When Kei got back home from visiting Tadashi and Akiteru on Sunday evening, he didn't expect to find his mother and father there of all people. They rarely ever showed up, and when they did it was either to tell him something was going on, or to ask him for a favour (such as playing piano for some fancy business dinner or event, or going along to give a 'good appearance'). He hadn't heard a word from them the entirety of the time he'd been at Nekoma, so entering the house to see them was a surprise.

He stiffened, first making his way into his room to put down his bag and headphones, before making his way into the kitchen. "Otou-san, Okaa-san. It's good to see that you are doing well," he told them, plastering on a fake smile. It was the very same one he spent so long perfecting, so he could uphold the 'perfect son' act for them when they went out. "What brings you here? Is everything alright with work?"

Kei's mother looked over from the table where she was holding a mug of tea, beaming at him and nodding. "Yes, everything is going really well for both of us. Things are thriving, and we're further ahead of schedule than we thought. We just wanted to check in on how you're doing at school," she said, a brightness in her voice that Kei was not used to hearing. Or, that he hadn't been used to hearing until recently, when everything was going exactly how his parents wanted it to.

"I'm doing good at school. My grades are good and I've been told I'm understanding the content really well," he said, going over to sit at the table beside his father. There was no need to say anything about friends or things like that, simply because they wouldn't really care.

The man didn't smile at him when he came over, didn't provide any warm greeting, and grunted in approval at what Kei said. "Just as we expected from you," he told him, patting his back just a little too rough to be considered affectionate. "You've done well, and you've taken good care of this apartment. I've talked with your coach as well, and he's impressed with your progress playing volleyball. We know how much you were looking forward to going to that school Karasuno with your little friend, and your mother and I have been talking a lot recently about work and your future. Things are looking good for us, and we have more plans to expand across Japan and into Europe and the America's in the next couple of years. We will be moving around a lot, and though I don't doubt your work ethic, we believe it will be too detrimental to your learning if you keep on changing schools."

Oh, of fucking course. So this was what they wanted to talk about, after all. They never really seemed to care about him as a person, only that he was going well at school and could continue being their perfect son. Tsukishima knew his father never wanted him, that he was the mistake, and his whole life he'd done his best to make up for that. Ever since he was a child he put in his all, even when his parents didn't care to see the results, and he had no reason to stop now. Still, this conversation was all to familiar to him, all too much like the one he'd had five weeks ago when they told him he would be moving to Tokyo. It meant that it would either be a very good, or a very bad conversation, and Kei was scared.

He didn't let the smile fall, only tensed up and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "I agree, Otou-san, it would be preferable not to be moving schools a lot," he said politely, before looking to his mother who clearly wanted to be the one to give the news by the way she was having trouble staying still in her seat.

"Well, like your father said, we've been talking about what to do with you. You're a responsible young man, and we trust you to take good care of yourself no matter where you are. We've decided that if you would like, you can move into an apartment in Miyagi and go to Karasuno instead! You just have to tell us, and we'll organise everything for you. You can be going there and all moved by the start of next week," she told him happily, the tone of voice just a little to fake to be genuine excitement for him.

Kei's eyes widened, and his smile faltered, before it fell into a frown. "What do you mean? You can't be serious," he responded, unable to keep looking at them and instead looking at his hands. "I've only just got settled in here in Tokyo, and now you give me the option to go back? What about my friends here, what about my team?"

His father let out a sigh, shaking his head, and Kei knew what was coming, that there was a 'but' to all of this. He knew that, but he wasn't prepared for it, and as he heard his father's next words his world once again came crashing down. "Look, it's your choice what you do, we aren't forcing you to go back if you don't want to. The thing is, with paying expenses for your apartment whether it be here or there, we can't afford to pay for train tickets to Miyagi or Tokyo every weekend. If you stay here, you'll only be able to see Akiteru and your friend every month or two unless you get a job and pay for your own train fares, and vice versa. We were willing to pay for them this first month to help you get accustomed to everything, but it's expensive and it all accumulates to a lot over a year. Every month or two or if there's something special like Christmas or birthdays, we'll pay for them, but not every weekend. You have to chose, Kei, and you have to chose today, so I'd think about how important these 'friends' of yours are to you, compared to people you've known for years."

"I see, that makes sense..." he said slowly, and it did. He couldn't expect his parents to pay for every little thing in life, even if it meant he would have to make sacrifices with who he would see. He was blessed with so much, even if he didn't feel like he was because of all the loneliness he'd felt over the years as a result of a lack of time spent with them. He understood their perspective, but hearing his father talk so lowly about his new friends made his heart ache even worse, especially when there was really only one choice that he could make. "Thank you for the kind offer, but I'm staying here, I'm staying at Nekoma. Its been nice talking, but you'll excuse me I have to unpack, wash my clothes, and prepare my bag before school tomorrow." His voice strained as he spoke, and he was just barely able to keep it together when he'd been confronted with that situation. Kei stood up, bowing before making his way to his room. Not saying another word, he shut the door, and curled up under the covers, hiding his face in the pillows.

He knew that there was really no decision that needed to be made, since how was he supposed to chose between his brother and oldest friend, and all of the new friends he'd made here at Nekoma? He simply couldn't decide between people, but rather what would be best for himself for a change. He needed to go with what his heart was telling him, and that was that he would always have Akiteru and Tadashi. They would be able to keep talking and they would be able to stay just as close no matter what. They would want him to be happy, and Nekoma was the place where he would be happy, it was the place that he could call home, the place that he belonged.

All of the hurt and pain he'd felt on that first Saturday when he'd talked to Akiteru and Yamaguchi had returned, but it was so much worse now. All he'd ever wanted was to go to Karasuno, and to be with Yamaguchi and Akiteru. Now, what he wanted to was to keep on going to Nekoma, but that meant not being able to see the two people that had supported him the longest, the two people that knew him best. He knew they could call on skype, that they would stick around, but it didn't make it any less hard.

To hell with crying being a sign of weakness, because Kei couldn't hold it back, tears flowing uncontrollably and sobs only muffled because of his pillows. If there was anything worth crying over, this was most certainly it. He still did his best to hide it though, not wanting to show his parents this side of them when they were no better than strangers.

A minute later, he heard the front door open and then close, his parents having left once again. He continued to cry though, unable to help it, but through blurred vision he pulled out his phone and pressed dial on a number. "C-Come over, please, the door is unlocked," Kei whispered, not bothering to hide the fact that he was crying.

There was a quiet "Tsukki?" but the line went dead after a few seconds of more muffled sobs and no verbal response. Lev was there less then thirty seconds later, running into the room and over to the bed. He was quick to lift the blankets and lie down beside Kei, pulling him into a hug and holding him close. The blond sniffled and curled up to him, finding comfort in the embrace. He could have called Kuroo, but he and Lev needed to talk about their family stuff anyway, stuff that he was too scared to admit to the third year, particularly when they hadn't talked since their moment on Friday.

Besides, Lev was safe, his gentle and loveable best friend, and Lev would understand where he was coming from. That's what Kei believed, anyway, though his thoughts were all scrambled and he was filled with too many emotions to make well thought decisions.

He'd at least been right about Lev being safe, because he immediately felt calmer with the silver haired male close by him. It was a relief, knowing that he had someone that cared so much that they would rush to help him and comfort him. "Tsukki, it's okay, I'm here now," Lev assured, giving his friend a small smile and rubbing his back. "I'm right here and we're going to get through it, so just breathe with me. It's okay to cry, but we want you to calm down so we can talk, okay?"

Kei nodded a little and moved to bury his face in Lev's chest instead of the pillows, letting out more sobs and tears as he struggled to steady his breathing. All the while, the taller teen was instructing him, telling him when to breathe in and out and letting him know that he was doing well. For someone so energetic, Lev definitely knew how to be patient when it counted. 

Even with the comfort, though, it was difficult for Kei to calm down. His heart ached and his mind was swarming with too many thoughts and fears and worries, things that he was unable to simply bury inside like he had so many times before. He'd started crying, started letting it all out, and now he couldn't figure out how to stop.

In the end, all they could do was wait it out until Tsukishima's sobs died down into sniffles, and the tears dried up, leaving his eyes red and cheeks stained. And then, when the world seemed so horribly dull and empty, he told Lev everything.

The walls and barriers that he'd built up had fallen, and it all spilled out without any way to stop it.

He told Lev how he'd grown up alone, how his parents never gave him the love and attention he desperately longed for and how his brother and Tadashi were left to look after for him. He told Lev about them, about the amazing people they were, about the movie nights with Aki-nii, about the volleyball games with Yamaguchi and the nights they spent together.

And then, he moved on to his plan for life. He told him how he'd dreamed of going to Karasuno, playing together with Yamaguchi, and then where he was going to go for college, and how he'd planned never to fall in love. Tsukishima explained how that had all turned to dust when he was moving to Nekoma, and about how he was scared that he wouldn't fit in. He told him about meeting the team at Karasuno and how he'd wished he was there, how he was scared of not having a place on the team when Lev got good enough to play. He then went on to explain about his meltdown afterwards when he'd decided he wanted to stay at Nekoma even if he wasn't playing, and that he wanted to be a part of the team. And about how over the past few weeks, because of him and Kuroo, Nekoma had become home to him during the day, yet Tokyo had felt so lonely at night when he was away from Yamaguchi and Akiteru, but he was afraid to open up about that loneliness.

"I was so scared to open up to you all, so scared that you would see me like this, see me so weak, and that you would laugh or push me to the side. I push people away because I don't think I'm worth the attention, or the time, because my parents never spent time with me and my only friend was Tadashi, so I can't help but feel like there's nothing good about me. I'm scared of being pushed away, of loving people and giving them my all only to be treated like filth and lose it all. You all mean so much to me, and I want to have you all in my future, but then my parents came here this evening and everything is going to change."

Kei looked up at Lev, eyes full of fear and worry, and seeming so small. It was so strange seeing him like this, seeing the emotions so raw and clear, and Lev couldn't help but pull him close once more for a tight hug. "I'm here, Kei, and I'm not leaving. You're my best friend, I promise that, and no matter what happens I'll be here for you. You've been though so much, and I know we've not been friends for long but you're like my brother. How could I ever push you away? Now, tell me what happened, because nothing could ever make me hate you."

The blond bit his lip and looked down, having to take a few deep breaths before he could begin to speak. "My parents, they gave me a choice... stay here, or move to Karasuno. But I can't keep on going to see Akiteru and Tadashi every weekend if I stay here, nor can I come and visit you guys every weekend if I go there, because the train tickets are expensive and they're already paying for an apartment."

Lev's expression softened, yet there was a sadness in his green eyes as he cupped Kei's cheek and tilted his head to look up at him. "Then there's no choice, is there? I'm glad for you, I know they'll look after you well for me even when you're away. They're your family, they've been there for you forever-"

"And no matter what, they'll always be there for me, I know that. That's why I chose to stay. They wanted me to decide, and I did. I chose to stay at Nekoma." Kei's eyes watered again as he looked up at his friend, and he gave him a sad smile. "I love hanging out with you and Kuroo and playing with the team, and I can't just leave my other best friend to be all alone. I want to stay, I've known for a while that I wanted to stay, but it hurts knowing I won't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like to, even though Aki-nii would probably drive for a thousand hours just to see me and he'll probably bring Tadashi. I just, I don't know how I can tell them, even if I know they'd support me. I don't know how I would even start, because I can't meet up with them in person like last time this happened."

"Oh, Kei," Lev sniffled, a few tears welling up in his own eyes, "you wonderful, terrific dumb-dumb. I love having you as my best friend, and I'm really glad you're staying. I'll help you, okay? We can call them up and you can explain, and I'll be right by your side when you do, so don't you worry about a thing. What about the team, and Kuroo? Do you want to tell them or not?"

He shrugged and moved to be hugging Lev tightly once more, sighing and biting his lip once again. "Thanks, Lev, I really appreciate," he whispered, nuzzling him softly and closing his eyes. "I want to tell Kuroo when I'm ready, but I don't think I can at the moment. Not when it's all so fresh and new and I've only just started opening up to him, because I have so much baggage and when I unload it, it all happens at once. It's either the whole story, or none at all, and it was draining enough telling you tonight."

"That's okay, then. Take as much time as you need, nobody is expecting you to open up straight away. Thank you for trusting me, though, for asking me to help you out. I'm glad that I can be there for you and that you won't be going through all of this alone." The silver haired male returned the hug and held him close, running his fingers through Tsukishima's hair. "How about we have dinner, and then when you've eaten we can call your brother and Yamaguchi. Then you can get some rest, okay?"

"Mhm, thank you." Kei relaxed a little more, finally feeling like he was able to breathe. It wasn't going to be easy, but like Lev said, he wasn't alone.

x-X-x

Akiteru and Tadashi had naturally been a little upset, but as Kei had hoped they took it rather well. Things didn't change from their usual routine of texting Kei in the morning and evening, calling if they had time. It was nice to know that he had both of them supporting him, even if it was hard for the three of them.

The biggest help had been Lev, though, who had taken it upon himself to be there for Kei in their place. The two had only grown closer, and after they got around to Lev talking about his own struggles living alone, they ended up with a sort of routine where after showering and finishing up from volleyball they would eat dinner and spend the evening together. They both knew how to cook, and it was helpful for them to eat dinner together since it meant Tsukishima was beginning to eat a bit better.

He'd never had much of an appetite, but when he was having a difficult time with life he had a bad habit of eating less than usual, simply because he didn't feel hungry. Especially as volleyball began to be a little more rigorous, including more fitness drills rather than just focusing on volleyball, he needed the extra energy and calories since he was exercising more than he had before.

Even all the support he was receiving from them wasn't enough for everything to go smooth sailing. The emotional struggles (which he'd kept between himself and Lev) paired in with trouble sleeping, extra school work to maintain his grades, and a drive to do well in the sport, caused him to begin overworking himself.

He was able to hide it from everyone aside from Lev (who knew since Tadashi had a habit of asking him how Kei was going, since he knew he would keep going even despite how taxing it was on his body). Yet, even Lev didn't know the full extent of his overworking, since he wanted to keep that hidden. It was a futile thought, but his parents almost taken him away from his home. A part of him, the one that still longed for them to care about him, wanted to make them proud and for that he needed to be better than he already was. He didn't care if it was detrimental, he knew it was, but he was still scared of losing Nekoma after he had almost lost it.

Kei wasn't going to tell anyone about this though, since just like before he was scared. It was ridiculous, and he knew it was, because Lev had been trying his best to help him and he knew for a fact that Kuroo wouldn't hesitate to drop everything if he knew of the situation. He didn't really have a logical reason why he was working himself like this, just many small things he wanted to achieve that compiled into one solution; work harder.

A little over a month had passed since that day, and during that time he'd continued to get closer to the team. He, along with Lev, had began to eat lunch up on the roof with the team, and the times where they were all hanging out Kei made sure not to let slip any signs that life was hard. It wasn't completely a lie, since he was actually genuinely happy when he spent time with them, particularly with Kuroo.

His feelings had only grown as time went on and he began to learn more and more about the third year. As it turned out, he was a total nerd and was in the top class of his grade, taking advanced mathematics, physics and chemistry, and the couple of times Kei had asked him how to solve a particular equation at lunch the third year had happily explained it, and just as clearly as he had taught things to him in volleyball.

Kuroo Tetsurou was caring, he was thoughtful and looked out for Kei and the other people on the team, usually noticing if something was wrong and offering his help where he could. Kuroo was gentle and patient, and even when Kei asked for help he never judged him for it, taking time to make sure he understood whatever it was. He was handsome, and though he was clearly confident, Tsukishima knew that came from a strong sense of self worth and a positive mindset about the world. Tetsurou was so many things, and Kei found himself appreciating every part of him each day, thankful that such an amazing person would want to spend time with him.

It was a breath of fresh air, whenever they got to be alone, and it was one of the few times where he felt truly relaxed and at ease. Kuroo had that effect on him, he just felt comfortable around him, and perhaps that was one of the reasons why he didn't want to share. He knew that if Tetsurou wanted him to stop, he wouldn't say no.

As well as that, even though Kei desperately wanted to let him in, to admit how hard things were, he didn't want to make things difficult for the other when Kuroo had already helped him so much. He tried especially hard to hide it around him, and for the most part it seemed to be working. In recent days he'd been finding it harder and harder to keep up the walls he'd built, though, and the only reason he'd gotten away with it was through luck, unfinished conversations and the fact that there were lots of assessments at the moment, not just for him but for Kuroo as well.

In the end, Kei just didn't want to let everyone down, not when he finally felt like he had a place he belonged. Even when it got to being on the court, he was beginning to fit in, working with Kenma on some spikes, feints and other things, working with Yaku on diving receives (something he'd never had the chance to learn before), and working with Takerora and Kuroo on blocking. In their three on three practise he did well and was receiving balls he would have missed or not been able to, and his blocks were improving too, but the biggest thing was his teamwork and communication. He would share his opinions on how to get around obstacles in a match, and if he was on their side of the court, Kai, Kenma, Inuoka and Taketora would let him time the blocks. It was a massive encouragement, but at the same time only made him feel like he needed to keep working at this level of intensity. He was working harder than most, and it showed in how he played with increasing skill and tactical thinking, but also at the end of the day when he walked home at a slower pace then the rest.

Today, though, it was a Friday, meaning he only had one last practice before he could go home and rest. Apparently it was a practice match against a school, Fukurodani, and two of Kuroo's close friends went there. Kei hadn't been able to focus very much at lunch when he was told about it, having not slept well the night before because of an assignment he had due that day that he wanted to perfect, and a test he had done in the morning he'd needed to study for.

He was exhausted more than he usually was, and in the last couple of lessons following the lunch break he had began to feel like throwing up. He'd been a bit spacey at lunch, but otherwise he'd felt fine, so Lev hadn't been worried and he'd gone to watch a movie and have dinner with his sister as soon as class finished, seeming as she didn't often have time to see him because she did modelling and travelled a lot. They weren't in the same classes, so the last time Kei saw his friend and the other people in the team was at lunch.

Kei didn't really know how he was going to get through this afternoon,  because Kuroo said that the coach had told him that morning that he would probably be playing. As much as he loved playing and he was glad that his hard work was being recognised, during the afternoon he'd really worsened, to the point where a couple of classmates had asked him if he was okay and the teacher had suggested he went to the infirmary. Kei was stubborn and didn't want to let anyone down by not be able to play, so he'd put on a smile and assured them he was okay, pulled through to the end of the day. After grabbing his things, he headed out of the room and went to get ready even despite the painful throbbing in his head, the fact that he felt an odd combination of both hot and cold at the same time, and he felt lightheaded.

As he usually did before afternoon training, Kei had gone to the bathrooms to get changed rather than the club room. He did it when he could, but of course early in the morning and at night they were locked and he had no option. So far, nobody had questioned him about his habit, which was a relief since he didn't know how he could explain if they did. Nobody else went there, so it was peaceful and it meant his headache wouldn't be worsened by anyone else. The bathrooms were close enough to the gym as well, so it wouldn't be too far to walk, nor mean descending too many stairs.

It at least meant that when he ended up heaving into the toilet in one of the cubicles, nobody else was there to see him so weak. Even following that he wasn't prepared to admit defeat and simply washed his face with the cold water, ignoring the fact that his skin was a more sickly pale and that his hands shook as he did so. The scent of vomit still lingered in the room, but there was no proof of what had happened otherwise. Kei had come this far, he had worked so hard to improve and to make both Kuroo and his teammates proud, but also deep down to prove to his parents that staying was the right choice.

He just needed to take a moment to rest, and he would be fine, that was what he told himself. Yet, as he sat down on the floor, resting against the wall, he knew he probably wouldn't be able to get up again. His body ached from the strain he'd been putting it under recently, and though he was shaking he felt unbelievably hot. He'd put on his Nekoma jacket when he'd gotten into his uniform since moments ago he'd been cold, but now it was making everything worse, making Tsukishima feel sticky and gross with sweat.

He couldn't bring himself to do anything, apart from move to be lying down on the tiles. He didn't care how gross it was, they were cold and he needed to cool down, and his thoughts were clouded through the pain of his headache.

Just as Kei had began to lose hope that anyone would find him, that he would be stuck there forever, he heard a pair of male voices, one boisterous and one softer one, and heard footsteps in the corridor. He tried to make a noise, to alert them that he was there, but nothing came out but soft whines. He just supposed that he was lucky, then, that moments later the door opened anyways, and two people stepped into the room.

Or more rather, two angels stepped into the room.

One was one of the most beautiful guys Kei had ever laid eyes on, only second to Kuroo, but Kei was biased so perhaps it didn't count. The other guy was his saving grace, immediately looking concerned and scooping the blond off the floor and into his arms. Though he looked rather owlish, with long knee pads and spiky black and white hair, he was strong and attractive in his own right.

Weakly, he grasped onto the guy's jersey in an attempt to feel more stable as they began to leave the bathroom and headed somewhere else, but his head was spinning and he found it hard to keep his eyes open. The last thing Kei remembered hearing was something about getting him to the infirmary, and sending a message to Kuroo. "Tetsu...rou...." he managed to mumble, before his world faded to black.