The young boy stood in the middle of the town centre, his leather boots covered with the mixture of blood and mud. The ground was slick, and the sound of heavy footsteps were all around as tired soldiers walked past him, checking all houses, corners and scanning the forest four times before announcing it clear. The vibrant sky mirrored from his blue eyes, making them look dark purple as he gazed into the morning light.

The sky seemed to reflect red from the ground, and he wondered if it was the ugly irony, was earth really Hell? And he couldn't help but believe it was as he looked down again, seeing the piles of broken, twisted bodies and the red that covered them all. And then he looked up, the enormous sky, the cold red of the first sunrays that instead of touching the ground caressed the clouds drifting overhead. Was that, up there, Heaven? It looked just as red as the soil William was standing on. And he feared that it was the colour that would haunt him for the years to come.

"We will be on the move soon Rogers, Captain Carter asked you to go to the front, Srg Harrison will be flanking this time." said a soldier whose name came to him hazily, it was Dan or Don, he couldn't remember properly. The dark haired soldier gave William a forced smile, placing his helmet under his arm as he glanced up at Will once more. He smiled and nodded, saying a quiet thank you under his breath as he started walking towards the people he had grown to trust somewhat. His dark pants had smears of mud on them, and his sleeves had droplets of dried blood and as hard as he tried, he could not remember how these had gotten there.

He had grown numb, and only thing pulling him back to reality was the growing headache pounding in his temples. As if someone was throwing grenades in his brain. He gripped the worn leather strap of his rifle, eyes scanning the surrounding suspiciously as he stepped quietly next to Jack Hoare whose hands were crossed over his chest, eyes narrowed as he looked down at a soldier who was supposed to be on a night watch. William felt small next to Hoare who always seemed to know what to expect, how to act, what to say and how to make people feel... Strong. Because everyone felt obligated to hide their weaknesses from someone like Jack Hoare.

"You will be escorted back to the Capital where your crimes will be judged, Soldier. Dismissed." were the last words William heard before the ghostly looking soldier scurried off with tail between his legs, receiving glares and muttered curses on his wake. William frowned, not knowing how to properly feel about it.

Because the longer he was there, his emotions seemed to be switching on and off whenever they pleased. And William didn't know how to control it.

They got a move on, but before they did, John was teasing William, telling him how much being stabbed was worth it if he had the pleasure of sleeping under a real blanket. Will hadn't said a thing, his throat was dry even though he had chugged down a whole cup of freezing water. He was dizzy and the flashbacks of Clara kept haunting him. Would the girl be alive if Will hadn't... Hadn't been there?

Everything was a swirling mess as he jumped on the back of a truck, sitting quietly next to Theo who was glaring at the opposite wall, his sea coloured eyes filled with anger, hatred and deep-rooted fury. William gave him a glance, eyes jumping down to the burning cigarette he was holding between his clean hands. Washed from blood and murder.

War had made Theo bitter, he thought.

As truck started moving, he wasn't sure if starting up a conversation with Theo was worth it. The man had clearly shown how much he despised Will. So, the boy leaned back, gripped his rifle and stared away into space.

He wondered if Steve was alive, and if he was, was he scared too? Was he terrified of the future? Was he horrified by the present and was he missing the past like William was? And Bucky, he hoped the two were together, he knew they would look after each other.
William wanted to cry, he was terrified and as he watched his fingers, all he could see were the falling bodies and gunfire.

What had he done, what had he became.

"It is not easy to fight monsters without becoming one. But if you don't sacrifice your soul for the devil, they sure as hell won't disappear. So quit pitying yourself and deal with it like the rest of us." Theo said quietly, making Will glance up after realising the moody man had been studying him. As he lifted the cig to his cracked lips, he noticed his clean hands were shaking just lightly. But his face betrayed no disgust or nausea. "But don't you feel... Feel like... Like you're never going to be happy again?" he voiced his thoughts hesitantly, surprised he was having this conversation with Theo. The man's lips quirked upwards as be blew the smoke up. "Kid, the happiness of soldiers doesn't matter if it means avenging the innocent." he said as if it was the most obvious thing. "Now shut your trap and sleep, we've got a whole day to sit in this truck." he said stiffly, the smile gone as he looked away, the stoic mask falling back on.

William said nothing, knowing it would be better to stay quiet.

Neither of them slept thought, and William was suspicious Theo had just wanted to drown in his own mind again. He wondered what was his story? What had shaped Theo?

They had stopped to put up a camp and to make his mood worse, Captain had ordered Will to stay near the tent all the times. It had caused the others around them to snicker, and William could do nothing but fume in silence, salute his Captain and sit near the tent. They were contemplating if sending John back to the hospital was a better decision then letting him stay, but the man, for some reason, was adamant on staying.

He was cleaning his rifle as he noticed more commotion. He berked up curiously, trying to hear what the spies had gathered but knowing it was best to follow the orders.

But then again... He was going to be sent back soon, wasn't he?

Hesitantly, William placed his rifle down and stood up, blue eyes wide as he jumped, not having heard anyone's footsteps. "I thought you were ordered to stay here." Jacks low voice made his cheeks flush in embarrassment as he whipped around, finding the older man tappinghis foot.

"I was just going to take a piss." he said, flinching at how pathetic he sounded. After a heavy silence, Will sighed and sat back down, refusing the meet the older mans eye. He waved his arms over his head, trying to chase away the flies that had gathered over them. What he would give for one of those good smelling baths he had chance to take at Mrs. Davis' place.
"You know, if I didnt know better I'd say you are roughly underage to be here. Try to be more mature and maybe people will stop gossiping like a bunch of women in sauna."

Tread filled him as anxiety seemed to tighten an iron rope around his sweaty neck. Unintentionally, he balled his fists and look up, scowling at the second in command who seemed unamused by the whole ordeal. "Don't test the captain. After the meeting is over, we will all be here. Understood?" he said lowly, towering over the younger man, refusing to let Will drop his gaze. "Understood, sir." he said without giving it much thought. The answer was immediate since it had been thrilled into him in the camp.

He watched as Hoare rushed off, leaving him to his own darkening thoughts. He sat on the ground, his leg pouncing up and down in distress. Will swirled piece of grass between his nimble fingers, blue eyes unseeing as he tried to think of everything else but the unmoving body of Clara Schmidt. His leg stopped pouncing and he flinched as another face popped up from the haze. An angelic one with hair the colour of pale sunset and eyes the most mysterious and playful blue one could ever imagine. He remembered the way her warm lips had felt on his cheek, her hair had brushed against his nose when she had stood over him in the yard when he was playing injured man.

He remembered her bell like laughter as if she was a forest nymph and he was the foolish victim who had fallen hopelessly in love with a... Creature out of this world.

Even though the night earlier was still a foggy memory and some places didn't make sense, he still felt so much quilt eating him alive. He groaned and buried his pale face into his hands, tugging at the roots of his dusty hair. He could already imagine how devastated she was, how disappointed.

But the last thought hurt the most.
Did she even remember him?

He raised his head, glancing around he stood up on numb legs and walked away from the tent.

He could no longer just sit on one place and allow his brain to overwork. He needed to move, do something. The day was colder than usual, grey clouds drifting overhead, bringing the smell of late autumn along.

William's golden brows rose as he noticed the familiar tent. It was larger than others and definitely pricier as well. He looked right and left, noticing with a sour mood that most soldiers were all together to discuss the further plans and the news from the capital, unlike he who was forced to guard the gear.

What was there to guard anyways?

The numbness that had settled around his heart was drowned by the familiar, hot feeling of mischief as he stepped into the dimly lit tent quietly, tiptoeing over to the heavy boxes with tags on them. He made sure the rifle on his back didn't pump into any iron boxes and catch some unwanted attention.

Crackers, onions, canned meat, potatoes, peas, beans, pickles and a whole lot more that was needed for soups and stews. A small smile played on his lips when he pulled open the box with crackers in them. He knew well enough that most of them would go to the chefs belly and never make it to the soldiers tables anyway. He tucked couple of smaller bags into the inside pockets, closing the lid carefully while going on for the next one. His hand howered over the lid for a second, his mind replaying the events of the day earlier. But it had helped him to forget. His hand dove into the box, pulling out the smallest bottle of strong spirits he could find. He tucked it into his pocket, closing the box hurriedly as he crouched down, noticing the flaps of the tent move and the dull light from the outside illuminate the neatly placed boxes. His right hand gripped the stock of the rifle as his left was on the ground, helping him keep balance and not move an inch, knowing any movement would caught attention.

He held his breath as he tried to see from behind two boxes who had decided to step into the food tent. Everyone knew only ones allowed were the chefs and these two were not chefs. The two figures murmured lowly to each other, seemingly in a heated conversation and William realised there were some words that were not in English at all. He realised one of the men was Srg Harrison, and the other was unknown to him. He watched curiously their expressions, seeing anxiousness and anger in the sergeants ashen face while the soldiers was void of any feelings. He tried to listen closer, blue eyes wide as he spied on them intentionally this time. There were couple of words that reached his ears.

Srg Harrison balled his fists, his moustache raising half an inch as he pulled his lips into thin line, bushy eyebrows in an angry scowl as he glared up at the soldier who seemed simply annoyed by the sergeant. By their talk, that was a mixture of English and something else, Will understood that there was something going to happen tonight. But before Srg Harrison stormed out angrily, he growled something spiteful at the soldier, spitting onto his feet.

William held his breath and watched the soldier roll his eyes, sigh in exhaustion and then leave as well. William let out a shuddering breath, letting himself fall on his one knee as his calves were killing him. He stood up and rushed towards the tent flaps, not knowing what to do with the information he just had heard. Or understood for that matter. As he stepped outside, his.pickets filled with crackers and a lonely little of spirits in his pocket, he collided with a hard body, stumbling back a small step.

"Well, well, well, behind those innocent eyes and pale face there's a damn thief isn't there." Theo said, looking down at Will in amusement as his eyes shone with surprise rather than hatred for once. William stuttered under his breath, not being able to say anything as he blinked at his comrade. Theo said nothing as he held out his hand. "hand them over."

William stood, his legs slightly spread as his expression changed immediately. "I've got nothing." Theo raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly. William grumbled under his breath, muttering curses as he hesitantly glanced around, holding the small bag of crackers.

Theo grabbed them, clearing his throat as he looked at Will expectedly. The younger boy stomped his feet slightly and curled his fingers around the small bottle hidden in his deep pocket. His blue eyes glaring daggers at Theo. "There, I knew you didn't go in there for just crackers." the older soldier said cockily, pulling the bottle from his grasp before he could have even taken it out of his pocket completely, then he turned around and walked away. William ran to catch up with Theo making sure to not stay behind even a step as he huffed in anger.

"I could say that you went in there to steal food." he said lightly, smirking as he saw Theos step falter. The usual scowl was back on his face as he half turned to William.

"Fine, I can share a little."

***

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Well, I wonder what that was all about...

Also, sorry for the grammatical errors and bad writing, hope you enjoyed it anyways :)
With love,
Stranger