It had been three times since Rema had tried to reach Hoseok that night by calling him several times. She hadn't seen him for two days and didn't want Hoseok to blame her for not calling him often so when she saw that he didn't answer, she went to get ready to sleep. She tried not to worry too much about recent events. She didn't want to seem like the overly jealous and traumatized girlfriend because her boyfriend cheated on her. She wanted to show him that she trusted him and that she had moved on.

But the truth is, she hadn’t.

After rubbing a body lotion on her pale skin and putting on an outfit to go to bed she closed her eyes to force herself to sink but images of Hoseok confessing to him that he had cheated on her on their anniversary evening came back to her in mind. Of course she hadn't moved on, the idea that he could cheat on her made her question herself.

Coming home the night of Hoseok's revelation, she sat on her bed with her head in her hands. She had been crying for this fucking bastard. How could he do this to her?

Rema went to her bathroom to remove her makeup and wash her face. While staring at herself in the mirror, she noticed that her cheeks had lost volume. Her pale skin and dry lips made her horrifically realized in how similar she was to a zombie.

Maybe that was the problem. When Hoseok met her, her cheeks were full, her skin and expression glowed. Rema had never been fat, she wasn’t really skinny either. She was average. Well, that wasn’t the case anymore. With her part-time job as a waitress, her work-study training and her studies, she hadn't been eating three meals a day for a while.

She had to hang on that is why her coffee consumption had increased drastically which made her more stressed. She unfortunately rejected this stress on Hoseok who was doing his best so that during her free time she correctly recharged her batteries, but even if he was understanding for a moment, Rema's behavior was less and less bearable. She knew it and said she was going to make an effort.

Her first idea upon knowing about Hoseok's infidelity was to dump him on the spot after spitting out a few insults at him. But it all got mixed up in her head. For the past few months she hadn't been a good girlfriend for him. She was always tired and often needed calm, which was not really the kind of Hoseok who was quite noisy and chatty. She was too before, but her new professional responsibilities had greatly reduced these character traits.

She was changing, Hoseok didn’t like this, he seemed to get tired of the one who looked less and less like the girl he loved and with whom he was in love with.

Rema was aware of it. She promised to make an effort, but Hoseok saw no difference. They were still often arguing and everything was getting worse.

But everything was going to be alright.

She promised herself. And destiny was perhaps sending him a sign to tell him that his luck was there. Show her that she had finally managed to tame her angry and impatient character trait that was born from the mass of work that she had all the time.

Forgive.

Proud in nature, it is clear that her ego had taken a hit. She had always been told that she was a gift from heaven because she was beautiful AND smart. The day she met Hoseok's parents they noticed that her. Rema had a bright future, that was for sure, and Hoseok’s mother had joked that she would have the most beautiful grand children in the world. Knowing that she had been deceived while she was doing her best to make their common future possible by having left her ton of daily work and which was going to jeopardize her professional credibility, she could really have started hitting him.

But she still loved him. The little attention he had when booking a five star hotel for two nights and a cinema was proof that it could still work if she swallowed her pride for once.

Even hugging Hoseok the day she told him that she forgave him she could not resign herself to forgetting his gesture. She didn't think about the reason because she knew it was only out of sheer revenge and bitterness towards her right now, but she rather wondered with whom. She had done her best to forget and she couldn't.

Trying to change position on her bed so she could fall asleep, she heard noise in her living room.
She first thought of a burglar, but it was ridiculous because apart from her friends, the studio owner, Hoseok and herself, no one knew her PIN to enter her home. She got up and left for the living room before turning on the light and discovering Hoseok leaning on the sofa to stand up.

— Hoseok?
— Oh sorry love .. you were sleeping?

Love. The way he said it seemed different. Surely he hadn't called her like that since she had forgiven him.

— You’re drunk?
— No .. well, just had a few drinks with the guys, but I’m okay, don't worry.
— Oh.. ok, come with me, you're going to sleep with me tonight, okay? She said to him taking his hand and putting her arm around his waist.
— Wait, wait, wait, I want to try something before ..
— Yes right, lean on me or you're going to fall.

Apparently she was mistaken because he had firmly grabbed her wrist to place her in front of him and grab her face with his hands.

— Hoseok! what are you doing? Let go of me you're hurting me! She said trying to push him by the chest.
— You are so... Beautiful.
— Your breath reek alcohol let-hmmm!

He had put his lips on hers and they moved until Rema's back hit the wall. She was out of breath and didn't understand what he was doing. He deepens their kiss, having already found Rema’s tongue but she could tell there was a problem, other than his drunkenness and the smell of alcohol. He slid his hands over her hips, sticking her closer to him, as if he wasn't already close enough to her, as if he was looking for something, but what?
He took off from her with his eyes closed, breathless.

— What's wrong with you tonight?
— Yoongi was wrong.
— What about Yoongi? what are you saying?
— Nothing, nothingness Rema. Rema I ..., he said, trembling.

She saw that he had tears in his eyes when he went to her room and took off his top to lie on her bed.

She hadn't asked him more about what had happened that night.

But now she knew it had to do with their breakup. Their rupture had taken place after the two days which had followed. It was about the last day she had spent without spending the whole day crying. The last time she fell so low was when her stepfather lost his life. She was more sad than her mother, who had mourned more calmly than she did.

She had promised herself and her mother that she would never put herself in such a state again. She would be disappointed in her daughter now. If she had learned that she was crying all the tears in her body for Hoseok in addition to knowing how she treated him badly before he cheated on her.

Nine months to mop up, and three months when she started to feel better. She quit from her waitress job to take more time for her and was starting to see a therapist. She rarely spoke to her therapist about Hoseok because she wanted to convince herself that she had already turned the page.

Nine months of wailing was a long time. She had to stop whining and move on. She had voluntarily withdrawn from social media to avoid looking at what Hoseok was doing in his life. During the first months she spent her days doing that. Spying on him, calling him, harassing him .. And he had never had the courage to block her, because despite everything they had a story and he had to respect it and she knew it.

The last message he sent her made her realize that she, one day, had gone too far. That day she broke into his home after emptying the entire bottle of vodka that she had in her kitchen cupboard.

It was a gift from her employer. She did a good job in the company where she was doing her internship and despite the fact that she made it clear to everyone she knew that she hated drinking alcohol because that's why her stepfather was dead, her boss insisted on giving her this gift.

— Rema? Shit, s-shit! What are you doing here? said Hoseok, who had just come out of sleep.

She stared at him with an empty look, standing in the middle of his living room, before passing out dead drunk in his arms. He had just caught up with her while running towards her, seeing that she was weakening before sighing in relief.

— You changed your haircut. I like it, she said smiling and raising her hand to his head.

He let out a curse before lifting her up and placing her on the couch.

— I'm calling you a cab home.
— No .. Hoseok, I want to sleep here ... Like we used to do.
— Stop it Rema.
— Did you like that? When we slept together, I was in your arms ... Before .. But, you were the one who used to be drunk... the roles are reversed now. Funny, she said before laughing.

Hoseok sighed. What was taking her suddenly? He knew that she had taken the break up badly but he knew her as a fighter and he even thought that she would quickly find another boyfriend and that she would go up the slope faster than him. But obviously she was not well.

The shame that invaded her the next morning when she woke up the next morning was immense. Her first reflex was to look at her phone and it was already noon. Fortunately it was the weekend, and she had nothing planned.

She also received a message from Hoseok who wanted to find out if she was okay. She answered him that yes by thanking him and before putting down her phone he sent her a message which had made her understand that this time was just too much.

"I didn't want to be too hard on you out of respect for you and the relationship we had. But it cannot continue. It's over, Rema. I don't love you anymore, I tried to start loving you again, I tried to make it work, as much as you do now, but you're going to have to resign yourself to it. You should really move on. ”

And she had a hard time swallowing this message. She had spent seven months moping. Seven months to spy on Hoseok’s gesture in social media. But there was no sign of a new girlfriend or anything. He was just having fun with his friends and he was more fulfilled ... Without her. And it felt like a dagger in his heart.

The next three months she had decided to stop looking at social media. And that's where she started to get better. She was starting to go out again, to be efficiently productive in her work, to be more flirtatious, to hang out with boys but without going too far either until that day. She was talking with one of her good friends while they were sharing a pizza in a restaurant.

— You’re shining bright beautiful.
— Thanks, changing my hair color was the best decision I could make, black seemed too banal to me, she replied, blushing a little.
— Yes, that looks fine with you. I'm really glad you are doing better. I knew Dr. Lee was made for you.

Talking to a therapist didn't really help her. When you lie to your therapist the results are inconclusive. She had even lied to her friends about the origin of her unhappiness by telling them that work tired her. But the fact that she moved away from networks had really helped her to evolve and seemed to be the most effective solution.

— Oh but I had something to tell you! I saw Hoseok the other day with a girl.

Rema looked up at her friend Yina and stopped chewing.

— Really? She said raising an eyebrow.
— Yep. I was shopping, and I saw him pushing a cart with a girl inside. I swear, they were like kids. He was screaming "Hyejin, get off this cart please", and they were laughing so loud the whole store heard them. Embarrassing, she said, rolling her eyes.

The inner peace that Rema had worked for so far was dashed. A feeling had taken hold of her whole being and now only saw red. Jealousy.
Tonight she knew she was going to break the social network cure that she had started three months ago, the door that Yina unconsciously came to open in her mind was going to make Rema sink into the torment of jealousy and anger.

Rema had already mentally noted the first important information. The name of this girl. Hyejin.

Hyejin.