(I might've already done this but it's fine)

Robin : *wakes up*

Robin : looks like another day of sucking cocks

-

Delphine being salty about not having a girlf : I wish I could destroy all the vaginas

-

Olympia : where's my butler?

-

Roxie @ any of her immediate family members -Nathan and Johnny : I swear to god the next time I talk to you will be on Dr.Phil

-

Maxxie : I'm gonna get your fucking grandma-

-

Danny : melanoma? mela-no-ma'am

-

Mae : I think I like black music

-

Paige : flowers are forever

-

Danny : I just hope all the kids die

-

Nathan, sleep deprived at 6am : I need a broccoli in my ass

-

Clover, calling Mae : hey you wanna Netflix and pills?

Mae :

Mae : yeah sure why not

-

Danny : *sees Brendon*

Danny : oh look a cunt

-

Cheryl, after dismembering someone : who left their fist here?

-

Selena : who wants pickles?

-

Roxie : I'm gonna start a rumor about EJ

-

Danny : I'm gonna start a rumor about those kids

-

Roxie : I'm gonna start a rumor about myself

Roxie, on the phone with Cecilia : yes, did you hear, I got some kind of disease

Roxie : I don't know it's just what I heard

-

Annika : here take some makeup and vodka for the road

-

Daniel Willows : hi fuck off, Eddie, I heard nobodies going to your birthday blowout

Daniel, on the phone with Clarissa : what do you mean everyone's going to his birthday blowout? of course I was invited!

Daniel : Eddie always hurts my feelings

-

Danny : I can always smell when babies are near

-

Selena : shshshshsh

Selena : have a pickle

Selena : you want a cupcake?

Selena : you want some balls in a ball?

-

Maxxie, who just parked in the handicap space : I can park here because I'm gay and I'm very, very, very r*tarded

-

Nova, laying in a coffin : hi I'm just practicing

-

Robin : eat shit Martha

Robin : the whole block knows your kids fuck each other

-

Noelle : more coke please

-

Emilia talking to Lucie : I went through your emails and read all your lies

-

Astrid, Olympia, Roxie and Delphine : I'm sure you've heard of me, I'm gay

-

Roxie : I AM IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING

-

Robin : whatever bitch play with my hole

-

Roxie, talking to Robin : I need you to call me on my secret phone for secrets

-

Laura : I said that's it

Laura : I'm getting asshole surgery

-

the people living on the Lewis' street : we got these...New Jersey neighbors now

(yes, they claimed to be from New Jersey)

-

Laura : I will sit on you

-

Danny : *sniffing*

Danny : *pulls baby out of a trash-can*

Danny : I knew I smelt a baby

-

Selena : if you're not gonna eat my gorgonzola dippers

Selena, on the verge of tears : then you're not eating my ass!

-

Mae, on the phone with Kate : 0:

Mae : Brendan's dead

Mae : I understand he's your cousin but I'd like to see that bitch uninvite me to his fucking funeral

Mae : and I'm gonna bring the best goddamn casserole!