Hello there! :D

I hope it doesn't take too long for this review to finish, but we'll see about that. Today's character is submitted by @tambourhemus and I'd say we instantly start with the review!

(they also have an OC review book, if you want more than one opinion on your OC, check them out!)

(rules as always; scientific questions, bookscience, chronological order)

[Authors note]

Harry Potter Bio Sheet by CriticalCritiques. The information + other stuff in here is NOT super canon complacent because I'm real forgetful like that and some things may be wrong.

It's ok, I know enough to recognize the super not-canon stuff (and I'll point that out), but otherwise it should be ok :)

Also a warning for a pedo teacher/student relationship bc I know some people don't like that :(

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST, PEOPLE: BEWARE! 

I myself am... really one of the people who don't like things like that. (This is why I can't fully go unbiased into this review, and I WILL talk about this. Stuff like this makes me really really uncomfortable, you'll see some of that later I believe). I have seen a few weird romance things, but a 20 year age-gap always is a huge no-go for me. Is it Snape? For some reason I have a feeling that Snape will play quite a role in her story. But I said I'd review this, so I'll have to grit my teeth... Odin give me strength.

Basic Character Summary (PoA): Rhea Baudelaire is a fourth-year Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, characterized by her short, curly, and fluffy 1920s-styled hair and her butterfly hairpin.

Very good short description so far

She's half English-half Cambodian and has strong interests in 1920's fashion, classic literature and potions.

POTIONS I KNEW IT (I know that this doesn't tell anything, but I'll leave that because it makes me seem intelligent B) )

Rhea also tailored her uniform, slightly customizing by adding some short, black lace to the hem of her skirt.

I mean, neat, that's really cool, but is that allowed? I mean, it isn't called a uniform for funs sake

Throughout her fourth year, she grows a bond with the newest DatDA teacher, Professor R J. Lupin,

Oh come on. I mean, Lupin is a good guy and definitely a better choice than Snape, but... the age gap. The possibility to favour her in his lessons. God I see so many bad implications

only to find out about his lycanthropy and their matching patroni, rendering them soulmates.

Is that a thing [me from the future here, it is. the same thing happened to Tonks in the canon story if I remember correctly]? And... (I'm gonna have to sit down) soulmates. With a teacher. And a 19 year age gap. In the films he isn't even 30 years old, he (technically) is so much older there, so it likely is.. more.. like oh wow. And she's a minor. I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

BASIC INFORMATION

NO NEED TO SCREAM, I CAN READ JUST FINE

Name: Rhea Baudelaire

The name Rhea means "flowing", with multiple possibilities of what is flowing: time, water, earth (for some reason). Baudelaire is a french surname with the meaning "short sword", and I have never heard a cooler last-name-meaning in my entire life.

Nicknames: Rey/Rhey; called such by close friends and family

nice

Age: 12 in 1991

Also good and reasonable for a Harry Potter OC (but the age gap... NINETEEN YEARS...)

Gender and Sex: Born female, identifies as female

I think I have seen very, very many women in my reviews so far. But hey, it's good, gender is a construct invented by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms

Nationality and Ethnicity: English – English/French and Cambodian

good

Birthday: January 10th, 1979

Very specific, but on the other hand, yeah, that's how birthdays work. She'd be a Capricorn for all my astrology geeks out there

Species: Human – Witch

That makes sense

Blood-status: Half-Blood

neat

Wand: a 9 ½ inch holly wood with a dragon heartstring core

Wow, you really thought that through, didn't you? I'll just quote screenrant.com what dragon heartstring means: "Dragon Heartstring is taken from obviously deceased dragons (although whether they are poached for this purpose is unclear). These different Harry Potter wands are both strong and dazzling, generating some shockingly bombastic charms and spells. They form a robust attachment with their masters and can be utilized for dark magic rather effortlessly. This is because they learn quickly, but can also change allegiance easily if moved on from their original masters with whom they originally bonded."

Furthermore this is what the same website has to say about holly wood: "Holly wands are not always the most consistent of the different Harry Potter wand types: their efficacy depends on the variety of magical cores embedded within them. The best-known example belongs to Harry Potter himself which is a great choice in this case because this wood is helpful for wizards who are reckless more often than not. These wands also are considered very protective of their owners and can help them overcome impetuosity and anger."

To the length I have nothing to add, it lies pretty much in the usual lengths.

Boggart: the dead body of her mother and father

I mean, makes sense, good choice

Patronus: A peacock, later turns into a wolf in 1993

(cries silently, because a peacock is a really cool patronus)

Amortentia (what she smells): The smell of nature (dirt, grass, tree bark, etc...), parchment, and after rain

Really good choices. Though I would guess that in 1993 that smell also has hints of Lupin to it? Is that how this works? But I'm really not mad he's not included in the Amortentia, because I will have problems when we get to their relationship.

PERSONALITY

YOU STILL DON'T HAVE TO YELL, BUT THIS TECNIQUE IS ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD TO NAVIGATE HER DESCRIPTION

Rhea is seen by others as very self-sufficient, friendly, and creative, especially by those younger than her. She's very generous with others and also quite proper, being taught proper manners at a young age.

Ok, that almost has a little Sue-yness to it, but as I myself know people like that, still good

However, after being blinded,

What

When did that happen? How? Why? Did someone throw acid directly into her face or...?

she quickly grows pessimistic and dreary, though she tries the best she can.

Makes sense, being robbed OF YOUR EYESIGHT can really be a reason to enter depression

Rhea also significantly matures after the incident, changing her demeanor and the way she speaks into how she thinks adults do.

Uh ok. Why?

Her previous radiant confidence and self-esteem crumble after she loses her sight and also her hopes and dreams,

As I said, makes sense

though, with the help of Remus Lupin, she's able to regain it,

...of course. Of course, that's how this plays out. Do you even know how many cute things they could have done together? (I'll ignore the age gap for this argument, I still think that's gross)

though not at the same amount she had before.

How exactly did they achieve that? I hope you have a semi-magic-scientific explanation for this, because if it all is resolved by a true loves kiss then I'm going to move to Middleearth and never come back.

Likes: Ever since she was young, Rhea has always been interested in the 1920s. From fashion, art, film and music, she adores the period.

That is a very specific interest, but very cool!

It's also the inspiration for the clothing she makes.

Also nice

She also has an affinity for potions as well as baking.

Great!

During her years at Hogwarts, Rhea found her comfort in the Black Lake, admiring its waters and the scenery around it.

It always seems to be the black lake that Harry Potter OCs seem to find comforting, or at least that basically always is the case in the stories I've read. Well, large bodies of water seem to just have that to them.

She would often be found studying there as well as moon gaze as she laid on the grass.

Moongazing? Really? I mean, it is really cool, and in the highlands you presumably don't have too much light from cities or other things, so you probably have a really good view, but that might be a little too on the nose. On the other hand, it is fun, so you do you.

Dislikes: Rhea isn't a big fan of snow mostly because she doesn't enjoy the snow's pure whiteness and how it turns its surroundings and nature cold and grey.

That is a very bizarre reasoning. I see why, but I myself find it rather nice how snow looks and feels. But different preferences still are a thing, so it's not bad I guess

She also isn't fond of traditional pets like dogs, cats, rats, and hamsters.

That is a little strange. Why? I mean, if you are scared of dogs and rats, I can still see that, cats can leave scratches if you look at them wrong, but hamsters? Those little floofballs not larger than a muffin? With those big eyes and everything? I mean, it feels like they die if you sneeze too loud (at least that's what the stories on the internet say), but really? Why?

How does she feel about large spiders? Or other giant insects for that matter? Are they gross to her? And what about Puffskein? They still are small and furry, bigger than hamsters, and a popular pet in wizarding families. As well as Crups and Kneazles. Those are literally the magic equivalent of dogs and cats. What are her thoughts on those and why doesn't she like the "traditional" pets?

Also I suggest giving her more that she dislikes, as here we have "snow, traditional pets", which makes two, and she has six likes, so add 4 to make it eve I'd say

Hobbies: the one thing Rhea aspires to be in life the most is a fashion designer, due to her absolute love of fashion. Th her free time, she sketches out ideas for outfit studies vintage fashion and design and makes her own clothes.

And baking. You said that in her "Likes" section, I'd add that in here as well, but it is really cool!

Strengths: Potion Brewing and Culinary Arts

And sewing

Weaknesses: Flying, Aerobics, Arithmancy, and Hand-to-Hand Combat

Yeah, me too...

Occupation: Student, graduated in 1996

good

Height: 4'8 at 12 and 5'2 at 18

a little on the shorter end I see. The measurements are 1,46m and 1,58m for everyone using the metric system

Weight: 95.8 at 12 and 130 at 18

Here as well, a little below average. 43,4 kg and 58,9 kg, again in metric system.

Skin: Her skin is medium olive with warm undertones and has slight pigmentation around her mouth that's usually covered with a light concealer

Very good

Face: She has a lightly round face shape with a slightly pointed, round nose,

What is it now? Pointed or round?

wide, heavy lower lips, and heavy lidded, hooded, and bright brown eyes paired with thick, long lashes and soft angled eyebrows.

That is surprisingly difficult to read like that, because there are so many adjectives that it isn't quite clear where the description of the next things starts. But otherwise, very good.

However, after being cursed by the Conjurtivus Curse during her fifth year, her eyes remain slightly swollen and permanently shut.

AHA! Now we have the cause (finally), and I can go research how it can be healed, gimme a second.

So, I'm back. And: according to the Harry Potter Wiki (that horrible hellhole) there are two variations of this. One is weaker, and can be treated with the Oculus potion, I'll explain that later. The other one is stronger, permanently blinding a target and it can't be treated from what I understood. So, in conclusion, she must have gotten the weaker version. Then again: the Oculus potion is a potion, so in theory she could ask Snape to do it for her. In practice, there is an even easier method: just go to Madame Pomfrey! In Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (you know, the game) she literally explains the potion to your character, but she can't teach them how to brew it right now because she is occupied with students. Ergo, she knows how you can make it.

So in conclusion: Rhea could've gone to Madame Pomfrey, waited in the literal HOSPITAL WING for her to have time and brew the potion and then give it to her. Two days, then Rhea would have her eyesight restored.

Unless you have created a third version of the spell, this isn't clear from what you've told me.

Rhea also has a few minor blemishes on her face that she usually covers with light makeup.

Ok

Hair: Rhea typically has a curly and short haircut in 1920s "French Side Part Bob" with bangs that barely reach her eyebrows. She cuts out her hair during her 5th year, styling it into a typical "flapper" haircut,

Everything in best 20s fashion

but always keeps her butterfly hairpin her father gifted her before her first year at Hogwarts.

Aw, that's sweet

Natural scent: A mix of baby powder, vanilla, burning wood, and parchment.

Wow, that's really neat!

RELATIONSHIPS

Oh god here it comes...

Parents: her father, an English/French wizard named Eric Baudelaire had fallen in love with her mother, Phuong Saeng, on a trip to Cambodia in 1974. The two fell in love immediately, going from sending love letters to marriage and living with each other in just a year.

Wow, that sure is love at first sight. But those were bOTH ADULTS WHEN THEY MET. Do they approve of their daughter's relationship? Because I think every parent would be concerned if their child brought someone twice thier age home and called them sweetie in front of them. ESPECIALLY SINCE THAT SOMEONE IS A TEACHER. AT HER SCHOOL. WHERE SHE LIVES FOR MOST OF THE YEAR.

Siblings: None. She's an only child.

ok

Best friend: Cho Chang.

I suggest that you add some OCs as friends as well, because you only have canon characters in here, and having more side characters with their own backgrounds just makes things more interesting.

Rhea has always gotten along very well with Cho, being friends since both of their first years. The two girls usually read and study with each other in the Ravenclaw commons as well as practice charms near the Black Lake after the school day.

But this sounds actually rather nice, so good job on this so far. :)

Friends: Hermione Granger – After meeting Hermione on the train to Hogwarts in Hermione's first year, she and Rhea became friendly with one another slowly turning into good friends.

I mean, usually you become friends like that, don't you? There are very few instances I've witnessed that two people were like instant best friends on their first meeting

Because Rhea is Hermione's senior, she tends to look up to her, admiring Rhea's confidence and school ethic (pre-1994).

Would Hermione do that? I don't know, I'd guess that Hermione would partially do that, you're right, but I'd guess that her ambitious way of learning is a thing she does with her own motivation, outside of "I want to be like her"

They both love to share information about history with each other whenever they hang out, and sometimes Rhea gives Hermione a shoulder to cry on.

That is something friends do. Leaving someone who is cRYING alone is a red flag in my opinion, you need to at least try to help. Would Hermione do that for Rhea?

Sirius Black –

Sirius, my best man, I hope at least you have some sort of sense for the thing of a NINETEEN YEAR AGEGAP. Please, don't disappoint me. One of them literally is your best friend.

After hearing about Rhea through Remus, they quickly became acquaintances before slowly becoming friends

As I said, that's typically how you make friends

before his untimely death when she visited 12 Grimmauld Place along with Hermione in 1995.

When I read this the first time I thought that in your story Hermione died as well lol

Though he was rightfully a bit sceptical

YES, MY MAN! FINALLY SOMEONE WITH A HUMAN BRAIN!

of Rhea and Remus' relationship with each other, he both knew they were happy and let them both be.

... why must you hurt me in this way. I understand what his line of thought was, but... the police are real, even in Scotland in the 90s.

Acquaintances:

Harry Potter - Being good friends with Hermione, Rhea was sure to meet both Harry and Ron at some point.

No shit Sherlock. They basically are inseparable.

She and Hermione both helped out Harry through the years whenever it came to anything like puzzle-solving or specific information.

Ok, I can get behind that

They never had any one-on-one conversations with each other, but Rhea and Harry both respected each other greatly,

Uh ok good I guess

with Harry happy that Remus had somebody that he loved as much as Rhea.

Did everyone get a nice and fresh Obliviate into their brains or why is no one questioning this? She iS FOURTEEN. HE IS OVER THIRTY.

Ron Weasley - Even with their frequent disagreements,

Over what? Which chocolate-frog-card is the best?

Rhea and Ron got along fairly well and enjoyed each other's company.

If they know each other personally, but she has never met Harry in person... how? I mean, he often enough is out adventuring, but throughout the years? Really?

She even tried to nudge Ron and Hermione together for a few months, knowing Hermione's love for him.

I mean, cute in itself, that's what friends of friends do (probably)

Significant Other: Remus Lupin

Breathe iiiinnnnnnnnnnn... breathe ooouuuuuuut... here it comes. I wish to see the light on the other side.

Since their interaction with the Trio on the train to Hogwarts in 1993, Rhea has been interested in getting to know him more, frequently thinking about him since he saved her, Harry, Hermione, and Ron from a dementor.

She was there too? ...wait. SHE WAS IN THE SAME TRAINCART AS HARRY. They must have spoken to each other, you can't tell me that they blissfully ignored each other throughout a ELEVEN HOUR LONG TRAINRIDE. You can't tell me that, that makes absolutely zero sense.

During her classes with him, she'd always be quick to answer questions and ask many of her own due to her thirst for knowledge.

That's how school lessons work. Literally.

She'd eventually give him things like muffins or cookies during her free period and ask him about different things related to the class.

To a normal person this is nothing more than an interested student who is interested in the subject, not the teacher!

This eventually evolved into Remus offering to teach her things outside of class in the form of private lessons and to their conversations slowly grew more personal. During these months,

MONTHS? I mean, yeah, he only was there for one year, but god that's little time. I also know that some people marry after knowing each other for not much more than that, but... god I could go and do a few things. Mostly destroy, but still.

an attachment and bond between Rhea and Remus grows and the witch develops a strong, yet unconscious love for him in her heart,

I have no idea on why, but the way this is written just seems incredibly slimy and just uharg. Sends chills down my spine.

causing her patronus to change into a wolf to match his.

Why am I the owner of a functioning pair of eyeballs.

After Halloween, Rhea revealed to Remus about the change in her patronus and her realization of her feelings for him.

You do know that there are a few things like hormonal things and such? She is a teenager, feelings sometimes just go through the roof. I believe that this is actually studied in psychology, something about how teachers and celebrities have a certain way of interacting with their students/the public or what they stand for, that just might lead to a crush. I didn't particularly read up on that, but as far as I know, this is a thing that exists

Remus was conflicted about it at first

YEAH OF COURSE! YOU ARE LIKE DOUBLE HER AGE!!!

before deciding to embrace Rhea and tell her that he had developed a love for her too.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. How even. I still know that Tonks is like 10 years younger than him, and he literally told her he couldn't live with a relationship with her because he is a werewolf. Wait... what even is Remus relationship with Tonks in this universe? Does she even exist?

During winter break, Rhea stayed at Hogwarts with Remus and their relationship only grew more romantic.

Oh god what do you mean by that. More romantic. HOW MUCH MORE ROMANTIC. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

The Ravenclaw had even made a custom suit for her professor,

I mean, that would be rather sweet. If there wasn't the context. And it didn't count as bribing your teacher.

and the two shared their first kiss on the night of Christmas Eve.

...

Ok, I don't mean this as an insult, but I legitimately had to close my laptop and do something else for a while after reading this. I won't shame you for writing/liking their ship, but I myself am just pretty grossed out by things like this, and I can't not say that this is how I feel about it. In reallife, I would be even more concerned about their relationship. The only spark of hope I see here is that neither of them are real, but no. just no. I hope you understand, I just am not a big fan of this

Rhea and Remus' relationship slowly drifted away a bit after classes started again.

I mean yeah, if anyone has even like half a braincell they would question why a teacher is so frigging close to a student all the time.

Remus' strong self-doubt and anxiety made him feel undeserving of Rhea.

I mean at least you still have a few of his own characteristics.

This led to him telling her that he was a werewolf before she reassured him that she'll love him no matter what.

"I can fix him!" No you can't. Literally. He dies. You too if you're unlucky. (Ok that sounded harsh, the battle of Hogwarts demanded too much blood already.)

After Remus resigned and left Hogwarts, Rhea wrote letters to Remus, wishing him well and reminding him of how much she loved him. The werewolf had always written her back as well as sent her gifts in the mail like sewing supplies, fabric, and anything he thought would appeal to her.

That would be so sweet, but just hE IS THIRTY.

However, the man had grown weary whenever there was a sudden stop in Rhea's letters.

That's literally me when I don't hear from my online friends in a while (I hope you write again soon, you know who you are (if you're even reading this lol))

His anxiety and doubts were in his mind again, thinking that Rhea had perhaps lost interest in the older man.

This would be a legitimate thing that could happen you old fuck. I know you're a good guy, and you literally would look so much better if you were with somebody else of your age. Sirius maybe. Have you seen their ship? Looks weird at first, but it really isn't bad in my opinion

Remus, with the encouragement of Sirius,

Excuse me with the WHAT? The only guy who has half a braincell encourages him? Wow.

sent Rhea a letter along with a box of chocolates to ask if she was okay and if she was still interested in him. In a letter she sent back, she wrote to Remus that she was hit by the Conjunctivitis Curse by Barty Crouch Jr. while he was stealing ingredients for the Polyjuice potion that disguised him as Alastor Moody.

Then this must have happened at the end of the school year, because earlier no one knew it was Crouch.

The attack had left her bedridden and depressed, but the arrival of Remus' letter gave her the motivation to get up just to write to him again.

I mean, that actually makes sense, and that's good. Fight against the darkness, if you can, and if you can't, try reaching out to others, they might be able to keep it from swallowing you because they pull you back up.

Afterward, they start exchanging letters more and more, Remus' letters always coming with a box of chocolates.

In theory, very sweet. (He's still double her age and in the films he literally could be her father.)

In 1995, she and Remus reunited with each other when Hermione visited the Weasleys in Grimmauld Place,

Going by your words, Hermione went there to see the Weasleys. No one else came with her. Period.

him especially requesting for her to visit. During this, Remus reassures Rhea of her beauty and worth as he compliments and caresses her face.

This send shivers down my spine, and I think I might vomit.

No, good news, false alarm.

He helps Rhea navigate and move around, using it as an excuse to be closer to her without suspicion from the other Order members.

Creep.

EDUCATION

SHE IS AT HOGWARTS, ARE THERE OTHER THINGS OF IMPORTANCE BESIDE THAT WHICH I'M OVERLOOKING?

House: Ravenclaw

Ok (I'm Hufflepuff by the way)

Best Core Classes: Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts

Who would have thunketh.

are the two classes Rhea is most enthusiastic about due to their practicality. In her later years at Hogwarts, she even occasionally assists Severus Snape, such as sorting the potion's cabinet and retrieving ingredients.

Wow, he really must like her. She isn't even a Slytherin.

Worst Core Class: Transfiguration as Rhea had difficulty getting behind the subject in the first place and also with the more scientific aspect of it. She much preferred Charms instead.

I like how much work you did for those small things

Electives: Care of Magical Creatures and Divination

Extra-Curricular: Ghoul Studies

Like really! It's good! Detailed background is always welcome here!

So, we're through, finally.

First I have to say: I'm definitely one of the people who this story was explicitly stated not to be written for. This most definitely falls under Pedophilia, and in my opinion, this is never okay, not in stories, especially not in reallife. It just grosses me out, thinking about a dude who is twice as old as his... acquaintance and definitely possesses more power. So basically, no thank you.

Lupin is a good dude, no questions asked, he probably would be one of my favourite teachers as well, but he would never be much more than that. A nice teacher. If I had to work with him outside of school where he isn't my teacher anymore, then I could say he'd be a friendly acquaintance, but that's it.

If we leave the romance aspect out of the equation, she is a really good character! She has likes, very specific likes and dislikes, you have her lessons planned out ffs. This is great detail, even if you might never need it! I love it! There could be a little more, for example I saw no Backstory for her, and she could use a few friends that aren't the main cast (best use some other OCs, it makes the world more alive than anything)

But despite all my complaints, she is a pretty solid character. With a few revisited things that I all explained above, like the thing with the Oculus potion, and a little polishing here and there, she is a pretty good protagonist!
I'd give her 7 drops of Oculus Potion out of 1975 Werewolf-infested, heart-shaped moons.

For the drawing I actually have nothing to say, because @tambourhemus has a really pretty drawing of her in their own OC book, it's the third chapter if I'm not mistaken. So go there and leave some love, I don't want to keep their work in the shadows.

If you want me to draw her nonetheless, just let me know! (it might take a while, I have artblock at the moment and it makes the process of drawing OCs much harder than it needs to be... -_-)

So, me from the future here, and as requested, here is her drawing! Of course the design is rather basic, but this is because she is wearing the standard uniform of Ravenclaw. I added the lace you said she had sewn to her skirt, and despite the fact that this is rather small, it looks surprisingly much like lace. As in the Hogwarts uniform there isn't a specific shoe you have to wear (I believe they just have to be black and  look tidy), I chose some based on the shoes women in the 1920s wore to dance (I have no idea wether that's the case, just most of the pictures I found featured these or similar shoes). I included the butterfly hairpin, because why wouldn't I, it's a wonderful detail. This is before her fifth year, but I wasn't in the mood for drawing eyes, so I just had them closed and had her vibe to music (she's dancing charleston, which was famous, of course, in the 20s).

And yeah, that basically is it, the biggest difficulties were her right hand (because hands never can be easy), and how a long coat like this would move if worn when dancing. I had to improvise, and it probably lacks a bit of the movement and dynamics a dance like charleston should have, but oh well. I think it isn't that bad, and yea, that's it for the most part.

I'd love to hear your commentary on her picture, so feel free to, well, leave a comment! :D

I hope to welcome you back next time!

See you soon!

And here, have a biscuit 🍪 :D

(I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment and vote, maybe even share with your friends, so that this book hopefully gets seen by more people that help me advancing this :] )