~Clothes, washed.

~Rooms, cleaned  (well, jungkook's room cleaned, because Taehyung's never gets dirty in the first place).

~Office works, sorted. (well,  taehyung's office work sorted because jungkook never brings any work home even if he has to spend a few extra hours at the office. While the other is the king of procrastination when it came to drawing sketches of new designs for the art firm he works at)

~ Mac n' cheese, ready.

~ Chilled beer,  entire carton ready.

~ Binge series, decided.

All set for the rest of the evening and night they unfolded the couch to form a bed, which taehyung is glad jungkook had fought for over the lazyboys, and proved to be a good purchase, but ofcourse he'll never admit.

An hour later Jungkook burped loudly  for a good 3 seconds continuous and then gave taehyung a victorious smile.  To this the other gulped his third beer in one go and then burped to break his best friend's record. And soon it turned into a battlefield, Jon Snow completely forgotten, as these two started their own Game of throne- throne for the best burper that is.

Right in the middle of this serious game taehyung's phone began to vibrate. He got his head off of jungkook's back to look for the device and found it on the table beside the couch bed.

Jungkook studied as taehyung's face turned into an irritated one as soon as he looked at the contact which made him chuckle.

"Big-boobs-Massey? "

"Yeah. Do me a favor and cancel the date on Wednesday. Actually, cancel big-boobs-Massey forever while you're at it."

Jungkook sat up and took taehyung's phone and cleared his throat before picking up the call.

That's the advantage of being childhood friends with a good impersonator. Jungkook can imitate taehyung's  voice and etiquettes better than taehyung himself. Not even taehyung's own mother can tell the difference when jungkook answers her calls whenever the other is not in the mood.

Also in situations like these where taehyung uses jungkook to get rid of the girls because he is too much of a softie himself to ever say the word 'no'.  Jungkook, on the other hand...  let's just see it for ourselves.

"Hello?" jungkook said in a deep voice along with an expression that taehyung makes while answering a call, earning him a backhand on the chest.

"Hi, Taehyung. How are you? " an overly squeaky voice said making jungkook glare at the phone screen for a moment.

"I'm good.  I'm good. Look big-... I mean,  Massey. I, uh,  wanted to say that even though it was good while it lasted, i don't think we can go out on Wednesday."

"or ever" taehyung mouthed jungkook  to say.

"or ever" jungkook keeping his hand on his mouth immediately after to prevent from bursting into laughter.

"Any specific reason?" she sounded mad.

"No,  not really."

" So you're acting like a jerk for no reason?"

"Now that's not fair. Just because i couldn't really find us working out in the future and trying cut this off maturely before anything serious happens doesn't mean I'm acting like a jerk."

"Oh yeah, real mature of you realizing that we won't workout because all you wanna do is lay down on your bed while that housemate of yours sucks your cock."

"My who does what to my what???? "

"Now don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. On all of our dates the only thing you kept rambling about is that guy you live with. You take me for fool,  I'm not."

"What is she saying?" taehyung mouthed to jungkook.

Jungkook dumbfounded only shook his head in reassuring attempt, but quickly regathered his composure before snapping.

"Listen here big-boobs, i was trying to do this nicely because I thought that'd be the right thing to do.
But the real reason I didn't want to see you again was ever sinced i screwed you, i have this constant itching on my glans penis and I'm pretty sure i contracted gonorrhea or something from you I'm gonna get rid of the Neisseria along with the STD. That's you, in case you didn't get the metaphor."

Taehyung's eyes went wide as he covered his mouth with his hand at the sudden snapping. He always did this nicely,  what did big-boobs say to get him this mad.

"Talk about acting mature, huh?  Your roommate anyways was hotter,  I'd get into his pants gladly but you're probably already there."

"Fuck off" Jungkook said in his original voice and hung up in an urgency hearing something his brain couldn't process
Something that he's heard a few times before, but politely.

Back when they had just joined university and taehyung would walk a really long distance from fashion block to block of business school, just to have lunch together at the cafeteria next to jungkook's block. Jungkook never thought much of it because taehyung would always go to extreme levels just so he doesn't have to interact with new people.

But Jimin,  Jungkook's then classmate for accounts and now coworker, casually said how cute they looked together and if they were seeing each other.
How both of them sat there with gaped mouths and wide orbs and then ended up laughing nervously.
Then jungkook started having lunch at taehyung's block's cafeteria, because the whole ordeal wasn't big enough to force the antisocial charcoal haired to go through the torture of making new friends but also wasn't small enough to let it slide and have it just like it used to be.

Although everyone at University then came to know that wasn't the case when jungkook became the famous fuckboy slash heart throbe of college having payed a visit to every other girl's knickers and taehyung also started some unsuccessful but regular hookups every now and then.

One other time was a year prior to the Jimin encounter when the same misunderstanding took place with jungkook's mom.
They were in jungkook's room accounting all the money they had saved for the past three years and how much more they should save in case they get scholarships together at the same university (which they did) and could rent an apartment in the outskirts instead of the tacky dorms.

Just casually his mother dropped "I'm glad you guys are taking your relationship so seriously."

They sat confused for a while before they caught on and jungkook snapped at his mother about how he is straight and she would have known if she hadn't spent his entire childhood only focusing on herself. Regular teenage attitude, y'know.

But they didn't do the accountings they did every weekend for about a month. Also jungkook ended up applying for buisiness school instead of arts which was originally planned because fashion and arts was in the same block just so people don't get the 'wrong idea'.

It's not like he was homophobic or anything. Taehyung's coworker and only other friend after jungkook, Jung hosoek, was homosexual and in a live-in relationship. They had hung out multiple times at each other's apartments.
So he wasn't homophobic, this much was clear. He was just, straight. Simple as that.

And so was taehyung. Infact he got laid this thursday, with a vagina, not a dick.

Snapped out of his thoughts when he saw a hand waved in front of his eyes! "Yo! Koo!  What's wrong? What'd she say to make you so pissed at her"

"Hmm? Huh? Nothing... Just...  Said your roommate looks better.. Would rather get in my pants.... That's.. Yeah..  She said that. "

"Okayyyy..  But more than half of them say that why'd you get pissed this time"

"Because... I don't know... Her... She..  The boobs are too big...  I don't like it."

Taehyung gave a hearty laugh at this while jungkook just gawked at him in utter panic.

Both the other times they got awkward but they were teenagers.

Now they are not. They are both 26, soon turning 27 with well-paying respectable jobs where they can easily afford seperate apartments for themselves and still somehow end up moving to bigger apartment together one year after they finished college.

And everything now is tenfolds serious.
Them going around giving everyone an impression that there might be something going on between the two could be a reason for their failed love lives.
Actually, scratch that,  that is the reason for their failed love lives. They've never even tried to separate Ofcourse everyone would think they're together and they are straight  for crying out loud.

Is finding confort in Taehyung solemnly a reason for me never wanting a relationship, EVER?

Maybe knowingly,  unknowingly big-boobs-Massey has started a turmoil that'll change everything for better or for worse.

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