I want to smell the autumn leaves that crunch as i walk upon them

And the smell of pumpkins and cinnamon wafting through the air

I want the comfort of thick sweaters on cold nights

And steaming hot cocoa fogging up my glasses

I want the perfect balance between hot and cold days

And the beauty that blooms in flowers and trees

I want to feel the cold water against my hot skin

Summer nights spent laughing among friends

I want all of this

Without the pain and constant heaviness that hangs upon me

Making me feel alone among all this beauty