It felt horrible being hated by someone who knows so much more about life than me. I wasn't with my thoughts for long cause my dad called.

D: Hey, I've got some bad news to tell ya.

M: Dad? I don't think I can take that. I literally already have a bad kinda day.

D: It is very urgent. Your grandmas were in an accident and they didn't make it...

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I wasn't able to just sit there and cry again. I had to be strong or get away from people in general so I can cry. People say I probably just want attention now, but to be honest, anxiety and depression is something you wanna deal with alone. That's how I feel. I don't want people to act like they care and hell definitely not people who actually care or love me. Why worry about someone when you can just leave them alone and be happy for having a better time? Well, I don't know the answer even tho I care more about others than myself. I still call myself selfish tho cause often this motto or whatever you wanna call it, just disappears and then I only fight with people I love.

Actually, I left the living room after what happened with Blair so I don't bother the guys and Oda. I love them to bits so I went upstairs and laid down on Andys bed. Only a few seconds later, Andy came in, sat next to me and just cuddled me like I love it and he does too. After more tears, cuddles and a long talk about what I will do, we fell asleep. Me on him, he kissing the top of my hair while soft snores coming from the both of us.

Very sorry about the short chapter but I'm currently in the hospital again and I just have to deal with a lot of stuff that comes along this story. I love you all and I'll try my best to get better at writing. and my hand is bandaged because of surgery and anaesthesia so I wasn't able to write that much because it hurts a lot. Love you and see you on the flipside...