Your advice could save my life
But could just as easily damage it
My mind is fragile
And deliverance is everything
You care so much about my future
Too much
You care just enough to risk breaking it
My mind is fragile
And I can't take the lecturing and yelling
I strive for perfection for you
For the whole family
All I have ever wanted was to prove that I'm good enough and won't end up a failure like many in this family
You tell me to be wise and learn from others rather than smart by learning from my own mistakes
But I am not perfect
I will and have made mistakes
I can see in your eyes when you lecture me that you care
But you give in to easily to anger
A foe I've grown accustomed to
A foe I've felt within my own soul
Anger towards you
Towards the world
Towards myself
How can I try to explain?
My lips want to seal shut
I have been taught to listen
Ordered to listen
Forced to listen,
Then how I am to voice my opinions?
My fears?
My problems and ordeals?
I might not have a voice until I am 18
And 18 seems an escape
But there's so much you need to know
About me
About my mind
So much you need to know while we still have a chance
All the times that I've cried
The tears I've shed in vain
For no one will ever see
The pain inside of me
My heart aches for the days
When you and I got along
I'm still your little girl
But changed, more fragile and less innocent to the pains of this world
Let my dreams soar with who I am
Let me be the actress and musician I was born to be
The writer with a poets voice as strong as a lion's roar
The wordsmith who wants to use her gifts for God
You were once just like me
A dreamer who didn't care about money in the future
And didn't heed the advice of others
A young spirit who dealt with his own mountains to conquer
Please bear in mind that you were once like me
That I am your daughter
That I have become so much like you
But it does not mean I am or will become you
I've changed so much of who I am
For the sake of pleasing high expectations
To suit the advice I've been given
But the advice is some they wished for their younger selves
It does not apply to me
I'm not the kind of girl to get pregnant at 16
To smoke or take drugs
To drink alcohol
All the demons that those around me have battled
Do not apply to me
I am being wise as you have taught
I am still young
And I'm sorry I may forever stay naive to what you have gone through
But as your daughter I plead to you
I ask of you
To be more understanding
To be more of a listener
And to work with me on saving
Our relationship
I don't want to turn away
I don't want to be stuck in the past
I don't want to go away when I turn 18
And never look back on the father that raised me by himself
I don't want to turn my back on the father that sacrificed so much for me
Understand the struggles I face everyday that have rooted from the mistakes of the both of us
And help me heal the scars of our past