It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. ― Seneca

Chapter 11.

To Risk and Dare.

It was five days into her stay at Bath, and much as Beatrice hated to admit it, she was enjoying this visit. If only her mother wouldn't keep winking and nudging her. But Lord Woodworth was not as much of a stick in the mud as she had supposed. He was interested in conversing with her, and they had spoken of a great many subjects. They also discovered they were equals when it came to chess, and had each lost and won an equal amount of games.

Charles was educated, having studied and traveled abroad. He shared his experiences with Beatrice, listening to her in return. Beatrice often caught herself with the thought that if her mother really knew what the two of them were talking about she might have thrown a fit. For Mrs. Llewelyn did not approve of Beatrice's interest in politics and philosophy and would have been mortified to hear her debating with Lord Woodworth on various opinions and views. As it was, when in company, Charles and Beatrice kept their conversations to the weather and local gossip. But when walking or playing chess, they spoke of things that were more interesting.

So it was with great surprise Beatrice came with her mother to yet another concert, they were met by only the Duke.

"Is Lord Woodworth not well?" Mrs. Llewelyn inquired.

"He is well, thank you," the old Duke smiled. "But some urgent business has called him back to Wales and he will most likely be gone for some time."

"What a pity," Mrs. Llewelyn sighed. "Business can be so tedious at times."

"I should say," the Duke chuckled. "He did pass on his regards to you, Miss Morton."

Beatrice smiled and secretly hoped that since Lord Woodworth was gone from Bath, her mother would decide to leave as well. There was so much she wished to tell Catrin and somehow a letter wasn't good enough.

***

Bad luck seemed to be haunting Charles, and he didn't know how to handle it. Just when things started getting good for him something had to happen to completely ruin it. Charles was a man who always had everything under control, and this new inability to keep up with recent events was driving him mad. First his Cinderella had run off and he didn't know where to find her, and now just when he was starting to enjoy Miss Morton's company, Elwyn had to decide to start pulling his old tricks again. Tricks that made Charles uproot himself from his comfy time in Bath and return to Wales and to Llys Gwyn.

Thanks to this he was in a terrible mood when he arrived at the castle. Marching up the stairs he burst into the tiny room where his cousin spent his days.

"Seriously, when will you understand that suicide is the greatest of all sins?" He shouted at Elwyn. "Why must I constantly be uprooted and dragged out here because of your selfishness and self pity!"

"There is no need to shout," Elywn reprimanded in his monotonous voice. "I never asked you to come here."

"Indeed, you did not. Raj wrote and begged me to come. Elwyn, you can't do this, you can't keep trying to kill yourself!"

"Let's hear you say that when you have ended up like I have," Elwyn retorted.

"You are the Earl of Llys Gwyn, you cannot behave like this! It is irresponsible and childish! What will happen to your lands if you die? Remember you were your father's only son."

"My uncle will take care of it."

"Oh, doesn't he have it all planned out." Charles threw himself down in the chair opposite his stubborn cousin. "Elwyn, you are the closest thing I ever had to a brother. In my lonely childhood you were the one person who made life fun for me. You would come over and visit or invite me to see you, and we would play together and have so much fun. I know our lives turned out very differently, but no matter what, I still love you. You are the brother I never had. Your father was my mother's brother, we are family. In fact, you are closer to me than my father. I hardly saw him growing up, but I would spend up to several months at your estate. Elwyn, I won't let you do this! It pains me to know you think your life is a total waste because you ended up like—well like this. How can your life be a waste if it was you who kept me happy during my otherwise rather pathetic childhood? If you should die it will be a terrible blow to me. I wish you would come out of this room, out of the darkness, back into the light."

"I swore never to come out of this room, never to show myself to the world!" Elwyn's voice was hoarse.

"I'm not asking you to come out into society," Charles persisted. "Only to get out of this confounded castle!"

"Why? So everyone can start whispering amongst themselves on how I wear a mask to hide a marred face? The gossip will start circulating how the last Earl of Llys Gwyn is nothing more than a horrible beast. I cannot bear the light, it exposes me."

"Oh have it your way," Charles accepted defeat. "But you must at stop trying to end your own life!"

"No one will miss me if I were gone."

"I would miss you! If for no one else, than please continue to live for me. Who will I tell all my problems too?"

There was a slight pause, before Elywn heaved a sigh. "If you put it that way," he mumbled. "Though I know you don't find much pleasure in coming to see me."

"That is entirely untrue!" Charles argued. "If you want, I will stay here for a fortnight, keep you company. We could play chess, perhaps I will win you for once."

There was another sigh. "If you wish," Elwyn said at last. "Where were you when Raj wrote to you?"

"Bath."

"Let me guess, you were extremely bored there."

"Actually, I was not. Father introduced me to a young lady who has a bright mind and a very dry sense of humor. She was disagreeable at first. Snubbed me right from the start, said I offended her simply by existing. But once I broke past the ice we got along rather well, if I do say so myself."

"And then I ruined everything for you."

"Not really. I mean it was wonderful and all, but I don't mind sitting around here with you, even though I know I haven't got a chance at chess. At least with Miss Morton I could win once in a while."

"Is that her name?"

"Yes, Miss Beatrice Morton."

Elwyn nodded his head and turned away a little. He didn't want to show his jealousy of his cousin, who was handsome and rich and could run about courting women. He wished Charles wouldn't stay. He wished he would go off and continue flirting with Miss Morton. That way Elwyn could just kill himself in peace. It was no use trying to kick him out though, Charles was stubborn as a mountain. So Elwyn resigned himself to his bad luck and ill fate, knowing he would have to keep on living his wretched existence for at least another fortnight.

***

It had been a daring act on Beatrice's part. She had complained of a bad headache and had managed to fool her mother. Mrs. Llewelyn had felt Beatrice's face and became alarmed at how hot it was. Mrs. Jones had stated she was also not feeling well and in the end Mrs. Llewelyn had gone off to the party with the Earl and Beatrice had remained with Mrs. Jones, who had gone to bed early.

It was then that Beatrice had snuck into her mother's room and after a long and diligent search finally uncovered her precious book. Sneaking back to her room, she packed it with the rest of her things and leaving a note for her mother went out the back door with Amy.

Lord Woodworth was gone, the book was in her possession; there was no reason for Beatrice to stay in Bath. Mrs. Llewelyn had said they would remain until the winter, but Beatrice had other plans. She was going back to Derwen Goch and she would go on her own. Amy was terrified of traveling by coach, but Beatrice comforted her that they would only travel up to the first stop where a carriage would be waiting. She had written Catrin and instructed to send one.

Thus Beatrice and Amy left Bath and headed back for Wales and Derwen Goch Manor.

***

"Really, Bea, the things you come up with!" Catrin shook her head at her stepsister. Beatrice had come home the night before and had gone to bed straight away, being very tired from her long journey.

When morning had dawn, Beatrice had first thing written her mother, saying she had come to Derwen Goch safely and in one piece. Once that had been complete she had come down for breakfast with Catrin.

Catrin could not believe Beatrice actually had the nerve to take off from Bath the way she had. She'd never done something so daring in all her life.

"Mamma will dig your grave," she admonished her stepsister.

"I played it her way," Beatrice argued. "I got to know that Woodworth fellow, I spoke with him, I played cards with him; I took rides with him. And now that he is gone I think I deserve to be given some slack. I told her as much in my note and in my letter. He left on the sixth day after our arrival in Bath and even though I hung around for two more weeks he didn't show up. You know I cannot stand Bath. I got my book back and that was the end of it. Only now we must hide it somewhere so Mamma will not get it again.

"You wrote me that you were getting along with Lord Woodworth," Catrin was interested to know more about the young lord. "I told you that you might like him. All you had to do was give him a chance."

Beatrice rolled her eyes.

"Don't do that, Bea," Catrin laughed. "Sometimes it isn't good to judge people before you know them. Now tell me, what does he look like? You failed to mention his looks in your letter. Is he as handsome as the rumors say?"

Beatrice shrugged her shoulders. "He's not so bad I guess. He's pretty tall and his features are bearable. He has fair hair, so fair sometimes I wonder that it isn't white."

"What color are his eyes?"

"Not like I would know."

"Why, didn't you notice them?"

"No, I was too busy trying to find his eyebrows. They are so light; it looks like he has none. Even his eyelashes are blond. It's a little unsettling if you ask me."

Catrin laughed and shook her head. "You are far too critical of people, dearest Bea."

"That I am," Beatrice agreed. "How splendid it is to be here with you and not have Mamma. I wish it could always be like this."

"Enjoy your days of peace while you can," Catrin pointed out. "She'll be over here in no time and will leash all of hell down upon you."

"It's so hard to fight dragons when they are your own mother," Beatrice said with a sigh.

"Bea!" Catrin gasped. "To compare Mamma to a dragon!"

"What would you compare her too?"

Catrin thought and thought and at last let out a sigh of defeat. "Dragon is about as good as it gets. Speaking of dragons, I have some little gossip to give to you as well. It concerns Llys Gwyn."

"Oh?" Beatrice rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Did you see the devil come over to visit the Earl and drink the blood of fair maidens?"

Catrin giggled. "No, noting quite so drastic. It was about a week after you had departed and I was bored and decided to try and venture out into Blethyn territory on my own. I wanted to see if I would actually be able to do it without you."

Beatrice smiled. It was about time her stepsister began showing some sort of gumption, even if it was something as simple as riding into Llys Gwyn by herself.

"I came up to the castle," Catrin continued. "And leaving my horse afar off, I walked up to the fortress to try and get a better look at it. At one point I heard the sond of hooves approaching and hid behind a tree. What should I see but a man riding up? He was not the officer we saw on our last visit. This man was younger and dressed in expensive clothing. He didn't ride up to the gate, but dismounted and walked up to one of the towers. He pushed on the wall and it turned out to be a door! A hidden, secret door. What was more, it wasn't locked. He walks inside with the horse and shuts it behind him."

Beatrice was intrigued. "Did you ever go back there?"

"I did once," Catrin nodded her head. "I went over to the tower and watched for a long time, but nothing happened, so I returned home and waited for you."

"For heaven's sake, why didn't you enter the tower?"

"Beatrice Morton!" Catrin shook her head. "I could never! That would be trespassing in its purest form."

"You're just too scared to do a little exploring," Beatrice laughed.

"I am not!" Catrin retorted. "You wouldn't have gone in if you had been in my place."

"You don't know what I would have done," Beatrice laughed. "It is a well known fact that I am braver than you."

Catrin, upset at the fact that Beatrice was teasing her, retorted, "If you really are so brave then I dare you to go up to that tower and walk inside the hidden door."

"Oh," Beatrice lifted her right eyebrow. "You dare me?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Very well!" Beatrice rose from the table with a determined look. "Then off to the tower we go, once we have changed into our riding habit of course." With those words she marched from the table. Catrin, quite horrified that Beatrice might actually carry out the dare ran after her.

"Bea, wait, I was only teasing!" She called.

Beatrice didn't heed her however, and half an hour later the stepsisters were riding up to Llys Gwyn.

"Bea, oh do let's turn back," Catrin pleaded as they stopped by the old hanging tree. Beatrice shook her head. They dismounted and tied the horses to the old oak. On foot they crossed the border and entered Blethyn territory. Walking briskly, the two girls took the road that led to the castle and at last came up to the looming fortress.

"Which tower is it?" Beatrice asked.

"Bea, think of what you are doing?" Catrin pleaded.

"Show me the tower, Catie, or I shall try them all."

Catrin pointed to the largest, highest tower. The two girls walked up to it.

"What if you go in there and never come back?" Catrin grabbed Beatrice's arm.

"Then write something nice about me on my tombstone," Beatrice replied.

"Bea, I am serious! I was only teasing when I dared you."

"A dare is a dare," Beatrice replied. "And you know I never pass them up." She broke free from Catrin and walked up to the tower. She pushed on the wall and discovered it truly was a secret door. A secret door that for some reason was unlocked.

"How odd," Beatrice couldn't help from thinking. She turned and glanced back at Catrin, who shook her head pleadingly. Beatrice smiled at her and turned to gaze inside. A flicker of torches illuminated the bare darkness.

Takinga deep breath, Beatrice walked inside the tower and shut the door behind her. l