Who needs sleep while their heart beats,

Me.

Because my broke a little every day,

Because I convinced myself that I was fine with the pain; that it didn't matter, that it was normal or right- it wasn't.

But I thought it was.

I need sleep, but insomnia gets hold of me, and makes me half of who I want to be- forgotten.

But no... Not forgotten; alone. Away from the lies and the masks and the voices and- from you. Away from the fear and the self-doubt and stress, away from people and noise and pain, away from the emptiness that burns in my breast, my chest; my heart so numb it hardly warms, the pain and fear I'll know, a love.

A heart,

A hope...

I want to do so many things, I need control but I don't have it, My arms and will too weak from lack of confidence, afraid I'll find evidence, the proof of what I've always known.

That I'm not good enough. That I'll fail.

But then you.

You changed my life, every day that I've known you. I'm broken, but not quite like you- a reflection, in a funhouse mirror or a spoon; I'm distorted, both better and worse the original, a freak.

But special.

A devils child, lizard man, a horror, and a curiosity- come see- only a nickle, or a dime...

But beautiful.

A fallen angel or ancient palace- walls and glory rotted, decayed; nothing but broken wishes and tear-filled dreams. If I dream.

Until a few brave souls saw something different.

A place of potential, talent, and wonder,of mystery and beauty, of hope and refuge from the storms that life so oftens throws our way.

And they were right.

I just needed to hear the right words, see the right light, and hope the world didn't break me.

Do I look like I've broken yet?

Who needs sleep while their heart beats,

Me.

And you.

Because you are beautiful too.

You are talented and courageous, and-

Hope for your someday. I will too.

Because I've seen what you've done so far. I'm not suicidal because of what you've done so far. I don't have depression, or self-loathing, or self-doubt because of what you've done so far.

You already helped give me my someday, and many more to come.

Don't give up hope. Just get some sleep.

Tomorrow comes soon enough, and thanks to you, every one of you, I can face it.

After all, who needs sleep while their heartbeats?

Both you, and me.

Thank you.

________________________________________________________________________________

(A/N) Hey.

So... mental health is fun. I feel better than I have in months, but I didn't realize I was starting to feel bad. I mostly felt empty and whatever emotion I had on my face at theme was what I felt in my chest. Most of the time that meant I was walking around in a daze. 

I was feeling super sad one night, and my brother absolutely destroyed my confidence in my writing skills, but then... Well, my family had a peaceful evening. We just... sat together, calm and happy. And I saw a few poems read aloud on youtube... I cried more that night than I have in the past seven years of my life combined. But I felt so much better the next day, it was like I lost one hundred pounds overnight. 

I guess I was slipping into depression, but... This came out in half an hour after I finished crying and started writing. 

I hope you enjoy it, sept-mates.

Till next time,

~ShadeFinder<(0^0)>