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Tortuga Family

The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Trey : Would never stab anyone.

Belleza: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Fernando: Yells "I won't hesitate, b****!" first.

Liv: Would stab without warning.

Tito: Would stab as a warning.

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Tito: What do rainbows mean to you?

Trey: Gay rights.

Fernando: There's money.

Liv: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood.

Belleza : It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

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Trey: Hey, let's mess with Fernando, guys!

Liv: Hey, Fernando, your momma so fat-

Fernando: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Belleza : Well, uh- your dad-

Fernando: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Liv: The fuck-

Tito: Well then...

Trey: Stop, Tito!

Tito: Your grandparents so-

Fernando: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Fernando: You cannot best me, mortals.

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Trey: Anyone d-

Liv: Depressed?

Fernando: Drained?

Tito : Dumb?

Belleza: Disliked?

Trey: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

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Trey: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Belleza: 'Prettiest Smile'

Fernando : 'Nicest Personality'

Liv: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Tito: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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Belleza : Liv's refusing to wear their glasses!

Liv: Belleza , look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Liv: *points to Trey* Trey.

Liv: *points to Fernando* Fernando.

Liv: *points to Tito* Sasquatch.

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Trey: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.

Liv: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.

Trey: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.

Fernando: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.

Tito: Looks like someone's a HO.

Liv: NaBrO.

Belleza : I'm done with all of you!

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Liv: You three, explain right now!

Trey: It was Tito.

Fernando: It was Tito.

Belleza : It was Tito.

Tito:

Tito: ...fuck.

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Liv: Are we really going to let Belleza keep Trey?

Fernando: We kept Tito.

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Belleza: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Tito, Trey, Liv , and Fernando: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

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Belleza : Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Trey: It was Liv.

Tito: It was Liv.

Fernando: Liv broke it.

Liv:

Liv: ...yOU PROMISED-

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Liv: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl....

Fernando: ....

Belleza : .....

Tito: ......

Trey: ..Who?

Liv: That's the thing we don't-

*Everyone stares at Trey*

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Liv: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Fernando will and will not eat.

Belleza : Grass? Yes!

Liv: Moss? Yes!!

Belleza : Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Liv: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Belleza : Worms? Sometimes!

Liv: Rocks? Usually nah.

Belleza : Twigs? Usually!

Liv: Tito's cooking? Inconclusive!

Trey: How did you... test this?

Liv: You just hand them stuff and say 'eat this' and if they eat it, they eat it.

Trey: ... I don't know how to feel about this.

Tito: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

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Liv: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?

Tito: IT.

Belleza : Annabelle.

Trey: Paranormal Activity.

Fernando: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

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*Everyone is giving advice to Belleza *

Trey: It's okay to ask for help.

Liv: You're not a burden.

Tito: Murder is okay.

Fernando: Your feelings matter.

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Trey: Look guys, I need help.

Liv: Love help?

Fernando: Financial help?

Belleza : Emotional help?

Tito: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Tito*

Tito: What?

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Trey: What does "take out" mean?

Fernando: Food.

Belleza : Dating.

Liv: Murder.

Tito: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

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Fernando: Where's Tito, Trey, and Liv?

Belleza : They're playing hide and seek.

Fernando: Where?

Belleza : I don't think you get how this game works.

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Tito: Uh, Liv? Trey is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.

Liv: What?

Belleza : I think they meant, Trey is drowning.

Liv: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile*

Trey: *is drowning*

Fernando: OH MY GOD, TREY! KEEP SWIMMING!

Trey: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Fernando: TREY!

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Trey: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Fernando: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Liv: Drunk.

Tito: Wasted.

Belleza : Dead.

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Trey: Fernando is a strings kid. We must sacrifice them to the band gods.

Tito: Yes.

Liv: You're right. It'd be a good initiation for me.

Fernando: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed-

Tito: What truce?

Trey: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all the choir kids and leave the strings alone.

Belleza : Wait, I'm a choir kid!

Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*

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Trey: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Liv: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Fernando: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Tito: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Belleza : I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

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