"Ew ew ew ew ew-" Sawyer watched the teen in front of him panic at the sticky mess he had on his hands. From what he's learned about the puppy blond so far, he was the weirdest fucking kid he has ever met.

"There's a reason people don't touch gas station counter tops, buddy." He said as watched him, the way he frantically held his hands out in front of him with wide eyes simply begging for help. He was like a germaphobe, but in a sad, sort of childish way.

"C'mon, lets go wash your hands-" Sawyer sighed, pulling Maddox by the sleeve of his odd shirt and leading him over to the most likely disgusting bathroom. But the blond seemed to heave a sigh of relief, the only facts on his brain the promise of soap, and water, and no more stickiness on his skin that felt like it was chewing at him like a disease.

Kicking the door open to the dingy stall light, both of them spent little time in heading over to the sink. Not sure they wanted to catch a glimpse of anything else that might be in there. Maddox held his hands under the running water, neither of them thinking about their actions as Sawyer helped him along. A lot like he did so many times when McKenna got messy when they where younger. The way Izzy usually did when she accidentally spilt something on Maddox when they went out drinking together. 

In silence did they get rid of the gloop that neither had any ideas as to what it could be, and as Maddox stared at his hands under the running water.

Sawyer ran his own hands over his to rid of the last of the suds. Curiously eyeing the way both hands suddenly seemed different to him. His left just a bit more closed, his middle finger a bit curved. The jagged scar on the palm... Suddenly standing out to him in a weird way.

"There. All clean." Sawyer said simply as he turned the faucet off. Watching as Maddox gleefully shook the water off with a smile.

"Thank you, cowboy." He said much to his irritation, still happily waving his clean hands free of the water dripping from them, waiting for him to open the door so they could pick up the cigarettes (and the candy Maddox picked out) Elias sent them in for. But as Sawyer grasped the handle, he thought to ask, a light, simple question.

"Where'd you get that scar on your hand from?"

He didn't think too hard about it as he stepped out, until he noticed the blond wasn't following after him.

Not, he pushed the door back open, looking at him curiously as his dark eyes where glued to his left hand. Looking at it as if he barely noticed it was there for the first time.

"That...." He thought about the cast he wore for what felt like years. Time moved that way as a kid. A blanch, almost yellow cast that he woke up to the day after the surgery they had to perform on it.

It was ugly, that was the first thing he thought about as he cried when he tried to peel it off, much to both his pain and horror. He was never more uncomfortable in his life during that time, but then again, he had to be reminded if the incident that put him there in the first place.

It was still the hospital he was in. The only child anyone had seen in that facility. Usually a well behaved boy, but he grew to close to the other patients for any nurses comfort. 

He avoided thinking about those things for a very long time. He wasn't one to try and bring up being a kid very often unlike everyone else. They even spoke about it for him, the way they found out where he grew up still puzzled him too. But they did. It was true.

But questions always hit him in a soft place he couldn't quite get out of. It felt like stepping on a bruise. 

There weren't any toys in the hospital. It was for adults, originally.

Besides, toys where dangerous. That was s truth he realized first hand.

He was seven maybe... Walking around in his little white button up pj's. The only clothes he was ever given, such plain, boring clothes. He wasn't in the tv room for a change, no, he was off, playing around and looking at what there was to see. There wasn't usually anyone watching after him. The nurses and doctors where everywhere after all. He was a sickly little kid no one could imagine getting into trouble, especially not with the way his doctor talked to him.

Maddox wanted to play. Not stare like all the others did at the fuzzy tv. It hardly worked with all the things people threw at it. And he wasn't in the mood to entertain the other's screams. He wanted to play, but had no one to play with.

He supposed he could draw in his room, Doctor Cawley gave him his first box of crayons yesterday, but he was too nervous to use them in front of him. The box looked so nice too, pretty and full of colorful wax. He didn't want to ruin them.

He strolled through the hall, small, slippered feet strolling past the doors, some people hitting them, others gently, weakly saying hi to him from the small windows, others silent. Whether because they where sedated, or watching, Maddox couldn't quite remember.

But a door was open. The first open door he had seen on this hall before. A nurse he recognized leaving it after a moment, shutting off the light, but leaving the metal door gaping into the dark room invitingly. She didn't spare a glance the little blond boy's way, in too much of a hurry to, notice  the dark eyes curiously trained on her. Yet, just as quickly as she appeared, she left. Turning down the hall and disappearing without a second thought.

After a moment of standing there, he found himself peeking into the doorway. 

The room was surprisingly dark for such a fluorescently lit building, it was as if the light had actually never touched that room, and he wondered what it was that the nurse had turned off. Light doesn't exist in places like this.

The doorway let in a trail of light though, a bit offset because of his bending shadow, but enough so that he could see the small bits of wood on the floor. Something had gotten messy. Maybe someone else had a 'fit'. 

He was just about to leave due to the disinterest when his moving shadow finally let something catch the light.

A rubber ducky.

His eyes lit up in amazement as his hands grew nervous. Balling up into little fists as he brought them to his chest in excitement. He had just seen one too, in a show he never liked watching. It was in the bathtub them, floating around in the half pixels of the screen happily, squeaky and happy and fun looking. He walked forward, almost tripping over the broom someone geniusly  thought to leave in the dark. He could barely see it like this, the way it was facing the wall too made it hard to make out. But he was certain. He knew it was really a toy.

It was a bit high up in the dim light that was cast over it, and now, did he notice the ducky was on a shelf on a bookcase like thing. He didn't know anyone had these in their rooms. It made him notice his room must've been much more plain than he realized.

He leant up, letting his hand disappear over the shelf, little fingers reaching over, arm leaning up against creaking wood as he almost touched the soft rubber with his hand.

The bookcase collapsed the moment he had it in his grasp.

He remembers more about that pain than he wanted to ever think about.

His mouth dried as he looked at his hand. Suddenly remembering where he was, what was happening, and who he was talking to, looking back up to see the wide blue eyes of Sawyer.

"I can't feel anything with it anymore...." He gently squeezed it back into a fist. It was a miracle that it still worked after everything those books crushed it with, the old, heavy bookcase the patient broke, stacked heavily with far too many books for a small child's bones to handle. The pain the surgery to rearrange it into place was.

A miracle. If only that was the only scar it left.

"But it's still so gross to have icky things touch it." He stuck his tounge out childishly. Already pushing the memories back before the bile in his throat rose anymore, so his aching head wouldn't push out tears if he did.

"O-Oh..." The curly haired boy said gently. Watching as Maddox passed him through the door he still held open.

"C'mon, everyone's outside, cowboy. Can I get a chocolate milk too?"

•••

(did I read over this? Nope. will I revise it? Nope. Did I feel like a monster doing this to Maddox? y e s.)

-wow-pink-
parabellums
SqoobySnaqs