/not canon, thank god. but I watched shutter island and couldn't help it with this idea. i made myself cry/

Staring contest, it was a fun game, one he rarely ever won though with what he tends to challenge. A wall, a toy, a cat he sees in the alley, the paintings hanging on the school walls, the devil statue Dr. Cawley... Mr. Cawley kept back home.

But Izzy gave him his first win just the day after they met. Since then, his challenges made him champion, especially because of how fun it was to watch her slip up at his serious face as she closed her bleary eyes with a smile and laughter.

He never thought he could care so much about seeing one person smile.

They spent countless summer days together. Showing each other things, drinking from her flask in his car, listening to music on the grassy ground, eating out together trying to make each other's drinks come out their nose, and making fun of one another's little tendencies, they'd talk about the world and the future and what might've been had they met sooner or later, of what might be beyond their lives at school and home, beyond their tiny town where God seemed to find harmless fun all the more horrible than anywhere else. Where they where free from their past if they could only count the days down to leave.

They cried. Few times, but they have together, in the comfort of each other. They rarely spoke those times. Their hurt too great for words, but their arms where open regardless. Things weren't pleasant anywhere, no matter how pretty the scenery.

Maddox twisted the doorknob one, two, three times. Opening the door carefully as he stepped out in a happy hum. Summer was ending, and genuinely, he couldn't be sadder, but that didn't mean that the day would have to be a bad one because he was. No. He had plans. A day with Izz, some breakfast first, then a spin by the mall, and the rest of the day for them to decide and burn as they pleased. A good day. A fun day.

Without a word to the quiet figure that sat sipping at his coffee at the end of the table Maddox sat obediently. He didn't have to say anything. He was never forced, but he did need to be seen. So there he sat. Silently holding a cup of apple juice he had no real craving for as the man sipped at the steaming cup, eyes looking over papers he had in a neat line across the polished wood.

He looked up at the blond boy, then silently scribbles a few things here and there with his free hand, before delicately placing his pen down, and giving him a dismissing wave.

Maddox downed the juice as quickly as he could manage, said thank you, and left as fast as he could. Ready to hop into his car to go see her.

He tapped the cars handle. Four finger taps as he unlocked it twice with the little key remote in his hand, pulling it open and slipping inside with a hum.

The boy rarely questioned what he did and why. He was a creature of habit, unbreakable ones one would notice only the more you watch and look. Steadfast in the ways that gave him comfort, security,... surety.

The blond clicked the dead radio to life and sighed. Strange music filling the car, songs he hasn't heard before as he drove off down the ways he remembered his best, and maybe, only friend lived.

The drive was swift, it passed by him quicker than he expected as he found himself dazed off in her driveway. Staring hard at the lights on her garage that where on in broad daylight. Blinking once before he got out of the car, sun spots burnt into his vision as he tried to walk up the sidewalk.

Someone whistled. Right behind his head as he turned on his heel. Hand already into fists as his eyes went wide with panic.

Curiously falling on the girl sitting on the hood of his car.

"Hey, sunshine. She isn't home."

He scrunched up his nose. Brows furrowed in clear, childish disapproval of her touching his things. She was tall, thin, dark red hair all tied up in a silky bun. She wore glasses, the cat eye kind Izz liked, dark lenses reflecting as much amusement as her curled red lips.

"Who are you to tell?" Maddox asked. Not wanting to get any closer as he relaxed his stance. He could just go up and knock to find out. But this lady coming out of nowhere suddenly confused the hell out of him.

And honestly, he didn't like that.

She slid off the car, her black heels suddenly stealing his attention as the clacked on the concrete. She was older than him, but he was having a lot of trouble figuring out by how much. She looked like a secretary from one of those old noir films he catches Cawley watching in the TV room late night.

A cigarette jut out from her red lips. Smoking as she puffed a small plume his way. He didn't see that before.

"A friend." She hummed as she stood in front of him, holding out a cigarette, a new one, for him to take. He didn't see this in her hand either until now. And immediately he refused.

"I don't smoke-"

"I know, I remember you eating one when you where 13. But try it." She insisted. Watching his jaw drop. Making her smile all the wider.

"How-"

"Want to go for a drive? We can take my car." She interrupted as she put the cigarette into his mouth, shutting it before holding his head, lighting it with hers before taking his hand.

She didn't seem to be asking as Maddox filled his lungs with smoke.

They where in the car before he could exhale, blazing through town, houses he couldn't even recognize running by.

He choked. Coughing hard and stuttering out how he wanted to go back much to the useless effort it was at whoever this was.

"I'm Jackie by the way. I've been with, watchin, you for a long time, Mads. I've been wanting to talk to you for a while." She said quietly.

"But how? I don't know who you are, where you a nurse? Do you know Dr. Cawley-"

"-do you remember the swing set those girls pushed you out of?" Her ruby lips moved. Nothing there as she pushed her dark glasses further up her face.

"Yes, but-"

"The shelf that crushed you hand?" She sped forward. The winding street suddenly getting longer to him, woods on either side as they blitz through. Maddox suddenly felt that phantom pain in his hand he held tightly closed.

"Y-Yes, can we slow down-" He felt his heart race as her foot seemed to flatten on the pedal, the engine giving everything it had as he squeezed his eyes shut. But she wouldn't quit talking-

"The bir-"

"STOP-" His hands reached for the wheel. Both fighting it before he wretched it to his side. The tilt and the force too much, the car tipping-

They sat still. The sporty car she drove sitting peacefully in the middle of the woods. Maddox's heart racing as he still clutched tightly to the wheel. Expecting impact. More interuptions anything.

But he sat behind the wheel. In his own car. His lungs burning as he heaved out a shuddering breath. Hitting the horn with his head as it blared into the empty wood.

"You're worried aren't you? For yourself?"

She stroked a hand through his hair. The touch calming. Soft. It made him tremble in fear.

"Yes..." He muttered. Swallowing thickly at the bile that rose in his throat.

"You didn't hurt her. You know that right?"

"Do I?" He said quietly. The way she looked at him last echoing in his mind. The ugly anger. The tears pouring down her face. The bruises wrapped around her neck.

"That wasn't your fault. It's what you have inside of you..." She cooed. Tugging his head to her chest. Tears soaking through the fabric as he shook. Skin crawling as his hands tried to wrap around her. Holding empty air.

He looked back up. Standing outside. Sitting beside her on the hood of the car as she slipped the glasses off her face. She had his mom's eyes. The same crystal clear blue that always terrified him.

"You're such a monster, baby. It's what you are." She said softly, almost the exact same words she told him that day. Hand tracing his face as she gently wiped the tears away. Looking into his red eyes as he looked down.

"She's my favorite. My best friend, Jackie." He pleaded. A sob wracking through his chest as she tsked. Pushing the whispy blond hair out of his face before kissing his blond head, red lipstick smeared across the front.

"You don't have any friends, Maddox."

Dr. Cawley sat beside him. The cot he set for him a depressing sight after the care he hoped would help the boy. His starch white clothes hanging off of him the same way they did when he was a young kid. Back in the same place as he sobbed into the man's shoulder. Tears threatening his own eyes as the nurses whispered just beyond the door.

•

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(Ow. Big ow.)

parabellums - Isadora

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