Kathy: What do you think Jolie will do for a distraction?

Bobby: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Bobby: ... or they could do that.

🤑

*The group is getting into the car*

Kathy: I'm driving.

Jolie, out of view: Shotgun!

Bobby, turning to face Jolie: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Jolie: WOAH-

Jolie, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

🤑

Kathy, negotiating with Jolie: We have Bobby. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Bobby: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I'm only worth ten thousand dollars?

Kathy:

Bobby: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Kathy: BOBBY STOP

🤑

*The squad is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemon gym*

Kathy, joking: Jolie's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for their kid delivery once they best their minions.

Jolie: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no fucking guarantee that a kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated.

Jolie: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With fuckin pros!

Jolie: It's- It's gonna be brutal. It's gonna be a torture gym.

Bobby: Well- Well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like-

Jolie: YEAH, BOBBY. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH BOBBY. IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT.

Jolie: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA SHIT OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR.

Kathy: *Cracking up*

Jolie: YEAH, BOBBY. 'Uhh, go Caterpie! >~>' That's me, you FUCKING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhh- d-do your best, Kakuna!'

Jolie: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym.

Bobby:

Kathy: Okaaay-

Bobby: Alright, um, I'm gonna go. I've embarrassed myself...

Kathy: Maybe fire? Fire type?

Bobby: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?Jolie: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Kathy I'll probably just do a fire type one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP.

Jolie: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. SHIT I SHOULD'VE-

Bobby: Just do rock, then! Just do rock type!

Jolie, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...

🤑

Kathy: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Jolie: >:O language

Bobby: Yeah watch your fucking language

Chris : OKAY WHO TAUGHT BOBBY THE FUCK WORD?

Angico: 'The fuck word'.

Minkiril: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Bobby: Oh my god they censored it

Angico: Say fuck, Mink.

Bobby: Do it, Mink. Say fuck.

🤑

Kathy: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Jolie: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Bobby: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Chris : I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Angico : I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Mink:

Mink: I have emotional scars.

🤑

Kathy: I CAN'T DO IT!

Jolie, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Kathy: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Bobby: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Kathy:

Kathy: I appreciate it,

Kathy: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Chris : Kathy-

Kathy: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Angico : Kathy we gotta-

Kathy: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Kathy: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Kathy, motioning to Mink: NOT FUCKING THIS

🤑

Kathy: Time for plan G.

Jolie: Don't you mean plan B?

Kathy: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Bobby: What about plan D?

Kathy: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Chris : What about plan E?

Kathy: I'm hoping not to use it. Angico dies in plan E.

Mink: I like plan E.

🤑

Kathy: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Jolie: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents

Kathy: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Bobby: Actually I did the math, Jolie would have $225, not $0.15.

Jolie: Fam I'm right here....

Chris : If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Kathy: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Chris : Sorry I only have a dollar

Kathy: :(

Bobby: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Jolie would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Chris : If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Bobby: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Angico : Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Bobby: Apply juice to what

Mink: Directly to the forehead

Jolie: Great chat everyone

🤑

Kathy: Rules are made to be broken.

Jolie: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Bobby: Uh, piñatas.

Chris : Glow sticks.

Angico : Karate boards.

Mink: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Kathy: Rules.

Jolie: