The car ride back home was almost silent aside from the music playing on the radio. Akiteru had noticed the way that Kei looked as soon as the teen entered, and after seeing the way that Yamaguchi looked at him he decided not to force his brother to speak. If he was upset, he probably didn't want to talk about it in the car, and it was better to wait until they were at home where the environment was better than in a car.

The entire ride home, Kei continued to feel guilty, too scared to check his phone in case he had any messages from Lev or Kuroo (who had gotten his number the day prior for 'volleyball purposes', but had yet to text him). He really didn't know how he was going to face the team when he got back, not when he felt the way he did. He was horrible for wanting to be at Karasuno instead, when the team had all accepted him and done their best to welcome him in. After all Lev and Kuroo had done for him that week, he felt like this.

They drove back to Akiteru's apartment, a place the three of them had been many times, and Tadashi immediately lead Kei to the couch. He plopped down, curling up with his legs tucked close and his chin resting on his knees. "I'm sorry," he murmured, closing his eyes and letting out a heavy sigh. His brother sat down on one side of him, Yamaguchi on the other, and they shook their heads.

"What is it, Kei? You haven't done anything wrong, there's no need to apologise," Akiteru said gently, rubbing his back and giving him an assuring smile. "Was is something to do with what happened in there? You were so excited before when I dropped you off, I could tell."

Kei shook his head, finding it hard to voice the words as the guilt tore at him from the inside. "No, I loved it, I really did," he said truthfully, opening his eyes and looking over at his brother. "I loved it, and it was everything I ever wanted. Ever since you told me about volleyball, and your time there, I dreamed of playing with Yamaguchi and spending my high-school life there. Everyone was so nice, and I just fit right in even if I was a little cold at first, and they were all so talented in their own way. I wanted to stay there, to go to Karasuno and play with them, to work together with them and help their team grow. I can imagine a future with them so clearly, and that's why I'm sorry, because I already have a team. At Nekoma, I have teammates that are nice to me, I have Lev and Kuroo, but it's just not the same and I feel horrible because they tried so hard to include me and I wish I was somewhere else."

A few tears welled up in his eyes, but he blinked them away before they could fall, not wanting to cry in front of anyone else, even these two. "And I know that it wasn't my choice to go there, but it's not a bad place and I should be grateful. I'm not alone, but every time I go back to the apartment I can't help but feel lonelier than ever because I'm not with you. I miss home, I miss you guys, I miss being able to play volleyball with you every day. Volleyball at Nekoma is fun, too, but I'm worried for the future. I'm decent at it, but how I play is similar to Kuroo's. I don't want to try and replace him, because he's so much better than I am and he's dreamt of going to win nationals for a long time, but you can't really have more than two middle blockers on a line up. That means there is only one more spot, and I know that once he gets the hang of things that nobody on the team is more suited for it than Lev. I want them to be happy, and I don't want to be the reason they can't play, but I just can't imagine things going well. I'm scared, of messing up and hurting them, of being the reason the team falls apart, but most of all I'm scared of letting them in because then they'll see how weak I really am."

His breath hitched, and once more the tears welled up. He couldn't let himself cry, because if he started to cry he wouldn't stop. Kei hadn't cried in front of someone else in years, and he didn't want to change that now. Crying meant he was weak and that he was full of too many negative emotions to hold in. Crying wasn't right, that was what he'd always told himself. He wouldn't be one of those people that cried over any little thing, he was better than that.

"Oh, Kei," Yamaguchi said softly, pulling him into a hug and gently running his fingers through his hair as Akiteru continued to rub his back. "I know it's not easy for you, being far away from us during the week. It's hard for us too, we miss having you around and it really, really sucks that we can't play together all the time. But that's just life, Kei. Changes happen, and sometimes that makes it hard, and it hurts, and you wish that things could have gone differently. The reality is, there's nothing that you can do to change the situation. Tell me, if you're completely honest, if you had the chance to go back into a world where you'd never met Lev or Kuroo and went to Karasuno, would you? Would you chose to forget them, and potentially never meet them again, just to have the team you had today and to stay here with us?"

He didn't even need to think twice about the answer. Kei shook his head, letting out a choked sob and trying his best to keep calm. "No! Not now that I've met them," he cried, finally allowing a tear to fall, and then another. "But I-"

"There you go, then. I know that it's hard, Kei, change is never easy. I know that you feel that you don't quite fit in, and that the team at Karasuno is great, but you wouldn't want to give up what you have, even when you wish that it was what you'd had. You had a clear dream of what you wanted life to be like, and nobody is blaming you for finding it hard to accept how things are now. It's natural to feel lonely, it's okay to feel scared and like you don't quite fit in. Even for me, as much as I loved the team, I struggled to see the point for a long time. All the times when I didn't get to play, it made me question what the point of even trying was," Akiteru admitted, giving him a gentle smile and moving to hug him as well.

"But then, I looked to my teammates, the people around me. We were sitting off, but that didn't make us any less part of the team or any less valuable. Do you remember that game where I finally got to play, Kei? One of my teammates had a nose bleed, nothing serious, but I had to be subbed in. I was so scared of messing up, that I would ruin it for everyone, but the people on my team assured me that because I put in the time and effort that it would turn out okay. Even those who weren't playing, they cheered me on and told me everything I needed to hear, and that was why I was able to play. It was only because of them, and the bond I had with them, that I was able to really give it my all that day. There were other games where we needed to change things up to build momentum, or people needed a break, and other people in my team filled in as well.

My point is, it doesn't matter whether or not you're a regular, because just you being there makes a difference. And next year, when Kuroo has graduated and isn't in Nekoma, don't you think he'd be relieved that you would be there to play? Or if he was injured, that he would be glad to have someone else like him on the team? I know every team is different, that every person will have different experiences. But my fondest memories from my volleyball team were the times I spent with them training. Yeah, the games were fun, and winning was special, but the people were even more so. It'll take time for you to get used to it, and that's alright, but I'm sure you'll learn to love every part about your team. You might love the idea of playing with Karasuno, and their team, but you already have a team that you would chose over Karasuno. You aren't betraying your team, nor Kuroo or Lev, you just need time to get used to how things work in Nekoma before it truly begins to feel like home for you.

In the end, I think it'll be a good thing that you aren't at Karasuno, because that means that you have another team you can learn from, and another place you can play volleyball. I'm sure if you really wanted you could help organise practice matches with them or something." Akiteru smiled and gently wiped away his tears, ruffling his hair. "Just getting this upset about it shows that you really care about Nekoma already. It shows that you have a kind heart in you, and that you want to be a good friend. You aren't weak, and this doesn't make you weak. It'll be when you pull through the challenges that shows just how strong you are."

Kei sniffled softly and curled up to Akiteru, closing his eyes and just letting his brother hug him like he used to when they were younger. "Thank you, Aki-nii, 'Dashi," he murmured, sighing softly. "I'm sorry for getting so worked up over this and ruining the mood, but it was really nice to talk to someone about this. I'm still just scared that I'll open up to them and get attached, and that I'll mess up and ruin things. I'm scared that if I open up to them they won't want me and then I'll be there away from you guys and even more alone than I was before."

Tadashi let out a quiet sigh and shook his head, cupping Kei's cheeks so that he was looking up at him. "Never apologise for that, Kei, we're here for you and we'd much prefer to help you through things. It'll help us to know that we've talked through it, and you won't have been keeping it all to yourself. And about your worries, well, if they're really friends with you, then they won't do that. Can you honestly look at them and say they're the type of people that would be so cruel as to do that? From what I've heard, they really care about you. Even if you need to take time to open up, I think they'd be glad you let them in eventually, and I don't think they would want to force you to. As well as that, I think they'd want to help you if you ever felt like this again, they wouldn't want you to be hurting and struggling alone.

I know you, and I've seen you for who you are, and I can honestly say that there's nothing there that could make me hate you. Everyone has flaws, everyone gets insecure and worries, and that just makes up who you are. Kei, you are the bestest best friend a guy could ask for, and I love you so, so much. You're not perfect, but neither am I, and neither is everyone else. Just like with Nekoma, it'll take time to get used to having new people in your life, but it'll be worth it when you do."

"I love you too, Tadashi, and Akiteru. You two are the best brothers and support that I could ask for," Kei told them truthfully, a small smile making its way onto his lips. They had always been by his side, helping him through everything, and he couldn't have come this far without their support. "I don't know what the hell I did to deserve you guys, but I'm glad I've got you by my side."

Akiteru smiled and nodded, humming softly. "Of course, and we're just as glad to have you. Now, how about we head into the kitchen, I have a surprise for you there."

"Ah, sorry Akiteru, I may have already told him about it," Yamaguchi admitted, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head. "I figured it might help cheer him up or something."

Kei sat up properly and shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said innocently, standing up and gesturing for Akiteru to do so as well. He wanted to let his brother show him the surprise even if he knew what it was, he wanted to have that memory and to be able to look back on it fondly. "I'd love to see the surprise in the kitchen. 'Dashi, can you grab my phone from my bag, please?" The freckled teen nodded, and the two brothers made their way into the kitchen where a beautiful looking strawberry shortcake was sitting in wait for them. "Oh, Aki-nii, it's your best one yet!"

Akiteru nodded and beamed proudly at his brother, clearly happy that the younger liked his creation. "I'm glad you like it! I made sure I was extra careful with the recipe and really took my time! I got all of the ingredients this morning, so the strawberries are fresh and just the way you like them. I haven't tasted it, though, but I think it turned out well. I just figured that you had a big first week, and being able to have your favourite food would cheer you up."

"It means a lot that you'd do that for me, Akiteru," Kei said with a smile, glancing over as Yamaguchi came over with his phone. He took it out so that he could take a photo of the treat, only to see that it had blown up with notifications. Most of them were from Lev, but some were from Kuroo and a couple were from Hinata (who he'd recited his number to after the ginger asked for it.

He bit his lip, feeling a little guilty that he hadn't told anyone where he was going, and quickly replied to Lev and Kuroo, explaining that he'd gone to visit some family for the weekend. He'd not thought that they would be so worried about him, but it was nice that they cared about his wellbeing.

Following that, he finally got around to taking a few pictures of the shortcake before they cut it. Yamaguchi cut a few pieces of it for them, while Akiteru made them coffee, and it wasn't long before they were all seated at the table together. After a moment's thought, he took a deep breath and pulled at the camera on his phone again. "Would it be okay if we had a few pictures? It'd be a nice memory to have, you know..."

Yamaguchi and Akiteru nodded and grinned, the pair taking some photos of just the brothers, of Kei and Yamaguchi, and then a selfie of all three.

By the end of the day and a movie marathon later, when he'd finally gotten his Instagram and Twitter up and running (both private accounts), he'd posted a few of the pictures. In each one Kei was in, he was smiling.

Even as he went to sleep that night, glad to be with the two again, he found himself looking forward to seeing the team back at Nekoma again. Change was hard, and maybe it wasn't the life he'd dreamed of, but there were still wonderful things to be experienced. That was the moment that Tsukishima Kei really began to feel that things in Tokyo wouldn't be so bad, after all.