15 - Bonds
"You're welcome over whenever you want, dear," Ichika told Kei, giving him a warm smile as she handed him a container with leftover curry from their lunch. As much as he'd tried to refuse, Kuroo's mothers had both insisted he take it and have it for dinner or lunch another time. They were rather stubborn and persistent, even more so than Kei could be, and it was nice to have such kindness shown to him. It made him feel welcomed, and like they weren't just being nice as a courtesy. Besides, he couldn't deny that the curry was good—extremely so—and he and Lev not having to cook dinner that night would be a welcome change.
The blond nodded at her words and said a quiet 'thank you' before glancing over at Tetsurou. The older teen was sitting down, and struggling to untie the laces on one of his sneakers so he could put them on again and they could walk down to Tsukishima's apartment. He'd obviously slipped them off without bothering with the shoelaces the last time he was wearing them, and so now wasn't able to untie the laces so he could put them back on. The blond couldn't help but snicker at the sight, in particular the frustrated expression on his boyfriend's face. Hearing him, Kuroo huffed and sighed exasperatedly, before looking hopefully at Kei.
After rolling his eyes made his way over, kneeling down beside the raven. He set the container down on the floor beside him, gently taking the shoe from his hands and undoing the knot the laces were in. Kei could feel the other's eyes trained on him as he did so, and as Kei returned the shoe their eyes met, gaze lingering as they both refrained from looking away. "You really need to get a pair of slip on shoes, Tetsurou," he murmured, lightly nudging him with his elbow. "Or actually untie your laces before you take your shoes off. It's a little bit more effort when you get back, but saves time later when you want to put your shoes on."
The raven laughed sheepishly, putting his shoe on and quickly tying up the laces as he spoke. "Yeah, I know. Usually it doesn't take this long though, I swear," he defended, pecking Kei's cheek before leaning to whisper in his ear. "Besides, maybe I just wanted to spend more time with my lovely boyfriend."
Tetsurou's voice was barely a whisper—breath hot against his skin, and a tone so tender that Kei felt he was going to melt—and the blond couldn't help but blush lightly as the older teen pulled away. "You can always have more time with me whenever you want to, Tetsurou, all you have to do is ask," he replied quietly, giving him a small smile nonetheless.
Slowly, Kuroo stood up, offering a hand to him once he had done so. Kei didn't hesitate to take it, grabbing the container with his other hand and allowing Kuroo to help him up. The raven didn't stop there, guiding Kei into his arms and into a brief, feather soft kiss, one that he knew had caused the light blush on his cheeks to darken considerably. He was vaguely aware that Tetsurou's mothers had left to give them some space, but the majority of the space in his mind was filled with his boyfriend, and that bright smile that didn't seem to fade from his face.
"Well, aren't I the lucky one, being able to spend time with you whenever I want," Kuroo murmured, wrapping an arm around Kei's waist and leading him out of the apartment so they could walk back down to the blond's. "Is that your way of saying you'd like to spend lots of time with me, too?"
He was warm, Tsukishima noted, and even despite the evening air being cool, it didn't overpower the feeling of warmth he gained as a result of the closeness they currently shared. Even for a little while, it was just them, together, and that was all that mattered. With a small smile, Kei shrugged, moving just that little bit closer. "Perhaps I might, just a little bit..."
"Only a little bit?" Kuroo asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow at him and smiling. "Kei, I thought I was your wonderful boyfriend! Why wouldn't you want to constantly be the subject of my affection?"
Kei rolled his eyes playfully, a quiet laugh escaping him before he hummed in thought. "I suppose I should put it this way... if I didn't want to spend time with you, I wouldn't be standing beside you, nor would you be my lovely boyfriend. But I am, and you are, so I don't see a reason to pointlessly bicker over this," he replied, unable to keep himself from smiling gently at the other when he saw the small pout Tetsurou had. "But most of the time, I don't mind being the 'subject of your affection'. Sometimes though, especially if we're around other people, it's just better if you ask me first, okay?"
"Of course, firefly!" Kuroo chirped back, pecking the blond's lips and grinning at the sight; the younger teen's cheeks flushed a soft red, a shade that Tetsurou was extremely fond of, and that beautiful smile. He knew he would do anything to make the other male happy, even more so considering the difficulties that Kei was going through with his parents, and it was moments like these that they shared that he promised himself to store and cherish forever. "Whatever you're comfortable with, love. We have all the time in the world, yeah? Just let me know what you're fine with and what you're not. I'll do the same thing, and we'll work things out, me and you."
He hummed softly in response, stopping at the elevator door and reaching for Tetsurou's other hand with his free one. "Yeah, I know, Tetsu. This, this right now, with you, it's nice," Kei whispered, tenderly taking the other's hand into his own, moving it to rest over the elevator button, and with a small laugh the raven pressed it down with him. It was only a few moments later that the elevator doors slid open, and the shorter male led them inside, holding Kei just as close as before.
For a moment, there was silence, yet it was a comfortable one. Tsukishima shuffled a little closer, burying his head in the crook of the dark haired male's neck, and Tetsurou was quick to respond by pulling him in to a hug. "God, I love you, Kei." Nuzzling into his blond locks, Kuroo let out a content sigh, continuing to hold him even as the short elevator journey came to it's conclusion. It was moments like these that he knew he would come to cherish and hold dear to his heart for a very, very long time.
It was difficult to accept that he would have to be apart from his boyfriend that night, especially seeming as things in the near future seemed so difficult.
"I know," Kei replied, reluctantly pulling away and giving him a smile as they exited the elevator and took a few steps outside the blond's apartment door. "I love you too, Tetsu. But I also have to go inside so I can get things ready before I see Lev. I want to know all about how things with him and Yaku went, and admittedly, he is my best friend here at Nekoma, so I'd like to spend some time with him. Especially considering what's been happening, he just gets it, you know?"
Tetsurou hummed in response, giving him a warm smile in return and quickly stealing another kiss from Kei's lips. The younger returned it, his eyes lighter as they met the raven's and they pulled apart. "Goodnight, love. You let me know if anything comes up, or you just want to see me, okay?"
"I will, Tetsurou. Have a good night, my angel," Kei replied, the last part barely a whisper as he sent one last smile towards his boyfriend (Tetsurou was his boyfriend, he was still trying to process that somewhat), and then entered the apartment. The lights were off, and it was rather cold, and slowly he made his way through to the kitchen. Now that he was apart from Kuroo, the older male's energy contagious, everything seemed to be so much more empty.
The dull ache that had been suppressed by the affection and care was quick to well up again, along with the knowledge that his parents indeed didn't care. It was scary, not knowing what his future entailed. That had been a recurring pattern these past few months, but now there was so much that could be lost if there were more changes because of his parents.
Opening the fridge to place the leftovers that Ichika had given him, Kei's eyes trailed to an envelope that was stuck to the fridge door. The familiar writing of his mother was on it, and the mere sight of it was enough to cause the frustration and fear he felt well up. With a frown, he pulled it off, slipping out the contents, a letter, and reading over it.
With a barely audible sigh, he sunk to the floor, knowing that this was far from over.
x-X-x
"They're so fucking stupid, Lev," Kei growled, shoving the letter into the taller teen's hands as the door was opened for him. "I can't believe the audacity of these damn people. It hasn't even been a day, and now this? My god, they're going to be the death of me."
Pushing his way past, the blond made his way inside, promptly plopping down on the silver haired male's couch and groaning into a pillow. The closing of the door and quiet footsteps were more than enough indication that Lev was coming over, but the feeling of a hand gently running through his hair was one that surprised him. It was a while before the other spoke up, and by the rustling of paper Kei presumed he'd been reading through the letter.
A few more moments passed until the half-Russian let out a heavy sigh, tapping him on the shoulder. Kei rolled over, and after a gesture from him, sat up. Lev was quick to sit down beside him, wrapping his arms around the blond and lightly running his hands over his back. "I know it's stupid. But I mean, it could be much worse than it is, Tsukki," he murmured, holding his friend closer.
Kei let out a heavy sigh, leaning into the embrace and let out an annoyed grunt of agreement. "I don't understand this, I don't understand them. I already know they don't care, I know they don't. And when they do things like this, acting like they do and that things are all alright, it makes it very hard. And I just wanted a break, more than for a few hours, I wanted a break."
"I know you need a break, Kei-Kei. It's not always going to be given to you, and I know you understand that better than anyone. This isn't the end of the world, you and I know that. You're stronger than this, then them, and you can pull through."
Lev's words were cut off when Kei pulled away, shaking his head and pulling his knees up to his chest. "How, Lev? I don't see a scenario where I come out happy once all this is through," he spat, biting down on his lip as he shook his head and gestured to the letter, one he'd read twenty times over by now.
'Dear Kei,
We are sorry for what happened last night, and for trying to force this marriage on you. Your father and I have talked and realised that you aren't really a homosexual, and that you just saw it as your only option to get out of the marriage. We were wrong for making you feel that way, and for hurting you, but we wanted to let you know that we know, and that now you don't have to tell us you were lying. We know you were lying about that, and so we will allow you to continue on at Nekoma. However, since you have been rather disobedient, we are cutting your allowance to visit Miyagi and you will have to move back into our home where we can take proper care of you. You must have everything in your apartment boxed by Sunday, and we'll have a mover come to take it to our house.
Lots of love, your caring parents.'
That was what the letter had read, and despite knowing how his parents were,it didn't change the fact that Kei was furious with them. He was furious and scared, and he didn't know what to do. "I know you read the letter too, and it's bullshit, complete and utter bullshit. Just because I can still go to Nekoma, nothing is solved. One worry is gone, but another one is here just after. I can't live with them, I can't, Lev. I would be completely under their control, and I can't live like that. I can't spend every moment afraid, not knowing if I'll get to see you again the next day because they've decided to move me without telling me. I can't lose you, I can't lose Tetsurou, not now I've got you."
The amount of times he'd broken down in the past little while, Kei was sick of it. He felt like crying, the familiar burning of tears welling up distorting his vision, but there was no way he would let them fall. His parents weren't worth crying over, he knew that, but right now they seemed like a power so daunting and absolute. Any chance of escaping them seemed minimal, especially when he would have to live 'under their noses'. They didn't care, not until he did something they didn't like, and then he was the most disobedient and horrible son in the world. The thought of living under their control and demands scared him, especially when there was so much at stake, and so much that could go wrong.
Now, because of what had happened, Kei had people and a life to lose. It wasn't just him, Akiteru and Tadashi anymore. It was Tetsurou, Lev, and Nekoma. It was the team he'd grown to love, it was his home, and there was no way he was willing to lose that. He'd already chosen Nekoma, and one wrong step and he could have that ripped away from him. His parents didn't care about him being happy, they cared about controlling him, and he had no doubt that they didn't mean a word about caring for him in that letter.
Even despite having pulled away, Kei found himself being pulled into another warm embrace, Lev refusing to let him suffer alone. He was unnaturally quiet as he took a deep breath and thought through things, his hand idly rubbing the blond's back. "You have Nekoma, Kei. I know you see it as something to lose, but it doesn't have to be. You have Nekoma, and we have you, and we'll do everything that we can to support you because you are one of us. Even if you are taken away, that doesn't make you any less a part of our team. It doesn't change that you're my best friend, that Tetsurou loves you, that you've made an impact in our lives."
The silver haired male paused, smiling gently as Kei wrapped his arms around him and holding him closer. A few choked sobs were audible, but Lev didn't mention them, continuing to explain. "It will be difficult, and I'm not saying that it won't be. And perhaps I don't have the full perspective on this, but there are other options, and the Akaashi's would probably be more than happy to help you if you needed it. Knowing your parents, the last thing I want is for you to be there with them. But, if they aren't home very often anyways, then it might not be so bad. You still have us, you won't be alone through this, and I think you need to stop stressing about what you don't know. Life has challenges, and this is just another one for you to overcome."
Kei let out another sob, and despite his prior determination not to let it out, he couldn't help but cry. There was so much going through his head, and as much as he knew Lev's words had sense, he didn't want to accept it. His voice was small as he spoke—muffled by the sound of his choked sobs against the taller male's shirt—and not for the first time that day, he found himself spilling everything to the other. "Lev, I'm scared. I don't want to be so far away from you, from Tetsu. The house is in the complete opposite direction of school, and it's going to need a half an hour train ride... what if something happens? Even if it's alright, I won't be able to see you nearly as often, to spend dinner with you, watching movies."
"We'll make the time. I don't know exactly how or when, but I promise you that we will. I know you're scared, and I am too. I don't want anything to happen to you, I don't want you to hurt like you have been, and I never want to see you so weak and upset. Believe me, if there was some magic way to make all of your problems go away, I would do it in a heartbeat. Seeing you happy, it's one of the greatest things. You're such a kind guy, and even if you take some getting to know, it's worth every moment."
More quiet sobs filled the room, the blond breaking down further at those words, and the sound was heartbreaking. Lev wished that he could make Kei happy, but that just wasn't the reality. He didn't know what to do, they were both young and struggling. It wasn't an easy fix, they both knew that. It would be naive to believe that things would magically pan out; they were both in for a lot of hardship in the future. Right now, the only thing Lev could do was comfort his friend, and look after him, until things moved forward and the true gravity of the situation became apparent to them.
It wasn't clear how long they stayed like that, clinging to each other in equal need for support, but eventually Kei fell quiet and slowly pulled away. His face was tear stained, his cheek bruised, and eyes pained. "How was your afternoon with Yaku?" he asked, tone monotonous, but only in an attempt to stifle the pained undertones that still managed to slip through. There was a pleading look in his eyes, and that was all it took for Lev to understand that right now, Kei just wanted to push aside these things and forget.
"It was nice, really nice. He took me to a cat café and we had lunch there while playing with the kitties there. We practically held hands as he dragged me there, but I was too scared to admit how I felt," Lev rambled, trying his best to enjoy the memory of the date-but-not, but being unable to rid himself of the guilt of having fun and speaking of his own good things whilst Kei was in pain. "I really like him, and I think I might have a shot, but it's still a while before I'd ask him on a proper date. Today felt so much like a date, though, so I think I'm just as confused as before."
The blond nodded, moving to curl up in Lev's arms again. He found solace there, unwilling to bother Tetsurou once again. Kei pulled his boyfriend's jumper closer to him, taking in its scent, and prompted Lev to continue talking.
"Tell me more. I want to know everything," he murmured. And Kei did want to know, because even if he couldn't be right now, at least Lev deserved happiness.
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