A/N As you may have noticed. This is a real story. It's very therapeutic to write some events down. And I've been thinking about this evening a lot lately. That's why I'll throw it in here. These events happen a few months after the last chapter. I'll cover these soon. But I really needed to get this off my Chest.

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We woke up on my Couch that day. Her Alarm started going off and she immediately tried to turn it off. Of course, it still woke me up and since Jake wanted us to come around in like one and a half hours I wanted to get up. But as soon as I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes I just felt a hand on my back pulling me to lie back down. I didn't really want to assemble with the boys that fast anyway since I couldn't really "Get rid of them" the night before until it was time to sleep, which kinda sucked but I understood that she wanted to be around them too since she doesn't get the opportunity to see all of us that often. So I laid back down again. I wasn't tired at all because a) when she's around it's s easy to fall asleep even tho I've got problems with that every night and b) she's got my adrenaline Pumping when she's around anyways.

For a Moment I wanted to stop time. Even though I felt pretty safe about our feelings and connection towards each other I didn't know if I will experience something like this with her ever again. I'm still traumatized when it comes to people. However, she managed to get rid of all of these negative feelings about myself and letting someone near me and all I wanted to do was enjoy this little moment because I knew it wouldn't really last long and that we don't really have some "alone-time" anytime soon.
We didn't talk much, we just snuggled up and enjoyed some moments of comfortable silence and personal attention. I thought about how lucky I was just being able to have that kind of connection with a human being and having this human being feel something similar was a jackpot.

But if things seem that perfect something just has to mess it up soon...
Half an hour had passed and we had to get up and ready to walk over to Jakes house. The Boys were texting all over our Phones which really messed up the Moment since she didn't turn off her sound. I really didn't want to because I needed a break from hanging out with so many people but I knew it wouldn't happen anytime soon.
As soon as we arrived we started baking cookies and I felt her getting more distant again every second. I didn't know what it was but it made me kinda sad. I enjoyed the last few Moments of her being close before we were done baking and watched a strange anime on Netflix.
I laid down on the Couch and waited for the others to come over too. And as soon as they did, I mean I wouldn't want to say I really wanted her to sit next to me but I did. But instead, she snuggled up with one of the guys texting his friends over his phone. I didn't really like the stuff we were watching and no one really seemed to notice me anyway, since the three of them were having a great time. I started to really don't like this day but I made myself feel better thinking about the facts that the next day was planned out to be our day of working for her project and a lot of other stuff I had planned. Some of it was actually really nice and this day I was waiting and preparing for the most.
So the Day didn't really start in a good way but it won't get better...
We headed to the next city to go ice skating. I actually like ice-skating and I was quite good at it but I wasn't looking forward to it because a) there were like thousands of people and b) I knew I wouldn't see her for the next 4 hours.
We arrived and I already had an eye on Mike. I knew they've both been talking and he was asking her out for Netflix and chill sessions for the weekend which I thought I prevented...and yeah, maybe it's just me but as soon as we went in they've probably had the most romantic Ice-skating-date there was. I told my best friend to also be there this evening with his friend so I at least had some kind of company...
I did some stuff with him but the others all left me alone in like no time. I am not even kidding. I went off the ice for probably like 45minutes
and no one even noticed.
Anyways this horror trip went by and I tried to regain my Confidence with the fact that we'll still have the next day for ourselves...
For the evening I hosted a little party for all of the boys and we started playing a drinking game which I made earlier that day. One of the tasks was kissing someone. The Body-Part didn't matter so if you feel uncomfortable you could just kiss the hand or cheek of someone.
I mean, I kinda hoped she would get it since I wanted to know what she'd do. And she already got it in the second round, which meant that she was still sober. And I didn't even have the time to be curious about what she'd do because she just grabbed my Face and kissed me like it was nothing.
My head just went completely offline for some seconds there. I just had to process what just happened. That really boosted my confidence in myself.
The longer we played the more I actually wanted them all to go home. The boys and especially Soph started getting drunk and she didn't really notice me the whole evening after that. I tried talking to her couple of times but she just ignored me all along and didn't stop talking to the boys.
I mean, yeah she was drunk but it still hurt quite a lot. And the more she drank the more she would cuddle up with mike and hold his hand and be all
over him.
She told me to tell her if something was bothering me before so I texted her that her actions bothered me and that it hurt but she didn't stop.
Finally, Mike had to go to the Bathroom and I took the Opportunity to take his place to be next to her and to prevent this stuff from happening.
But she just didn't want to be with me because as soon as Mike came back she stood up and sat beside him again. That shit hurt.  Jake told me he wanted to leave and I was happy because it would make Mike leave too but little did I know...
As soon as they all got up to leave Mike came to me and told me that he'll bring Soph back to me in the Morning at 11.
Suddenly I was all sober again. What did he just say? I politely asked him where he thought she would go. He looked me dead in the eyes and told me that she'll go with him to watch movies and sleep at his place. You can tell, I was upset. I told him that this definitely wouldn't happen.
Who does he think he is taking my girl with him. I knew what he had planned for her. I'm not stupid. He doesn't love her. I just wanted to have some
fun since he's a sad 20 y/o virgin. Trying to hold back my feelings and tears I took her to my Bedroom to ask her about this and whether she was serious right now. The whole evening I was holding on to the fact that at least she'll be with me overnight and now she wanted to leave me all alone?
But she really wanted to go with this dude. I already knew I lost her. There's this Psychological fact that when you laugh you automatically look to
the person you feel the closest to in the Room and no, she didn't look at me.
My heart was screaming please don't go but I didn't want to limit her. I wanted to give her the space she told me she needed.
She must've noticed that something was wrong because she made me look in her eyes my taking my face in both of her hands. She looked me deep in the eyes and told me not to worry about Mike and promised me to not let him near her and that nothing would happen. Being the caring person I am, I told her that she could do whatever makes her happy but she just repeated her Promise and even before I could say something pulled me closer and kissed me again. I was shaking. This time it wasn't a stupid drinking game. This time was real. This really upped the value of that promise quite a bit.
Even though I needed to reboot my Brain for a sec, of course, I kissed her back. This was a Moment I've also kinda been waiting for, for Weeks.
I feel like this could have gone on for a little while but guess who knocked on the freaking door. Yeah, you right...Jake. I really like this guy but at that moment I was a little bit pissed.
After he then successfully said goodbye we had a mike standing in the Door waiting for Soph to leave with him.
When they left I told him to get outside and see if the uber was there but I pulled Soph back for a second. My Heart still Screamed at me to tell her to stay but I just couldn't. I mean, yeah I regret it. But it wouldn't have changed the situation anyway. I held on to her Promise and to his promise to bring her back to me in the Morning. I hugged her for quite a long time since I didn't want to let her go. She then kissed me again and told me not to worry. But when they both left me, Mike giving me a disgusting " I won" grin, something inside me broke.
I was down, I really was. This day was bad overall and all I was happy about was to be alone with her in the evening. But now I wasn,t alone with her, I was all alone. I had to clean up the mess the party made all alone and I couldn't sleep for the WHOLE night. My Adrenaline was pumping and I couldn't get ANY rest. So at 7 am I switched over to my Couch and watched some Netflix shows even tho I couldn't concentrate on them anyways.
I Waited out EVERY MINUTE until 11. I thought I might have made it but well. It turned 12 and I texted her asking where she was. She told me they were in the city, like all of them. Yeah, that's right. All of them except for one. ME. They took 2 of the guys to their Trains. and when it turned
2 pm I asked her where she was again. She told me that they would eat something together. 4 pm She told me they were heading home.
5 pm Jake came to me telling me that she went to Mikes house again. 6 pm she told me she would just shower real quick.
8 pm no messages. 10 pm Jake asked me what we were doing and I had to tell him that she did never show up.
I was Sad, yes. I had so many nice plans for that day and I looked forward to it for MONTHS. I waited the whole day out knowing that my "friends"
were doing stuff together without me. I put so much effort in the planning of that weekend and the party but no one really ever thanked me for anything.
It was just there.
Around 11 pm she told me she was sorry. That she felt like shit the whole day, that one of the guys messed up the times and that she fell asleep after showering. I Forgave her, of course. I do believe in second chances. But things would get a lot more complicated the next day...
...