<TW> possession, mention of possession, mention of hate, hallucination, mention of hallucination,

<CW> angst

Guys... I accidentally passed by a video..

I didn't write the "Mother Mary" meme, it goes before "Hidden But Alive."

So... sorry 'bout that. But, honestly, I think(*hope) the story works fine without it..

Hopefully-

ANNYYYWAAYYS,

Enjoy!

[ORIGINAL PLOT BY Roxy-Rox0 ]

Zedaph blinked his eyes open and sat up on the couch. He frowned, his dream made him feel stressed, but he couldn't remember it.

  He wandered out of the room and let his ears lead him to where he heard Xisuma. The admins voice was stern, though, so Zedaph wondered what he was doing.

  Xisuma was in Cub's lab, so Zedaph entered through the back door. They installed the door since the attack, for just in case they needed to escape and the door was blocked.

He hid behind a connecting wall when he heard his own name. Zedaph glanced at who was arguing with Xisuma, it was Cub. And Ren was there too.

  "He was only trying to help, it isn't completely his fault, Cub." That was Xisuma, he's defending Zedaph again.

  "Well his 'help' only got Ren trapped, Doc corrupted, Iskall and Gem taken, and Grian, BDubs, and Etho missing." Cub countered.

  Zedaph couldn't help but feel a piece of him break, Cub, Cub his lab coat friend, was against him. So many people seemed to hate him now.

Zedaph blocked out the conversation by putting his hands over his drooping goat ears, he glanced at an annoyed looking Ren on the other side of X and quickly left. He didn't feel like talking to 'Suma anymore.

He exited X's base in general, going outside for the first time in a bit. He stared at the sun for a moment before his eyes burned and watered so he looked away, he glanced behind him, his eyes shocking him.

Behind him he saw Doc, fully well and smiling. He waved at Zedaph and opened his mouth to talk, but before the hallucination could go too far for Zedaph's heart to take he raced off down the path.

Zedaph stopped before he reached trees and turned back, he didn't want to be that far away all alone. He ran back to X's base, staring only at the ground and trusting his ears to warm him if someone was approaching, not trusting his eyes to show him the truth.

Zedaph found himself on another couch, this one closer to X's storage room. He laid down on the surprisingly soft cushions and closed his eyes so that they couldn't fool him again.

He didn't stay there for long, his legs jittery from the run and his head pounding with the adrenaline that he had given himself. You'd think that Zedaph would've calmed down by now.

Zedaph opened his eyes and sat up, bringing one leg closer and staring at the other that was still laid out on the couch. He studied his black boots, he didn't think to remove them often. They were plain, but sturdy. And they still didn't calm Zedaph's mind.

So instead he thought of the argument he had accidentally walked into. Xisuma looked fed up. Was he finally fed up with Zedaph? Or was he fed up with Cub's complaining?

Zedaph couldn't tell.

✦✦ last life but it's a  s o n g (if ykyk)✦✦

  Zedaph stood on the other side of a window. On the opposite side was Xisuma, and Scar.

  They were restraining Mumbo and trying to give him a potion to drink. Mumbo actually wasn't fighting much, he hasn't been very aggressive at all, actually. Not since Xisuma had helped bring him into the GC-Lab, well, the PC-Lab now.

Mumbo just seemed more bored, maybe even a bit down. But that was unlikely with the limited emotions the possessed Hermits could feel now. Which really just consisted of boredom, anger, and indifference.

Zedaph wasn't really paying attention to what they were doing though, he was only invited along because Scar didn't want Zedaph to be alone. So, Zedaph just let himself be lost in his thoughts, even if they were bad.

And of course, his thoughts had to drift to earlier that day, with Ren. Zedaph always felt horrible thinking of Ren, but the memory was even more hurtful.

Zedaph had just wandered into a kitchen, Cub was there with Ren, not wanting to leave the dog hybrid alone. Ren tried to tell Zedaph that he didn't want to be near him, and the words hurt.

But Zedaph knew that it was nothing compared to the pain he must've made Ren feel. Or, at least, he thought so.

After that Ren had talked to Xisuma about not wanting to be near Zedaph, the conversation wasn't a pleasant one to listen to, with bickering and exasperation twisted together.

Zedaph hated it.

Ren hated him.

Cub hated him.

So many Hermits either didn't acknowledge him, hated him, or gave these horribly patronizing looks that just made Zedaph feel so much worse about his past actions.

"Can you just give me some space, dude? I don't want to be reminded of it or that destroyed castle." Ren's words.

"He only hurt us, his 'help' didn't actually help." Cub's words.

Xisuma's exhausted defences for Zedaph.

Maybe it was just Zedaph's mind overplaying and thinking what he was told and what he saw, but he was sure that at least half of the Hermits hated him.

Zedaph wasn't sure how long he stood there feeling sorry for himself, but he finally decided to walk away from the window. He went back to that couch, just sitting there and letting himself get lost in his head again.

  But he was walking now. Away from the comfortable couch, his head still in the grey clouds that were his head.

  He saw the Being, but Zedaph wasn't sure if it was just another hallucination, or if it was real.

  "Hello again," the Being spoke, it seemed a bit pleased.

  Zedaph was starting to question whether this was a hallucination, but still he didn't respond. Zedaph stopped walking and stood in front of the Being.

  That's right, he had been walking, but where was he now?

  "You seem tired," the Being told Zedaph, leaning down a bit to see Zedaph's dipped head before straightening again.

  It was right, Zedaph felt exhausted, mentally and physically. He didn't want to have to handle all of this anymore. He just wanted his old happiness back.

  "Goodnight," the Being said, placing a hand on Zedaph's head awkwardly.

  Zedaph raised his head a bit. "Goodnight?" He echoed quietly. His head still registering that his hallucination was actually touching him.

  "Goodnight." The Being repeated.

  Zedaph's mind finally caught up and he looked up, wide eyed, at the Being. But his vision was already fading into green, the tint obscuring the Being's facial expression even more than its mask.

Maybe it'll be better for Zedaph like that, without those concerns for his possessed friends, without the depressing thoughts about his friends hating him. He didn't need that.

He doesn't want to go back, he doesn't want to go back.

He had nothing with them, between Xisuma's defence and Scar's kindness, it all was surly fake.

Zedaph didn't need that, he'd stay away. He only needed the Being. And the other possessed Hermits. That was his new home, not X's overcrowded base.

So Zedaph would listen in on Xisuma's discussions with Ren and Scar about Mumbo, he'd focus on what Cub's projects were, he'd look through every room.

He didn't need to go back, he had nothing there anyway.

But now, he had a purpose.

And he would stay by the Being.

1288 words

Eh, could probably do better... and longer. I think it's alright though! I'm getting better at this, eh? Anyways, I did swap something in here a bit, if you noticed. But I like it this way, hope you do too!

Have a great one!

1334 words with a/n