I stare at the ceiling, tracing the shadows in the dark. Their shapes distort and reform, almost tangible, creeping closer until I can see their outlines. I blink and turn away, fixing my gaze on the wall instead. The faint light of the moon seeps through the curtains, casting a haunting glow on the clock as time ticks away with agonizing slowness. I groan when I realize it’s only 11 o'clock. I have been praying for time to speed up, so I hope God can listen to me. The sooner morning arrives, the sooner I won't have to be alone. 

The itch always starts around this time, gnawing at the edges of my sanity.

I want to scratch it so badly, though I know chasing the fleeting rush of euphoria is nothing as against the wave of guilt and regret that will follow.

"Do it, do it, do it," the devil mocks, slithering through my head, hissing the words like an incantation.

It's hell bent on ruining me.

The more I ignore it, the louder it becomes.

But I am only human. How much longer can I endure without losing my mind?

As I feel myself starting to surrender, I roll out of the bed and switch on the light. This can't happen, I scold myself, taking deep breaths to steady my nerves. In and out. In and out. I command my senses to focus. My fingers tremble as my heartbeat accelerates, the rhythm so loud that it echoes in my ears. I clutch at my hair, anchoring myself in the present.

These are the moments when meditation feels like a cruel hoax.

A knock reverberates through the room, drawing my attention to the closed door. I wonder whether the sound is in my head or…

But it comes again, along with a familiar voice. “Mira, are you awake?”

Rihan.

The devil in my head retreats at once. With a sigh of relief, I send a silent prayer to God for helping me as I unlock the door and pull it open. 

"Did I disturb you?" he asks, his gaze searching my face.

I shake my head, mustering a small smile to reassure him. "No, what's up?" 

He has changed from the formal attire he wore earlier to black sweatpants and a gray T-shirt, his soft smile infusing his features with a boyish charm that eases the tension I was feeling.

“Come with me.”

“Where to?” Glancing at my reflection in the mirror, I notice my disheveled hair and run my fingers through them before following him. Ugh, how did he look at me with a straight face?

“To my room."

I come to a sudden halt, my eyes widening as I regard him. “Your room?” The words feel foreign on my tongue.

“Yeah,” he confirms.

"The one where you sleep?" I ask, my voice rising an octave. "You are inviting me there?"

His eyebrows furrow as he notes my disbelief, then realisation dawns on his face and he quickly clarifies, “No, not like that. I meant the balcony.”

"What for?" I press as we enter his room. It is late, so late that we are probably the only ones awake while the rest of the world slumbers. "Wait, are you going to push me off?"

His smile fades, replaced by a look of exasperation. He opens and closes his mouth several times before resorting to glare at me. “You are spoiling my surprise.”

I give him a cheeky smile and step out onto the balcony. When I see the setup, my heart flutters, having a mind of its own despite my efforts to shut it. I have never been here before, so I don't know if Rihan went out of his way to make the arrangements or if it's always been here. But whatever it is, I am floored. Two chairs with plush cushions are positioned on either side of a round tea table, while against the left wall, a wooden shelf overflows with potted plants, adding a touch of greenery. 

"Look up," he says, tipping his chin towards the sky. 

I do, and gosh, the view has me mesmerized. It's a clear night, allowing the stars to shine like pearls against the dark expanse.

"It's beautiful," I breathe, unable to tear my gaze away.

"It is,” he agrees. “But let me show you the real deal."

Beside the table is a sleek black telescope, its silver frame glinting in the soft light of the moon. With practiced ease, he adjusts its position, aiming it towards the sky.

"Here, take a look." He steps aside to give me room. 

I hesitate before leaning forward and peering through the eyepiece. As I gaze into the depths of space, my breath catches in my throat.

If magic is real, it is here and now because it feels as though I have been transported to another world, where time stands still and the wonders of the universe lay within my reach.

“The rehab I was admitted to was outside the city. Nights were the worst," Rihan confesses, sinking into the chair. "I’d spend hours looking out the window. That's when I found a friend in the stars. At home, I’d go to the terrace and sit under the sky. Even though I couldn't see the stars, I still talked to them about everything. You should try.”

My hand instinctively streches towards the sky, seeking the same connection he found. I let out a sigh and sit across from him. “Thank you, Rihan.”

He smiles in response, and that's all it takes for me to smile back.

Neither of us feel the need to speak as we keep our gazes locked on the night sky. The cool air wraps around me, and it's one of the most soothing embraces after Rihan’s hug. Without the honking of vehicles or chatter of people, the atmosphere is peaceful.

“Oh, I forgot—” Rihan's voice interrupts the silence. I turn towards him just as he removes the lid from a bowl I had overlooked. My smile widens when I see kheer. I take a spoonful and almost cry at how good it tastes. It's not the first time he has made it, but each time feels like I'm eating it after a long time. I have had a sweet tooth since childhood, and kheer always reminds me of home.

“Mom used to make it for me a lot, particularly on my birthdays.” I look down at the bowl, blinking rapidly as tears blur my vision. “But she stopped when she found out about my drug use.”

"You can let me know what you want to eat. I'll make it anytime."

Such sweetness emanates from his words, I find it hard to hate him. Not that I can ever truly hate him. But I know I should. What's worse is that he doesn't even realize how much I have started to cling to every gesture, every word, every smile of his.

I set the empty bowl on the table before leaning back against the chair and closing my eyes. Time seems to slip away faster now that I don't want it to end. My eyelids grow heavy no matter but I force myself to stay awake. This moment, with Rihan, I don't want to miss it.

"Mira?" he calls in a low voice. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't dare look at him. I am afraid of what's coming next. He always makes me want to share everything with him, but that cannot happen.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know how stars are born?"

Okay, this is unexpected. I sit up straighter and shake my head, curious to know the answer.

"In space, there's dust and gas. They accumulate into clusters due to gravity. When these clusters grow too big, they collapse under their own weight and stars are born. Do you see what I am trying to tell you?"

I shake my head again, trying to understand where this is going.

"Your addiction is not going to define you. You may feel like your life is collapsing, but you're going to shine brightly, just like a star."

I stare at him, my throat closing up. I don't know what to say. If I utter even a word, I might start crying for real.

My attention shifts to his hand resting on the table, and a sudden impulse to reach out to him grips me. Without a second thought, my hand inches towards his, the tips of my fingers grazing his knuckles. And something inexplicable happens.

A rush of electricity shoots through me, making me pause. I glance up, and meet his gaze. He says nothing but places his hand against mine, palm to palm, as I weave my fingers through his.

At this moment, he holds the world together long enough to save me from myself.