(TW - there's some self hatred in this chapter, it's angsty-)
By the time they had driven back to Tokyo, it was the early hours of the morning and they were all exhausted. Kei had been fast asleep for a good while now, snuggled up in Kuroo's jacket with his head rested on Koutarou's shoulder, who was also sleeping. Keiji was still awake in the front seat beside his father, Akaashi Kenichi, the pair chatting quietly about what they would do.

While they had originally planned to stay in Sendai overnight after the event, with all things considered it was probably a better idea to get back to Tokyo and get Kei comfortable. It was worrying to see him the way he was, and taking public transportation back in the morning wasn't the best idea either, because Kenichi didn't know how he would be feeling and a breakdown in public wouldn't help anyone. If they went back in the morning, it would be a while before they returned and that wasn't the best thing either, because it meant hours trapped in a car around strangers. At least if it was at night, it wasn't so bad for Kei since he slept through the whole thing.

Seeming as Keiji didn't want to disturb Kuroo when he didn't even know if Kei would want to see him, he wasn't sure where they should go. In the end, they decided to just go back to the Akaashi home for the night, since it was much closer than the apartment anyway and meant they could all get some rest. It was a medium sized house with three bedrooms, so they could all have a bed to sleep in. Kenichi and his husband Hiroki were rich and both were successful in their jobs, but they didn't like the extravagant lifestyle many other people in their world did. They had their family home, where the couple lived along with Keiji and Koutarou, and they were happy there. Sure, the two men were often busy with work, but they prioritised their family and always made sure to spend time with the two on the weekends.

Bokuto had been living with them for a year now, having had abusive parents who kicked him out for his sexuality (but had ended up in jail for what they had done, Kenichi made sure of it), and the teen had brought much joy to their family during that time. They only had one son, and so having another in the house to spoil and love was great.

Koutarou had needed a lot of healing, a lot of support, and the Akaashi's had been just the people to do it. Bokuto was his grandmother's last name, he had taken it after his parents were put into jail since he'd preferred it than his old last name. He didn't want to remember his parents when they treated him so badly, and his grandmother had always been kind and loving to him when she was alive. It took him a bit of time, but slowly he had grown to be genuinely happy with life again, and when he reached that point he was a bright point for the family of three. Hiroki and Kenichi adored him, as much as they did Keiji, and they made a point to treat him like a second son. Kenichi and him even developed a special father-son bond where every second Sunday they would have some time to watch a movie or play a board game or just talk, and it was obvious how much Koutarou enjoyed that.

For Keiji, it had meant life was much happier since he got to spend lots more time with his boyfriend, but he also knew that Koutarou was safe and living in a good environment and he could see the way it improved him. Even when playing, he spiked better and was much happier overall, especially when they had their first game and both Hiroki and Kenichi had shown up. He'd played the best game Keiji had seen him play, and even though it was only a practice game, he was giving it his all and performing. Life had improved for all of them in the last year, so this was probably the most notable negative event they'd been involved in for a while.

Everything that had happened the night before had sparked something inside of Kenichi though, and seeing the way that Kei had looked at his parents and the way they looked at him, he knew he wanted to help. He knew that Tooru, the other boy, had a place to stay with his boyfriend and their family and that he would be okay, but he didn't know about Kei. Akaashi had mentioned something about Kuroo saying the teen was living alone, but he wasn't certain if he had any friends that he could live with or what the situation was until he found out more.

They would just have to wait until the next day to find out, and for that it would probably mean taking him to see Tetsurou because the blond didn't look like he was dealing with it very well. It was understandable, considering the horrible things they'd said and the way he'd looked upset but not necessarily surprised, like he'd been expecting their reaction. It was really cruel to think that someone who was only a teenager expected that his own parents would hate him, and that they had indeed done just that. Even as Kenichi scooped him up and carried him to the guest bedroom, he could Kei was quite light for someone so tall and frowned, wondering just what he'd been through before this point.

x-X-x

When Kei woke up in the morning, he was in an unfamiliar room, still in his clothes from the night before yet wearing Kuroo's Nekoma jacket instead of the suit jacket. He sat up, seeing the outline of his glasses on the bedside table, and putting them on just as the door opened and Akaashi Keiji walked in with a small pile of neatly folded clothes. When he noticed Kei was awake he smiled softly and walked over, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Good morning, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, setting the clothes down beside Kei. "These are for you, by the way. Kuroo has a few things here for incase he ends up sleeping over, but I know he wouldn't mind if you used them."

"Oh, thank you," Kei whispered, glancing down and fiddling with the sleeve of Kuroo's jacket. "I don't really know how I feel, to be honest. I want to be happy that I was able to avoid everything, that I'm getting away from them because they were a bad part of my life, but it just hurts. The fact that I was so easily able to make them angry and stop the marriage, I'm glad that it wasn't hard, but it makes me feel horrible that I really meant that little to them, that it only took me saying no once and coming out for them to hate me."

"Well, you're always welcome here and free to be yourself, no matter what. It's a really disgusting thing that your parents did, and I can't believe they had the audacity to blame you for anything when they were the ones to react badly. They're cruel people, and if they're that shallow to turn away from you like that then it only proves they're not worth having in your life. I know it hurts, and that I don't know everything, but it'll just take some time to get used to. If you ever need someone to talk to, me, Kou and my fathers are there for you," Keiji said softly, standing up and giving him another smile. "If you want to have a bath or shower, the bathroom is across the hall and there's a green towel for you, it's hanging on the rack and in there it's clean. Breakfast is in half an hour, and when we're done we'll take you back home to see Kuroo and your other friend."

Kei nodded, hesitating for a moment before grabbing the other male's hand. "I, uh... I know we just met, but please just call me Kei. Tell the others that too, and Tets-Kuroo... tell him too, please."

Keiji's expression softened, and he sat down again, giving the blond a gentle hug. "Of course, Kei. You can call me Keiji, okay? And don't be afraid to call Kuroo by his first name either, because I know he likes it a lot when you do."

"Okay, Keiji," Kei whispered, pulling away and moving to stand up, grabbing the clothes and holding them close to his chest. "I think I'm going to have a shower now, if that's okay with you."

Keiji stood up, smiling and walking with him out the room. "The kitchen and living room is just down that hallway, we'll be there when you're done."

The blond nodded and walked into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. Kei let out a shaky sigh, placing the clothes to the side and turning on the water to begin to heat up while he undressed. Taking off Kuroo's jacket was difficult — it was like his safety blanket and he was hesitant to part from it even just to have a wash — but once he'd done that it was easy to rid himself of the stiff clothes from the night before. The problem was when he glanced at himself in the mirror, and saw the way he looked.

Kei had always been insecure about himself, he never liked showing much skin whilst many of the guys around him had no trouble walking around in the club room shirtless, even in his middle school. He was too tall, not muscular, and had none of the characteristics people usually liked. Perhaps people thought he looked attractive (according to the number of confessions he got in middle school), but he certainly didn't feel that way. Even his skin wasn't completely unblemished, covered in small, pale freckles on the back of his neck and his shoulders that nobody would notice unless they were close enough and paying attention.

As he stood in front of the mirror, bags under his eyes, his skin paler than it usually was, and a dark, blotchy bruise on his cheek, he honestly didn't understand how Kuroo could possibly love him.

Kei had never thought his parents words would mean so much to him, but their words lingered in the back of his mind. He was a mistake, he was never meant to be born, that was what they had told him and that was what he'd known for a very long time. They only intensified his insecurities, and without someone there to tell him otherwise that was what he would believe.

He took off his glasses and stepped into the shower, silent tears trailing down his cheeks along with the water. When the sobs came, the sound of the shower running muffled them all, and Kei was left a crying mess. As much as he wished he could be with Tetsurou right now, as much as he wanted to be held close and for them to finally talk, he was more scared than ever of what the other would say. When he didn't think he was loveable, when he didn't even have a family, when he had hid everything for so long from him, he didn't know how he would be able to face Kuroo.

He could only imagine how he would react to seeing him, and he couldn't help but imagine the other avoiding looking at him because of the ugly bruise on his cheek, imagine Kuroo saying that he didn't really love him, imagine being tossed aside and losing him. Kei knew deep down that all of those scenarios were very unlikely, that Tetsurou wasn't like that, but that didn't stop the fears and worries bubbling up inside and spilling out into more tears.

He did wash himself with soap and washed his hair, but the whole time he couldn't help but be disgusted at his body. He wasn't good enough for Kuroo, who was handsome and had a nice body, had tan skin and toned muscles and the most beautiful smile Kei had ever seen. In his opinion, he didn't deserve Tetsurou and Tetsurou deserved better than him.

It wasn't until he heard a soft knock on the door that he was broken from his thoughts, and he flinched, somehow managing to steady himself and prevent himself from slipping over. "Kei, is everything okay? You've been in there for a while," Keiji called out, voice caring and gentle though loud enough to be heard over the shower.

Kei frowned and shut off the water, trying to keep himself from letting out a sob and only succeeding in muffling it. "I-I'm fine, I'll be out in a moment," he replied, his voice shaky. Even he himself didn't believe what he said, since he was obviously upset — (but maybe that was because he was too weak, too emotional, always bothering other people with his problems yet not letting them in when it counted). He let out another choked sob, more hot tears falling down.

"Can you dry off and get into some clothes? I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I do want to help you if you're upset, Kei," the dark haired teen said from outside, his voice genuine and kind. Kei felt his heart clench, because he didn't quite understand why Keiji would care about him and want to help when they had only just met, but he did as asked anyway. He was still crying as he did so, but somehow he managed to fumble around and put the clothes on.

Kuroo's clothes fit fine in terms of length, but at the same time they were baggy on him. The other was a lot more muscular than him, and he didn't like wearing tight fitting things, so Kei felt small in his clothes. The fabric was soft and worn, lacking the crispness of new shirts, and he could see a couple of stains on the shirt, but it felt homely. It was comforting and smelt like Tetsurou, and he felt safe when he slipped that Nekoma jacket back on and zipped it up. He could know that the other male had given him that jacket, and that obviously had to count for something even if he himself felt like he wasn't deserving of the feelings behind it.

Silent tears continued to fall as he stepped outside, immediately being brought into a hug. Surprisingly, it was Koutarou that had done so, and it was much gentler than Kei had thought, not that he knew what to expect. It wasn't a hug from Tetsurou or Lev or Tadashi or Akiteru, but it was nice. He didn't know how, but it almost felt like there was an understanding behind the embrace, and he couldn't help but relax even though he'd only just recently met Bokuto. He sniffled softly as the older teen held him close and rubbed his back, Keiji assuring him that it was going to be alright and that he was safe now while Koutarou did so. It took a few minutes, but eventually the tears stopped and Kei found himself no longer so overwhelmed by the thoughts that he'd had when he was alone. He wiped his eyes and gave them a half smile before he went back into the bathroom and put on his glasses once more.

When he came back out, the couple were smiling at him and Keiji offered him a hand. Kei took it, the small yet gentle contact helping him to relax just a little bit more. Usually he wouldn't be so open about everything, but they had basically seen him at his worst already because of Friday and the events of the dinner party, and they seemed to understand. There was no use hiding his emotions when they were actually doing a decent job at helping him, and he didn't have any of his usual support around him.

"Let's go and have breakfast, okay? I don't think you ended up having dinner yesterday and you need to have something to eat," Keiji said kindly, leading him to the kitchen where Kenichi and Hiroki were busy cooking. Kei's steps were slow, but that didn't matter and they didn't force him to walk any faster, mentioning what they were having for breakfast.

Now that he thought about it, he'd slept through dinner as well as lunch the day before when he was in the car on the way there and back, but he never had much of an appetite anyways, especially when he'd just been sick. It probably wasn't healthy though, and he did feel really hungry now. He wasn't going to complain, because the eggs, bacon and toast being cooked smelt nice and if he felt like he would be able to eat that was a good thing. Lev always insisted he eat proper meals anyway, and he'd already not done that since breakfast the day before. His body was desperate for food, and he'd been running on empty aside from the large amounts of sleep, so he would eat even if he felt bad for them making him breakfast as well as giving him a place to sleep and everything else.

He nodded at Keiji's earlier words, not letting go of his hand until they got to the table and Kei was sitting down, now fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket. A few worries had bubbled up again, and he bit his lip, hesitantly beginning to speak. He only continued talking when he saw the kind smiles the couple sent his way, not a hint of pity, just kindness. "Can we not talk about any of this over breakfast? I don't want to be a bother, but if I go into my apartment with Lev first, then while I talk with Tetsurou you can ask Lev anything you want to know to help clear things up."

"I think that sounds okay, but my Tou-san might have a couple of extra questions, I'm not sure," Keiji replied with a nod and a smile, placing a hand on Kei's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "But to me, I think that's good. I know it's hard to say everything that's going on, and I wouldn't expect you to share it all immediately, so if your friend can do it for you so we can help you then that'll be better for all of us. Especially if you already have to explain things to Kuroo, explaining it all again can be very emotionally taxing."

Kenichi nodded and hummed in agreement, setting down a mug in front of him and placing the kettle with the tea in the centre of the table. "We're here to look after you, Kei, and if that's what would make you feel more comfortable than I don't mind. We just want to know so we can figure out how best to support you, okay?"

"Okay... thank you, Akaashi-san," Kei said, giving him a grateful smile and pouring some tea. He quite liked it there with them, he decided. It was a safe haven, a home away from home, and a place where he felt understood even without having shared his story yet. The right people had been there last night, and he thanked whatever gods were out there that they had been.

x-X-x

Breakfast was quiet for Kei at least, since he didn't particularly feel like talking. He only ate a piece of toast and an egg, along with a cup of tea, but it was enough for him to feel full. Even when he was offered more, he didn't particularly feel like it, and just sat there looking down while everyone else finished up. He didn't know how he was going to tell his brother and Tadashi about it either, but he figured Lev would help him do that like usual.

The nicest thing was that the people in the room didn't force him to talk, supporting him quietly. Keiji was sitting next to him, having finished soon after since he didn't eat much more than Kei, and he took the blond's hand once again after he was finished to try and comfort him somewhat.

Still, leaving to go back to the apartment was a relief, especially when Lev was waiting for him as he arrived. The silver haired male didn't hesitate to hug him as soon as he stepped out of the car, and Kei clearly relaxed at the embrace, hugging him back. The other didn't know exactly what had happened, but he knew that it wasn't good and his friend needed help, and so that was what he would do. The group made their way to his apartment, with Bokuto heading up to go find Kuroo. While Lev and Kei talked in his room, the group hung out in his living room, simply waiting.

When Tetsurou had Bokuto knocking at his door at ten in the morning, waking him up from his sleep in, he was a little surprised. He knew that the other captain had some dinner thing he was going to with Akaashi over in Sendai and wasn't meant to get back until that afternoon. He didn't know much about where Kei was aside from something to do with family, so he'd just assumed that he was heading down to visit his brother and the freckled guy (Yamaguchi, if he remembered correctly). Sure, it sucked that they couldn't talk about Friday afternoon — he still blushed whenever he remembered Kei calling him by his first name and saying he loved him — but he understood that family was important and knew that there was always that evening when he got back.

He yawned as he made his way to the door, dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, tilting his head when he saw Bokuto. Koutarou had a mixture of a nervous and worried expression on his face, but he sighed in relief when he saw it was Tetsurou that opened the door. "Hey, Bo," Kuroo said, running a hand through his hair and yawning once more. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but how come you're here? Is everything alright?"

Koutarou frowned and shook his head, sighing softly. He pursed his lips, considering how to explain it for a moment before he spoke. "Not really, but it's not to do with me. It's a bit of a long story, but some stuff happened with Kei and his parents at the thing Keiji and I went to last night..."

Tetsurou blinked, immediately feeling more awake at the mention of the blond, and he frowned. "What do you mean, Koutarou? And how come you're calling him by his first name?"

"Right, so you haven't seen the texts yet.... well, you're going to have to find out either way," he replied, biting his lip and grabbing Kuroo's hands. Fear began to well up inside, and as he heard what was said next, Tetsurou's heart began to break. "Okay, so don't freak out too much, please. Long story short, his parents are shitty. They tried to force him into an arranged marriage, he said no and came out as gay. They weren't happy about it, spewed a whole bunch of bullshit that I'm pretty sure Kei took to heart, his father punched him and then they disowned him. He doesn't want to be called by his family name when he's not a part of that family any more."

Tetsurou didn't even know how to react to hearing that. He knew that Kei lived alone, but he'd only found that out on Friday and didn't know why. They hadn't even had a conversation about everything else, and now this had happened, and he had no doubt that Kei was hurting. "What?" he whispered, unable to find any of the right words to say.

"I don't know much either, since he hasn't said much since the whole thing. Apparently his friend, the really tall guy that was here on Friday, knows about everything else and he's going to tell us when he's finished talking with Kei. I think Kei wants to tell you everything himself though. From what I can gather, his parents never really cared about him in the first place, and I'm guessing having him wasn't planned. Him coming out as gay was just an excuse for them to hate him openly, though I think Kei knew how they felt about him already and didn't want to believe it." Bokuto sighed and looked down, letting go of Kuroo's hands. "Kenichi will make sure they pay for what they did, he already called off the partnership they were potentially going to have that would have expanded their business more."

Tetsurou looked down, unable to do anything but listen. The worst part was that he didn't even know about any of the other stuff that had happened between Kei and his parents, he didn't even see this coming. How long had he been suffering, how long had he felt alone because of his parents, how long had he been holding it all in for? How had Kuroo not realised anything, how had he been so blind? He truly loved Kei, he loved spending time with him and seeing him smile, but how many of those smiles had covered up loneliness or sadness or pain? "How... how is he doing?" he asked, looking up at Koutarou.

The owl-like male sighed once again, shaking his head. "He's not great, Tetsurou. We managed to get him to have a wash and eat breakfast, but when he was in the shower he broke down crying. He didn't say what it was about, and he didn't want to talk about anything. We leant him some of your clothes to try and help him be more comfortable, but he was pretty clingy to Keiji this morning and he hasn't taken off your jacket since last night. He's talking to the other guy in his room right now, but when they're done he wants to see you. Like I said, I don't know everything, but we're just going to have to do our best to help him and you're more likely than any of us to get through to him."

Tetsurou nodded, stepping outside and closing the door behind him, not bothering to put on any shoes seeming as they would just be heading downstairs. "I'll look after him, I promise. I really love him, Kou," he said softly, walking into the elevator with him and pressing the button for the second floor.

"I know you do, and he loves you too. Just be patient with him, and really make sure he knows that, because I know that I didn't want to believe that Keiji could love me after what happened to me and chances are he feels the same."

Kuroo nodded, slipping his hands into his pocket as they made their way into Kei's living room. They ended up waiting in there for a while, about half an hour for Lev to be finished talking with him, and the whole time he felt anxious and worried. He would do anything to look after Kei, to make sure he knew he was loved, but he really had no idea what to expect until he walked into the room and saw him for himself.

When Lev finally left the room, closing the door behind him, he had a scowl on his face. Only when he was close enough that they would all hear but he could be quiet he spoke. "Kenichi-san, you better make sure they pay, or I'll kill those fuckers myself," he said, clearly unhappy. "I've talked it through what happened with him and his brother Akiteru, so I think things are going to be alright in that he's not bottling it all up."

Lev sighed, shaking his head and walking over to Kuroo who had stood up, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I know you don't know much, but don't think it's because he doesn't trust you. He trusts you a lot and he wanted to tell you earlier, but he's also extremely insecure. He has been insecure from the start, and he was scared to open up to you because he didn't want you to see him when he was weak and decide you didn't want him. I know that's not the case, but the assholes told him some shitty stuff like that he's a mistake and he's disgusting, and now he's scared of that you'll think that too. It might be hard for him to explain some things, but you just have to be patient with him, because he's been through a lot."

It was quiet, loud enough that only the two of them could hear. The silver haired male knew Kuroo loved his friend, but he still didn't want to take any risks, especially if he felt guilty that he hadn't been able to help sooner. Tetsurou gave him a sad smile and nodded, giving him a quick hug. "Thank you, Lev, for everything you've done for him, and for telling me that," he whispered, pulling away and taking a step towards the door.

Lev shook his head and looked at the room where Kei was. "Don't thank me, Kuroo. He's my best friend, of course I'm going to look after him. But right now, more than me, he needs you. He loves you so, so much, and I dare say more than he loves himself. He did all of this so he could be with you, and we can't have you fucking it up because of a misunderstanding."

x-X-x

As soon as Lev left the room, Kei found it was getting harder to breathe. Lev had left, meaning Tetsurou would be coming in to see him, and he would explain everything. He was terrified of it, terrified of all the things that could go wrong, and as each second passed the worries grew inside of him. He still had his best friend, and he still had Akiteru, but as much as they assured him that he wasn't a mistake and he wasn't disgusting, the three of them knew he didn't believe it.

Ever since he was little, Kei didn't believe that it would be possible for someone to love him. His parents didn't love him, so how could someone else, let alone another guy? And then Tetsurou came along, and he felt so many new and different things. His parents had seemed to be respecting his wishes too, seemed to be pleased with how he was going, and for once, he thought he had made them proud. He had thought he had hope that they would see him for who he was and they would love him, only for them to have lied to him and gone behind his back to arrange a marriage that he didn't want, let alone even know about.

And then the moment he came out as gay, they stopped hiding their hatred for him, and it hurt, because he could no longer fool himself with the hope they would one day change. His parents didn't love him, and he didn't see how he was worth loving. He was a mistake, he shouldn't have been born in the first place, and what person wanted someone who was a mistake? Tetsurou deserved better, and every second that went by made him wonder if the other would even show up at all. Kei was basically an orphan now, disowned by his parents, and he had spent the last month hiding his struggles from the other male. What reason would Kuroo have to want him, to listen to him when Kei had so many chances to tell him everything but was too scared to.

A minute passed, and he'd just about lost hope. A tear slipped out, and he pulled his knees to his chest as a sob escaped him as well. He was a horrible person, there was no way that he deserved for Kuroo to love him, nothing that made him special. He was a horrible person, he was weak and scared and insecure. Perhaps Tetsurou had finally seen that and that was why he wasn't there? If that was the case, then Kei would support him, even if it broke his heart.

The door opened, and he didn't look up, expecting it to be Lev apologising and telling him that Kuroo wasn't there. "I already know he doesn't want me, Lev, just go," he said, taking off his glasses with a shaky hand as more tears spilled out. The door closed gently, and Kei only sobbed louder, hiding his face as he heard the footsteps get closer.

The bed dipped a little as someone sat down beside him, and then a pair of arms wrapped around him. The embrace was warm, and it was safe, and even without looking up Kei knew exactly who it was. He froze, and with widened eyes he glanced up, letting out another sob. He'd just messed up even more, because he just admitted to Tetsurou's face that he didn't think he wanted him, and that was just like saying he thought his love meant nothing or wasn't real. His heart clenched, guilt washing over, and he didn't know what to do but cry. He was at a complete loss for words, because how could he possibly begin to explain everything?

Initially, he'd expected to be tossed aside and left, for Kuroo not to have come at all. And then, when he had turned up after all, he expected anger that he had ever doubted the other male. He was scared and overwhelmed, and not once did he expect what actually happened even if it was more likely than anything else that he'd thought up. Before he could say a word to explain, he was pulled in closer, and Tetsurou pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Shh, don't worry, love. I'm here now and I'm not leaving. I don't know if you remember, but I made a promise that I would never leave you, and when it comes to the people that I love I don't break promises. Just like I said, I love you too much to leave," he whispered, voice gentle and caring as he held Kei close and ran his fingers through his hair.

Kei moved to wrap his arms around Tetsurou, clinging tightly to him as he sobbed. He was still scared, still failed to understand how the other could love him, but just hearing those words and remembering the promise from Friday already eased some of the worries in his mind. "I'm sorry, Tetsu," he choked out between sobs, burying his face in the crook of his neck in an attempt to hide his crying face. It hurt when his bruised cheek pressed against the other, but he didn't really care about that at the moment.

"There's no need to apologise, okay? Just breathe with me, Kei," Tetsurou assured lovingly, one of his hands moving to rub the blond's back as the other continued to stroke his hair. "I'm right here with you and we can take as long as you need. Nothing could make me leave, you're most important."

And so, Kuroo worked with him to help him calm down, counting to four and telling him to breathe in or out or to hold his breath. His voice never lost the loving tone, never stopped being gentle in the way he spoke and treated Kei, even when the sobs had died down into sniffles and Kei pulled away to look up at him.

Tetsurou gave him a warm smile, using one of his hands to tenderly cup the cheek that wasn't bruised. With the other hand he brushed away the tears, touch as light as a feather when it came to the side that was bruised. When he was done, Kuroo carefully put his glasses back on, leaning and giving him a gentle kiss when he was done. It was only for a moment, but it was soft and full of love, just to express how much he truly cared. "I love you so much, firefly, and I'll tell you over and over again, for all eternity. I could never get sick of telling you how much I love you, and I'd do anything to show you with more than just words."

The blond leaned into the touch of Tetsurou's hand, relaxing and letting out a shaky breath as he found that the bruise didn't hurt when the tears were wiped from his cheeks. Being cared for like this, being looked at with such love, feeling a touch so delicate, it was a complete contrast from the way his parents treated him. It was different from the way Lev and Tadashi and Akiteru comforted him when he was upset, because he didn't need to know they cared. That was something he knew for a fact, they loved him and they would support him through everything. But Tetsurou knew Kei had his doubts and worries, and was doing everything he could to help him see that he was loved. The kiss was unexpected, but when Kei felt the other's lips on his and looked into his eyes, he knew that there was no denying the love he found there.

"I love you too, Tetsurou," he murmured, giving him a sad smile and hoping that Tetsurou could see the love in his eyes as well. The other male seemed to understand, smiling gently whilst scooping him up so that Kei was on his lap so they could still be close while they talked. One of their arms were wrapped around each other's waist, and Kuroo's other hand found Kei's. Their fingers intertwined, and the dark haired male's thumb began brushing against the back of his hand, silently continuing to comfort him even if he wasn't currently crying. "That was the first thing I didn't expect, that I would ever fall in love. I've known I was gay for a while, but falling in love wasn't ever something I imagined for myself."

Tetsurou smiled softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze to encourage him to keep talking. Kei's expression softened into a thankful one, and he took a moment to breathe before continuing. "Ever since I was young, my parents never were a big part of my life. They never played with me or cuddled me even as a baby, getting back to work as soon I was born and paying someone else to look after me instead. Aki-nii was the only person to love me for a very long time. He was seven when I was born, and when he wasn't at school or playing volleyball he would spend lots of time playing with me. He comforted me when I had nightmares, he watched my little kid shows with me, even cut up my food for me when I was too young to do so. There were no family dinners, and even on birthdays they just bought us something and told us to run along."

"For the longest time, I thought that was what parents did. Even when I went to kindergarten and everyone else's parents took them, I had Akiteru. I didn't think anything was wrong, that they just showed their love for me a different way. But time and time again they continued to disappoint me, not showing up to the school play or the time I read out a poem for Mother's Day. The first time they showed up to anything I did was a piano competition, but they'd only come along so they could brag to their friends. I won, but I didn't even get a 'congratulations' or 'well done' like the other kids. The people that came in second and third were getting a picture holding up their award, and I was sitting in the corner alone. When my father finally came over after taking to his friends, he scolded me for the one mistake I made and told me it wasn't good enough. I was seven years old, and I had been playing since I was three, so mistakes weren't acceptable."

Kei laughed bitterly and looked down, and Kuroo pulled him in closer, kissing his cheek. "Well, I for one happen to think that it was quite an impressive achievement," the older teen said, giving him a loving smile. "I'm seventeen and I don't know the slightest thing about music, let alone being good enough to play an instrument in a competition and win."

The blond looked up, the corners of his lips turning up into a small smile as he heard the other's words. "Thanks, Tetsu. Remind me later and I'll teach you something, or at least play something for you. Making me play piano was the second best thing my parents ever made me do, since I actually really enjoy it," he said softly, before pausing as he thought of what to say next. Tetsurou was patient, never once getting annoyed at him, and for that he was glad, especially since they were going to start getting into the harder topics soon.

"Being eight was one of the best and worst years for me. It was the year I met Tadashi and the year I started playing volleyball, or when my brother started to teach me how to play at least. But also, it was when I was seven that I began to realise how different I had it compared to other kids. We had a public speaking competition at our school, and I thought that for sure my parents would come along when I got into the finals. I worked really hard on my speech, to memorise it and prepare, since they'd always cared more about how I did academically than most other things. They didn't show up, having left that morning to go on a business trip. I don't even remember what happened that day, all I remember is being really upset. When they came home two days later, having been out for drinks with their work friends, I asked my father why they didn't come even though they'd promised. He told me-" Kei took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, squeezing Kuroo's hand tightly as he held back a sob before continuing.

"He told me that whatever it was didn't matter, that I wasn't important compared to his work. When he looked at me, there was no love in his eyes, no caring smiles, just annoyance. It was when I began to realise they didn't really care about me, even if I didn't know why. And so, I did the only thing a kid my age could do, which was work harder. Obviously, if they were annoyed at me, it must have been something that I was doing wrong. I wasn't working hard enough, I wasn't getting good enough grades at school, I wasn't the son they wanted. It was when I was twelve, having come home from losing the finals of our volleyball tournament, it was that night he finally snapped. He was drunk then as well, otherwise he never would have told me."

He let go of Tetsurou's hand, wrapping his other arm around the other male and hugging him tightly. "I've never told another soul what happened that night, but I remember it clearly, as if it was yesterday. 'You were never meant to have been born,' he told me. We'd done sex ed already, so I knew about how sex worked and everything, and he knew that. 'I was drunk, and so was your mother, and we both needed to have a break from work. We had sex, just for relief, and when your grandmother found out your mother was pregnant she was elated and convinced her not to get an abortion. I told her not to listen, but she did anyway, and now we both regret it. Nobody is ever going to love you, Kei. You might get good grades, but you only have one friend, and that goes to show how much of a piece of garbage you are.' I know I should have told Akiteru about it, but he was living in an apartment where he went to uni and I convinced myself that my father was lying because he was drunk. I thought I did, but deep down I knew that they didn't love me, and that's why I tried so hard to please them even if I wasn't going to take over their companies. I didn't want it to be true, I just really wanted them to love me."

A few tears slipped out, and he let out another sob, unable to keep the emotions in. He'd been telling the truth when he said he'd never told anyone else about it, because he hadn't even told Lev. But now that his parents had really admitted to everyone that they thought he was a mistake and hated him, there was no use holding it in. What he'd been trying to believe was a lie had been true the whole time, and Kei knew he needed to admit that to someone, and it was a weight off his chest to do so. He tried his best to keep from having another break down, trying to take deep breaths just as he had been instructed earlier.

Tetsurou wrapped his arms around him and held him close, hushing him softly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I know, Firefly, I know you did. They didn't treat you like you deserved and still do deserve, because you did nothing wrong. You tried so hard, and I need you to know a couple of things. Firstly, I'm so, so proud of you, because you came so far and you did so many amazing things, had so many wonderful achievements, and even if they can't recognise the effort you put in, I can. But secondly, you never have to do anything for my love. I fell in love with you for you, even before I knew all that cool stuff you did, and you don't need to please me for me to keep on loving you. I'll keep on doing that because you're you, and I love the person you are. I love the way you're honest and kind at heart, that you have a beautiful, caring personality even if you might not show it the best at first. I love watching you play volleyball and seeing the way you interact with the team, and even though it's not so great that you were working yourself too hard, it was adorable seeing you all sleepy on the way back home from evening training."

Kei sniffled, but he was able to calm down a lot quicker this time, listening to Tetsurou's words as he focused on breathing. A small blush made its way onto his tear stained cheeks, but he didn't bother to hide it as the other male continued to speak. "And also, you're so damn beautiful that I can't even begin to think how you see me as an angel when you're the way you are. My poor bisexual heart went into overdrive when I first saw you, and it was really lucky that you took the stairs because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to hide my blush by the time I saw you next. Your hair is such a beautiful colour as well, it's not often that there's natural blond hair in Japan and it really, really suits you. Your eyes, don't even get me started on them, they're this stunning, warm golden brown colour. Sometimes they're more of a soft brown, but other times they seem like liquid gold. That night when we were outside together after training, my god, you were ethereal with the way you looked in the moonlight. But that's not even the best part, because I love your smiles the best. Whether they're big or small smiles, I love seeing you smile. Even more, I love the way you look when you're really happy, because your eyes light up and it makes me want to be happy too. So, aside from your name also meaning firefly, that's why I call you it, because you shine your own light."

He looked up at Kuroo, and couldn't help it but smile a little as more tears welled up. "What the hell, that's so sweet." Kei gave him a kiss on the cheek, before pulling away a little and moving an arm to wipe his eyes. "You're too sweet, Tetsu. Now I'm going to feel bad making this all sad again," he muttered, biting his lip and looking down. "I still have half the story left to tell. But... thank you. It does mean a lot hearing you say all those things."

Tetsurou blushed a little at the kiss on the cheek, and gave him a loving smile. "Well, what can I say? I'll tell you I love you as many times as I can, even if I don't say the phrase specifically. Besides, I know this is hard for you to talk about, and if I can cheer you up somewhat as we go or at least make it a little easier, then it's worth it. So don't feel bad," he replied gently, moving to once again take his hand and lace their fingers.

He nodded at hearing that, closing his eyes and taking a breath as he though about what to say next. "I think we're just about at the spot for you to learn about my plan. You know how I said falling in love with you was the first thing I didn't expect?"

The dark haired male hummed in understanding, and Kei squeezed his hand gently. "I had a plan for my life. I had my whole life written out, and I planned on sticking to that religiously. It went into more depth than this, but essentially the plan was to go to this one school with my best friend, play volleyball there and in uni, find a job and live life. Never once did I think that I was going to find love, because I've always seen myself as unloveable when it comes to being loved romantically. Sure, I would get some confessions in middle school, but they were all from girls and I turned them down for obvious reasons. I just always thought that no guy would want me, because I'm not like other guys. I'm not muscular like everyone else, and I'm tall as well so I don't have the appeal of being petite and small. I've never liked my body, and it's why I try to avoid changing in the club room. I'm ashamed of the way I look when nearly everyone else is more well built, even if they're more on the lean side. Apparently you see it differently than I do, but I've always been really insecure, and not just about the way I look. If someone liked me, I was afraid that when they got to know me they would see how small and lonely I really was and not want it. I'm so scared to let people in, I'm so scared of losing people, and so I just planned to never fall in love or have a relationship to spare myself the pain of getting disappointed like I was by my parents."

Kei let out a shaky sigh, and Tetsurou leaned in to give him a gentle kiss, resting his forehead against the blond's. "Well, I happen to think that you're beautiful just the way you are. I don't care whether you're muscular or not, and I like that you're tall. It means I can kiss you easier, which is a plus, but it also makes it easy to look into your eyes," Kuroo said truthfully, pressing another quick kiss to his lips and nuzzling his nose against Kei's. The younger male leaned into the touch, unsure how to respond to the kisses, but enjoying them nonetheless. "And I know there's still lots we have to learn about each other, but learning all of this hasn't made me love you any less. It only makes me want to be there for you more, so that I can help get rid of the loneliness. I want to be there in your life and be one of the people that changes things, and if I can I want to help you see yourself the way I do, because I love the person you are."

The feeling of Kuroo's soft lips against his own still lingered, the words still ringing in his head. Tetsurou's voice was warm, mellow and smooth, and with each syllable he created this strange feeling inside of Kei's heart. 'Maybe' he thought, leaning in and hesitantly closing the gap between their lips, 'maybe you'll be able to do that'. Kei had never felt like he was beautiful, but he couldn't help but feel that way when he saw the way Tetsurou looked at him, felt the way he kissed him and held him, heard the tone in his voice. It almost made him want to cry, but he held it in, moving his head away somewhat as he continued to speak.

"Anyway, there was this school, the school that my brother went to in Miyagi. It's called Karasuno, they had a really great volleyball team a while back so you might have heard of it. I really wanted to go there, but the fame wasn't the appeal for me. Just, Aki-nii always used to tell me about how great it was, how the team was like a family to him and that the coach worked them hard but it was a lot of fun. So for years, me and my best friend Tadashi planned on going there together. It wasn't a prestigious school like Shiratorizawa, but it was the one thing I really wanted. To sum it up; go to Karasuno with Tadashi, play volleyball on the team like Akiteru, and never fall in love."

Kuroo nodded in understanding, his other hand moving to run through Kei's hand. "Something big changed then, huh?" he asked softly, giving the blond another kiss to the forehead.

"Mhm. Two weeks before the start of the year, my parents come home for once. Like, they have this literal mansion, but I was the only one that really lived in it since they were basically always out. I don't understand the point of it, really. Anyway, so they ask me for a talk, they sit me down, and they tell me they're moving to Tokyo for work and that I'm coming with them. I don't understand why the hell they did it, seeming as they never looked after me at all and there was absolutely no point for me to go with them when they could have just left me back in Miyagi and seen me just as often. It's not like they come visit me, aside from telling me things or dragging me off to their bloody dinner parties and events. But like, they just show up and casually tell me that I'm moving two weeks before the school year starts, as if they didn't completely ruin the plan I'd had since I was eight or nine? 'Oh, you can still go down and see Yamaguchi and Akiteru every weekend' they said, but how the hell can two days replace volleyball every day, sleepovers during the week and all the other stuff? Short answer, it doesn't, but it's not like they cared anyways," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Sorry if I sound really frustrated all of a sudden, I love Nekoma now and I'm glad I got to come here, but it still pisses me off that they literally did that knowing full well how much I wanted to go to Karasuno. Please keep that in mind for when I talk about this all later."

"No, it's okay, I get it. I understand that it's hard, especially when it was all you'd ever known and wanted. By all means, keep on going."

"Thanks, Tetsu," he whispered, before clearing his throat quietly. "But yeah, they wanted me to live in some other mansion thing that they wouldn't live in very often, and it's horrible living in that sort of place especially all alone, so I ask if I can have an apartment instead. It wasn't like I expected them to comply, but I guess they would leap at the chance to get me out of their hair and wanted to keep me on their good side so that I'd continue to want to please them or something, I don't know, but they bought me this place here and put in all the stuff I used frequently in the old place or that they wanted to replace so they didn't have to buy new stuff. So, I finally move to Tokyo the day before school starts, going to some school called Nekoma in which the only appeal for me was the decent science labs and resources and stuff, away from my only friend and my brother. I get ready early, and decide to walk to school earlier than need be just because I had nothing better to do, and you know what happens next. I press the elevator button, the doors slide open, and there's two guys in the same uniform as me. One of them doesn't look at me, but the other does. He's tall, got this shitty bed hair, but he's also super hot and exactly my type — tall, dark haired and handsome, if you're wondering — and I don't even know what to do because I'm really, really gay. So, I turn the other way and walk down the stairs in the hopes that I can avoid the hot third year and like, not do something stupid and die of embarrassment."

Kei was about to continue when Tetsurou placed a finger on his lips and looked at him in disbelief, a dark blush on his cheeks. It was unexpected to see him like that, almost comical, but at the same time it was cute and he couldn't help but laugh quietly as he heard the first sentence. "Wait, so the whole time that was why you walked away? Oh thank god, I wasn't the only one freaking out. I did a lot of stupid stuff that first day and the second morning, I'm not going to lie. Like the whole reason I teased you a lot and went too far and you snapped at me is because I didn't know how to act around you. I did really want to talk with you because you looked lonely, which is understandable by the way considering what just happened in your life, but I didn't know how. Since I started out by teasing you I wasn't sure how else to go about it in case you got even more frustrated at the sudden change in personality and thought I wasn't being genuine," he explained, chuckling sheepishly. "I'll let you finish the story, but sorry in advance for being an ass."

The blond smiled a little and shook his head, glad that at least some of their conversation could be a bit more lighthearted. "Like we agreed, we were both at fault there so it's fine. Anyways, you were there waiting downstairs and you wanted to walk me to school, which was kind of sweet even if you didn't know how to hold up a conversation with me, but I also didn't know how to communicate with you because I'd expected you to go on ahead and ignore me. So I told you to leave me alone, and walked to school, but I couldn't get you out of my head even if I wanted to. I hadn't even gotten to school yet and I already had a really big crush, so thanks a lot for ruining plan number two. Not that I mind now though, but that's beside the point. I still had volleyball though, that's what I thought. But then, I walk to the gym, and who else is there but the devilishly handsome guy I had a massive crush on and wanted to avoid? Even better, he's the captain, and also a middle blocker, so there's no escape!" He rolled his eyes playfully and lightly nudged Kuroo's side, humming a bit when the other laughed a bit and smiled lovingly at him.

"So, there went the third plan out the window, and life was completely turned upside down. Not only that, but I really didn't see myself having a place on the team at first. Lev was new, but even from the beginning I couldn't see him as anything but a middle blocker, and Inuoka wanted to be a middle blocker too. Add on the fact that you are too, then with me that meant four middle blockers on the team, and I didn't really think I fit in with everyone. I leave school that day, and as I walk out and try and get away from you and Kenma I see Lev walking. Tadashi was really getting on my back about making friends, and I didn't exactly make any during the day, so I basically went 'fuck it' and started talking to him. Turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made, because we hit it off and it turns out we have a lot in common. We've already been through the second morning at school and we're over it, so I guess we're going to jump back into the more difficult stuff..." Kei trailed off, letting out a shaky sigh and looking up into Kuroo's eyes. "I don't know how you're going to react to this stuff, which is why I didn't come right out and tell you already. I was scared that I would make you upset or offend you, and then I already was fine with everything before I got the guts to say and I didn't want to relive bad memories or make you upset unnecessarily."

Tetsurou tilted his head, his expression softening, and he nodded but gave him a sad smile. "It's okay, I get it. You don't need to feel bad about that, Kei. Whatever it is, I can take it, and I'd rather we go through everything you want to say then end up with regrets in your heart," he assured gently, stroking over the back of the other's hands with his thumb.

"Okay then. Thank you, Tetsurou," he whispered, giving him a small smile before biting his lip to figure out how to word it. "After our miscommunication, we started hanging out more and so did Lev and I. Even though I had you guys, I still didn't think Nekoma was home. I felt disconnected, I suppose, because all of you seemed to belong in the team and I didn't. It was hard for me to go to training and know that I was so close with you guys, and that we couldn't all play on the court together. Lev might be new to volleyball, but he's got a lot of potential, and when he gets his receives together he'll be really important in our teams defence. He's got a very different playing style than you and I, and that's what'll make him really good, because the opponents will have to adjust their mindset to someone new. But more than that, Lev also had Yaku, and you had everyone else on the team, meanwhile I struggled to make friends with people aside from you two. I missed Akiteru and Tadashi, and as much as I wanted to love it I just couldn't, not when even despite having you and Lev I didn't think I was needed on the team. I thought that you could have all been perfectly fine without me, and I still was upset that I couldn't play with Tadashi, but that's not even the worst part."

Kei shook his head and let out a sigh, guilt clear in his eyes. "I went back to Miyagi that weekend, and Tadashi had morning practice with the team at Karasuno. They invited me along, and they played. We had a three on three match, and it was a completely different dynamic, a completely different feeling to the way I felt at Nekoma. They didn't have real leaders when it came to middle blockers, and I could easily picture myself being a part of their team. I can't sugar coat it, and I know it's horrible, but I wished that I was there and that I'd never had to go to Tokyo. Tokyo wasn't home, but Miyagi was, and I felt like such a shitty person and such a shitty friend because you had been nothing but kind to me and inclusive and I wished I was there."

As he continued to look into the older male's eyes, he saw the flash of hurt in there when he said that, and his heart clenched. "Kei..." Tetsurou whispered, glancing away for a moment as he thought things through. "I get that you were worried, but you should have told me. I'm not mad, and I don't blame you for feeling that way since you didn't chose to come here, but I wish I could have known you felt like that."

Kei knew that it was going to be hard, but he couldn't not say this, or else he would regret it later. "But what good would that have done? There wouldn't have been anything that you could have done, Tetsu, and everything was sorted out by Saturday evening. Just, listen... I know I couldn't do anything about what had happened, that it wasn't my choice to go to Tokyo, that I was just struggling to deal with the change, but it still was wrong to feel that way and I know that. I literally broke down into tears about the whole thing, by the way, it was really bugging me at the time. But then, I don't remember if it was Aki-nii or Tadashi, but they asked me what I would do if I had the chance. If I could turn back time, forget about Nekoma, go back and play for Karasuno but forget Nekoma, what would I do? It was an easy answer, of course I couldn't!" He felt more tears begin to well up, but didn't let them fall. Now wasn't the right time yet, now wasn't even the thing he'd cried over the most.

"I may not have felt like I fit in right away, but I didn't hate it at a Nekoma. It just took me some time to realise that it was what I needed, that there was more for me here than Karasuno could ever hope to give. I've made some great friends in the team there, and Tadashi is there, but it's not Nekoma. It doesn't have you there to help me improve blocks, it doesn't have Yaku and Lev and Taketora and Shibayama and Inuoka and everyone else that I've learnt so much from. I have a blast playing volleyball with Karasuno when I go there, and I've got this strange rivalry with this guy Hinata, but not going there means I have more motivation to get better. It helped me get the confidence to ask Taketora if I could block his spikes, gave me a goal of things I had to work on for the weekend. And my brother made me realise the most important thing that weekend, Tetsurou."

At the use of his name, Tetsurou looked back, his eyes a little wider. Kei knew it would be hard to talk about all this, because even if Kuroo and him had the relationship they did, it didn't change the fact that he was the captain. He was the captain, and one of his teammates had felt like he didn't belong at first, but then was also showing to care about the team more than he'd known. "And... and what would that be?" he asked tentatively. Kei wiped his eyes, giving Kuroo's hand another squeeze, and he smiled.

"So what if we have four middle blockers? So what if I'm not a regular? We're a team, and the people on the sidelines are just as important as the ones playing. We spend the whole year together, working as a team and growing together, and even if not everyone plays it doesn't mean they worked any less hard than those who did. It doesn't mean that all the times together were any less special, and that it was a waste of time to work as hard as we do each day. Even if we don't all play on the court, each victory is one that we have as a team, and we're all a part of it. We're all part of Nekoma, we all share so many memories together already and we haven't even gotten to the point in the season where we're going against other teams. Our team is special, and it's made up of everyone, not just the people who are regulars. And when something happens on the court, when someone gets hurt — be it something minor like a nosebleed or something more serious — that's when it really shows how much of a team we are. Because who goes on to the court, but the people who have been preparing and putting in just as much effort as those who are regulars? If we can't step up and play when the team needs us most, it all falls apart. When I realised that, it made me really, really happy."

He couldn't help it, the tears began to flow once again, and when he looked up he saw that Tetsurou had a proud smile and watery eyes as well. Kei smiled up at him, letting go of his hand to hug him tightly, and found himself being held close in Kuroo's arms. "Kei-"

"I know I don't get to choose who plays, but if you and Lev get to play, I don't have to feel worthless on the sidelines, or feel like I don't need to be there. I'll know that I've worked hard, and that when you and the team need me most I'll be there. And next year, when you've graduated, I'll have learnt so much and can be someone the team can rely on them as well. That's why when two weeks later, on the Sunday evening before our fourth week... I got back from Miyagi, and my parents were waiting in the apartment for me. In hindsight, the reason they did it was probably because of the fucking arranged marriage, but at the time I thought it was because they were conscious about money. They told me that if I wanted, I could go to Karasuno, but if I chose not to I wouldn't be able to keep going down every weekend to see Tadashi and Akiteru. And if I went to Karasuno, I wouldn't be able to keep coming down to see you guys, so essentially they were making me choose between my two families. They wanted me to choose straight away, and I did. I chose to stay."

Tetsurou's eyes widened, and his expression shifted into a frown. He seemed confused, his eyebrows furrowed, and though Kei knew it was to be expected he still felt guilty. He knew he really should have mentioned this much, much earlier, that perhaps he wouldn't have worked himself til he collapsed if he had, but he'd kept it in. "Kei, what the hell? Don't tell me this is why you... and you weren't going down on the weekends... fuck, I should have seen it sooner," Kuroo whispered, letting out a soft sniffle of his own as Kei let out a soft sob. "I'm so sorry, I've been such a horrible captain and friend. I should have been there to help you, I should have done more, I-"

"How can you say that when it was me that pushed you away? I was the one that didn't let you in when I should have, and I feel horrible for it," Kei told him, letting out another sob. "It's what I've always done, and it's the only thing I knew how to do. I put my head down, and work hard, to try and prove to my parents that it was worth me staying. They expected me to go back, I know they did, but I knew that no matter what Akiteru and Tadashi would be there for me. I couldn't keep on going back to what I knew, to the easy path, and I couldn't just leave the team I'd grown to love so much. That's why I drove myself to the point of exhaustion, why I spent so many nights up late, because I not only wanted to prove to them that here was the right place for me, but to myself and the team. I wanted to work hard for the team and get better, and to prove to myself that I should be here and not in Miyagi." Kei pulled away, taking off his glasses and trying to wipe his eyes even despite still crying, and what hurt most was that Kuroo let him. He didn't keep on holding him in his arms, just watched him sadly, in defeat, and now Kei was too scared to do anything to try and begin that contact again even if he was still sitting on his lap.

They sat in silence for a bit, as silent as a room full of tears was, until Kei finally spoke up, his voice small and helpless. "It's not the first time that I've done this sort of thing, working myself to the point that I collapse or get sick, so I know how to hide it. I didn't tell anyone, but Lev kind of guessed cause of Tadashi and Akiteru, and to be honest I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did with Lev on my back. It's probably the only reason I didn't collapse after the first week, because we usually eat dinner together and he makes sure I eat even when I really didn't have an appetite. I have a horrible habit sometimes, I get completely irrational, and I don't know how to break myself out of it until all of a sudden things build up and break. I think that I need to do things on my own, I get scared that people won't understand if I try to explain, and a whole bunch of other things that seem all to real and logical at the time but aren't. I don't think, it just kind of happens, and then I regret it later. I want to let people in, but I don't even know how to begin, and then I get scared because you're all really happy and I didn't want to make it hard on you guys. I wanted to do well for the team, and for myself, but then I let everyone down, and now the whole thing with my parents happened and I'm more afraid than ever."

"They told me I'm a mistake, and I really, really feel like I am because all I ever do is mess things up and push people away and do dumb things. Perhaps I stood up for myself, and I told them no, but what I really did was confirm what I had known all along. I knew they never wanted me to exist, I knew they were just using me to their advantage, and so I banked on the fact that they wouldn't be able to control that hatred if they knew I was gay. On one hand, I'm glad they're out of my life because they're absolutely shitty people, but on the other hand it hurts because my whole life I just wanted them to love me, and now I know for certain that they don't. I don't know what I'm going to do, where I'm going to live, I don't know anything at this point! I'm just Kei, nameless Kei, the disgusting mistake. I don't understand why you love me, Tetsurou, I really don't." He looked away, trying to move off Tetsurou's lap as he sobbed, only to find the older male had wrapped his arms around him once more and pulled him in close. What was more, he could hear Kuroo beginning to sob, and the sound was simply heartbreaking to him. When Kei looked up, even through the blurred vision, he saw the tears, and he hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't be the person you deserve," he mumbled weakly.

"No, Kei, don't apologise for that. I'm sorry, I just never knew that you were suffering and going through much and it's hard for me to hear that you felt all of those things." Tetsurou cupped his cheek, the one that wasn't bruised, and leaned in for a kiss. It lasted longer than the other ones, and for once Kei kissed back, even though he had no clue what he was doing. All he knew was that for some reason, Kuroo loved him and was doing his best to show it, and he loved him back. The kiss was wet, but it was loving and somehow kept him from sobbing. "Firefly, oh god, I love you so much. I can't even begin to explain everything I feel for you, and I feel like I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You've done so much for me and for the team that I didn't know about, and yet you call yourself a mistake? I don't care if you don't have a last name, I'll give you mine if you want it, but you're anything but disgusting and a mistake. I've never met anyone so caring and thoughtful, and staying here when you could have gone to Karasuno? How the hell can I top that, when I'm not even sure if I'd have been strong enough to stay in your shoes? You're amazing, you're beautiful, and I'm never going to leave you," Tetsurou whispered, his own tears continuing to fall as he brought Kei in for another kiss. "I love you, I love you, I love you, and I promise I'll be there to help you this time round. Even if you need somewhere to stay, you can stay with me and I'll look after you and show you the life you deserve, because you deserve the world. So please, let me love you, let me in, and I'll make sure it all turns out good in the end."

Kei sobbed, but this time the tears weren't just of sadness and fear and insecurity, but also of happiness. He buried his face in the crook of Tetsurou's neck, the other male holding him close. His hands ran through the blond's hair, and he whispered loving things into his ear, telling him he was beautiful and perfect and that Kuroo would never let him go.

Things were hard at the moment, yet more than ever before Kei felt like he had hope. Tetsurou loved him, the Akaashi family and Bokuto were there to support him, he had Lev by his side, the team at Nekoma, and everyone back in a Miyagi. He was still picking up the pieces, but Kei was loved and cared for by so many people even if his parents weren't one of them.

"I love you, Tetsu, I love you so much," he cried, clinging tightly to him and nuzzling him gently. There didn't need to be anything said back, since Kei knew deep down that Tetsurou cared and it brought a warmth to his cold, lonely heart.

He said it back anyway, though, because Tetsurou couldn't help but tell him time and time again how he felt. "I love you too, Kei, I love you too."