When I returned home that morning, Bridget was waiting at the door. She gave me a huge hug, saying that she was sorry for what happened the night before. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She was so worried. 

And the next three days were a whirl-wind, and they lead up to the biggest blow of all. 

The wake and funeral.

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Bridget had laid out a white blouse with black lace and a black skirt for me to wear to the funeral. I put it on silently, trying to keep the tears down. Eventually they came, but I promised myself that I wouldn't cry at the funeral. 

Adam drove us to the church, and the priest who was speaking at the funeral was waiting for us. A few of the people from Blue Lake were starting to arrive.

The priest approached me, a sad look plastered on his face.

"Ms.Carter, I am deeply sorry for your loss." He said.

I forced the tears back. "Thank you. He's...in a better place now."

"I was wondering if you would like to say your final goodbyes before we let others see him. You, and Ms. O'Neal."

I nodded solemnly. He lead me to a small room that was dimly lit by candles. I went inside, and he shut the door behind me, wanting to give me privacy. 

It was strange to be in this silent room, with only the body of my father. He looked pale, and surprising calm and at peace. 

I felt tears fill my eyes as I whispered, "Hi Dad."

Of course he didn't respond, which tore at my heart. 

"Are...are you happier up there? With Mom? I...I bet that sh-she's happy to see you. I-I know that you missed her a lot. Probably more than you miss me now." I said, kneeling down next to him. I held down a sob. I felt like I was seeing my world fall apart.

"I-I'm sorry, Dad. For all of the horrible things I said to you, for ignoring you when you needed me. I could have been with you when you crashed. I could have...I could be with you right now." I choked. I touched his hand, wishing that he could have held it.

"I didn't mean it when I said I hate you. I could never hate you. I love you, Daddy." I said, the tears finally spilling down my cheeks. "And I need you here right now."

Then I lost it.

"Wake up, Dad. Please, I need you here. I love you. Please, Daddy. I'm lost, Dad. Please just come back." I said, unable to control the sobs that shook my entire body. 

I whispered, barely able to speak. "Come back, Daddy. I need you. I need you..."

I blinked tears out of my eyes. I felt as though I would collapse if I stood there any longer.

Therefore, I said two final words.

"Goodbye, Dad."

I ran out of the room, and Adam immediately spotted my tears. He tried to capture me in his arms, but I pushed away from him. I sprinted to the womans' bathroom in the church, and hid in one of the stalls, bawling like a baby. 

I heard a knock on the stall door. 

"Hadley? Please open up." Bridget's soft voice echoed in the tiled room. 

"I want to be alone," I spit out.

"Please open the door, Hadley. I really want to talk to you."

"No, please, Bridget. I want to be alone."

Someone else entered the bathroom. 

"Can I talk to her alone, Bridget?" Adam said. 

Bridget agreed, and left. 

Adam talked in a soothing voice, making my tears flow a little more reluctantly. "Hadley, can you open the door for me?"

"I want to be alone."

"OK." He said. "Well, do me a favor."

I thought these were interesting words coming out of his mouth. 

"Slide your hand underneath the door."

I did as I was told, sniffling. He grasped my hand in his, and I had never felt so sure of him being there. It was like my hand was getting a hug. 

"You're not alone, alright?" He whispered. "I'm here for you. Bridget's here for you." He gave me hand a gentle squeeze. 

"I can't stop the fact that your father is gone, Hadley. Death...is just another part of life." He explained. "But I can help you stop the pain. I know it won't be easy, but I'll be by your side. I promise." 

I let go of his hand to open the door. We threw our arms around each other as we sat on the tiled floor.

I cried into his shoulder. "It hurts, Adam."

"I know it does, but I won't let it bring you down. Can you stay strong for me, Hadley?"

I nodded. And for some reason, I laughed for a moment.

"Hey, Adam?"

"Yes?"

"You know that you're in the girls' bathroom, right?"

"Yeah, let's get out of here."

"We are gathered here today to honor and remember the life of Thomas Lee Carter." The priest recited. Adam squeezed my hand gently, making sure to remind me that he was there. He promised that he was going to be there. Forever and always.

But he won't. 

It seemed like everyone from Blue Lake showed up. It proved how small the whole town was. Everyone's eyes kept wandering to Dad's casket. I tried to avoid looking at it as much as I could. 

"Thomas was a happy child when he grew up," He began. "He always knew how to make people smile, and pick people up when they're down. I've heard of a time where he and a friend would scare their siblings on Halloween, and then they would give them extra treats." A few people in the crowd laughed quietly. "He loved learning to knew things, and had a knack for fixing broken machines, therefore he became a mechanic."

"He was married to Elise Marie Norland. They couldn't have been happier. They were married in this church." He smiled slightly as he remembered everything. "Unfortunately, Elise died during childbirth. But her beautiful memory and his strong nature live on with their daughter, Hadley." 

Adam gave my hand another reassuring squeeze.

He said a prayer, and then Bridget walked up onto the alter. She spoke about her memories of Dad, and read a bible verse. Tears were streaming down her cheeks when she finished. I gave her a hug when she sat down.

The priest came back up on the alter, and announced, "Now, Hadley Carter will perform a song accompanied by Adam Young, in memory of Thomas." Murmurs filled the room at the mention of Adam's name. 

Hey, it's a small town, but we still know good music when it hits us.

We both walked up on the alter, and Adam sat down at the piano. I stood near the microphone, trying to avoid the eyes of everyone. 

Just pretend that the only person in here is Adam. Just Adam.

"I, um, I'm H-Hadley and this is Adam. We'll be performing a song in honor of my father."

Adam started to play the opening notes of Lonely Lullaby. Thoughts buzzed around in my head so fast they were dizzying. I felt like I was going to collapse in pain. The weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I was falling.

Then I found a small sliver of relief.

Leave Blue Lake. 

Go live your life.

You are the only thing that kept me going all these years. 

Now I'm telling you that you can go.

Live your dream.

Let go.

But I can't.

Yes, you can.

'And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you.'

Instead of singing the intended song, I began singing Vanilla Twilight.

Adam and the audience looked confused for a moment, and then he caught on. 

The stars lean down to kiss you, 

And I lie awake and miss you.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere,

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,

But I'll miss your arms around me.

I'll send a postcard to you, dear,

'Cause I wish you were here.

The audience was entranced. My pulse quickened. 

Leave me behind. It's alright.

No, it's not alright. I need you here. I love you.

As many times as I blink,

I'll think of you tonight.

I'll think of you tonight.

Let go. 

No.

Let go. It's what he wants!

Something inside me...died. But it wasn't bad. The anger. The sadness. The loneliness. It died.

It was gone.

Tears that were supposed to fall weren't there.

Sobs that would have normally choked me didn't. 

The weight was gone.

Let go.

When violet eyes get brighter,

And heavy wings grow lighter,

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.

And I'll forget the world that I knew,

But I swear I won't forget you.

Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past,

I'd whisper in your ear:

Oh, darling, I wish you were here.

I did start crying then, but it wasn't sad. It was relief.

Everyone clapped, and I gave Adam a hug. We got off the alter and sat back down.

The rest of the ceremony flew by. Since this was just the wake, we had to wait until tomorrow to bury my father. But afterwards, we had a bit of a gathering so everyone could talk and eat.

I had many people come up to me and give their condolences. A few told me that I had a beautiful voice. I always tried to say thank you, but I felt as though I was in a daze. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Adam. He pulled me out of the room, and into the hallway. 

I gave him a hug, because for some reason he looked like he was going to cry too. 

"Are you alright?" I asked him. 

"I'm fine."

"I'm sorry I switched songs on you."

"I know why you did."

I kissed his nose. "Thanks for everything, Adam. You've always been so kind, but I know that you can't stay with me all the time. I never really got the courage enough to say goodbye-"

"Hadley, what are you talking about?" Adam said. "I thought Bridget told you..."

Then Bridget joined us. 

Adam let go of me and turned to face Bridget.

"You haven't told her yet?" He asked. She shook her head.

"Hadley, you don't have to leave Adam."

"But I thought he was going back to Owatonna..." I said, feeling confused. 

Bridget smiled. "Hadley, I live in Owatonna. I've been trying to tell you for a long time. But now you know-"

I threw my arms around both of them before they could respond. 

Maybe I didn't need to say goodbye.

Hey everyone!

So, if you haven't noticed (or haven't read my other author's note), Of June is winding down. And, like I mentioned in a previous note, I was thinking about making a sequel. So I would really love to hear what you think about it. 

Make sure to vote and comment!

Love, 

Luna.