"So he's still not talkin' to ya?" Jimin completed pouring the first cup of tea and handed to Jungkook who was sitting on the shelf of the office pantry.

"Honestly at this point I want him to not talk to me." Jungkook sipped his tea and rubbed his temple with the other hand muttering 'good tea'.

"Why?" the shorter one chuckled.

"Because he's made his life motto to spite me. Apparently it's my fault I didn't lie to the annoying kid who kept asking questions!"

"What kind of questions exactly?"

"He kept pronouncing popcorn as cockporn and kept asking me if I wanted to eat his cockporn so I said he's not supposed to say that and he's like 'wHy NoT' so I told him exactly what that means!" he scrunched his nose.

"No you did not!!" Jimin laughed throwing his head back, eyes disappearing in the process.

"That fucker kept saying hammer-boy is better than Iron Man!" suddenly Jimin stopped laughing and scowled at him.

"Should've told him Santa's not real. That'd give him real trauma." he gritted out and turned to follow the other into his new office with his own cup in hand. "But what exactly is your future-husband doing to spite you?"

"Oh you wanna know that? Hmm where do I start?" he tapped his finger on his chin and dramatically acted to think deeply. "Let's start with the smallest detail. HE BOUGHT A PEACOCK!"

Jimin spit out his tea coughing after "I'm sorry a what? I think I misheard!"

"Nope. You heard that right. A FULL GROWN, ADULT, HORNY, READY TO MATE- PEACOCK in our apartment building."

"Oookkaayyy but how can you say it's about you. He could've just wanted himself a... Peacock?" jimin frowned at his own statement.

"Oh yeah? I'll tell you how I can say that." Jungkook stood seething towards the other. "Because he had him trained that I'm the one he's supposed to mate with. I'm the peahen of his dreams!"

Jimin spit his tea again and dropped from the chair laughing. "I-I'm.. I'm sorry? Is that even possible? I think I misheard a-again!" he stuttered between fits of laughter.

"Nope. Right again. And wanna know more?"

"Please! I wanna know everything!"

"So the peacock gets it's boner in like 0.05 seconds if he hears 'Trrr- Trrr' and you know what my dear best friend turned boyfriend does about it?"

"No but I'm dying to know!" Jimin chirped with little claps, tea now forgotten because he's getting a better tea.

"He's like the horny peacock too but only more evil. So he we have sex and he cums first, blocks me from cuming and then runs to bathroom, leaving blue-fucking-balled, after shouting a Trrr-Trrr!" he shudders as if traumatized.

"Then I'm being chased by a bird that spreads its tail, which by the way is the size of our entire room, at the mere site of me and I'm fucking running around to save myself from being impregnated... NAKED!!!"

Jimin almost died from laughing too much. "Holy fuck that's a lot of punishment for merely not lying to a child"

"Yeah... About that.."

"What am I missing?"

"He got thrown off of the project he was called for and also his chance for a raise."

"Well, I hope you conceive soon then." Jimin tsked.
"But you better make him cool down if you want to execute this weekend's plan." he gets up to leave, still laughing. "And remind to never get on Taehyung's bad side!"

Jungkook sighed at the thought of weekend's plans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My baby.
My sunshine.
My cuddly bear.
My gorgeous little petal.
My honey.
My muffin.
My sweetie pie.
My little puppy.
Baby please please please. I said I'm sorry. I won't ever make enemies with a seven year old again I promise!"

They were in their bedroom which previously used to be taehyung's and the other's room was now converted exclusively into a gaming room which Jungkook couldn't be happier about.
On their bed, Jungkook was straddling Taehyung's lap, who had his arms crossed across his chest and looking the other way with a big pout.

"I promise I'll apologize to Soejoon myself."

"It's Namjoon! Ugh!" he pouted again.

"Yes, sorry and I'll buy that fucking annoying-ass child an ice cream or something too."

"Apologize to my boss, then I can think about returning the peacock. And no need to buy anything for that fucker, he really was annoying."

"Oh thank god! I hate kids!"

After a small pause taehyung spoke up. "Koo?" the other hummed in return.

"Do you never want kids of our own?"

Jungkook was caught off-guard at this. Was he supposed to tell the truth or say what he thinks Taehyung wants him to say.
Jimin is not wrong, Taehyung is indeed very scary.
"Sure.. Umm.. Whenever uh you want we can.. Uh.. Adopt? Or get you pregnant?"

"REALLY?? LET'S DO IT THEN!! WE'LL GO TO THE ADOPTION AGENCY TOMORROW! YAY!" Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook's waist who suddenly started feeling nauseous.

"T-tomorrow?" he asked, bile rising to mouth.

"Yeah.. Why you just said.. Don't you want..? " Taehyung's smile dropped and chin started to wobble. Jungkook panicked.

"N-no! I mean, yay tomorrow! Baby agency!! Yay yay!"

Taehyung chuckled and pecked his forehead, then both the cheeks and then kissed him on the lips deeply. "You really love me, don't you? I'm kidding, babe. There's no baby in the picture."

Jungkook sighed loudly and dropped his head on the other's shoulder reciting a 'thankgodthankgodthankgod'. "I was almost going to vomit at the thought of having a baby, I kid you not!"

Taehyung laughed loudly at this "You really think I would do that to you? And why are there no apology macarons by the way?"

"Well you had a bird trained to lust over me, so don't blame me for not trusting you enough. Also I'd bake but I'm fucking terrified to get humped if I step out of the room." Jungkook mumbled

Taehyung laughed loudly and then pulled the other's neck to a deep french kiss while Jungkook started turning there position to hover over the other, straddling him. "I'm gonna bottom today."

"Nothing! We've got to pack for tomorrow. You're the one who insisted on visiting my family."

"Right, right. We should pack." he started trailing kisses down his throat. "In about twenty minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ouch, ma!" Jungkook shrieked when Taehyung's mother pulled his cheeks sadistically laughing after "I really am okay with only one Kim's love."

"Shutup you! It's been so long I've seen you.. Did you put on weight? You look so chubby and cute!" she pulled his cheeks again to which Jungkook shrieked once more.

"What? no! I've been working out. I've not turned chubby Ma, I've turned buffy." he flexed his biceps in front of her to which she shrugged.

"Glass is half full.. Glass is half empty." she rolled her eyes and Taehyung laughed knowing she was doing this purposely to rile him up.

"No! Poppie! Your wife is acting stupid again!" Jungkook shouted and started chasing the old man, stomping his feet.

Taehyung smiled at the weird but warm relationship his boyfriend had with his parents. He hears his mother calling for him from the back garden to which he replied he will wash up first and then come.

Mumbling curses at Jungkook for having left him alone to bring up the luggage he went to the shower before heading out for their barbeque night.

What he did not expect in the garden was the presence of their friends? Hosoek, Jimin, Yoongi were all standing across the table at the corner along with Taehyung's parents.

What were they doing here?

"I invited them." Jungkook's voice came from behind Taehyung seeing him approach the garden in... A suit?

Now that he looks around, each one of them were dressed formally and fancily, except Yoongi who was wearing flip flops with his formal shirt and pants.

Is there a funeral he wasn't informed about?

Just then his mother rolls in her little food trolly with a two tier cake on top of it and candles in the shape of a '27'.

All of them start singing in unison startling Taehyung "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TAEHYUNG.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU."

They all finished singing except Hosoek who was still stretching the oooooh of the youuu, Yoongi had to seal his mouth.

Everyone looked at Taehyung expectantly to show some kind of surprise and awe but he just stood there, blank. After a few seconds he did speak up-

"Today is not my birthday." He said with confusion written all over his face.

All the heads snapped in direction of a shocked Jungkook who's own head snapped in direction of Taehyung's parents who were trying to avoid eye contact at all costs mouthing an 'oops' sheepishly.

"My birthday is on December 30th, today is the 28th."

Everyone looked here and there towards each other when Hosoek finally stepped up.

"Pfftt.. Everyone knows that, idiot! We're celebrating it in advance because Jungkook has a much bigger plan for you on your day!" he chirped while the others looked even more confused.

"He does?" Taehyung asks looking hopefully at Jungkook.

"He does?" Jungkook asks looking hopefully at Hosoek, then back at Taehyung. "Ofcourse he does! And since Hosoek is the greatest anchor of our advance party, he will tell you my plan!" Jungkook clapped and point at Hosoek again.

Everyone's head was like a spectators of a badminton match moving from one side of the gardrn to other, as they moved back to Hosoek.

"Oh you want me to tell? Ok! It's a vacation!! For both of you!! Three-days/ four nights. Woohoo" Hosoek danced with jazz hands.

"WHAT?? REALLY KOO?? OHMYGOD! WHERE?" Taehyung asked as he jumped up to hug a dumbfounded Jungkook who catched him last minute.

"Um.. That will also be revealed by Mr. Jazz hands.".

"Me? Uh.. Um.. No no. Taehyung will have to guess where?"

"Oh oh is it.. " taehyung began with wide eyes "Is it Maldives?"

"Maldives it is!! Woohhooo" Jimin joined him in the dance this time while taehyyung was a gasping and yelling mess jumping in jungkook's arms yelling 'i got it in the first guess'.

Yoongi waved his phone at Jungkook assuring that he was already on the job of fixing the bookings. Jungkook sighed. Thank God for friends.

"Are we ever gonna cut the cake?" Taehyung's father spoke up, eyes only on the cake.

"Oh wouldn't you want that?" Jungkook growled only to recieve an apologetic smile from the mother.

Taehyung cut the cake and blew the candles. He then picked up a piece bringing it to Jungkook's mouth and then pecking it right after.
"Koo, you're bestestestestestest boyfriend ever!"

"That's the thing Tae, I don't wanna be that."

"Huh?"

"Let me... be the bestest husband ever."

Saying that he took out a blue box from his pocket and sat down on one knee.

Jimin and Yoongi popped confetti from each side, Hosoek started clicking pictures and Mr. Kim hugged taehyung's mother who was now in tears.....

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

This is the second to last chapter of this book hoooof!