Alligator and Chameleon family
*Angico drunkenly wanders around the house and Jolie is drunkenly giggling*
Arty, completely sober: *sighs* Well, looks like it's just me and you against the wold, Cammy .
Cammy , going to their room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*
🦎
Angico & Jolie in the back of Cammy 's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Arty : We have food at home.
Cammy : *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Angico & Jolie : YAYYYYYY!
Cammy : *orders one black coffee and leaves*
🐊
Arty: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Jolie : I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Angico : I got distracted halfway through.
Cammy : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
🦎
Cammy , teaching Jolie to drive: Okay, you're driving and Arty and Angico walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Jolie : Oh, definitely Angico . I could never hurt Arty.
Cammy , massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
🐊
Arty , teaching Angico to drive: Okay, you're driving and Cammy and Jolie walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Angico: Oh, definitely Jolie . I could never hurt Cammy .
Arty , massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
🦎
Arty: Christmas is cancelled.
Angico : You can't cancel a holiday.
Arty: Keep it up, Angico , and you'll lose New Year's too.
Angico : What does that mean?
Arty: Cammy , take New Year's away from Angico .
🐊
Jolie : Those darn tall old people.
Arty: Darm em' indeed.
Cammy : Don't worry, they'll be gone soon enough.
Angico : *sharpening knife* Yes. Dead.
The Squad:
Angico : Hahaha.
Angico : ...Is this self-destructive behaviour?
🦎
Arty: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Cammy : Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Arty: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Cammy : But I heard a siren.
Angico : That was Jolie .
Jolie : Sorry, I got nervous.
🐊
*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Jolie : Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Cammy : It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Arty: if you want information it is
Angico : why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?
🦎
Arty: Hey, I say we go down there, kick Angico 's door in, and let them know that we're in town.
Cammy : That ain't the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.
Arty: Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let's go.
Cammy : No, we just can't go in there and kick down Angico 's door. We need a plan.
Arty: Well who makes the plans?
Cammy : Jolie .
Arty: Jolie , what's the plan?
Jolie :You guys are gonna go down there, kick Angico 's door in, let them know you're in town.
🐊
Angico : My stomach growled super loud in French.
Angico : I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Arty: Bonjour.
Cammy : Le growl.
Jolie : Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
🦎
Jolie : What's wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone's throat out.
Angico : Fucking Arty and Cammy were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.
🐊
Jolie : I give up. I am so tired.
Arty: Get the emergency supply!
Angico : *carries Cammy and places them in front of Jolie *
Cammy : *smiles*
Jolie : AND I AM BACK BABY, LET'S GOOO
🦎
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword*
Angico : Rude.
Jolie : That's fair.
Cammy : Not again.
Arty: Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
🐊
Angico : I just want someone to take me out.
Cammy : On a date?
Arty: With a sniper gun?
Jolie : Both if you're not a coward.
🦎
Arty: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Cammy , Jolie , & Angico : Okay.
Arty: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Cammy : Bold of you to assume I have money.
Jolie : Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Angico : Bold of you to assume I can die.
🐊
Arty: *is hugging Jolie *
Cammy : Hey! It's my turn to hug Jolie !
Cammy : *grabs Jolie *
Angico : *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!
Arty: No, It's still my turn!
Jolie : *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!
Cammy : But we need the moral support!
Arty: And you're small! Which is cute!
Angico : If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.
Jolie : *close to tears* Well- Ik, I guess.
🦎
Cammy : I'm gonna die alone.
Jolie : Cammy , you're not gonna die alone.
Cammy : Arty, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake.
Angico : Uh-huh. Why is that?
Cammy : If I'm gonna be an old lonely person, I'm gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face.
Cammy : So I figured I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake", you know? Crazy snake lady.
Cammy : Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won't walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE LADY!
🐊
Cammy : What is love?
Angico : An emotional minefield.
Arty: A neurochemical reaction.
Jolie : Baby don't hurt me.
🦎
Cammy : I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Jolie : A doll.
Angico : A cinnamon roll.
Arty: A sweetheart.
Cammy :
Cammy : ...stop it.
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