"Are you sure you have the right directions?"

          (F/n) slid their sunglasses down, giving (Y/n) a cheeky smile. "Yep! The flyer said: 108 West South Tech University Boulevard!" (Y/n) could feel their head spinning.

           "Why the hell would it be hosted on the same street as the Technology Institute?" They asked as (F/n) shrugged. "I dunno, I'm just here to get you a partner."

              (Y/n) sighed, leaning against the window. "This (dress/tux/date attire) is itchy..." They mumbled, as (F/n) laughed. "Dude! You have to look good!"

                 They grinned. "How else are you gonna pick up a cutie?" (Y/n) rolled their eyes. "Maybe I don't wanna pick up a cutie." (F/n) gasped dramatically.

                  "You won't be single if I have anything to say about it!" They half-joked. "But-" (Y/n) started to protest, but (F/n) interrupted them.

"We're here!!"

                   They quickly slammed the brakes, nearly sending (Y/n) into the dash. They sighed in relief. "And that kids...is why you wear your seatbelt..." They joked slightly.

                    (F/n) rushed them out of the car, smiling excitedly. "It's the big building with the orange door! Now make me proud!!" They cheered, as they drove off.

                   Rolling their eyes, (Y/n) turned to glance at the building. Their head traveled all the way to the top. It was a huge building...but there wasn't an orange door...

              They decided their best bet was to check inside the building. Walking up to the rotating door, they pushed through. However, the building was rather empty.

             It was clearly a hotel...but...something felt off. Was it abandoned? (Y/n) shivered slightly, who would host an event like this in an abandoned hotel?

               Their shoes clicked as they looked down the halls. Suddenly, they noticed a bright orange door. (Y/n) weighed the options in their head as they approached it.

One: they could go back outside and walk back home.

Two: they could check the door and possibly get murdered.

If it were the latter, they'd haunt (F/n).

           Sighing, they reached for the handle. A bright light blinded them. "Gah!" They covered their eyes, as they felt their body pulled in. Nearly tripping, (Y/n) smacked their head on a hard surface.

           "Are you alright?" A calm, almost robotic voice asked. "Ow...yeah..." They hissed slightly, standing up. "You must be one of the participants."

              They nodded. "Begrudgingly...yeah."
(Y/n) sighed. "Very well. I'll let Mephone know the attendance is full." (Y/n) furrowed their eyebrows in confusion.

"Mephone...that's an odd- HELLO-"

                Uncovering their eyes mid sentence, (Y/n) flinched in shock, backing away a step.

A giant tablet was standing in front of them.

               "Right, I didn't introduce myself, did I?" He said, as (Y/n) stared at him blankly. "I am Mepad." He said, before a screen with a keyboard appeared.

"To confirm your attendance, please type in your name." (Y/n) hesitantly moves their hand towards his screen, before typing their name.

Mepad's face reappeared, and he started to lead them to the room. "I should tell you, the participants can be a bit...quirky." He warned, as they rose an eyebrow.

"Quirky..." They repeated. He nodded. "Yes. That is what I just said." Finally, they entered what seemed to be a convention room.

(Y/n) covered their mouth in shock, as they saw more living objects, most of them talking to each other. "You seem surprised." Mepad said, breaking them out of their trance.

"Yeah...no shit..." They mumbled slightly. "What did (F/n) get me into...?" Mepad brought up a document on his screen. "Did they read the fine print?"

(Y/n) sighed, facepalming. "That explains it, they never read that stuff." Mepad's face reappeared. "I think you can handle this event."

Suddenly, a phone approached them, a toilet beside him. "Hey! There's the human!" He said, smiling. It felt kinda...fake...oddly enough.

But there seemed to be a bit of mischievousness hidden in there as well. "I was wondering when you'd show!" (Y/n) backed away slightly, as he tried to lean on their shoulder.

"...Okay. So no touching." He joked, as the toilet sped up to them. "Oh my gosh! I bet you're so excited!" He spoke, causing (Y/n) to flinch in confusion.

The toilet was British.

The toilet...was British.

As they tried to wrap their head around that, the phone brought them back to reality. "Okay, so here's how this is gonna go down."

Mepad pulled up a chart. "You'll be the odd one out, obviously. So really, it doesn't matter what you do, all eyes will be on you." (Y/n) shook their head in confusion.

"Hold on. What?" They asked. The phone rose his index finger. "This isn't any normal Speed Dating event." He explained. "But...I should probably introduce myself first."

(Y/n) gave him a blank look, as he smirked. "I'm Mephone4, I host a reality show called Inanimate Insanity." He turned to look at the contestants.

"Ratings are sliding down hill right now...so I decided we should try something a little different." Mepad displayed another chart, something about ratings.

"Dating shows are all the rage right now, so why not try a Speed Dating special?" He frowned slightly. "But there was a problem."

Mepad displayed pictures of each participant. "Everyone already knew these guys. We needed something fresh, something exciting!"

He pointed at (Y/n). "And that is where you come in." They gave him an unamused look. "Ah. So you're just using me." He shrugged, smiling.

"When you say it like that, it sounds bad!" He tried to grab their shoulder, but they moved. "All you have to do is participate in the dates. React naturally!"

                  He put his arms behind his back. "Who knows, maybe you'll actually love one of these stereoty- I mean, participants." (Y/n) glanced in the direction of the others.

              "Just leave everything to us." Mepad reassured, but stopped them before they could walk away. "Although, I'd like you to leave your phone with me."

               They wanted to protest, but sighed, giving him their phone. Then, (Y/n) walked over to the other participants. Naturally, they didn't actually have time to talk to anyone.

                Mephone smiled, before calling attention to everyone. "Okay! Your first dates will begin after we set the rotation." He explained, before revealing a table.

                 It was ridiculously long, and had several glasses of...wine? The liquid was a really bright pink. Maybe it was strawberry wine, or something.

                "One person gets a glass. Once they pick, they drink it. A name will be at the bottom of the glass." He said, as everyone looked around.

                 He suddenly made a hat appear. "Now I'll draw a name. Once the first date is set, we'll base the rotation off of that first pair." Mephone searched around around the hat.

             It took a minute, but he pulled one from the bottom of the hat. He took a look and smiled.

"(Y/n)."

Oh of fucking course.

             They sighed, walking up to the stage. Mephone winked at them, as they looked at all the different wine glasses. Eventually, they picked one right in the middle.

             Picking it up, they took a sip, shocked at how sweet the drink was. It was a strawberry lemonade of some kind. Then, they took a look at the bottom of the glass.

"...Box..."

Everyone let out a collective groan.

               "Seriously?!" A paintbrush said, bristles smoking slightly. Mephone shrugged. "That settles it then, let's begin!"

                 (Y/n) groaned, slamming their head on the table.

A conversation with a brick wall would have been more interesting then their date with Box.

Given the circumstances...that was probably possible.

Thank goodness it was rotation time.

               The room rotated, as they glanced at the door. "Well, it was lovely meeting you. But we have to part ways now." They picked up Box, setting them outside the door.

               Sighing in relief, the door closed. Turning back to face the table they jumped slightly, seeing a trophy smirking at them... flirtatiously...

                 "So, (Y/n), was it?" They winced slightly. "Yeah...let me guess, your name is literally 'Trophy'?" He nodded, leaning against the chair.

                "How'd you guess?" He joked, as (Y/n) uncomfortably sat down in their chair. "Guess we have forty minutes to kill...wanna talk?" He sat down in his chair.

              "We're already talking!" He pointed out, letting a forced laugh out. They stared at him, unimpressed. This made his smile crack slightly. "Uhhh..."

               Trophy nervously grinned. "...The weather is...nice?" They chuckled. "Weather. Really?" (Y/n) rose an eyebrow. Trophy blushed slightly.

"W-Well if you're so good at conversation, you pick a topic!"

(Y/n) smirked.

"Have you ever eaten the forbidden corn dog?"

           (Y/n) sipped their water, as Fan rambled about his interests. "But man, was the first season good!" He excitedly said. "Of course, it's harder to update the blog now..."

            He frowned slightly. "Are you sure you don't mind me talking about this?" They smiled at him, setting their drink down. "Fan. It's fine." They reassured.

            "It's really cute when you get excited and talk about it." If his face wasn't already red, his blush would have made it red. "I-I...oh wow-" He looked away slightly.

He was smiling like a goofball.

             "That's so sweet..." He sniffled, before turning back to face them. "I know this might be weird for you..." He chuckled. (Y/n) held back a laugh.

"Understatement of the century."

(Y/n) masked their disgusted look, as Tissues sniffled slightly. "Sorry..." They gave him a understanding smile. "It's okay, you can't help it." They said.

Pushing away their plate slightly, they chuckled. "I wasn't even hungry anyways..." Tissues stared at (Y/n) with a guilty look. "I can get another-"

They shook their head. "I'll eat later, why don't you tell me about...this." (Y/n) made a circling motion, waving their hand at him. Tissues glanced to the side.

"Well...there's a ton of symptoms..." He started.

"This is kinda odd to do on a date..."

(Y/n) said in a lighthearted tone, colored pencil in hand. Apple smiled, reaching for a green one. "I know, but I'm not really good at these things."

She sheepishly smiled at them, scribbling something down on her drawing. (Y/n) shaded something in, smiling, "Well, I think you're doing great."

Apple looked up excitedly. "R-Really?" They nodded. "This is a nice change of pace, pretty relaxing too." She smiled, noticing (Y/n) put down their colored pencil.

"Are you done? Can I see it?!" She asked them excitedly. Giggling, they nodded, sliding the drawing over to her. Apple excitedly looked down, then quickly covered her mouth.

Thank goodness she was red.

(Y/n) had drawn a stylized picture of her!

She smiled hugging the piece. "This is amazing!" (Y/n) rubbed the back of their head, sheepishly looking away. "I'm glad you like it." The bell rang, signaling the rotation.

"Break time! Everyone head to the lobby!"

Mephone shouted, as everyone let out a collective sigh of relief. As everyone started to leave, he approached (Y/n), Toilet and Mepad in tow.

"You're doing great so far, that fourth date was spicy." He said, chuckling. "Was it?" (Y/n) asked in confusion. Mepad glanced at him, a questioning look on his face.

"(Y/n) is right, what made it 'spicy'?" Fan suddenly popped up, startling them. "Ohoho, I'm glad you asked!" He said, pulling up his phone.

He pulled up an app...something that looked similar to tumblr. "The fans are going nuts over how kind you were to Tissues!" Mephone suddenly stopped him.

"Hold your horses! Mepad take (Y/n) to go get some punch or something." He said, giving a light glare to Fan. Mepad gently nudged them. "Right away."

Once the two were gone, he sighed in relief. "You can't just let them know what's going on online! At least, not until the special is over!" Mephone said, swiping Fan's phone.

"We need them to naturally react. If they find out they're being shipped and have shipping wars currently going on, it could pressure them to act differently!"

Fan shrugged. "And pretending it doesn't exist is somehow better..." Mephone sighed in frustration. "Whatever, just don't mention it to them."

He started to walk away. Back with Mepad and (Y/n), Toilet had just joined them. "The break is almost over! You're doing lovely, by the way!" He said to (Y/n)

They chuckled, nodding. "Thanks... and I hear you loud and clear." They said, waving at the two, before leaving. Toilet quickly leaned closer to Mepad.

"Remember that thing Mistah Phone was talking about?" He said, as Mepad nodded. "Of course. He mentioned how drama towards the end would increase ratings."

Toilet excitedly pulled out three mini wine glasses.

"I think I found a way to do that!!"

The first date after break was... interesting to say the least. Yin-Yang nervously sat in front of them, adjusting his bow tie. "Do you...like water?"

Yang rolled his eye. "Idiot. They are obviously more of a soda type of human." Yin frowned. "I don't know about that. They look healthy."

Raising his arms, Yang gasped. "And what is that supposed to mean?!" He growled. Before the two could argue, (Y/n) distracted them. "Boys."

Their anger instantly melted, as a calm expression replaced their look of anger. "Sorry. I was just trying to stop Yin from being stupid..."

He scoffed, smirking slightly. "What kind of a conversation starter is 'do you like water,' anyways?" Yin frowned, as (Y/n) smiled.

"Come on. Cut him some slack." They said. "He's trying his best." The two stared at them in shock. "T-Thanks!" Yin said, as Yang frowned.

"...I guess." Yang said, as a slight blush covered his face.

"And he said: "and here's where we keep the dog food"!"

Cheesy laughed, slapping his knee. "He said it to a horse!" He snickered, as (Y/n) covered their mouth. They were laughing quietly.

He smiled, leaning against the table. "One of the greatest comedians, I'll tell you that." (Y/n) smiled, uncovering their mouth. "I'm sure you'll be up there someday."

His face fell slightly, as he looked at them in shock. It took him a minute to process those words. "You think?" He asked, smiling. They nodded.

"I think you can make it." They reassured, as he stood up. "That...That means a lot to me." He said, turning away slightly. "Don't look- I'm melting-"

(Y/n) snickered.

"Ah yes, the forbidden dipping sauce."

Cheesy froze.

Then he smiled.

"I didn't know you liked dark humor!"

(Y/n) hesitantly poured a bit more water, as Paintbrush nervously glanced to the side. They were blushing slightly, tapping, what appeared to be their index fingers, together.

"So...do you think it'll be okay?" They asked, as (Y/n) sat the pitcher down. They gave Paintbrush a comforting smile. "If she is as strong as you describe her..."

They nodded. "Of course she's going to have a rough time, but I'm positive she'll make it through the competition okay." Paintbrush smiled.

"Thanks for that..." They said. "I really needed that..." (Y/n) gently placed their hand on Paintbrush's hand. "I'm glad you feel better now."

"Cool! But please don't point that at me-"

(Y/n) spoke, as Test Tube excitedly showed off her new invention. "Don't worry!" She said, waving her hand dismissively. "The inter dimensional transporter can't hurt anyone...I think."

She said, setting it down on the table. "That's actually how you got here." She told them. "What?" (Y/n) asked in confusion. "Wait, but aren't we in the abandoned hotel?"

               Test Tube nervously laughed. "About that..." She started.

"The door you entered was a gateway to our world..."

"..."

"(Y/n)?"

            They held their head in their hands. "Okay. Okay." They said. "Okay so...I'm not in my world." Test Tube nodded. "Yeah, I know it sounds crazy-"

              (Y/n) shook their head slightly. "No it's fine!" They said, staying oddly calm. Test Tube gave them a nervous look. "Do you need to talk about it?"

               They let out a slight laugh. "Honestly, I've been through worse." They told her, smiling. "Let's just continue the date." After a moment, she hesitantly smiled.

(Y/n) laughed, blushing slightly as Lightbulb finished her story. "You'd be surprised how many people I've had to send to the calm down corner."

Smiling, Lightbulb leaned against the table. "Although, now I don't really have anyone to send to the calm down corner..."
(Y/n) was quick to respond.

"I'm sorry." They said apologetically. Lightbulb flinched, but quickly returned to her happy demeanor. "Heh...What?" She laughed awkwardly, shrugging.

"Why are you apologizing for that?" (Y/n) frowned a bit. "Come on...you can't tell me you're completely fine..." Lightbulb's smile cracked slightly.

She sighed, frowning. "Okay, you got me." She said. (Y/n) stood up, bringing their chair around the table. They sat close to her. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Without a second thought, Lightbulb began to spill her guts. "It's so frustrating, and sad!" She said, leaning against the back of her chair.

"But at the same time, I feel like I always gotta smile." (Y/n) pat her back. "I really am sorry..." They said, as she smiled a genuine smile.

"Well, it isn't so bad." She confessed. "I mean, I got to see my friends now, during this event." (Y/n) nodded, smiling. "I'm glad you get to!"

Lightbulb grabbed their hand. "Hey, maybe when this whole date thing is over, all of us can hang out." She said, as (Y/n) nodded. "I think you'd fit right in!"

They let go of her hand, reaching into their pocket. "I don't usually do this...but..." They handed her a piece of paper. "I want you to have this."

Lightbulb looked down at the paper, and gasped.

It was their phone number!

"Just in case you ever need someone to talk to." They said, unintentionally sounding innocent. Lightbulb smiled, as the bell went off again, and the room started to rotate.

"Okay, favorite snack?"

(Y/n) thought for a moment.

"(F/f)."

"Ooh. Favorite color?"

"(F/c)."

Microphone snapped, smiling. "Put a finger down! That's one of my favorites too!"
(Y/n) smiled, putting down their thumb. Microphone was currently beating them.

She smirked slightly. "Your turn!" (Y/n) thought for a moment. "Favorite artist?" Microphone made a flustered sound. "You can't expect me to pick one!"

It was (Y/n)'s turn to smirk. "Oh? I think we share at least three, in that case.~" Microphone playfully stuck her tongue out at them.

"Fine then...Oh!" She said, putting three fingers down. "I can play dirty too! First kiss?"
(Y/n) slowly looked away.

"...Wait..."

Microphone stared at them in shock.

"You've never had a kiss before?!"

(Y/n) chuckled, shaking their head. "Nope." Microphone was silent for a good minute after that.

"..."

"Can I be your first?"

The others were watching the replay in shock. Glass shattered as Fan dropped his cup. "Oh my god." He gasped, glancing at Test Tube.

"That smooth mother f-" Paintbrush was quickly cut off when the screen shut off. "Break time over already?" Lightbulb groaned, standing up.

Mephone stepped into the break room, smirking slightly. "Wow, Lightbulb may have gotten their number, but it looks Microphone is currently winning."

He chuckled. Paintbrush crossed their arms. "Wait, are you only keeping tabs on
(Y/n)?" They asked, and Mephone shrugged. "Their dates are infinitely more interesting."

Everyone murmured in agreement. "Even the fans agree on that one." Fan laughed, pulling up his blog. Mephone glanced around. "It's almost time to start up again."

             Everyone left the break room, getting ready to continue the event.

"I guess I was possessed, or something."

Baseball told them, nervously fiddling with his drink. "Of course, Nickel still won't believe me." He chuckled. (Y/n) rested their head in their hands.

           "Even after all this time?" He shook his head. "He's kinda...stubborn." He said, a small smile on his face. Suddenly, Baseball's face dropped into a blank expression.

"Weird...I'm getting dejavu..."

             (Y/n) rose an eyebrow. "Hm?" He looked around, then back at them. "I feel like... we've met before..." (Y/n) smiled at him, shrugging.

             "Well, this is my first time meeting you." They chuckled, as he smiled again. "I guess it is." The bell rang, and he frowned. "Ah. That's our cue."

(Y/n) waved at him.

"Maybe we'll see each other again."

"Hold on. You are a ghost?"

(Y/n) asked, as Bow smiled. "I know, right?! Look at my tail!" She said, grinning. She was honestly adorable to them. "That's nice!" They giggled.

           Bow floated down slightly, putting her hands on the table. "Of course, it's kinda difficult being a ghost." She said. "We can't leave the mansion without that nerd's machine thingy."

(Y/n) tilted their head to the side. "Test Tube?" They questioned, as Bow giggled. "Yep! I'm surprised you were able to guess on the first try!"

            Sheepishly chuckling, (Y/n) shrugged. "Well, Mephone did mention something about stereotypes..." Bow didn't seem to notice what they said.

             "Smile for the camera!" She said, pointing her phone's front facing camera towards the two.

                (Y/n) nervously fidgeted with their hands, avoiding eye contact with the menacing object in front of them. Sipping their drink, he finally spoke.

"You weren't expecting someone like me, were you?"

                Nearly choking on the liquid, (Y/n) sat their glass down. "W-What's that supposed to mean?" They rose an eyebrow. Knife shrugged. "You don't seem as friendly as everyone was claiming."

               (Y/n) blushed in embarrassment, looking down. "I-I'm sorry." Knife scooted his chair back slightly. "Huh?" He questioned. "For what? I was just pointing it out."

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind their ear, (Y/n) clarified. "I was just a bit surprised, I didn't know I was acting differently."

Knife hid his surprised look. "Oh." Was the only thing he could say. For a moment, they both sat in uncomfortable silence.

"Maybe I'm just afraid of saying the wrong thing."

Flinching in shock, Knife cleared his throat slightly, hoping no one saw him flinch. "What? Are you scared you'll hurt my feelings?" He joked.

(Y/n) rubbed the back of their neck, shoulders raised a bit. "Well..." The intercom turned on, causing her to flinch. "Attention all dates!" Toilet said, surprising the two.

                 "Get moving back to the stage! MePad has an important announcement to make!"   (Y/n) sighed. "Just my luck..." They quickly pulled out a pen.

                  "Hey Knife?" They asked, scribbling something down. "I don't feel right leaving the date off like this." Folding the paper in half, they slid it over to him.

                     They avoided eye contact with him, face red. "It'll be my treat." (Y/n) said, standing up. The two of them walked back to the stage.

              Mephone had a slight look of anger as he watched his co-hosts from behind the curtain. He had no idea what they were doing. Once everyone was gathered, they spoke up.

              "(Y/N) GET YA BUM UP HERE AND TAKE A SIP OF THIS-" Mepad quickly interrupted Toilet. "What he means is, (Y/n) was randomly selected for a special event."

              Of course they were. "Here we have three wine glasses, each with a new name you haven't rotated with before." They felt even more confused.

They had rotated with everyone...hadn't they?

This whole thing felt like it was taking three years, and at this point, (Y/n) was tired.

              "Mx. (Y/n), if you'd please step up to the stage and pick a glass." Mepad said, smiling. (Y/n) did just that, looking at the three glasses.

               Eventually, they picked the one in the middle, sipping the liquid...which tasted like... milk after dipping cookies in it...

                  The name at the bottom made them choke slightly in shock, as they quickly covered their mouth to cough.

"M-Mephone?!"

                    A few gasps could be heard, even Mephone himself was shocked. His face was a bit red, as he quickly started trying to fix the situation.

               "And that's all the time we have for this  special episode!" He said, trying to hide his flustered tone, as he started to push (Y/n) of stage.

"Sir isn't this a bit abrupt-"

"Quiet you!"

               (Y/n) was quickly pushed out of the object world, confused. "What the hell was that all about-" They mumbled, unsure of what to think.

              Well, maybe they'd meet Mephone again some day. Along with the other strange objects they spent time with. After all, a lot can change in three years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good god this took forever-
Funny story, this was supposed to be released in valentines of 2020
And it's 2022.
Sorry it took so long- but I'm not happy with how this turned out which is why I'm rewriting it to reflect the new season and my change in writing.
Anyways, thanks for sticking around and reading my garbo-
I promise a better version is on the way.