Your memory plagues me occasionally, and I often remember you in my dreams.
Your voice haunts me now and then.
Even now, the ghost of your memories follows me.

- Ren, Ode to Arslan

"Does she have a name?"

Placing my palm on the cold glass, I asked, and as expected, my question was met with silence. I am aware his gaze was on me. I didn't have to look at Ren to confirm this. He knew what I was thinking, and with a small sigh he answered, "Her name is Aria."

"Is she on the transplant list?"

"Yes, but she's too young to receive a new heart. Arslan-"

"One soul must leave for another to survive. Isn't this too cruel?" I could not stop my heart from feeling heavy. "In the agony of pain, a wish is born. Even if life is taken, a life in return is given."

With a deep sigh, I reply, "Ask your team to call Apo and send him all her bills. I'll sanction them."

"Arslan-"

"Ren." This time I made it a point to face him and bestow my radiant smile. "I can't let you always have all the good merits by making anonymous donations. I need them too. Helping people is the least I could do."

Turning back to face the infant, my heart ached for the small soul fighting to live her life as my inner struggle continued, 'This is the least I can do, Ren. Where I am going, there won't be any use for these material things.'

"Arslan... are you alright?"

Moving away from the window, I raised my hands and gestured for him to start walking. "Let's talk in your office. Are you busy, or do you have some time to spare?"

Glancing at his watch, the analogue one, he didn't like smart watches and believed they were more of a menace than helpful. Ren replied, "Yeah. I am done for the day, though there are some reports I need to sign before leaving. Why?"

He opened the door to his office, and I took a deep breath. It was warm and cute. Being a pediatric doctor, Ren's walls were all sorts of multicolored artistic works. They weren't drawn by professionals but by the kids who were admitted here.

Ren believed this brought them joy, and if this made their lives easier, he would let them draw on him too. His appearance might look tough, but he's a sweetheart that way.

Taking a seat on his couch, I shook my head at his obsessive compulsion to drink coffee. "Why don't you use that coffee maker I bought for you? I can't believe you're still drinking instant coffee."

"Hey!  Don't mock it until you try it. Plus, it's all fancy, and who has time to wait for the coffee to brew? There are days I leave my half cup full and not empty on this very table and rush to attend emergencies."

"True. True."

I have experienced this. When we'd be out for movies or dinner, he would leave things half-done.

"It's glad that you aren't dating, or else imagine the horror of leaving them in the middle of sex and running around."

I did not miss his flinch and mentally kicked myself for being stupid. "Do you have any tea?"

'Great Arslan. Try to make it right by asking him to do more work for you.' Shaking my head at my thoughts, I observed him place a cup of instant tea in front of me.

Giving me the stink eye, Ren warned, "Not a word about this from you. This is all I have. Take it or leave it."

"Aw... I'll drink a bottle of poison if you give it to me with your dimpled smile."

Finally giving me his sweet smile, I took a sip and was about to spit it out when his frown was back, and I had no choice but to drink it.

"Where Ms. Rosaline Cha?"

She was Ren's beautiful, trustworthy assistant.

"Probably home with her family."

"You do realize she has a crush on you, right? Why don't you date her?"

He continued to drink his coffee, easily ignoring me and my words.

"How long are you going to stay single and not ready to mingle? She's cute and beautiful. The other day she went out of her way to make me feel good and wanted."

Without lifting his eyes, Ren asked, "Could it be because she wants to date you?"

"You're joking, right?!" I was aghast at his words. "Ren, sweetheart, my love, please look around and appreciate what people do for you. I have come to realize life isn't that long."

"What?" This time his eyes met mine, and realizing the error in my words, I quickly gulped the tea to stop more nonsense spouting out and to think of something quick.

"I'm just saying go out with her. In a few weeks, it will be Valentine's Day. Take her out for a nice dinner and maybe some champagne or wine. Venice? I'll book you guys a vineyard, and you can have a nice romantic night with her there."

"Why are you here?" He asked outright.

Okay... Seems he's going to ignore all my suggestions.

Patting his thigh, I acquiesced for now. Backing down sometimes is better with Ren. I'll badger him later.

"Let's take our annual vacation early this year."

At my sudden suggestion, Ren cocked his eyebrows.

Ever since our graduation, Ren and I made a pact that no matter where we are or how busy we are, we'll make time for each other and go on some kind of trip, like an annual vacation. It was a tradition we have maintained up until now.

Up until now we've seen everything that possibly was considered exotic. From Aurora Australis to Aurora Borealis, Artic expedition to backpacking across Europe, Asia and Africa.

"What?" He was shocked, as expected. "This is..."

"Spontaneous?" I had to fake a smile.

I couldn't reveal the real reason why I wanted us to take this vacation now. My soul wouldn't be able to bear the thought of not having one last trip with him, knowing that after this, there won't ever be we in our tradition.

"Agreed, it's out of the blue, but hear me out. You know in a few weeks I have a concert coming up and after that I am going to go away-"

"What?"

Biting my inner cheek, I covered my error with a grin and said, "I am planning to organize a world tour. That would leave me with no free time to take a  trip with you this year. So please, let's go now."

"But my patients?"

"I know, but haven't you pulled a lot of late nights for your colleagues?" I'm sure they'll cover for you. Plus, we won't go far. If an extreme emergency arises, you can catch a flight back. What say?"

"I need to organize a few things, Arslan. When do we leave?"

I needed to organize a lot too.

"How about tomorrow evening? That way you have time to set your affairs straight."

His eyes didn't waver from mine. Not even for a minute, and under his scrutiny, I wanted to squirm. But in the end, I held on.

"Fine. What's your plan?"

Pulling myself up from the couch, I stretched my whole body and let out a loud yawn.

Ruffling his hair, I replied, "Will text you soon."

Making my way towards the door, I gave him one last smile and walked out. My steps were quicker to take me away from the hospital, and as I got into the cab, finally, I let myself cry silently.

'I am sorry, Ren. I didn't want to lie, but I can't reveal the truth as of now.'

"Sir, are you alright?" The cab driver inquired, and all I could do was pull my cap further down to cover my face and nod.

'Am I? No, I am not. I assumed my life would be long. I thought I could create more music. I figured life would be forever and we would take many trips, but now...'

Fishing my phone out, I texted Apo, "Book an appointment for tomorrow morning with Attorney Ms. Han. Let her kindly know it's urgent."

I received an instant text. "Alright."

"Also ask Mr. Kai to call me tomorrow. Need to ask him to organize a trip for Ren and me."

"Alright."

I had to smile at Apo's short answers. After Ren, I'll be missing this guy a lot. I eyed the passing lights from the window as my cab sped through the night, and all I could do was hold everything in my heart.

Word Count: 1458