-Guns n Roses, Welcome to the Jungle -

https://open.spotify.com/track/0eFvoRSTTaR2q8bSWVjwfp

- April 18th -

We were ready to go on stage at Rock Central.
A fresh batch of flyers were placed on the bar.
Courtesy of Freddy's camera, we had gotten a few photos done and I had selected a low angle shot of the three guys standing with their arms crossed and me crouched down in a low spiderman looking pose in front of them.
It had felt extremely weird to get into the pose, but the photo looked pretty good. Freddy had told me to look cat-like and I had failed miserably, looking more like a burglar than a cat. The boys were trying to look tough, but Oddball was cracking bad jokes about my ass being pointed in his direction so all three of them looked on the verge of laughter in the photo.
Friday, Simon and I had spent our free studio time on designing and copying the flyer. One version was CD-cover size and was fitted to the ten demos Oddball had made. And a big stack of flyers with our contact info had been copied to leave behind.
On the reverse of the flyer were four individual portraits of us. Freddy had directed us to stay face front but lift our eyes only in a direction, which meant that when I had put them together it looked like we were all looking at a spot in the middle. On each portrait, we had our names, what we did in the band and what we were studying.
For Ethan we had mentioned his shortlisting in the recent scolarship clntest and listed the instruments he mastered.
He was none too happy about that, but as Simon had insisted on listing me as a portrait artist and Oddball as a sound designer, he saw how it completed the flyer.

We were ready to rock their socks off.

The band we were supporting were a rather run down gang who were struggling to keep going after a semi successful album five years earlier. They were called Catnip and by the look of the drummer and guitarist, had been sampling some herbal remedies earlier in the day.
Their music matched their bandname.
Screechy heavy metal.
Even Oddball cringed during their soundcheck.

"Compared to them, we're Pearl Jam!" Simon muttered as we were sat at the bar waiting for our soundcheck.

"Tell me about it... Why do you think I booked you guys for tonight?" the manager grinned from behind the bar.

Catnip's tour manager was sat at the other end of the bar applauding like an idiot when they finished a test of their greatest hit.

I sighed in relief at the knowledge that we were too young to stay on as audience after our set. I wasn't sure if I could handle two hours of whatever it was they were doing.

With surprise, I noticed a small thumbs up between the manager and the guy in the soundbooth as we walked on.
Oddball went up to the edge of the stage.

"Hey. Could you vary the mix for each song if I give you a list?" He asked.

"Yeah," the soundguy replied.

"Sweet," Oddball said and jogged over to hand him a list of our songs and what he thought would be the best setup for each.
They had a short discussion before Odd looked at us.

"Hey. Could you do 'Welcome to the Jungle'? We need to test something," he asked me.

I nodded and picked up the maracas as Ethan picked up the guitar. I had a fair idea of what Oddball was after so I stepped up to the microphone with my sweetest, most innocent, smile towards the soundguy.

"You're in the jungle, baby!" I screamed into the microphone at top volume.
Either side of me, Simon and Ethan cracked up in laughter before they launched into the tune giving me a solid four bar intro before I started singing. Over by the soundbooth Oddball was grinning and the sound guy was shaking his head in laughter.
Oddball signalled a cut and we stopped playing.

"Okay... We need to test our originals. We've only done them once before out of the band room and the mix was a bit rough," Oddball grinned as he returned to the drumkit.

Looking at the three happy guys I shared a stage with, I felt lucky to be part of this amazing team. They each made my life so much better.

Once soundcheck was over I casually sat down next to Oddball.

"So. You got anybody in the audience?" I asked.

"Nope. Not tonight," he said.

"Not even ...classmates?" I asked with a playful nudge.

He laughed softly next to me.

"Subtle, Izzy... but no... too young," he said with a shrug.

"But you have mentioned the awsome band playing this amazing gig, right?" I asked.

He looked at me with a look of worry and amusement mixed.

"I did kinda mention it to the whole group in a break, but it's a case of being invisible," he muttered.

"Oddball? Invisible? I refuse to believe that," I giggled.

"It's not that easy... It's not like I look like a posterboy for pink and purple is it?" He grinned back.

"It's a sound course, right? Drop a music related hint. Ta-daaa... Cat. Bag. Gone," I said.

"No! I'm not gonna suddenly start listening to Celine Dion, am I?" He huffed.

"No, but you could wear your Judas Priest t-shirt and say something about the lyrics of 'Raw Deal'," I shrugged.

He laughed out loud.

"Sometimes you are a fucking genius!" He grinned.

"Thank you. At last someone appreciates my brain more than my ass!" I laughed.

"But you do have a fine ass," Oddball grinned.

"Why, thank you," I replied with an overly formal, polite nod.

"Just don't wiggle it too much or both our straight guys are gonna mess the gig up," he whispered.

"How about if I wiggle a little bit and listen for stumbles?" I whispered back, remembering Ellen's suggestion.

"I think that might be worth a try," Oddball laughed.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You could just talk to him you know," Oddball said and stood up to grab Simon for a last minute run through of something rhythm related.

Across the stage, on an ampbox, sat Ethan. Oblivious to my thundering heart. Oddball's suggestion was playing on my skin like fire.

Audience was trickling in as we were getting ready for our actual set. We had set up our gear when I saw a few familiar faces. Both of Ethan's brothers were there. And over in a dark corner I spotted my mum and Josh with Sarah and Mark. They were pretending to be casual rock fans but the compact camera in Sara's hand and Marks button down shirt did kinda make them stand out. At least Josh looked like he could fit in untill I saw he was wearing a Ramones t-shirt.
The ultimate badge of commercial sell-out. No true Ramones fan would be caught dead in a shirt like that.
Simon looked at them and shook his head in embarassment. I, at least had the common sense to wave, but regretted it the moment my mum waved back and Sarah gave a thumbs up.

The guy from the music shop was in front of the stage at the end where Ethan was crouched over a guitar case, holding the blue Ibanez in his hand.

"... she plays beautifully. I mean... there's no weight," Ethan was enthusing.

There was a glow to him when he talked about music and instruments. The usual pre gig nerves seemed to have calmed as he went into complete geek-mode about the technical aspects of the guitar.
Trying not to stare, I allowed myself to glance at him for a moment and he looked up at me with a smile from the other end of the stage.
The music shop guy looked at me too.

"You should let her play it. That would look pretty damned hot," he said with an appraising look at my tight jeans and boots.

Ethan pursed his lips. He looked at me with a playful smile.

"The thought has crossed my mind," he grinned.

A weirdly flattered feeling washed over me. I looked at him again to see a small apologetic smile that had a slightly cocky edge to it.
The music shop guy walked over to his bunch of burly biker-looking friends and pointed towards Ethan, presumably boasting about selling him the guitar.

"...more than once," I heard Ethan say on a whisper as he walked behind me across the stage.
My head whipped around to look after him, but all I caught was a wry smile as he shook a couple of guitar picks out of a pack and stuffed them into his pocket.
I had, of course, by this time completely forgotten why I was stood in the middle of the stage, and made a move to get a bottle of water from the bar instead.
Before I got that far I was interrupted by a grinning face and a pair of golden brown eyes with grey speckles.

"Hey, Mio," I said, but he didn't get a chance to say anything before Ethan turned up.

"Hey, bro. You ready to be convinced?" Ethan asked.

"Nah. Sean made me come. But I must admit... there are benefits," Mio grinned and looked me up and down.

"Mio!" Sean warned from over by the bar.

"So, Izzy... Had any interesting conversations with Selma lately?" Mio grinned.

My eyes widened in fear of what Selma might have said.

"We need those drinks," Ethan muttered and dragged me to the bar.

I snuck a few looks at him as he leaned over towards the bartender to ask for our cans and bottles.
He turned to look at me with a mysterious little twisted smile.

"Ignore Mio. Okay?" He said flatly.

"Why?" I asked thinking it might be about time to figure out where we stood once and for all. I could not just let that comment on the stage slide.

"Because Selma seems to have got it into her head that there is something going on with you and me. I keep telling her we're friends and bandmates..." he mumbled.

I frowned, slightly confused.

"What exactly has she said?" I asked, feeling my ears thunder with my own pulse.

I was frightened, exited and nervous all at once.
Ethan turned his grey eyes on me with a shy, little smile.

"She's a bit hung up on how we hug and... connect. But you hug both Oddball and Simon more than you hug me, so I think she might be reading too much into it," he shrugged with a lopsided frown.

For a second I was tempted to tell him exactly why he was the least hugged.
How I with every hug felt a withdrawal.
That every time I touched him, electric currents would run down my spine in rivulets.
But our drinks were handed over and before I knew it I was holding eight cans of coke and was following my beating heart up to the stage.

We did a little band-huddle, pep talk thing before kicking off the best show to date.

"Okay. We kick this thing off with 'Welcome to the Jungle' and give them hell!" Oddball grinned.

I nodded and looked over at Ethan's pale pre-gig face.
Our eyes met and he just nodded briefly.

"Let's do this," He said with a shrug.

The huddle dissolved. I held on to Ethan's fingertips just that fraction longer than I had to and felt his fingers move on mine.
There was a little smile on his face as he let go.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I'll just focus on you, right?" He replied, repeating my usual line to him.

I nodded, wondering if him focusing on me was going to mess with my own focus.

We found our places and let the music take over.
Everything fell into place.
Every tune felt right.
We were communicating with looks and small gestures, making small adjustments on the fly.
It was the perfect gig!
Even when a string on the Gibson I was playing broke, we hardly broke a stride.
Ethan simply walked up, took the Gibson and handed me the blue Ibanez he was playing. He swapped the wires before picking up his spare one from backstage. I mouthed a quick 'you sure' and received an approving nod back. It was all done, quick and smooth as if we had rehearsed it.
The guy from the music shop was suddenly wolf-whistling and I took a deep breath, trying to understand the implications of a simple blue guitar.

"Edge of Seventeen? If the guitars are in order?" Simon asked.

I looked at Odd and Ethan with a nod and prepared to kick up my sultry rock goddes persona a notch.

Tapping into the same good chemistry as we had at the bandstand before christmas, we did an amazing show. The audience was there with us. We even had some singing along to the chorus of a couple of our originals that had never been done live before. I realised that those few were our own family members and the Rock Central manager, who had heard the songs before, but it was enough to make us feel the first flame of success.

- April 20th -

The week after was fairly uneventful. I was planning my birthday party. Not that it required a lot of planning. Just a pile of pizzas. My mum had agreed to spend the weekend at Josh's house on the condition that the house was spotless on her return.
No problem.
I could handle that.
There was also a huge amount of neglected coursework with a deadline on Thursday, which meant no band practice early in the week.
I still met up with the guys at lunch and Simon was in my class so band stuff was still up there.

I was laying on my front in the spring sunshine at lunchtime on Monday when a big drummer sat down on my legs. Two seconds later a grey eyed guitarist was laying in front of me, stealing radishes out of my salad and reading my book upside down.

"I hope you've washed your hands," I said dryly indicating his fingers in my food.

"You worried about getting my germs, Izzy?" He asked with a smirk.

"No. Should I?" I replied with a bold stare straight at him.

He laughed softly and leaned close enough for his hair to brush against my nose as he was trying to read my book. I allowed myself to feel the heat of him as his face lifted with next to no distance from mine. His cheek almost rubbing on mine, just close enough to know he hadn't shaved that morning, and for long enough for me to catch a breath of his clean scent.
For a short moment our foreheads and noses were almost touching. A split second I considered tilting my chin those tantalising few millimetres towards him.

"Why are you reading Pride and Prejudice?" He asked, drawing back to conversational distance, breaking my little fantasy moment.

"It's cute and it's funny," I shrugged.

"Like me!" He grinned playfully with an unusual confidence.

"Yeah..." I laughed.

The truth of it was pulsing in my fingertips and tickling the edges of my lips.

There was a weird look of humor in his eyes as he widened his smile. His eyes flickered back to the book and up again as a blond bassist lay down to join our little conversation. I suddenly realised that Oddball was still sitting on my legs with his lunchtray rested on my ass.

"This is looking cozy. What are we doing?" Simon asked.

"Reading Pride and Prejudice," Ethan replied in a bored voice.
As if that was what we did every day.

"Upside down?" Simon asked.

"Yeah. Makes more sense that way," Ethan said.

"Heeeyy!" I protested.

"It does! I mean that way you start with Mr. Darcy being a good guy instead of a grumpy ass," he grinned.

"What if I don't want him to end up as a grumpy ass? What if I want the charming, modest, shy Mr. Darcy who doesn't know how to tell Elizabeth he wants her?" I asked.

"But does Elizabeth want Mr. Darcy?" Ethan asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She does once he stops being a grumpy ass," I replied.

"But she doesn't actually want him until she realises how rich he is, does she?" Ethan argued.

"Wrong! She falls for him when she sees him with his sister and realises how important family is to him," I argued back.

"And what he's willing to do for hers," Ethan smiled.

"Finally! A guy who gets it!" I cheered.

"So you want a Mr. Darcy in your life?" Simon asked, again bringing me out of my little Ethan-bubble.
I had completely forgotten he was there.

I looked at Simon, then back at Ethan before I wiggled my bum a bit, almost spilling Oddball's drink.
My eyes wandered back to Ethan's for a second before I looked directly into Simon's blue.

"What do I need a Mr. Darcy for when I have the three of you?" I asked.

- April 23rd -

Vero spent the week before my birthday nagging me to invite hot guys. I wasn't aware of my endless supply of guys untill she sat down next to me on Thursday.

"Izzy! You're in the band! There are three hot guys in the band and you talk to other guys about the band! I just need one," she begged.

"I'm not a pimp," I replied.

"But... There has to be someone you can invite?" She wheedled.

"There are the band guys, Ellen, the class and Ethan's sister. More than enough people for a comfortable party," I told her.

I had to go to the library after lectures and was hurrying down to the band room when I heard Simon and Ethan yelling at each other.

"Just let me ask her!" Ethan said.

"It's not gonna fucking happen!" Simon was hissing.

"Why the hell not?" Ethan growled back.

"Because I won't let it!" Simon warned.

I opened the door to see them in a furious battle of wills.

"What's happening?" I asked as I stopped next to Oddball.

"Oh... just some guy-code issues," Oddball said casually before registering that I was there.

"Heyyy... Izzy is here," he said loud enough to stop the other two.

"Guy-code? Is Simon trying to hook up with Selma or something?" I asked with a suspicious squint at Simon's scrunched up face.

Oddballs face cracked up into a big grin.

"Something like that," he confirmed.

I shrugged and left them and their testosterone to it.

"Actually... that might not be such a bad idea," Oddball laughed quietly.

Ethan stared at Simon with a sudden vicious look.

"You'd better stay away from my sister," He hissed.

"Only if you stay away from mine!" Simon replied dryly.

I shook my head with an exasperated sigh. Simon in an argument made as much sense as giving a stormtrooper a lightsaber.