The room was brightly lit from several angles. Sandra was busy giving orders on camera placement, microphones, and growling at her workers about too many loose cords lying across the floor. "Someone will trip," she muttered again and again while shaking her head.

It seemed serious, a lot more serious than I'd thought the first time I was here. They had also sent Tim back to the changing room for other clothes. Apparently it was par for the course and a standing joke among them. Tom would appear in the tiniest clothes he could find only to dash back while laughter rang through the air.

"Ayden, do you know your lines?" Sandra asked, not looking at him, but at her clipboard.

"Yes."

"Tim, are you prepared?" she continued.

"Yes, Sandra."

I didn't know what to do with myself as everyone started to move around and get into position.

"Boyfriend. You go sit on that chair over there." She didn't look at me, but it was pretty obvious who she meant. She pointed over her shoulder, and I spotted a chair behind everything. From there I wouldn't see much, but at least I wouldn't be in anyone's way.

Sitting down, I tried to relax. It didn't work, but I kept myself distracted by watching the others. Sandra was prepping Ayden and Tim, giving them directions and asking a bunch of questions that made me squirm in my seat. However, they were all asked in a clinical manner, and it helped to solidify the feeling of something professional. This was a shoot, not two lovers meeting in the comfort of their home. Perhaps it wasn't even sex; rather, it was an act.

I was so enraptured by everything that I only realized they were about to begin when Sandra said, "Scene One, Take One, go!"

This was such a stupid idea. Bile rose in my throat as everything seemed to tighten inside my chest.

The cameras were rolling. Tim knocked on the door, Ayden opened and everything began. Damn. My chest ached when Tim flung his arms around Ayden's neck, looking very much in love as he pulled Ayden down for a hungry kiss.

It's an act, it's an act. I repeated the mantra over and over again, but I just seemed to choke on it. It seemed to go on forever. Their lips moved together in a rapid dance and I could just watch and feel how my monster reared its ugly head.

"Cut!" Sandra called out.

Ayden and Tim broke apart.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Ayden, go talk to your boyfriend."

Ayden's gaze found me, and I saw how he paled. No, this wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want him to feel bad. It was just... it felt so real.

Ayden rushed to my side, sitting down in front of me. He took my hands in one of his and let the other one caress my cheek.

"Should we go out for a bit?" he asked.

I got lost in his worried eyes. He sounded so concerned, and I seemed to melt from within from his simple touch.

"No, it's fine. It was just a shock. I'll get over it in a few," I said, softly, so the others wouldn't hear too much. I felt like a weakling. I was supposed to handle this. I had to. I asked for this, and now I had to deal with it. The problem was that I had focused on the actual sex, not on the idea of them kissing. Somehow it felt a lot more intimate.

Tim came up behind Ayden. I hadn't expected that.

"Hey, Cal. For your information, I'm thinking about my boyfriend when I'm doing this. Otherwise, I couldn't have..." He sounded concerned as well. I wondered just how pained I must have looked.

"It's okay. I'm okay."

Tim nudged my shoulder. "Of course you are, but better you deal with this now than later, because it won't be as easy to start over again later."

He had a point.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and exhaled. A soft pair of lips landed on mine.

"Thank you for being here." The words brushed along my skin and settled the ache in my chest.

"It's okay. Now, go kiss that guy while thinking about me." I wondered if I let it go too fast.

He smiled, pecked my lips again and left with whisper. "Always."

The ache vanished, replaced by loud thumps as my heart reacted to his words. Just having him close like that turned me on.

"Good, now since that's settled. Let's continue," Sandra said. She gave me a small smile and a knowing nod. I mouthed a thank you, which made her smile wider.

"From the start, Scene One. Take Two."

The scene started from the beginning again—with Tim knocking followed by that kiss. This time I was prepared, and I felt in control of my reactions. The kiss turned from desperate to sweet and then desperate again until Ayden threw in one of his lines.

"Vanessa won't be home for the evening. We should make the most of it."

Tim replied by jumping up and locking his legs around Ayden's hips.

"I'm all yours tonight, babe."

Tim was a good actor, I had to give him that. I hadn't thought it would feel this real. They really did look like a couple and a good one at that. Tim had left that outrageous persona behind, and now he was merely cute and flirtatious. Some might even consider it sexy. But, he had nothing on Ayden. Absolutely nothing.

I watched as my boyfriend carried Tim to the kitchen table standing like a centerpiece in the middle of the room. Unlike last time, there was no bed—just the table and the set around it, which made it look like a real kitchen. Tim sat down on the hard surface and pulled Ayden into another kiss while fumbling with the buttons on Ayden's shirt.

I couldn't look away. My blood was boiling, but not with anger or jealousy. I was getting turned on— something I hadn't expected at all.

Ayden ripped off Tim's revealing shirt and began to administer kisses across his bared skin. Tim moaned and let his head fall back, exposing his throat. A tendril of jealousy crawled inside of me, but it wasn't dark or destructive. I just wished Ayden was doing that to me right now. I wanted his touch, his kisses, his everything.

I tried to breathe deeply while the other two continued to undress. Ayden took his time, which obviously triggered Tim, as he began to squirm, loudly moaning when Ayden touched his erection.

I stifled a groan. My own cock was pulsing, straining against my pants. Fuck. I thought about leaving the room for a cigarette—just to cool down—but I knew I couldn't. While they were filming I was trapped. Some part of my brain kept telling me that it was wrong of me to enjoy this, while another part said 'screw it' and urged me to let go of all restraints.

I was confused, but most of all I was relieved that I didn't feel like throwing up or strangling Tim.

A few minutes later they were both naked, and my mouth watered as my eyes roamed over Ayden's back and ass. He had a nice body. Perfect.

Tim's hands kept appearing, stroking the skin I wanted to stroke. It was an odd feeling. I wanted to be where Tim was. I wanted to be him, to feel everything.

"Cut!"

My body jolted at the sound of Sandra's voice. The two actors pulled apart, looking rather drunk with pleasure. If I hadn't felt that feeling myself, I would have screamed out in devastated jealousy. But I couldn't, especially since Ayden looked straight at me, devouring me with his gaze. Our shared moment seemed weirdly intimate—like we were alone and the others simply bystanders.

"Whoa, you've got quite the chemistry going on between the two of you," Sandra said. It effectively broke our connection, and I wondered what she meant. I thought she was talking about Tim and Ayden, and for a second I was pissed as hell. Then I noticed she was turned toward us. She meant us... I grinned. You bet!

She winked at me and got back to work. "Do you need some time, or shall we get on with the next part?"

Ayden went over to me, seemingly undisturbed by the fact that he was completely naked. If my pulse hadn't been running already, it would have kick-started as he sauntered across the floor and sat down in my lap.

"I'm thinking of you, Cal. Can you feel my hands all over you?"

I dove into his neck and kissed his heated skin. "Yes." My voice came out as a hoarse whisper, and I knew he could tell I was aroused. He chuckled and bit into my ear.

"We'll have fun when we get home later."

I groaned loudly. I couldn't help it.

"Hey guys, if you don't want us to film the two of you instead...Do you think we can proceed?" Sandra asked, clearly amused.

"Yes, later," I whispered. I received another kiss, and then he was gone.

I stared at his ass and got lost in my arousal as Tim's arms and legs wrapped around Ayden again.

I kept his words in my head, repeating them over and over again as the scene got more intense. It was torture to watch. Torture because I wanted to give Ayden pleasure. I wanted to receive.

I repeated Ayden's words again while Tim's lips found Ayden's erection; I repeated them when Ayden got wrapped up in his tight heat.

I wasn't aroused anymore.

I couldn't help it.

It hurt.

I should be where Tim was. Ayden shouldn't have said no to my proposal to do a scene together. He should have understood that I wanted him for myself. It didn't matter that the world could watch. I could show the world. I could show anyone, as long as they saw that he was mine.

If we were doing this, we were doing it together.