Castiel didn't quite know why he decided to pop in. He heard you- very clearly initiating a prayer- which very clearly was an accident-

Heard you ramble for a bit-

He listened to you as if your voice was a radio program playing in the car. Heard it static off back into an empty signal. It was obviously not a prayer- he knew this.

Yet.

Despite that, he decided to visit. First to the kitchen- pulling a worn coffee mug from the cabinet. The tacky Christmas sweater on the front was worn with how often it was used.

Then came the water, and then off he went to your room.

The amount of time he spent, standing just outside your door with thoughts of rejection filling his mind, he couldn't quite entail.

For what he would be rejected of? He didn't know. Was it the water? Would you not enjoy the fact that he chose the exact cup you wanted? Or the temperature- would it be too cold?

The rest proceeded as you know- you throwing the door open, apologizing, being handed your water, before Castiel decided he didn't want to be in the hallway anymore.

From the dim hallway, to the backseat of Dean's car- it was a stark contrast- and Dean cursed as Cas appeared.

"God! Cas- give me a warning."

Cas didn't reply.

Hand still firmly pressed against his mouth- forcefully if anything.

He pushed his back against the leather of the seat, curling up on his hand with a shaking arm.

Dean paused, looking back at the angel through the cars mirror, "You all right?"

Dean's question broke the silence, and finally Cas said something- or rather made a noise.

A smothered giggle of a noise- a laugh with so much excitement that one couldn't help but attempt to suppress.

A toddler who stole candy.

A fox who finally stole a chicken.

A high schooler who just had just said hi to their crush.

"Heehee-"

Dean stared at Castiel as though he had grown a third eye- mouth agape as he watched Cas let out a giggle to himself.

"The fuck-" Dean started, stopping when Cas straightened himself, and dropped the smile that was on his face.

Dean continued to watch him. An eyebrow raised, and mouth still pulled up with a strangled expression.

"The fuck was that."

Cas merely looked at him, blank face stone cold with a petulant look of sour indignance, "What was what?" He simply said.

Dean twisted himself to face Castiel, "Oh- I don't know- the giggle fest you just had??"

Cas squinted at the Winchester, his back straightening even farther. He kept his mouth aptly shut- only staring forwards at Dean, "..."

The awkward silence that pasted them was absolutely excruciating, no one seemed to want to make the first move to talk again.

Dean- pursing his lips- raised both of his eyebrows in his own mock way of trying to insist that Cas tell him more.

Dean started to speak, a warning in his tone, "...Casss-"

"-(Y/N)." Cas cut in. A single word, spoken in a begrudged manner- as he honestly didn't want it to slip from his lips- not to Dean- or Sam- or anyone for that matter. The fact that it still came out made him want to bury himself ten times over- because, swearing at his father above, he clearly could.

Why would he not want to hear your name from his mouth?

He loved to hear it said.

Why would he act as though you weren't allowed to be spoken of?

He didn't understand-

He just knew he didn't want to tell something.

Dean just cheekily looked at him, smile that of a weasel, "Annnd...?"

Castiel stared hard and long at him yet another time, squinting and wondering why he ever dropped your name in the first place.

"She...." Cas paused, relenting and finalizing his thoughts, "She makes me, very, very happy...."

Dean watched in silence as Cas worked things out in his mind.

"I find the overwhelming need to smile around her rather disturbing." As he said this, another grin rose to his face- as giddy and excited as before- his hand immediately slipping to his mouth to cover the grin that began to form.

He took a few moments of covering his mouth and tapping his foot before his face fell back down to neutral.

"She's very nice to me. And I appreciate that."

Finally finished, Cas looked up at Dean, who's cheeky smile had finally dropped as he had lost much of the initial interest.

They both kept looking at each other- Cas with that lost puppy look he always has on, and Dean with an 'I'm finished having my fun' look.

"What- you want advice?" Dean said, questioning the motives of Cas's intense staring.

"Advice for what?" Castiel replied, shifting further forwards.

"You know- the (Y/N) problem." Dean grouched out.

"I wasn't aware there was a problem- is there something I don't know about?" Castiels worry became very prevalent- brow instantly furrowing and lips dipping downwards as quick as he said it.

Dean huffed, turning back in his seat to look back out the windshield, "No. There's no problem-" he pursed his lips again, "God- you sound like a hormonal chic tryna ask her prom crush out."

Cas relaxed, sinking back into his seat and letting his face revert to a neutral emotion, "Good- no problem."

"..." Dean eyed Cas in the mirror for a bit, taking turns between glancing at the store Sam still had yet to get back from and Cas's worried expression.

"So why'd you pop back in the car? You coulda gone anywhere else to get your giggles out."

Cas sucked in a breathe.

"I don't know- Dean." He frowned yet again, "I feel you may be right about my search for advice." Rubbing his chin, Cas sighed, before running a hand down his forehead, "For what? I'm not sure."

With little to no notice, the car door clicked open, and in waltzed Sam, stepping into the car and digging through the grocery bag as he settled into the leather. The atmosphere from before faded as he finally situated himself, still rifling through his bag and totally oblivious to the serious tension from the previous conversation.

Both the angel and Dean watched as he did this, watched as he took a pack of cookies out and placed them down on his lap.

He plopped the bag down onto the floor, acknowledging Cas with a simple, 'Hey Cas.' before turning to Dean with a sorry look.

"Alright- so- they didn't have pie- but they had cookies- so that should hold you over."

Silence.

Cas knew the intensity of the situation.

Sam knew the intensity of the situation.

Dean stared at Sam with a blank look.

"I NEED MY PIE DAMMIT--"

Cas stared as Dean and Sam engaged into an almost aggressive conversation. Watching their tense bodies, and strewn brows.

You never acted like that with him. You were always so unbelievably patient.

You let him work things out on his own, you guided him when he lost track, and you were always just- so calm- about things.

He... loved it.

With a silent gasp Cas looked up at the brothers who were still arguing, Dean starting the car up with a rumble while indignantly saying that 'cookies aren't shit to pie.'

Someone finally figured themselves out. And that someone was definitely Castiel.

The need to hide rose very quickly in him- and he in turn rose to pop into existence somewhere else.

He very quickly realized that, 'Oh- I usually take solace with (Y/N)' which was not an option in this chess board.

So he settled back down into his seat, blankly looking at the roof of the car, and letting the purr of the engine become white noise to all the swirling thoughts inside his mind.