If only. 

It's short, 

To the point,

People understand it.

If only.

It's a wish,

A dream,

A desire,

A longing.

If only.

It hurts, 

It heals,

It comforts,

It steals.

If only.

If only...

I hear that word a lot,

Whether spoken or expressed,

And it seems to me that,

"If only" is bad for you.

It hurts to mention, 

Makes others uncomfortable,

And steals the most important thing from us;

Motivation.

If only my car ran...

If only he liked me too...

If only I wasn't this way...

If only I could see her face...

If only is dangerous, 

It's a wish for something not had,

It steals our desire to work,

Our willingness to progress,

And leaves us stagnant in a pool of apathy.

If only...

And yet it still haunts me.

I know what "If only's" do, 

I remember vividly how my life was worsened by each one,

I gave up "If only's" long ago,

But now they're back.

If only I could hear HER,

See HER,

Hold HER,

Touch HER,

Kiss HER...

My mind wanders in "if only",

Trapped in it's domain like a fish on a hook,

Because my longing never stops,

And we only get farther apart. 

I won't let it happen...

Can't let it happen...

I've seen the effects too often not too care.

A friend,

A brother,

A sister,

An aunt...

Each honorary and important,

Not of my flesh, but close,

Each lost to the past and my memories, 

Relegated to serving as background characters,

In the story of my life.

I can't lose HER,

Not the way I lost them,

Because if I do then I've lost,

And nothing can save me,

From "If only".

____________________________________________________________

(A/N) Hey there! I'm not dead! I'll get another one up soon-ish, I hope. School makes my 'schedule' weird. Sorry for the long absence. If you have any questions or comments, please let me know either here or via PM, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

Till next time!

Your Poet,

~ShadeFinder<(0^0)>