infinity sign meant forever. Love you forever. Oh, Charlie. I tapped out a reply, taking too long deliberating over what to send. Eventually I send him the heart and infinity. Because it was true, I'd love him forever.

I'll call you sometime tomorrow»
♥∞»

When Rafe finishes his work, he picks up his phone, scrolling absently through social media, dismissing a few messages from Chad, leaving him on read, and glances over at me.

"What are you reading?"

"It's The Giver. I've read it so many times."

"Isn't there a movie of it? I swear I've seen it on Stan or something?" Rafe picks up the remote and starts searching.

"Yeah, there is."

"Good?"

"Uh huh. I don't know if it's better than the book exactly though. Like, I adore it. I adore them both but they are just so totally different to one another that I don't know if I can compare." What even am I talking about anymore?

"Okay. Do you want to watch, or skip it?"

"Let's watch."

I'd seen the movie many times but I'd forgotten so much of it. I don't know if Rafe is really concentrating though. We get to the piano scene when the Giver first introduces music to Jonas and I tap out my fingers in time to the song, resolving to learn it. Rafe watches me, a slight smile on his face as I try to discern what notes are being played. God, it is such a beautiful song. When Jonas delves into a vision of a beautiful wedding and the piano music collapses into a gorgeous cacophony of stringed instruments and accordions and tambourines, Rafe leans over and kisses me.

The cashmere blanket falls to the floor and even though it is icy cold outside, in this moment I feel so very hot. Too warm. I tug off Rafe's top and he pulls my jumper off of me. We're tangled together on the Chesterfield, his hands weaving though my hair, my fingers digging into his back. His mouth is on my neck, my eyes shut, back arched when the door suddenly, abruptly, opens and a beautiful dark haired girl stalks into the room, laden with bags as she wheels in a suitcase.

What the hell? I freeze, and Rafe glances up, startled. We tumble off the couch together, crashing heavily onto the floor, Rafe landing on his back and me on top of him.

"Lara?" He says. "Lara!" I lift myself away from him and sit there on the hardwood planks with my back to the base of the couch, knees drawn up close to my chest. Rafe leaps up and runs to the girl and she launches herself at him, dropping her bags and jumping into his arms. Her arms wrap around his neck and he clutches her close to his bare chest spinning slightly.

"Oh, Raffy! I missed you so much!" She says, as they embrace, her feet off the ground. After what seems like an eternity, but is really only a few seconds, Rafe puts her down.

"When? How?" His hands are in hair, he's looking her up and down, eyes sparkling.

"Just managed to catch the last plane here. You would not believe who, well what, I saw last week. Oh my gods. You should have been there! Rafe!" Her gaze falls to me and she stares at appraisingly, the way you'd examine an unusual artwork or assess the value of a trinket. "Hello."

"Hey." I give her a small wave. Oh god, or gods, as she said? Although her hair is dark, her eyes look intelligent. She reminds me of Annabeth Chase. This must be the girl whose room I've been staying in. Who is she? His long distance girlfriend, maybe? Oh my gosh. I start to feel slightly queasy. What possessed me to believe that Rafe actually liked me? That I wasn't just another one of his casual flings. A distraction while he waited for her to return. I remember scoffing at the idea that I'd ever date him. What made me change my mind? Stupid. So stupid. Why?

"Oh!" Rafe suddenly looks embarrassed and I feel a blush fill my cheeks. He's going to kick me out, I know it! My apartment isn't ready yet. What do I do? Maria will let me stay, surely. And Noah returns in a few weeks. I can crash with him. Rafe walks over to me and offers me his hand. I don't want to take it but I do. He pulls me to my feet.

I should be civil at least. And so I stretch out my hand to shake hers. "My name's-" Evie and I shall be moving out shortly, don't mind me. I'll go right now. Have a nice life! Bye...

"Evangeline!" She says, brushing away my outstretched hand and instead reaching in for a hug instead.

"Raffy's told me so much about you!"

What?

"Angel, sorry. This is my cousin, Lara." Says Rafe awkwardly as he tugs his shirt back on and grabs Lara's bags, bringing them to rest on the floor next to the couch.

Oh. For some reason, I'd always thought Rafe's cousin was a guy. I never imagined the fiercely beautiful woman before me.

"Wait, you're Rafe's cousin?" Still disbelieving.

"Yep. Hard to believe we're related, right? Isn't he lucky." She releases me and skips over to her bags, lugging them over to the room I've been staying in as if they weigh nothing. Finally those phone calls, the whispered I miss you, and sparks of light that come into his eyes when he gets a message on his phone, they all make sense.

"Ra-afe! What's going on here? Somebody's been sleeping in my bed." Rafe laughs, and I follow them both to the doorway of the room. Lara's room.

"Somebody's been sitting in my chair." Rafe snickers and Lara pushes him, playfully.

"Sorry! That was me, I had no idea." I apologise, gesturing helplessly.

"Wait, what? You aren't even sleeping in the Same bed yet? I mean, I know what Rafe's like, kicks them out before dawn or whatever. You would not believe the number of times I've woken up at like 3am because some girl is hysterical." I catch her wry, sarcastic tone and Rafe elbows her, indignantly rolling his eyes. "But like, I thought you guys were serious. Wait, so you guys aren't even fu-"

"Lara. Shut up." Growls Rafe. We have been sleeping in the Same bed lately, actually. For the last few nights. The nightmares don't come so often when you spend less of the night sleeping. My lips involuntarily smirk a little bit at that. "And actually," continues Rafe, "Not that it has anything to do with you, but we are."

"You are what?" Lara grins wickedly. "Sleeping together or sleeping together?" I laugh out loud at that and Rafe rolls his eyes but laughs a little too. He throws a pillow towards Lara, but she dodges and flounces away.

"Go get room service, would you?" He yells after her and Lara skips out of the room until all that remains of her as the door slams shut is the dissonant echo of her laugh.

"So, she's your cousin?" I ask, as I sit on the edge of the bed.

"Yep." Suddenly Rafe looks tense and he abandons any notion of stripping off the bed sheets. "Is she what you expected?"

"No." Worry clouds his features. "God, she's so cool, Archer! You never told me what she looked like, though! I thought that was, like, your girlfriend."

"What does that even mean? You're my girlfriend." Then the confusion clears from his face as he catches on to my meaning. "Wait, wait, you thought I was cheating on some girl, with you? Evangeline, don't you understand that I love you?"

What?

"You love me?"

How can he love me? We barely even know each other. We haven't even know each other for a whole year? This is insanity, or maybe he's one of those people who will literally throw the word around, like all the time and it means nothing to him. But that's not me. I've literally only said it to very few people in my life: my family, Kiki, and Charlie. It's hard to say. Scary even. How does he do it so easily?

"Yes." How can he be so sure? He doesn't even truly know me. Barely anybody does anymore, least of all myself. And yet, this is the part where I tell Rafe that I love him. But I can't. If I admit it then it becomes real, true. And I will, once again, become the Deathbringer. Nobody else can die. Rafe goes to say something, but I effectively shush him by pressing my mouth to his. We roll over on the bed and I become ensnared in the sheets and Rafe's arms and then Lara is there again.

"Not again! Are you guys always like this?"

"God, Lara! You have seriously awful timing, you know that?" Rafe remarks as we break apart. I giggle.

"Get a room, would you! Your room, not mine." She claps her hands as a maid comes in behind her. "Come on, out! I've spent the last few weeks huddled up by a fire in a literal pudú skin in a cave. While you guys have been dreaming about each other, I've been dreaming of my bed. Get outta here and all our dreams will come true."

"Come on, Rich Boy," I say as I slide my hand into Rafe's. He rolls his eyes at Lara.

"Ooooh, Rich Boy! Perfect for you. Get out, leave!" She sticks her tongue out at Rafe and gives him the finger. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Evie!" she says.

*

Once the maid has changed the sheets, I knock on Lara's door. I'll need to move all my clothes and stuff out, and I should probably offer to help her unpack. She opens the door, smiling widely. She scans the doorway for Rafe and when she realises he isn't there, her smile grows broader. They're like siblings with a vicious yet loving rivalry. "Come in, Evie." She says, loudly, spritely, enunciating my name to insinuate that Rafe is not welcome in her room.

"That's my job!" Calls out Rafe and I cringe, squeezing my eyes shut. Lara laughs though, the sound dancing through the room.

"God, I missed him like hell!" She lets me into the room.

"Do you need help unpacking?"

"Sure."

"Where've you been? Do you stay here often?"

"Peru. And yeah, I stay here for a few months every year. Whenever I'm back from some trip. Poor Rafe, he has it hard. His father's all study business! Take over the family business! My parents were like that once upon a time, but now they understand. I can't deal with a life of prep schools and garden parties. I need adventure. Sometimes, though, I do crave a little normalcy. Especially after some of my crazier digs." When I shoot her a quizzical look, she explains that she goes on archeological adventures, and tells me of some of the crypts and tombs that she has discovered. "You'd never believe some of the stuff I've seen. Rafe's been with me a few times. It's unreal. Ask him!" I tell her I will, and help her to fold her clothes up, Marie Kondo style, into her drawers.

We cart out all my stuff and hang it up nicely in Rafe's wardrobe. Gareth turns up with Vietnamese takeout and scoops Lara into his arms and she squeals. "You've been living on nothing but, like, campfire grilled Peruvian deer, probably. Time for real food!" He declares. Eventually we all collapse on the couch together, watching brainless television and eating spring rolls and noodles. Lara sprawls out, luxuriating on the leather. And Gareth sits cross legged on the floor in front of her. I don't know if they ever dated or are just friends but Lara's fingers play, mindlessly in Gareth's hair, inadvertently tying knots and tangling it into an unbrushable mess and he just smiles and doesn't say a word to stop her. Rafe keeps one arm wrapped around my shoulder and the other on the remote, safeguarding it against Gareth until he snatches it from my boyfriend and switches to a foreign soccer game.

"Home." Says Gareth simply, smiling at the screen. And I have to agree.

~~~

Hope you enjoyed !!!

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Your love is the only thing getting me through uni right now xxx

Also, I WAS going to format the texts so it''d be easier to see who's talking but that would take forever and I urgently need to actually study for my exams now help :'(

Sorry.