inspired by Call Me by Your Name (the book)

"Hey can I buy you a drink gorgeous?"

I turned around and tried to place the man who asked the question. Fluffy brown hair, brown eyes, and pretty tall with a button down and jeans. He looked as basic as every other man in this club.

"I wouldn't mind," I responded as he ordered both of us a tequila shot. Well, a man of taste or a man who had been staring at me long enough to notice my poison of choice.

I gulped the shot down as he did and asked him to dance with me as I pulled him to the dance floor. Based on his attitude, he was usually the one in control, going after girls who are submissive with a bold attitude.

We danced and danced and danced until it was socially acceptable for me to ask him if we were going to his place or mine.

"Mine. Let's go," he answered hastily, flustered by my boldness but also turned on by my dominance.

His hands were on my thighs during the ride back and all over me after the ride.

A few hours later, he rolled back onto the bed from above me, "Whew that was..."

"The best you ever had? Yeah, not the first time I've heard that," I replied with all the cockiness I could muster. To be honest with you, he was also pretty good, one of the rare ones that could give a girl the pleasure she needed.

"Uhm yeah you could say that..." he said, slightly taken aback by my self-confidence.

I got up on my elbows and looked at the clock on his nightstand. 4 a.m.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. I mean, I usually switched between leaving and staying, depending on the guy but today my mind was on something else. I was tired of sleeping around and leaving.

"Uh I mean you could stay the night if you wanted to... I'm sorry I'm just not used to this. I mean it's not my first one night stand but..." he stuttered.

Suddenly, an idea crossed my mind. I wanted to do it different. I owe it to myself to get out of this cycle, "Do you want to do something different? Spontaneous? Honestly, I don't even remember your name but I'm Sam and I want to do something random right now. You up for it?"

"Uh yeah. Yeah. What do you want to do?" his eyes linger over my body as I got up from the bed and went to his closet to pull out the comfiest sweatshirt and boxers he owned.

"Leave that up to me. Just get ready and you can drive while I give you the directions," I responded as I tried to fix my hair and makeup to the best of my abilities while he put his jeans back on and left his shirt half unbuttoned, just enough to show off the hard planes of his chest.

I dropped my clothes from last night and every other belonging into his car before we began driving into the dark. I asked him to drive to the nearest Starbucks, picked up a couple breakfast sandwich and coffees, then to a grocery store for some alcohol (thank god for early morning cashiers who don't ID girls that flirt with them, am I right ladies?), and finally to the beach just in time for the sunrise.

We settled down on an isolated part of the beach, watching the sunrise and the waves. The guy tried to introduce himself, but I honestly didn't care for it. What was the point of knowing about someone who are never gonna meet ever again?

"You smoke?" he asked in surprise as I pulled out my cig from my pocket which I had snuck from my purse before we left his place.

"Yeah. Does it bother you?" I responded but frankly I didn't care if it bothered him. I didn't care about him. I haven't care about any of the other men I have fucked since my heart got broken.

"No it doesn't. Doesn't it bother you? You are slowly killing yourself and I can tell you are smart enough to know that," he said which surprised me. No one cares that much about my actions.

"And the alcohol doesn't kill you? Doesn't ruin your liver? Doesn't limit your brain development when ingested prior to 21? " I nodded towards the bottle, half of which he had already downed.

"Touché," he chuckled. I did put the cig away though.

We left after the sun had risen. After small talk had been made and all the food and drinks had been downed. He dropped me off at my dorm and I went upstairs, changed back into my own clothing, and went back down to give his clothes back to him.

"Uh I know I said this was a one night stand but... I liked it you know? Not the sex. Well I did like the sex but I'm talking about the spontaneity. I've never met a girl... Sam I have your number?" his eyes darted everywhere. I was surprised; I never thought he had it in him but the nervousness was adorable.

When I looked into his eyes, I saw the possibility of a future. Maybe we would go out a couple times and then he would ask me out. He would be as loyal as a man is today; maybe cheat once but tell me he was drunk and I'm the only one he wants. Maybe we will patch things up, even get married and have kids while I still have doubts of his loyalty to me. Maybe, there was a future.

I typed a number into his phone and he drove away with the biggest smile. I hope the note under my contact or the fact that he would never find a Sam living in these dorms wouldn't wipe that smile away.

Don't dial this number... it isn't mine. Maybe one day you will actually get mine if our paths cross again but I hope not. You deserve someone better. You're a good guy.

I wish I remembered his name.