[24]
The red silk of her dress was almost peeled off when her eyes got caught by the trails of scars on his back. And though she had before felt the permanent creases on his callous skin, seeing the ripped surface made her pause for a moment, her fingers tentatively trailing down his back.
The scars were old but etched deep into his back, reminiscent of the crowbar that had struck his body several times, tearing apart each bone and joint into a bloodied mess. And though the Lazarus Pit had resurrected him, joining up his bones and sewing his skin together, the scars were still there as a constant reminder.
Bluish green connected with her azure irises and shortly after, his eyes shifted in panic as if he had just then realized something. She could see his scars by then and he had almost forgotten about it altogether.
But seeing the melancholic glimmer in her eyes, the question resting on the tip of her tongue and the fact that she might ask from him what he never wanted to answer made him retreat.
"What happened?" She took his face in between her palms gently, soft azure eyes looking at him in concern.
"I can't..." His heart was beating fast and his gaze was intense but he backed off as if suddenly scared of something, as if an unknown fear had gripped him and he could no longer focus on anything else.
"Jason, stop," she sat up, her hands reaching out to grab his arm in order to stop him from pulling away.
She didn't understand the sudden change in his mood and it made her get worried, thinking that perhaps she had stepped over a boundary and risked their relationship. As always, the fear of losing him crept into her heart despite her attempts to convince herself otherwise.
"I'm sorry," his voice was rather choked, as if something was suffocating him from the inside, "I... Not now... Please."
She let go of his arm at that as she was always rather understanding towards him. But her features were evident of concern and constantly she was thinking what she had done wrong. Evelyn had planned the whole evening extensively so that they could have quality time together but it seemed as if the conclusion to the night had gone horribly wrong.
Her eyes did not leave him for even a second but she kept silent, giving him space to either open up himself about his sudden reaction and even if he decided not to do that, she did not want him to feel pressurized.
And though she expected Jay to leave then and there for he was always abrupt, he stayed but not a single word passed through his lips. Still she waited for him to come to his decision and a few minutes passed in an awkward silence.
An apologetic sigh escaped Jason and he brought his eyes to meet her concerned gaze at last, the frantic blue irises flecked with green connecting with hers. "I don't want to recount it all again," he spoke up finally, "don't ask me how I got these scars."
"I won't," she breathed in a low voice, her hand reaching out to caress his face though she was a bit reluctant whether he would let her do so or not, but he didn't pull away then so her palm fitted across his sharp cheekbone gently. "But Jason, if you kept bottling it all up inside of you, I fear one day you would explode. It's difficult keeping such a lot in, sometimes you have to let go."
He considered her words before replying, "I don't want you to get worried on my account."
She shook her head, eyes glimmering in a soft sadness, "Jay, I thought by now you would know what it is like to love and to be loved by someone."
Confusion flickered on his face but he let her resume.
"What you never really understood, even though it's been a month since we have been together, is that there is an unconditional factor to every single thing we may do for one another."
Her hand entwined through his fingers, pulling him closer slightly.
"When you are in love, you get connected to the person you love," her voice was soft and soothing as she elaborated and though he had been feeling unnerved earlier, he gradually eased again, listening to the gentle tones of her voice, "just like the way you felt my wish of being able to see again and even without me mentioning it to you, you did all in your power to make that dream come true. Similarly, I can see you're hurting inside, Jay, and I want you to overcome it. I want to be of help to you because you've done the same for me."
"I'm fine..." He insisted though his eyes had contradicted his statement.
"But for how long?"
Her words were impeccably honest, just like she had always been with him. Eve had good instincts, a trait that had been strengthened in all those years she had to adapt to navigating the world without her vision and by then her instincts had grown so strong that she could sense exactly what he was going through.
And as she could sense his emotions, she felt a strong need to make him overcome the traces of trauma that still lingered in him and caused constant hindrance in his attempts to move on from his past.
"Jason, I am not forcing you to tell me anything," she tried one last time to make him see her perspective, "all I want is for you to understand that your well being matters most to me. If you don't want to recount anything from your past, then don't do it. But don't let it shadow your present either."
"But how...? Every night I close my eyes, I'm still there... It never ends."
Pain glistened in her azure eyes as she edged closer, lips connecting with his in a soft reassuring kiss, "maybe because you still blame yourself for it and the guilt doesn't let you move ahead."
"I blamed Bruce all this time... I blamed him for letting me die, for not avenging it, for..." His voice trailed off yet again for the memories were striking with full force.
"How I see it right now is that you apparently blamed Mister Wayne," she spoke up after a thoughtful pause, "maybe because thinking it was not your fault makes it slightly easier to cope with it. But then there's this thing we call conscience and it strikes back... I'm not wrong, Jay, am I?"
Her words concealed a deep meaning that he could see in bits and pieces, partially understanding what she was trying to make him see. "You're... You're too correct, as always..."
She took in a deep breath, "then take my word for it this time and let go. Whether you blame yourself or Mister Wayne for your past, the truth is that it would still have happened even if you hadn't been on fault or vice versa. It would still have happened because fate can not be altered. But then when you really think about it, the fact that we are here at this moment, close to each other and together... That too is fate, right?"
Her fingers gently caressed the skin underneath as she cupped his face, azure gazing softly into bluish green.
"Sometimes, you focus on one side of the picture but try and look at the other side too. It was fate whatever happened to you and yet that same fate brought us back together. What I want you to do is to accept this fact. And trust me, Jason, the moment you will accept it you will see how much of a difference that would make."
***
The doorbell rang and Evelyn climbed off the breakfast counter in order to answer it. Jason was making breakfast, the apron tied loosely over his casual shirt and pajamas while Eve had been reading out the newspaper.
But as the doorbell had rung she offered to go check and he let her do so for the tea on the stove was about to boil and he did not want to make a mess in the kitchen at all.
Evelyn was delighted to see Tim outside and brought him in soon enough. His blue eyes got caught by the rose petals and the candles that were still there from previous night but he made no remark, sitting next to Eve at the counter.
"Morning Jay," he mumbled, his fatigued eyes dropping shut.
"Oh look what the cat dragged in," Jay remarked, poking him with a ladle to wake him up from his half asleep state but to no avail.
The boy looked a lot more exhausted than usual, his usually pale skin seemed to have lost all of its color and there were dark rings round his vivid blue eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days and had been surviving on full jugs of coffee alone.
"Tim, you probably haven't had breakfast yet that's why you're so low on energy," Evelyn remarked, fetching him a cup of milk that she warmed first in the microwave then adding a spoonful of honey, she handed it over.
"Is this coffee?"
"No, it's milk and you are drinking this or else the consequences won't be favorable," she added.
Tim's eyes opened slightly, a slow smile taking over his features as he took the cup from her, "yes Ma'am."
"You better finish that up or I'm roasting you at Thanksgiving," Jay obviously had to add a threat somewhere too and that's what he chose, making both Evelyn and Tim laugh.
"I hope you meant roasting me with your insults and not actually roasting me like a turkey. "
"Why take the risk? Jay could mean either of those things so the best option for you is to finish up the milk," Eve added lightly.
Tim shrugged, "besides I would taste horrible and I'm so skinny that whoever you would be having over for Thanksgiving won't get a single morsel."
"Oh come on, Tim, you think we're cannibals?" Eve remarked though her eyes sparked in amusement, "of course you're not going to be roasted like a turkey. I won't allow it."
"Thank heavens..."
Jay's eyes flickered towards Evelyn, noticing that she appeared rather normal, as if last night hadn't happened. But then he realized it was her way of showing him that not everything had to be held on to. Sometimes it was necessary to let go.
"So what brings you here so early?" Eve asked from Tim when he had finished it and gave the cup back to her.
"Oh you haven't heard of Bruce's new masterpiece, or did you tell her Jay?"
"About Damian?" He thought but then shrugged recalling that he never brought up his family anymore.
"Damian who?"
"Damian Wayne," Tim elaborated with an overexaggerated pained sigh, "the Satan in human form. In other words, Bruce's biological son and the latest terror hell had decided to unleash upon us. Serves us right for sticking up for Gotham... Or maybe there's no God and Satan would love to listen to the prayers of all the criminals we've put behind bars..."
"Enough," Jay rebuked him slightly because even though Eve was aware of their family secret, he still felt it a need to keep conversations regarding that topic to a minimal.
"Oh so you have a new family member. That's a good thing."
"Evelyn, you've got to meet Damian then to realize how far from a good thing this is," Tim remarked sourly and that seemed a rather out of character reaction from him such that even Jason turned to look at him closely.
"Nobody give him coffee for another hour and I'm sure he will start spewing out nonsense about some mythological creature next."
"Jason, I'm not kidding!" His voice rose slightly but as he was tired, it dropped back to the faint tremor, "in fact the reason I came to you guys is because I wanted to ask would you be kind enough to let me live here for a few days? I'll not be a bothersome tenant, I swear and..."
However, he was cut short as Jay stood right in front of him, "excuse me? You living here?"
"For a week? Okay fine, for two days? Please? I need to regain my peace of mind before the gremlin obliterates it to nothing," his blue eyes were wide in an entreating look and Evelyn was obviously the first to took pity on him.
"Of course you can stay. And come on Jay, what nuisance could Tim be possibly?"
Jason considered, thinking all the possible ways Tim could be a nuisance but then the boy had promised and if there was one thing he had realized about Timothy Drake by then, it was that he stayed true to his word, no matter what happened.
"Fine, two days," he agreed at last and watched with an unnoticeable smile as Tim gave Evelyn a hug.
"Thanks Evelyn."
His eyes flickered slightly, "you ungrateful little..."
"You too, Jay. Oh and not that I'm returning your insult, of course not. I just meant thanks to you too. No need to take the wrong meaning," he added laughing as Evelyn ruffled his head affectionately, a smile dancing upon her features too.
***
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro