This was not how it was supposed to have gone, that much was for certain.

Tsukishima Kei had always known what was ahead of him in life, he'd planned everything out meticulously, right down to the minuscule details. Following in his brother's footsteps, he would go to Karasuno and play in the volleyball team. His brother, while not on the main lineup, had still had a passion for volleyball that he'd given along to Kei, and as a result, Yamaguchi.

Their parents had never been particularly close with either of them, and so his whole life, as far as he was concerned, it was just him, Akiteru, Tadashi and whoever was on the volleyball team. Their parents didn't neglect him, providing for his every need or want with a swipe of a credit card. What they didn't do was provide him with the love and attention that each and every child deserves, they didn't nurture him and teach him values and morals. That was what Akiteru and Yamaguchi were for, yet even then he was often cold and unbelieving of love.

The marriage his parents shared was for money; the both of them ran big companies and it was for the benefit of those that they were married. They already had people in line to run them, should they decide to retire early, and they never pressured Akiteru or Kei to follow in their footsteps. They didn't even force them into boarding schools, as Kei had wanted to be at the same school as Yamaguchi and Yamaguchi wasn't about to become smart enough or talented enough to get into one of the high ranking schools in the area.

His parents were not uncaring, not forceful or cruel, but they just never formed that close, loving relationship with each other or their sons. Akiteru had been as a result of grandparents pressuring them into having children, and Kei had been a drunken, lustful mistake years later.

Kei knew it was possible to love, but he didn't think he would ever be loved or love someone else. That was wishful thinking, that someone would see him, and really love him for who he was. Tsukishima was smart, he was tall and had been called beautiful or handsome before, no doubt as a result of his natural blond hair (a rarity in Japan) and creamy, unblemished skin. He could play piano extremely well, having won multiple competitions and performed at important events his parents organised or were involved in. Kei always got extremely high grades, and while he didn't have the most stamina or muscular body, he was quite good at volleyball.

Despite all of that, his personality was often bitter or cold. Get past that, and he found himself being too trusting of people, the majority of whom let him down. Stick around long enough, and the person they would find was insecure, lonely and had barely any self confidence. Deep down, Kei was longing to be loved and find someone that truly cared about him, but he would never tell anyone that, because the same part of him that felt that way also believed it was impossible for someone to truly want him for who he was, despite his many flaws.

And so, he built up a plan for his life. He would go to Karasuno, step one. Then, he would go to University and either study music, biochemistry or archaeology and fossils, as well as playing in the volleyball team. That team would likely be the Sendai frogs, based on where he was looking to go after school. Following that, he would go into his selected field and do a damn good job at what he did, enjoying life with his brother, Tadashi, and his friends. He would live a long life, which he would spend romantically alone, and there wouldn't be a chance for his parents to hate him.

That was the other issue when it came to love for Tsukishima Kei; he was very, very gay, and there wasn't the slightest chance that he would ever even consider going out with a girl except for fake dating one of his friends and she really, really needed him to do so. He didn't really know what his parents believed, or what their opinions were. They weren't close enough that he could go up to them and ask without causing suspicion, and if they were against it then the conversation could end very, very badly.

Add on the chances that a guy would like him on top of the fact that he believed nobody would love him? That was practically impossible, since in his opinion, no person in their right mind would like him, let alone a guy that Kei liked back. He had learnt from a very young age that he was a magnet for annoying people that liked to bug him, after all, so the chances of a sane person coming along seemed to be rather slim if his past luck was anything to go by.

So, that was his life plan, and Tsukishima planned to stick to it religiously at least until it came to finding a job or university, because perhaps there would be another university or job abroad that would be better for him.

Yet, storming away into his room after a conversation with his parents, he knew that this was not going to go how he had planned after all. Two weeks before the new school year, and his first year in highschool, his parents had decided to move to Tokyo. They were opening a new branch of their companies there, and at least for Kei's highschool life they would live in Tokyo to oversee that.

Yes, they had promised that every weekend, unless it was around a big test or he was busy, they would pay for him to go on the train back to Miyagi to see Tadashi and Akiteru. They promised they would make it up to him and that the school they were going to send him to had a great volleyball team, that it had really great labs for chemistry and was very well equipped in music as well, but it wasn't really one of those 'snobbish schools' that he complained about it. Even so, this was not a part of the plan. This threw a spanner in the works and ruined his whole life plan, and Kei was not happy about it.

Akiteru had a job and an apartment of his own and so wouldn't be going along with them, and of course Tadashi couldn't go either. He would be leaving his best friend, and he would be alone, since his parents wouldn't spend any time with him. Weekends didn't make up for all the nights he would spend over at Akiteru's or Tadashi's, or that they would spend with him at home because then he wouldn't be lonely. Weekends didn't make up for playing on the same volleyball team with 'Dashi, weekends didn't make up for Friday night movie marathons with Aki-nii, they didn't make up for nights studying together or going for icecream after training or practicing volleyball with Akiteru after dinner.

Weekends and phone calls didn't make up for the loneliness he was bound to feel, because by train, Tokyo was three hours away, and by car it was even further away. Whoever was in Tokyo, whoever he might meet at Nekoma and in the team there, they were nothing compared to Yamaguchi and Akiteru. They were not his family, they could not replace that.

Yet, what choice did Kei have? It wasn't a decision he had to make, it was a fact of life and a fact about what would happen, and there was nothing he could do to change it.

For the first time in years, as he closed and locked the door and fell down onto his bed, he broke down into tears.

x-X-x

He wasn't stupid, of course, he'd told Yamaguchi and Akiteru the following morning. There was no need to hide it when he trusted the pair of them so deeply, with pretty much everything in life. He'd met up with them in person and explained it all, spilling his worries and everything he felt to them because they always understood and knew what to say.

But for Kei, even despite the assurances the pair gave him, he knew that they were just as upset about it. Yamaguchi was his best friend, they were attached at the hip since they met and Kei had called his bullies lame. Akiteru was his big brother, and they had a close bond that both of them treasured. Of course it would make them feel upset to know he was moving, and they told him that too. Tsukishima was leaving for Tokyo in two weeks time, and that was what was going to happen.
With that in mind, they all made the most of their weekdays. Akiteru helped Kei pack everything, Yamaguchi and him had sleepovers and Friday night movie night with his brother because Thursday and Friday nights.

Then, alone, Kei was sent off on the train to Tokyo. His belongings were waiting in boxes in an apartment, one which was about ten minutes away from his parents mansion. That had been his last request; if he was going to be moving to a new place, he wanted his own space, and not a massive big house where he was surrounded by unused luxuries and empty halls. He'd be alone in the mansion anyways, so why not be alone in a space that he could call his own? He was responsible anyways, and the bills would be no more than they would be if his parents were paying for the mansion. They had too much money, so buying the place meant nothing. It meant they didn't have to pay for a birthday present for the next few years anyways, and along with the train tickets, it meant that he couldn't complain that they didn't provide for him or care. They never saw him, they never made an effort to, and they would be even more busy now they had their new business to work on on top of their previous work.

The apartment was clean and cozy; the couch in the living room in their old house that he was so fond of had been sent, along with his own bed. At least his parents knew where he spent his time, and gave him the things that would make him feel more comfortable. It was that, or they wanted to buy new things for their place and giving them to Kei meant it wouldn't go to waste.

Also in the new apartment there was the grand piano he always played at; in good condition but not as 'great' as the newer ones that his parents liked better. There was the old tv, the four person wooden dining table his parents disliked, but that Kei always sat at for breakfast and dinner, since it wasn't as lonely as the massive dining table. There was the bookcase from his room, and the four years old tv that was of good quality but similarly to the piano was not the newest and most impressive. The desk in his room, the beanbag chair, the pillows and blankets, even the plates and bowls that Kei used because they weren't fancy and the things he used to cook his own meals, it was all there for him in his new place.

All the little pieces of 'home' that were accompanied by his many memories with Tadashi and Akiteru, all the things he liked about where he had lived, he had in this new apartment. Everything, but the two people that would have loved it most. He was only fifteen, yet living on his own like this was more at home than he'd ever been, while simultaneously being the most lonely.

And so, after unpacking what he would need for school the next day and making a quick dinner of cup ramen (because he was tired as hell), he grabbed a blanket and his laptop. Sitting down on the couch, he began the Skype call with Tadashi, and then his brother, and then he went to sleep.

None of this had been in his plan, and life was now uncertain. Yet, despite the changes, there was a strange feeling of apprehension and nervous excitement for the day ahead.