November 29, 2016

Nikita Kucherov is shoving cookies into his mouth at the Bolts lunch, before they team will have to play the Blue Jackets at the Nationwide Arena. He squeals with excitement and claps his hands like a little kid, swallowing a few of the cookies in one bite. I am standing with Ondrej Palat and Tyler Johnson, blinking in shock at him.

"I still can't believe he can go from THAT, to what he is on the ice?" I remark, shaking my head.

"I still can't believe he fought Krug?" Pally states. "And he did better than I did!" He folds his arms and frowns. "Not fair."

"I still can't believe it's your mom?" Jo says as he comes up behind us.

I roll my eyes and spin to him. "Get out of here, Jo!"

"Says the dangerprone cheese lover!" Jo retorts, before he wraps his arms around me, pinning my arms to the sides.

"Ah! Jo! Get off of me!" I scream.

Jo lifts me up briefly into the air, chuckling.

TJ shakes his head. "Jo, put him down."

Jo releases me and walks off from us. That's when Ryan Callahan comes up, holding a bag of Arby's and a bigger bag of Olive Garden in his hands. He looks at me first. "You going to get into any trouble today, Vladdy? Maybe a Blue Jacket chains you to the cannon or something like that?" He puts his Arby's bag down on a table and then passes the Olive Garden bag to TJ and Pally, who happily take it and join Kuch.

"Ha-ha, funny Cally," I say to him. "Remember a few weeks ago, when one of your sandwiches disappeared? You want that to happen again?"

"THAT WAS YOU?!?" Cally thunders.

I laugh. "It's got cheese, I have a problem. Though, not as bad as Kuch..." I shoot a look toward Kuch, who is humming a song to himself as he eats his cookies.

"Thanks Cally!" TJ and Pally remark.

"Yeah, don't expect this all the time. It's only cause TJ scored the ONLY goal!" Cally grumbles, before he opens up the wrapping on one of his Beef and Cheddar Sandwich. "Hello, gorgeous, it's me again, Ryan Callahan. I want you in my stomach so badly." He takes a bite. "Yummy."

I roll my eyes and walk over to where Brayden Point is sitting alone. He looks up at me and smiles. "So, who's your 'buddy' today, Brayden?"

"You!" Brayden remarks, smiling.

"Ah!" I gasp, smiling.

"Yay!" we both exclaim in unison.

"So, wanna come to get some cheese with me?" I ask.

"Only if you'll share!" Brayden says, jumping to his feet.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm going with you two!" Anton Stralman remarks, racing over.

"Stammer said one person of my choice could be with me, why not Brayden?" I whine to Stralsy.

"Because he's still young and beautiful."

Brayden blushes.

"That's REALLY creepy, Stralsy," I remarks to the Swedish defenseman shrugging.

"Come on, let's get the cheese, before Kuch finishes his pregame cookie meal, and Cally..." Stralsy says, glancing at Cally and trailing off with the raise of an eyebrow. "Cally finishes flirting with his Arby's meal."

"Why hello there, Mr. Curly Fry, you're looking extra curly today," Cally says.

No, just, no. I bite back the laughter coming up inside of me and follow Stralsy with Brayden out of the room. We walk into the dining area, where some of the Blue Jackets' staff are milling about.

Something seems off.

That's when two of them dart forward and take out Stralsy with a pan, knocking him out cold. Then they surround Brayden and I, who instinctively stand back to back. We were gonna have to fight!

"Welcome to Columbus, Namestnikov and Point," someone snarls. "It'll be a fun time. Where's your precious hockey stick?"

I snap my head to the side, finding myself looking at one of the ex-Columbus Blue Jacket players, Ryan Johansen. He shoos the personnel back and steps forward, toward the two of us, before they close behind him once again, blocking our escapes. I lift my hands up, which ball into fists.

"Don't make me fight you again!" I snap.

Ryan Johansen rolls his eyes and halts a few feet from where I am. "A fight, if you'll recall, you lost BIG TIME. Now drop those fists and come with me."

"You're not taking Brayden!" I snap at him.

"Who said he was coming with us?" the ex-Blue Jacket sneers, with a sinister smirk, before nodding and winking to his friends.

They swarm Brayden, who attempts to fight back, but he is soon bound with ropes and gagged with a cloth. I gasp and turn back to Johansen, who is snickering evilly. "LET HIM GO!" I snap, stomping my foot.

Johansen shakes his head and stalks closer to me. He easily grabs me around the neck and begins to pull me off with him.

"TJ!! HELP!!" I scream out as I am once more finding myself in a heap of trouble. Even though I brought Stralsy with me! But like that was gonna make a difference. I'm all talk, but no action... I keep meaning to talk to Boyler or JT about getting fighting tips for standing up to guys-not-named-Brendan-Gallagher.

I am dragged through the area, into an elevator, where I am slammed against the side of it by the bigger Johansen. Another person joins us, the face of Dalton Prout, who'd rudely elbowed Kuch last season. He takes over for Johansen, who scurries off of the elevator with a sarcastic wave goodbye.

"To bad you didn't bring Yzerchuk with you, Pretty Boy...looks like you'll just be blown away by us!" Prout snarls, whipping out a chain link, which he wraps around my wrists, pinning them behind my back after the doors close.

And here we go again with the whole 'bad guy hockey players from teams find it necessary to gag me' ordeal as he tapes my mouth shut. I'm seriously panicking of course, but I'm also hardcore rolling my eyes right now. The hostage routine featuring Vladdy Namestnikov needs to stop. For real.

Insert heavy sigh here.

The elevator jerks to a stop at the chosen floor and opens. Prout grabs me and drags me into the top level of the arena and over to where the team's cannon is positioned. He roughly shoves me to the ground near it, before he walks over to it and withdraws a series of chains. Then he grabs me and proceeds to chain me to the cold hard metal.

Seriously?

How friggin' brutal are these villains?

And who is going to save me this time? I can only wonder as I scream into the bloody tape over my frickin' mouth!

And that's when I hear Jazz music playing. Prout perks up as he finishes hooking the last chain in place around me and the cannon. He eventually shakes his head and pushes me around to face the ice below.

"Too bad your team won't have you or the magical stick to use tonight....what a pity."

Prout snickers and then leaves me to struggle uncomfortably in the chains on the back of the team's cannon. "And hopefully you don't go deaf after hearing our cannon go off like 500 times!"

I scream into the tape, hoping that someone will find me and save me before the game. And also find Brayden and Stralsy!

Sure enough, as if on cue, three people skid onto the deck where the cannon and I are with Prout. It's TJ, Jo and Alex Killorn!

"Let the blond kid go!" TJ snaps.

"Or else--" Killer adds on.

"Your mom!" Jo finishes, snapping his fingers in a sassy 'Z' formation way as he bobs his head back and forth.

Prout snorts. "Yeah...you and what army?"

I crane my neck to the side, so I can see TJ, who pulls Yzerchuk out. Let's see here, readers, how much do you think Ryan Johansen, Dalton Prout and the Columbus Blue Jackets know about Yzerchuk?

Turns out. Nothing more than he's my special hockey stick who helps to fuel the offense - you know the mundane information. But not that I am the ONLY one who can use it and TJ is able to figure that out with a bluff.

"Ah, there's Yzerchuk!" Prout remarks, glancing at me.

"Yeah, and don't make me use him!" TJ snaps, shifting his hand along the shaft of the stick to the 'N' in the middle of the series of emanating curved blue lines. "In Yzerchuk we--!" He begins to say.

Prout suddenly loses his cool. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, man." He raises his arms up in a 'chill out' fashion. "Okay, okay, you guys can have him. Maybe instead later on I'll just target Kucherov again."

TJ opens his mouth up and says, "In--"

"Okay, or I'll just accidentally score a goal for y'all. Bye!" With the Prout races off, leaving them alone.

TJ lowers Yzerchuk, chuckling and sharing a look with Jo and Killer, before bolting over to me. They get me unchained from the cannon and pass Yzerchuk to me. I remove the tape for my mouth and wipe off the adhesive stickiness that I can feel on my lips onto the sleeve of my shirt.

"Guess Prout doesn't know everything. Ha-ha," TJ remarks.

"Lucky for us," I say.

"Lucky for you," Killer remarks, slapping me gently in the chest.

"Lucky for your mom." Jo flashes a smirk.

"TJ, can I tape HIS mouth shut?" Killer asks.

I pass him the tape that had been over my mouth. "Here."

TJ just laughs as Jo whines, "NO! Ewwww! It's got Vladdy cooties on it!"

We begin to walk back towards where Brayden, Stralsy and I had been ambushed. Stralsy is sitting up rubbing his head, while Brayden is nowhere in sight. But that's when 'super guesser Killer' springs into action and throws open the kitchen door, finding the poor rookie inside of the big freezer. "Found Pointer," Killer reports with a boastful tone.

"Good job! How do you do that?" TJ complains.

The two of them get Brayden out of the freezer and get the bindings off of him. Then we all help Stralsy and head back to the dining area, where Kuch and Cally are being tended to by Pally.

Pally sees them enter and sighs in a HUGE relief. "Thank God! Cally and Kuch ate too much and have tummy aches!"

TJ moans. "Really? You two got to learn! But who wants to go on a tour with Brayden, Vladdy and I?"

"And Yzerchuk!" I exclaim. "Oh, wait!" An idea pops into my head and I step forward and touch Cally and Kuch with the tip of Yzerchuk. "In the name of Wayne Gretzky and by the powers of Yzerchuk, I heal you both!"

Cally and Kuch sit up at once, feeling better.

"That stick didn't just--" Pally grumbles, before stumbling backward to the ground.

I step up to him and touch him with Yzerchuk. "Don't worry Pally, I got you too!"

Okay, so let's pause for a second, because I know you all are like, 'What's Columbus' Yzerchuk?' 'Was it the cannon?' 'Was is Ryan Johansen?' And all of those are wrong. I haven't yet met Columbus' Yzerchuk, but that's about to change on the tour.

So, it's the Triplets, Brayden, Jo and I going on the tour with the others staying back to get ready. Pally has a hold of Kuch's hand. In his other, he holds Kuchereon, his stuffed Vaporeon.

"Were the cookies yummy?" I ask Kuch.

Kuch nods, smiling. "Til I eated too much. But Yzerchuk heal me, so I good!"

We head toward our tour guide, one of the Blue Jackets, kind enough to treat us. His name is Sergei Bobrovsky, the goalie.

"Bob," Bobrovsky greets us.

"No Bob, Kuch," Kuch says with a chuckle.

"Bob?" Bobrovsky questions. "Bob." He gestures for us to follow him and we do.

As we follow him, I can hear Kuch whisper to Pally, "Bob is weird."

Brayden looks around. After all, it is his first time here. I grip Yzerchuk in my hands, just in case anyone pops out to get me again. You never know with enemy teams. So we walk through the arena with Bobrovsky, who continues to point things out, saying 'Bob' this and 'Bob' that.

As we pass by the Blue Jackets' locker room, Brandon Saad spots us and races to the door with a sigh.

"Bob, you're only going to confuse them. Use English!" Brandon snaps.

"BOB!" Bobrovsky retorts back before grumbling to himself.

Brandon sighs again and walks out to join us. "I guess I'll have to be the translator. Again. Bob can only do two things, say 'Bob' and hug..." He trails off as Bobrovsky tackles me from behind in a big hug.

"AHHHH! GET OFF!! HELP!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

Everyone laughs as Bobrovsky hugs me tightly and says, - what else? - "Bob." And after a few minutes he lets me go and gives TJ, Pally, Kuch, Brayden and Jo hugs and then finally Brandon, who puffs with a frustrated annoyance.

And then we continue on with the tour, coming to a private back room, where Bobrovsky explains in his 'Bob' lingo and Brandon translates for us, saying, "This is a private area, which is where our mighty magical gift from the Hockey Gods is."

We walk in and I step forward with Yzerchuk as Brandon steps to the side to reveal a glass box with a sparkling blue jacket. How original? I cock my head in wonder at it, marvelling at the detail as Brandan and Bobrovsky carry on.

"This is Kektort and only a few know about him, including Bob, here, the owner, me and now you all. But honestly, we trust you all with knowing, because of that," Brandon says, before pointing at Yzerchuk. "We know y'all won't steal it because you have Yzerchuk, which EVERYone knows about."

"Bob," Bobrovsky states with a snapping nod of his head.

I smile and nod, looking from Yzerchuk to Kektort, the magical blue jacket. I lift Yzerchuk up and say, "Yzerchuk, meet Columbus' Kektort."