October 1997

Jane walked down the leaf-littered Central Park pathway, hand in hand with Adam, biting the inside of her cheek to hold back the tears. She knew what was coming. She thought she had prepared herself for it, but the sadness now was almost unbearable.

“I have this thing on Sunday,” he’d said a few days ago. “My cousin Jeffrey’s getting married. It’s going to be hopelessly lame.”

It had been a big affair, filling the reception hall at one of the largest synagogues on the Upper West Side. He’d been the life of the party, of course. She was getting used to that by now. Everywhere she went with him, there were always women buzzing around, attracted to him like moths to a flame. The waitress at the diner resting a hand on his shoulder as she refilled his cup of coffee… The pretty blonde sharing a pole with him on the subway ride uptown… They didn’t even seem to notice her presence.

It had been the same at the wedding. From the moment they’d walked into the room, he’d been seemingly surrounded by every female in attendance. It was almost awe-inspiring, watching the skill with which he managed to juggle conversations with all of them, making each one feel like she was the most special person there – every single one, from the gangly 12 year olds to the wheelchair-bound octogenarians.

Not that he’d been a neglectful date, of course. No, he’d danced with her all afternoon, whirling and spinning her through the fast songs, pulling her close for the slow ones. He liked to lead, and she didn’t mind following. She would follow him anywhere. She would follow him right over a cliff.

Now the party was over, though, and she knew what was coming next. Marcy had explained it all to her last night.

“Ohhhh!” Marcy had said when she heard about the wedding. “Now it all makes sense.”

“What makes sense?”

“Why a guy like that is hanging out with you. I mean – sorry. No offense. He just seems kinda out of your league, you know?”

Jane couldn’t really argue with that. “So why is he?”

“Isn’t it obvious? He needed a wedding date! He probably wanted a nice college girl to make him look good in front of his family. He’s been buttering you up for the past two weeks so you’d go with him.”

Jane had nodded and rolled her eyes, pretending not to care. “What a tool,” she’d laughed.

“Yeah, my guess is you go to the wedding and then you never hear a word from him again.”

Jane had expected him to make some excuse after the reception and send her on her way, but he’d suggested they go for a stroll through the park instead, throwing his suit jacket over her shoulders when she’d shivered in the brisk October air.

He was going to let her down easy, she supposed. It was classier than pulling a disappearing act. Now he was just strolling silently, though, smiling a little as he looked up at the brightly colored fall foliage. They passed a sign that said “Strawberry Fields,” and he pulled her to a stop as they drifted up to a large tile mosaic inset in the pavement – a round medallion with the word “IMAGINE” in the center.

She looked up at him expectantly, bracing for impact. Adam just sighed and said softly, “This is the memorial to John Lennon. He was shot right over there.” She followed his gaze as he pointed out the park entrance toward an apartment building across the street.

“How long is he going to drag this out?” Jane wondered to herself. She was determined not to cry in front of him. She needed to handle this like a grown up. Why didn’t he just do it already?

Adam’s mind was drifting, thinking of Lennon, singing Beatles’ lyrics inside his head: “Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see—”

“So, thanks for the past couple weeks,” he heard Jane’s voice cut in. “It’s been really fun. No regrets.”

The words hit him like a bucket of ice water dumped over his head. Adam looked down at her in surprise. “No regrets? What does that mean?”

Jane shrugged. “I know, OK? I know. I’m not that stupid.”

He wrinkled his forehead in confusion. “Well, apparently I am that stupid….”

“Whatever, Adam. I know you’ve just been hanging out with me because you needed a nice girl for your wedding date.”

He started laughing, relieved and amused at the same time. “Seriously? That’s what you think?”

“You don’t have to pretend—“

“Do you really think I give a fuck what those people think about who I’m dating? I could’ve just gone alone!”

“Then what are you doing with me?” she asked.

“You need me to spell it out? I am into you, OK? I-N-T-O.”

She shook her head, saying nothing.

“Come here,” he said more gently, leading her over to a bench and sitting down beside her. “Why is that so impossible to believe?”

“Because we were just in a room full of 200 people, and there was not a woman there who didn’t want to be with you!”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “You know I’m related to a lot of them, right?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Listen, I’m not going to lie to you. I think it’s important to be honest with each other.”

She nodded seriously.

“The fact is, there are some people in this world who are magnetic. I don’t know why. They just are. When they walk into a room full of people, everyone turns their head to look. And I’m that way. And you’re not. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.”

“But why me? Out of all the women in New York City you could get to go out with you?”

It was a question Adam had been asking himself a lot those past two weeks. What was it about this girl? She was so naïve and inexperienced. And yet, somehow when he started touching her, it was like she transformed. She had no idea what she was doing, but her body definitely did. He’d been showing her the ropes, and she was just so responsive—

It was more than physical though. She had somehow managed to slip past his usual defenses. He almost never asked a girl to spend the night. It was kind of a rule he had. No matter how hot a girl was, he always just ended up feeling suffocated. Somehow, it had slipped his mind with this one. She’d spent the night, and the next morning, and then the afternoon… and before he knew it, it was Sunday evening and she’d spent the whole weekend. And even then, after 48 continuous hours in her presence, he still hadn’t gotten sick of her – truly an unprecedented occurrence.

He’d made her write her phone number on his arm with a sharpie so he wouldn’t lose it, and he’d kept checking it the next day to make sure it wasn’t rubbing off. By two o’clock that afternoon he couldn’t take it anymore. It was like he was craving her. He couldn’t think about anything else. When was the last time he’d called a girl the next day like that? He was the guy who hooked up with a girl and didn’t call for two months. Not because he didn’t like her – he just got caught up in other things. But Jane he’d seen again the next night, and every night that week. And now here they were, two weeks in, and he knew he was in trouble. Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to pass anytime soon. He’d thought she was about to break it off with him just now, and the momentary panic he’d felt was frightening. He couldn’t make it through a night without this girl, much less the rest of his life. What was happening to him?

He started talking out loud, trying to make sense of it to himself as much as to her.

“How do I explain this?” he began. “It’s like – sometimes I feel like – everyone is always watching me. I’m always putting on a show. Especially with women. I don’t even know how to be with a woman without putting on a little show for her. Everything I say is a line. Everything I do is an act. And somehow, I guess because of the way you and I got together – it was a crisis and everything – somehow I managed to bypass all that bullshit. I was just me, and you were just you. I think that’s why it felt the way it felt. That’s why I can’t seem to get enough of you now. I can’t go two hours without wanting to see you again.”

Her eyes had gone wide with surprise as he spoke. He couldn’t help but smile when she looked at him like that.

“Janie,” he said, taking both of her hands in his. “Please don’t run away from me. I know I’m not exactly a great catch. I’m this college drop-out who’s probably going nowhere fast. I just really want to be with you.”

“Be with me like what? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yes, like boyfriend and girlfriend.”

 “Really?”

“Yes, really. Is that OK with you?”

He didn’t need to wait for her answer, the way she was smiling back at him. He slipped his arms around her and bent his head to hers, tasting her lips in a soft, tender kiss. What was it about this one? This shy little girl with the big eyes and the strawberry-flavored lipstick – out of all the women in New York City, she was the only one he could see.

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