I've long loved Ethan. I have loved him for as far as I can remember. I have imagined my future with him. Ethan means everything for me. He's all the idea of love. In my head and deep in my heart, Ethan is all the things ideal.

"Hindi ka pa ba mauubusan ng tubig sa katawan? Mga isang oras ka ng umiiyak." Oxygen said, letting out a yawn.

I ignored him. Surely, he doesn't have any idea how bad I'm going through. Obviously, Oxygen and his likes have never gone and experienced heartbreak. I doubt if men like him ever loved.

"Kahit ilang oras pa ubusin mo kaka-aksaya ng luha mo, wala namang mag-babago. Kung ano ang nakita mo iyon na 'yon."

Nilingon ko siya, sa pagitan ng aking munting mga hikbi ay pinilit kong makabuo ng tanong. "Ano nga ba yung nakita ko? Are they in a relationship? But what about Romee? Ethan is dating her. That's the rumor spreading across the nation."

Well, that's one thing that confused me. Ethan is always seen with Romee and not Lance. But then, I have never seen a photo of them getting intimate. Never kissing. Just how I saw him with Lance. All the more I hate Lance.

"Ethan isn't a douchebag, is he?"

"Gabbana, I maybe every bad thing but I don't speak ill of other people." He let out a heavy sigh. "Kung anuman ang meron kay Ethan at Lance, o sakanila ni Romee. I don't see it as your business. You're not Ethan's girlfriend, are you?"

Other times, I'll hate Oxygen. But right now, I can't hate him. All that he's doing is nothing but stating a fact. I'm not Ethan's girl, I want to. I would love to be. But I wasn't. I was never and I don't think I'll ever be.

"Kung maka-iyak ka akala mo nahuli mo asawa mo na nambababae e, hirap satin minsan sobra reaksyon natin kesa sa nararapat." Malakas siyang humalakhak, bago iabot sakin ang tissue na nasa ibabaw ng dashboard ng kaniyang sasakyan. "Tigilan mo na 'yan mukha kang tanga, promise."

His hand reached for the rear view mirror and adjusted it a little, enabling me to see myself in there. I wasn't surprise to see how wasted I look like. Goodness, am I really made to look like trash in front of Oxygen De Salvo? Not that I care about what he think of me, but I was never too wasted in the sight of anyone.

"Gulat ka noh? Kala mo ganda mo pa, ah"

"Stop looking at me," irap ko.

That didn't stop him from staring, he even moved his body to face me. Having a full sight of my ugly tonight look.

"I said stop looking at me, Oxygen!" I covered my face with my hands, still trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Bakit? Gusto kong makita, gusto kong tignan" sabi niya bago abutin ang aking palapulsuhan at hilahin iyong pababa.

My defenses weakened hearing the softness in his voice that surprised me. I let him stare at me, there's no use of hiding anymore. He'd seen me crying and he'd seen me worse than I am now.

"Bakit ba ang hilig niyong mga babae umiyak? Ano ba 'yan, nakakatuwa ba 'yan? Magandang hobby ba 'yan? Nakaka-fulfill ba 'yan?"

As expected, he wouldn't understand. Guys like him will never understand things like this. They know nothing about heartbreak because they're the ones who break hearts. I used the tissue he gave me to dried the tears away. I cleared my throat and faced him.

"You wouldn't understand. You were never in love."

"Love ko mama ko, mapanghusga ka." He grinned, I looked at him.

Everything about him is obnoxious. That's the best word to describe him. I wonder if he's ever serious about things, Oxygen seems to be the biggest living joke in planet earth.

"I love Ethan, Oxygen. Not the kind of love you had for your mom, of course. It's the different type and I don't think you'll get me." I started talking my heart out. "Ethan is someone whom I can see myself getting older with."

Last night and this morning, until I saw Ethan kissing Lance and had my heart broken. I was determine not to tell anyone about my real deal with Ethan. But right now, all I want is to let it all out. I feel like dying, keeping this all to myself.

"He's so ideal to me. Ethan seems so perfect. He's larger than life. A prince charming who'd ever lived."

"You speak high of Ethan," he said. "How long have you known my cousin? How deep do you think you've known him?"

My head snapped over him, I frowned. Ethan is his cousin? I don't get it. How? He's a De Salvo. "I-I've known him since forever ago, I've known him deep enough for me to say that I love him."

Oxygen seems to have read my thoughts, he shook his head and grinned. "Pero hindi mo alam na pinsan niya ko?"

Well, I shrugged. Kailangan ba alam ko iyon? All I'm up and about is Ethan and Ethan alone. "Didn't know that I'm required to have gather that information."

Kumibit din ang kaniyang mga balikat. "His dad and my mom are twins."

"Oh," I didn't know that. I didn't know I need to know that. Ang tanging kilala ko lang ay ang mga kamag-anak ni Ethan sa side ni Tita Nisha, I barely know his dad. Aside from the fact that his dad and my dad were bestfriends. I pretended that it wasn't a big deal. "Anyway, hindi mo naman siguro sasabihin sa pinsan mo lahat ng sinabi ko sayo."

Malakas na halakhak ang kaniyang pinakawalan. What I said is childish, I'm sure Oxygen isn't the type of guy who'll spread secrets to everyone. He might be chatty but I don't think he'll do that. Well, if he does then shame on him.

"Anong nakakatawa?" I sneered.

"Ikaw," diretsong sagot niya bago muling ngumisi. "Mahal mo si Ethan, sabi mo. You speak so high of him but you don't actually know him, do you?"

"Not because I didn't know that you're his cousin doesn't mean I don't know him!" Naiinis kong sabi. "Do I really have to memorize the hierarchy of his family tree?"

"Gabbana, you sure know Ethan. I believe you. But all you know about him is what he's allowing everyone to know, it isn't deep enough for you to say that you're in love with him." He said meaningfully.

"Bakit? What else do I need to know about Ethan? You know what, I don't like the way you're judging my love for him." I said, squinting my eyes at him. "You have no right to do that."

"Hindi ko hinuhusgahan 'yang pagmamahal na sinasabi mo. Tinutulungan lang kitang tukuyin 'yang pagmamahal mo. Puro ka kakornihan, tangina."

"Hindi mo na ko kailangan pang tulungan na tukuyin iyon, because I already know. I've known it since long ago. I am in love with Ethan. What's not to love about him? He's genuine, smart, beautiful, gentleman, caring and he's totally all that you're not."

He faked an ouch, laughing. "Oo nga naman, what's not to love about him? All you see is the bright side of the game, Gabgab. And you know, everything got two sides. Even the day owns a morning and night."

"And what do you mean by that?" Is he telling me that Ethan is a bad guy? I thought he don't speak ill of other people, huh?

"Nothing, just knocking up your senses. Mukhang walang gumagawa sayo niyan kaya ka nahibang ng ganyan." Nilingon niya akong sandali bago humarap sa manibela. "Ihahatid na kita sa bahay ng kuya mo."

Doon ko lang naalala si Zander. My eyes flew out of the window of his car.

"Wala na, iniwan ka. Kanina pa dumaan sasakyan niya." He started to drove off.

Nilingon ko si Oxygen, Zander hates the idea of me being with Oxygen. "Zander doesn't like you."

"Hindi ko rin siya gusto. He doesn't have those tits and pussy, I crave for."

"No!" I shook my head, heaving a sigh. "That's not what I mean. This, me being with you..." I even pointed myself and him. "He doesn't like the idea of this. At all!"

"He's a pussy," he chuckled. "Kung ayaw niya, sana hindi ka niya iniwan. Well, Zander acts so pussy-whipped with Romee around."

"He's with Romee?" I frowned.

He didn't answer me more than a shrug. Nakatutok ang atensyon niya sa daan. I don't wanna go home, yet. I don't want Zander to see me like this. I don't want him getting mad at Ethan just because he made me cry. He'll hate him. Ethan doesn't deserve my brother's hatred. He didn't do anything to me, literally, he didn't. Isa pa, I don't wanna worry Zander. Well, if he's with Romee, I don't think he'll ever remember me or that I was with him.

He left me. But I'm not mad at him. I need to be alone for awhile, literally, I wasn't alone because I'm with Oxygen. Still, I don't want Zander to see me this way.

"I don't wanna go home." I said.

"Pake ko?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you bringing a slut in your fuck-flat tonight?"

"Sa tingin mo ba may madadala ako? Nandito ako, kasama ka. Isip isip din, wag kang masyadong tanga."

I ignored his words. I think he's always like that. It's his normal thing. "Then bring me there."

Malisyoso niya akong binalingan ng tingin kasabay ng isang malademonyong pag-ngisi. "Sabi ko na nga ba, Gabgab. Type mo ko. Nag-drama ka pa."

Agad akong pinamulahan ng mukha nang makuha ang nais niyang ipahiwatig. My eyes widened before I defensively shook my head. "Damn you! That's not what I mean! Oxygen I'm lonely and I need an escape-"

"Sorry, hindi ko ipinapagamit ang katawan ko para sa mga nangungulilang puso. Hell, Gabgab, I'm more than that. Hindi ako parausan." Tuloy-tuloy parin siya sakanyang nakakalokong tawa.

"Yuck! Stop it Oxygen you're so gross!" I shrieked but continued laughing. "You're thinking beyond my words. Mr. De Salvo, not everyone is after your body. Eeeeew! With lost of e and a w!"

"Sus, nahiya pa 'to. Wag kang mag-alala sanay na ko, na itong katawan ko lang talaga ang habol sakin."

I grimaced, turning my eyes to the body he's talking about. Alright, he has a nice built. I've seen what's under that shirt he's wearing. But no, I wouldn't give him the joy of knowing that he's bod is hot. No way. "Nothing seems ridiculously drooling with the body you're saying."

"Anong sinabi mo?" He said with a smirk, his eyes were looking straight at the road ahead but I can sense a glint of mischief just by the way it narrowed.

"I won't repeat what I've said, it might bruise your ego bad." I grinned, leaning my back on the seat, having my arms across my chest.

Oxygen caught me grinning through the rear view mirror, I cocked him a brow. His forehead knotted before a devious smile touched his lips. "Talaga, Gabgab? Para namang hindi ko nakita kung paano ka nag-laway sakin kaninang umaga."

"Para namang walang nangyaring ganon, Oxygen?!" Masungit ko siyang muling binalingan. "You're delusional!"

"You're so defensive," another series of demonic and irritating laughter comes next. "Sabi ko nga sayo, okay lang naman. Sanay na ko."

"You're sick in the head."

Oxygen maybe everything annoying but he's harmless. At least on how I see it. As I requested, he took me to his fuck-flat. I'm trying to shove away dirty thoughts of him and his women and all the scenarios that took place in here. I need someplace to be, right now, it's the safest one.

Comfortably sitting above his couch with both of my feet up, Oxygen is sitting on the carpet holding a bottle of beer. He didn't give me one, he said it's too expensive for him to give me a free drink. I told him I'd pay but he said it's not for sale.

He doesn't want me to drink, that's all.

"So, alam mo?"

"Ang alin?"

"About Lance and Ethan?" I lifted my gaze and meet his blue eyes. He took his time drinking his beer without breaking our contact.

"Hindi," he shrugged. "Pero hindi ako tanga. Hindi na kailangan pang sabihin sakin ni Ethan o ni Lance 'yon para malaman ko."

"So they're really in a relationship?!" I snarled, he's more like confirming what I saw. What we saw. Not because Ethan kissed her doesn't mean they're a thing. We aren't but Ethan did kiss me, long ago. Still, he did, too.

"Wala akong sinabi." A playful grin crept his lips. "Sila man o hindi, wala ka ng pakealam don. Wala na rin akong pakealam don at walang pakealam buong Pilipinas o kahit sino pa. Buhay nila 'yon, Gabgab. Labas ka don."

"You can't just say that! I care because I'm in love with Ethan!" I exclaimed.

"You're obsessed with him." Simpleng sabi niya.

"Love is an obsession! It has that quality to it!" I defended. "And there are healthy obsessions!"

"Yours isn't one of it," he took a swig on his beer before he continued. "Kung healthy pa 'yang ginagawa mo, hindi ka sana umiiyak. Hindi ka sana nag-papakalasing. The way I see it last night, hindi ka naman sanay uminom. Pero uminom inom ka, ngayon nga gusto mo pa ulit uminom, di ba? Ano ba akala mo sa alak? Magic? Gago 'to oh, walang ganon. Uminom ka man ng uminom, iiyak at iiyak ka pa rin. Dapat ginagawa mo, inaalis mo sa sistema mo yung dahilan ng pag-iyak mo."

"You talk as if you know so much about love," naiinis ko siyang inirapan. I hate it that he's making sense. "You know nothing, Oxygen. All you know is to pull panties down, screw women and that's it. You don't care much aside of getting laid. So, you can't just tell me what to do."

"Kaya ayoko ng mahal mahal na ganyan, masyadong madrama. Hindi ko naman sinasabing hindi mahalaga 'yang ganyang kaartehan sa buhay ng tao. I have my parents, they're both in love. I love seeing them that way. Ang sakin lang, hindi ako mag-aaksaya ng oras para sa ganyang drama. Tangina, Gabbana, 'yang oras na ginugugol mo sa pag-iyak at pag-Ethan Ethan mo, siguro nakaraming labas na ko non."

My forehead knotted in a frown, thinking about what he said. I don't get it. He's looking at me as if waiting for me to absorbed his words but I just can't comprehend. It took him awhile before he let out a bark of laughter.

"You're insane!" I hissed. "Nakaraming ano? Labas? What does that mean?"

Umiiling-iling siya habang patuloy lamang sa pag-tawa. "Wala, sige na, tuloy mo na kwentong Ethan mo. Lakas maka-fairytale, e. Lupet. Bakit di mo naisipan ibenta sa Disney 'yan? Mas maangas pa 'yan kesa sa Cinderella 'tamo."

I grabbed the throw pillow beside me and threw it on his face. I hate it that he's making fun of me and my thing about Ethan. I really hate him.

"Bakit? Totoo naman. First kiss, first love. Very ideal. Putangina, ako nga di ko na maalala kung sino first kiss ko bukod sa nanay ko." Patuloy pa niya.

"Alam mo, ewan ko sayo! You and your mouth are so not helping!"

"Sino ba nagsabi sayo na tinutulungan kita? Lakas neto, oh" tumatawa parin niyang sabi. "Pinapakinggan lang kita sa mga kadramahan mo kasi bored ako. Isa pa, kawawa ka naman kung walang makikinig sayo. Mamaya mag-suicide ka, see I'm saving a life. May silbi parin ako sa lupa, kahit papano."

"I think mas needed ka sa hell, like, you really belong there!" I smiled at him sarcastically.

"At least you're smiling now," he grinned and pulled himself up finishing the bottle he's holding. "Tumawag ka sa kuya mo, sabihin mo nasakin ka. Wag mo pinag-aalala yung mga tao na nagpapahalaga sayo, inaantok ka na ba?"

He's right. I have to call Zander and assure him that I'm fine. But I don't think it's good to tell him that I'm with Oxygen. Maybe I should call Kurtney to have her cover for me. I'll tell Zander that I'm sleeping over at Kurtney's, that way he'll feel more secured.

"Kung hindi ka pa inaantok, manuod ka nalang. May hard drive na nakasaksak dyan, wag ka lang mag-hanap ng romance at kilig kilig kasi putangina hindi ako korni." Sabi niya bago tunguhin ang kusina.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako napangiti doon, I don't expect him to watch romantic films either. That's so out of his character. Inabot ko ang remote, I then frowned. "I thought you're not living here, so why do you load movies in your TV?"

"Minsan, kapag naiirita ako sa pag-mumukha ni Anja, hindi ako umuuwi ng bahay."

"Who's Anja?" I don't know why I asked but it's too late to realize what I just said.

"Kapatid ko, bunso."

I turned the TV on and Oxygen is still at the kitchen, doing something. "Oh, so you have a sister."

"Tatlo. Kambal ko yung isa, si Titanium. Tapos si Audrey at Anja, kambal din." He said.

"Wow, twins really run in your genes, huh?" I scanned all the movies on flat screen.

"Oo, gusto mo rin ba ng kambal?" Hindi ko sana pakakahulugan ang tanong niyang iyon kung hindi siya sumungaw mula sa kusina. The annoying grin he had on his face is hard to ignore. "If you want you can invest in my genes..."

I wasn't too quick to understand his jokes most of the time and if I ever did, I'd really feel so embarrassed. "You're yuck, Oxygen!"

"You should've seen your face." He chuckled, walking out from the kitchen with pack of chips on his hand. Ibinato niya iyon sakin. "Oh, mag-inarte ka dyan. Tawagan ko lang nanay ko na hindi ako uuwi ngayon, lagi akong namimiss non, e."

Inirapan ko siya atsaka muling binalingan ang TV. I have selected one action movie I haven't watched yet. Lahat naman kasi ng naroon ay action. Oxygen De Salvo that he is.

I opened the chips as the movie started, si Oxygen naman ay tinungo ang nag-iisang kwarto roon, the one where I slept last night. I started eating and realized that I'm having my favorite chips, a chipotle ranch.

I can't remember when was the last time I've had a taste of chips, I'm always watching my food intake and chips isn't really friends with my diet list. But now, I'm having some.

I smiled at the thought, no, this night isn't that bad after all.