After Adam left, and after I thanked the heavens for his visit, and hurried inside. I was fully prepared to yelled at, and/or beaten to the ground. But instead, the living room was empty. No beer cans, no shoes, no Dad. 

I went up the stairs slowly. I have to pass Dad's room in order to get to mine. I paused by his door. I heard sniffling and muttering. 

"What am I going to do, Elise?" He said. Elise was my mom's name. "She's gone. What am I supposed to do?" He was crying. 

"How could I do this?"

"What have I done?"

I couldn't stand seeing him like that, but I still couldn't forgive him for what he said. I did not kill my mother.

When he is looking down, I run quietly past his room and slip into mine. I shut the door, and don't bother turning on the light. My alarm clock blared the numbers 12:03. I slipped on pajama shorts and a tank-top and flop into my bed. I couldn't believe what happened tonight. And Adam said, "I'll see you later."

But when is later? Later needs to come soon.

"Hadley Carter, don't you ever scare me like that again!" My dad practically yelled at me. I snapped awake when he wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. 

How could he not remember what happened last night? Or did he, but he didn't want to say anything?

He let go of me and then kissed my forehead. "I was so worried about you. Don't you ever leave me again!" Tears were in his big green eyes. I still questioned if he truly loved me or not. 

"I won't," I said, quietly. He kissed my forehead again and said: "I'm going to be off to work. But I'll be home earlier, and I'll make dinner tonight. Stay here today, please. I promise I'll be back tonight."

I had to force a smile, but he bought it. He smiles back at me and walks down the stairs. I hear the jangle of car keys and the sound of the door opening and closing. I twisted out of my covers and ran across my cold hardwood floor. The green walls were growing lighter from the sunlight through the window. I saw my father's car pull away from our gravel driveway. I pulled on a pair of khaki shorts and a turquoise-green tank top. I always thought it was the color of the ocean. I've never been to the ocean, but I've seen the color in pictures. It's beautiful.

As soon as I leave Blue Lake, I'll go and see the ocean.

I hurried into the bathroom, furiously brushed my teeth and hair, and then ran down the stairs. I tried to make myself lay down on the couch, and watch some tv.

What if I did hit my head last night and he was just a figment of my imagination? Just my conscience telling me to go home in the form of someone I would listen to?

But he was just too real. He was so...Adam Young.

The guys on the television were arguing over some girl. Why couldn't one of them just win her over already?

I just needed to stay here. But I had so much energy.

I wondered if Adam wanted to see me again. He said 'See you later.' When was later?

Dad wanted me to stay here.

But what if Adam wanted to talk to me out there?

I practically threw myself off of the couch, yanked on my sneakers, and ran out the door. The sun was so bright through the trees, and I couldn't have been more excited. I didn't look ahead of me and I ran directly into Adam. We both landed on the ground. My back hurt all over again.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, trying to help him up. He only smiled. 

"Falling. It's kind of becoming a regular thing between us, isn't it?"

Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say us? 

"I guess." I said, as he got up and dusted himself off. I noticed that he towered over me. I was 5' 3'' and he was easily about a foot taller than I was. 

"I came here to talk to you," He said, smiling slightly. "I wanted to see if everything was ok with your dad, and if you were alright."

I felt my cheeks flush a bit. He was worried about me? 

"Thanks," I said, "but I think everything is fine." I was lying, and he could tell. After a moment, I blurted, "I'm sorry. I'm lying. But I'm not sure if you want to hear what's wrong."

"I'm all ears." He said. He was being too nice to me. No one was ever this nice. Ever.

I lead him over to the bench by the front door. He sat down next to me, soft brown eyes brimming with concern. I took a deep breath. I was going to tell an almost complete stranger about what happened to my mother. 

"My mom and dad were having dinner, and she went into labor. My dad immediately drove her into the hospital, and everything seemed to be fine." I said, trying not to look him in the eye. 

"But then something went wrong. No one ever told me exactly what happened. I was too much stress on her body," I said, tears filling my eyes and my voice breaking. "The doctors tried to do everything they could. But I ended up living and she..." I couldn't say it. Adam put a hand on my shoulder.

"Last night was my birthday. I came home from the town, and my father was laying on the couch, drunk. He normally forgets my birthday, and for the most part he did. But then he did remember. He told me that...it was my fault that my mother is dead. That I killed my mother." I said, tears streaming like rivers of pain down my cheeks. "And I'm starting to think that he was right."

I started sobbing right then. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I think I needed to cry, to release my feelings deep inside. The feelings about my mother that I needed to release. I kept them bottled up inside. But bottles break.

Adam wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder. I have cried twice now in front of Adam; I felt awful about it.

"Hadley," Adam said, softly. "Hadley, you did not kill your mother. You cannot blame yourself for her death. You should not be this hard on yourself. It's not your fault, Hadley."

"I'm sure your father didn't mean to say what he said," He said, continuing to hold my shaking body. "Maybe he's still grieving your mother's passing. Sometimes people just want someone to blame. But that doesn't mean he was right when he said it was your fault."

I pulled away from his embrace, but didn't look away from his gaze. Something inside me felt unlocked, released. A weight that I had been carrying for so long felt lifted from me. Something that was holding me down left. It was indescribable. It felt relieving. 

"Thank you, Adam." I said, hugging him. He no longer felt like a stranger.

When violet eyes get brighter and heavy wings grow lighter,

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.

And I'll forget the world that I knew, 

But I swear I won't forget you.

Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past,

I'd whisper in your ear:

Oh, darling, I wish you were here.